A New Dawn

Author: spikeNdru

Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel, the Series

Genre: Drama

Rating: PG

Length: 3,936 words

Characters: Dawn, Connor, others

Spike & Dawn friendship, Dawn/Connor romance

Time frame: Post-Chosen, Post-Home

Summary: Dawn goes to live with Hank in LA and meets a very interesting guy.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and 20th Century Fox. No infringement is intended. I'm just playing with them. If there is a problem with that, contact my attorneys at Wolfram and Hart.

A/N: The character of Linda Gutierrez was originally created by Barb Cummings in her wonderful story "Necessary Evils" (chapter 17) and appears here due to Barb's gracious permission.

Special thanks to The Rice Girl, Nikki, and Barb C. for their excellent beta work---your time and suggestions were much appreciated.

Part 1---Devon

Giles was concerned. Dawn just wasn't adjusting to the aftermath of the Sunnydale "earthquake". (Denial was apparently limitless in California.) Willow said she was "broken" but he devoutly hoped she was wrong.

Giles removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. He couldn't remember a day when he didn't have a headache. Perhaps he should consult a physician. He had assumed it was due to stress, but he had been knocked unconscious an inordinate number of times. One more thing to add to his "To Do" list, but at present, Dawn was his primary concern.

The losses she had experienced in her short life were incalculable. He mentally tabulated them: First, and most damning, the loss of her identity, when she discovered that everything she believed about the world and her place in it was a lie. The losses continued unceasingly---her mother, her humanity (he hoped there was a very special hell for people like Ben, who did more than Glory ever could, to make Dawn feel like a 'thing' rather than a person), her sister, Tara, her trust in both Willow and Spike. . .

Giles felt a sharp stab of guilt for his own part in this. In retrospect, he should never have left. He knew that, now. He should have never abandoned Buffy when she needed him most, and he especially should not have abandoned Dawn. How could he not have realized that she, as much as Buffy, saw him as a father figure? It had honestly never occurred to him. He had thought he was helping a 21 year old girl to re-engage with life by forcing her to stand on her own. He had been very much in error---shirking of her responsibilities had never been one of Buffy's failures, and he should have seen that taking on the burden of saving the world, while being the bread-winner, homemaker and sole parent to a teenager was more than any one person should be expected to do, no matter how extraordinary that person is.

He wearily rubbed both temples. He was doing it again---focusing on Buffy when at this moment, his thoughts should be on Dawn. Perhaps he didn't really see Dawn as a complete person, an entity separate from Buffy, and thus did not realize the effect his loss would have on Dawn, herself. He would regret this for the rest of his life.

Dear, Lord, what inner strength that girl must possess, and why didn't he see it and nurture it? How on earth did she manage to make it through all that hell relatively unscathed? The girl was a bloody marvel! It took Spike's death to finally break her. None of them knew how close she and Spike had been. Not one of them saw or understood.

And now, out of the blue, Hank Summers wanted her back. The man had not been a part of her life for years---actually, technically he had never even met her! He was long gone by the time the monks created her; he may have memories of her growing up as his daughter, but they weren't valid. Hank was back in L.A. and in a stable relationship and he wanted Dawn to come live with him. As her 'legal' father, he did have certain rights, but what was best for Dawn? When he brought her to England with him, he had hoped that a change of scene might help, but she needed more than that.

Would a whole change of lifestyle help? Where she could be a normal girl, in a normal family, surrounded by people who didn't know about all the horrors lurking just out of sight and consciousness. . . would that 'normal' lifestyle save her or irrevocably damage her? If there was ever a time for prescience, this was the time. What was best for Dawn? Dear, Lord, he wished he knew . . .

Part 2---Los Angeles

Dawn disembarked at LAX feeling as numb in body as she did in mind and spirit. A trans-Atlantic flight will do that to you. It's nice that everything matches. she thought, dispiritedly. Good to be complete.

It had been a rough two years. She tried to be strong, she tried to be good, she did! It had been horrible right after Buffy died, but she had Spike to hang out with and take care of her. She always felt better when she was with Spike; he didn't have all these expectations for her that everyone else seemed to have. She could be cranky or rude or (might as well face it) downright pissy with Spike and he never made her feel like she had to apologize later. Although she usually did, because she wanted to---not because he expected it of her.

She could talk to Spike. She could also just sit and be quiet with him. Whatever she wanted to do, whatever mood she was in was alright with Spike. He was always there for her. She had thought he always would be. She had spent so much time this last year being mad at Spike for hurting Buffy. She thought back to her visitation---"Buffy won't choose you". Well, she had made sure she chose Buffy over Spike. Yet, Buffy, herself, seemed to have dealt with whatever happened between them. Buffy and Spike had worked things out, but now she and Spike would never get the chance. She just couldn't think about all this any more. She just couldn't do this! Dad and his girlfriend wouldn't understand. They didn't know about Sunnydale, about Buffy being the Slayer, about Spike, about anything real. Giles thought if she didn't have constant reminders of everything, she could go on and have a normal life. What was a normal life? Did any of them even know?

Giles said to give it six months. If things were really terrible after six months, he would do everything in his power to get her back. Well, she'd give it her best shot. Buffy wanted her to have a normal life, and whatever Buffy wanted, Spike wanted. Spike had done so much for her, she needed to do something for him. So, she'd try to have a normal life. . . for Spike.

Dawn looked up to see her father waving at her from the other side of the barrier. She pasted a smile on her face and went through the security checkpoint to give him a hug.

Part 3---Lakeview, outside of Los Angeles

The next two weeks passed in a blur for Dawn. The first order of business was registering for school at Lakeland (not Hemery, thank God). Her Dad had moved several times since they had last lived in LA. She was surprised to discover he now lived in an area that was pretty rural for being a suburb of LA. Lots of trees, houses hidden away, some of the people had houses that looked like log cabins, for God's sake!

I actually said 'For God's sake!' Dawn thought, Note to self: if I say 'dear, Lord' in public, smack me.

The gated community of Lakeview was sort of nice and beautiful---in a creepy Camp Crystal Lake kind of way. Oh, yeah, this was just what she needed. . . get rid of Caleb and with her luck, Jason'll turn up! Oh, she so did not need to go there!

Next came non-stop shopping, which was the cool part of having all your worldly possessions somewhere in the bottom of a giant crater. That pretty much guaranteed getting all new clothes, shoes, make-up, CDs, a stereo, computer. . . and she was actually allowed in every store in LA. How cool was that? And Linda didn't freak over belly tops, low-cut jeans and short skirts like her Dad did! Hank's initial attempt to take her shopping had been a spectacular failure. They both knew there could only be one possible outcome . . . abort the mission and turn all future endeavors over to co-pilot Linda.

Dawn was surprised to find she was actually enjoying herself. Linda seemed like a nice person. She was friendly, but not in that insincere "I just know you and I are going to be best friends because we both love your father so we have a lot in common" kind of way.

Dawn got the feeling Linda knew about things, things her dad refused to admit existed. Nothing was actually said, but one of the first stops on their shopping spree was to the jewelry department. Linda bought her both a small, tasteful gold cross on a gold chain, and a funky silver one on a leather cord, and made Dawn promise to wear one or the other at all times, especially if she went out at night.

"Not a problem," Dawn promised fervently, and added a box of those oversized #2 pencils they use to teach writing to little kids to the cart.

The day before school started, Linda took Dawn to a spa for a "Girl's Day Out" and she scored a hair trim, facial, manicure, leg waxing and pedicure. That was totally cool! Especially after spending the last few years sharing a razor with Buffy (not that Buffy knew about it!) doing her own nails, and having either Tara or Willow trim her hair. She could get used to this "normal girl" routine in a big way.

Part 4

Relaxing in her room before dinner, Dawn thought she'd start keeping a diary again. Her first day at school had gone pretty well, and a diary would help her remember what she wanted to tell Buffy, Willow, Giles, Xander, and Andrew when she wrote to them. Dinner was still a half hour away, so she might as well start now. "No time like the present", as her mom used to say. Selecting the purple-marbled composition book and the pen with green ink, Dawn began to write:

A New Dawn

Today was my first day at school as a normal girl. Lakeland High is okay. It's about the same size as Sunnydale (but hopefully, no Hellmouth). I was afraid I'd get stuck going to a really big school where I didn't know anybody and I wouldn't fit in. My teachers seem nice and the same principal has been there for twenty-five years. Principals not being eaten is definitely of the good. He seems like just a regular principal, too. Not a cool, demon-hunter principal like Robin Wood, but not an effing asshole like Snyder, either. At least, that's what Buffy always said about him. I'm taking Latin. It'll help when I do research and if I want to do any spells.

P.E. is cool. You have your choice of different classes you can take and I signed up for fencing. My fencing partner is totally cute. He's a SENIOR!!! He's nice, and he's smart. He's already gotten accepted to most of the colleges he did the early admission thing with. He doesn't know where he wants to go yet. He's never fenced before, but he's like a natural with the sword or what ever you call it. I think it's a foil. He's really graceful and he moves as good as Buffy does when she's training. He could totally get a part if they make another Matrix movie. And he is so much cuter and hotter than R.J. was! And, hey, he's not under a spell! I wish we had PE every day instead of only twice a week!

Thurs. Sept. 4, 2003

Dear Diary. . . That is so stupid, saying "Dear Diary". I can't call you "Diary". I think I'll call you---"Ralph". Ewww, no! I can't tell my innermost thoughts to someone named "Ralph"! I'm gonna go get a coke while I think about it! OK, I'm back!

Dear William,

School was good today. I'm meeting some nice kids. The popular kids (Buffy used to call them "Cordettes"---isn't that funny?) don't have anything to do with me, of course. But there's a whole bunch of kids that are nice and just sort of regular. Not creepy or geeky or anything. They seem to want to get to know me, but not in that heavy-pressure "new kid" kind of way. AND I got to see Connor again in PE, which is definitely of the good!! Gotta go help Linda with dinner. Talk to you later, William. I miss you.

Tues., Sept. 9

Dear William,

PE was awesome today. Connor and I really make a great team in fencing. If there are demons and stuff in LA (well, duh, I guess there must be cause Angel started a demon-fighting business down here). Anyway, if I ever get attacked by a demon, I'd want Connor to be around. He is so amazing. Oops, gotta go. Linda says I have a phone call. I miss you, William.

Thurs., Sept. 11

No PE today. There was a memorial remembrance assembly instead. I spent my time thinking about Amanda and Caridad, Chao-Ahn and the others. And Anya. And especially you. I'm sorry. I just can't write anymore right now.

Tues., Sept. 16

OK, I'm back. I saw Connor today and I think he likes me, too. He's pretty serious, but he has a really great smile. He has a younger sister who is really driving him nuts. I told him to cut her some slack. Hey, I was the younger sister, remember? The mini-sibs gotta stick up for each other! (And I still can't believe you actually called me "Bitty-Buffy"! That was harsh!) Talk to you later. Love ya.

Thurs., Sept. 18

Dear William,

Connor and I had a totally awesome fencing class today. The teacher, Mr. Pierson, said he can't believe how good we are together. He said we both have an "innate ability to anticipate the opponent's moves". Isn't that cool? I've trained some and I've watched you and Buffy for years, of course, but Connor says he can't remember ever even seeing a sword before. (In real life, that is, not in the movies.) I started teasing him and told him maybe it's genetic---maybe he inherited some latent sword-fighting skill from his father or something. He just laughed and said his father plays golf! We started joking around and getting really silly and he said maybe he was a prince from a far-off land and he had been kidnapped as a baby and given to this perfectly normal family to raise, and then I said maybe he was being hidden for his own protection---that his real father was a super-hero who fought injustice and then we both cracked up and it got so stupid and out of control we just couldn't go on anymore!

Connor says his family is so normal, they make the Camdens look deviant, but I could tell he really loves them and has a good relationship with both of his parents and even with his sister (well, most of the time, anyway!) I wonder what that would be like? To spend your whole life growing up in a perfectly stable family? Having two parents who love you and love each other, and not even knowing that vampires and demons and monsters exist? I'd never tell anyone but you, dear William, but sometimes I really envy Connor! All of his grandparents are still living!! He's never lost anyone he loves, but he doesn't come off as complacent---instead, he seems to be. . . grateful.

Tues., Sept 23

No school today. I had to go to the dentist and get two wisdom teeth out and I didn't get to see Connor. Linda just brought me up a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream for my dinner! My mouth hurts and I'm in a pissy mood, so I'll catch you later.

Thurs., Sept. 25

OMG, OMG, OMG!!! I can't believe it! Connor actually asked me out!! We're going to the movies and for pizza Sat. and he actually has his own jeep!! How cool is that? OMG, I don't have anything to wear!!

Tues., Sept. 30

Hey, William! I had a really fantastic time with Connor on Saturday. I figured we were just gonna go to a regular movie and then out for pizza, but he knows about this small, artsy movie theater that was built in the 20's and he says it's all done in "Art Deco" style. There are lots of high arches, kind of church-like, except they're all outlined in pink and blue neon. The chairs are red velvet and have arms carved like lion's paws. The walls are covered with murals of greeks and gods and grapes and stuff. I've never seen anything like it. And around the corner from the theater is this big, deserted hotel called the Hyperion. Connor says that there are rumors bad things happened there. (Da, da, da, dum---cue spooky organ music!) It looks like it would be a really cool place for a Halloween party. I wonder who owns it? Anyway, the Columbia (that's the name of the theater) shows independent films and foreign films and second-run regular movie festivals. We went to see LOTR double feature. They showed The Fellowship of the Ring, then an hour intermission, then they showed The Two Towers. We had double tickets so we got to see both shows. That's like 6 hours of movie!! We went out for pizza during the intermission, and he held my hand on the way back to the movie. He put his arm around me for the whole second movie. Oops, can't sit here any longer—I've got long-day-at-school butt-cramp! Guess I'll go work out for awhile.

Thurs., Oct. 2

I got an A on my Latin test! Ms. Ramirez says I have a flair for Latin. I said she should see what I can do with Ancient Sumerian! She gave that kind of cough-laugh teachers do when they totally don't get you! Connor and I are going out again this weekend. He said this time I get to pick, but I really don't know that much about LA. Maybe we'll go to the beach and hang out. I could bring a picnic lunch. Wait! Bad idea! PB&J sandwiches and grilled cheese are all I can make, and I usually end up burning the grilled cheese on at least one side! Maybe I can talk Linda into making a picnic lunch. The beach is nice this time of year.

Tues., Oct 7

We had a really great time at the beach. Linda made a great lunch and we walked for miles holding hands and looking for shells. And he kissed me goodbye when he drove me home!! It's the first real boy I've ever kissed! I kissed Xander on the cheek before, but that doesn't count and my first real kiss was with a vampire! Ick! (Oh, sorry, I forgot!) Anyway, Connor is a really good kisser. The kiss was really slow and gentle and his lips are so soft. Oh, I almost forgot. We saw Mr. Pierson practicing sword fighting on the beach! It was so cool! They stopped when they saw us, though, and his friend left. Mr. Pierson said Connor and I are really getting good. He said if we continue to work at it, he'll teach us to use rapiers and katanas and broadswords. Connor said he'd like to try the swords they used in Braveheart and Mr. Pierson laughed and said he wasn't any good with a claymore, but he had an old friend that was very familiar with them. I know I probably couldn't even lift a sword that was like six feet long, so Connor decided he'd pass on that for now. Well, it's late and I'd better get to bed. I really, really miss you!

Thurs., Oct. 9

Dear William,

Guess what? I am really happy! I never believed this happiness thing would happen to me. I haven't sulked or moped or whined in ages. Dad isn't around much---not like that's anything new---but that's just the way he is, and we get along OK. I really like Linda. She seems to care about me, but she doesn't push. I really hope she and Dad decide to get married sometime. I like school, I like my classes (especially Latin and fencing) and I like my teachers. Nothing has tried to kill me since I've been here and I'm pretty sure I'm falling in love with Connor. As long as the monks didn't do anything stupid that I don't know about when they made me, I think I'm going to be OK.

Thanks for still being here for me and letting me talk to you like this. I guess I realized that you're not really gone---you'll never be gone. You know that shiny, new soul you got? Well, I think you left a piece of it with me! And I can talk to you now in my head and don't need to write everything down, cause you'll always be a part of me. You were my big brother, my protector and my friend. I love you, Spike.

P. S.

Sat., Nov 1

Spike!! Why didn't you remind me about the "Xander jinx"? I can't believe I actually wrote "nothing has tried to kill me since I've been here"!! Connor and I went downtown today to buy our own swords so we can practice whenever we want to outside of school. We got these cool sling/holster things that you can use to carry them down your back under your coat. I am so glad we had them, too! We were walking through the parking garage on our way to Connor's Jeep, when these five big, scabby, smelly, icky green demons attacked us! Connor was wonderful! He didn't freak or anything!! Just started fighting them in that cool, Matrix-y way I told you about. He totally took one out and I was managing to hold my own with another one, when Angel came swooping down from the upper level like a big bat! He started fighting the other three demons, but when he looked over to see how we were doing with our guy, he went white as a sheet and I thought he was going to pass out!

(Can vampires faint? No circulation, right? So, lightheadedness probably not an issue. But that's how he looked, anyway. Like someone punched him in the gut and told him his puppy died all at the same time.) Connor beheaded our demon and Angel yelled "Connor! Dawn! Get out of here NOW!"

So we ran for the Jeep and took off while Angel was fighting the two last demons, and then the weirdest thing happened! I looked out the back window and I could swear I saw you there, fighting with Angel. (Well, not fighting with Angel---you and Angel fighting the demons together.)

Oh, BTW, do you need to use anything special to get demon goo off a brand new sword?

THE END