Kind of Funny
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, or Axel, or anything else pertaining to it. Only the little stories my mind makes up because I lack a life.
Axel thought it was kind of funny, in that cruel way Fate has of joking. Fate liked to play, and he kept losing. She kept making him look like a fool, like a lying, scheming hypocrite.
And the funniest part was, she was right.
He had been the Superior's little pet, ratting out and bringing down Marluxia and the others. He hadn't cared about them or what they were doing, but the Organization was all he had, and he couldn't afford to lose it just because he didn't feel like following orders. He hadn't understood why they had become rebels. All he knew was that they were traitors, and he hated traitors.
So it came as a shock to him when he realized, dragging Kairi by the wrist through the darkness, that a traitor was exactly what he'd become. He'd turned his back on the Organization and what they were doing. He'd abandoned them, turned against them the way the others had.
Fate had dealt a new hand for him.
He wasn't doing it for himself. He was doing it for Roxas, right? He tried to justify his actions like that, and it worked, for a while.
But then he saw that Roxas was unattainable. He knew that he could never get XIII back. He knew it as soon as he looked Sora.
So what? he thought.
So what if he had a new body – different hair, darker skin, a different face – he was still the same to Axel. Axel could see Roxas in the kid's eyes, Roxas' determination and wisdom. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but he thought he saw a flicker of recognition, too, if only for a moment. Axel knew that somewhere inside the Keyblade wielder was the boy who'd made him feel like a Somebody for a while.
He hated Sora for existing, for taking Roxas from him. He knew that wasn't just, but he couldn't help feeling that way. He didn't care if it was right or not.
So it surprised him again when he found himself disappearing into the darkness, feeling what was left of his nonexistent body spiderweb back to the shadows it was made of. He wasn't surprised that he was fading – but rather, by the fact that he had sacrificed himself for Sora, of all people. There he was, lying there dying, one of the traitors that he had so vehemently claimed he hated, with Sora – not Roxas – beside him. He made a few bitter jokes – something about not having a heart – and that was funny, too, because he felt like he did have a heart. And he felt bad about Kairi. Hadn't Xemnas always drilled it into his head that he couldn't feel, that anything he thought was mere imagination?
It did not make sense. It really didn't. Because he knew he was feeling something as Roxas – no, Sora – begged him not to disappear.
It wasn't Roxas, but it was good enough for Axel that he wasn't alone. Someone was with him, and that somebody felt good. Roxas had made him feel like pretending – maybe it wasn't pretending, he thought now – and so did Sora, for a moment. He didn't feel so hollow, and it was funny, because he wasn't supposed to feel anything.
Fate had turned him into a traitor and had made him care, really care. She had turned him against himself. She was the biggest jerk in the universe, but at least she'd made things work out, even if it was in a really twisted way.
But it was funny, because it was good enough for him.