Title: Behind the Golden Gates of Hetalia
Author: the Midnight Ghost
Rating: T for slight cussing and violence.
Characters: Vash(Switzerland), Feliciano(North Italy), Alfred(America), Lovino(South Italy), Antonio(Spain), three intruders, mentions of others.
Summary: There is a reason why Hetalia is the most safest, loosely guarded castle in all the world. The reason's name is Vash. Vash Zwingli.
AN: Eh, this is an AU story that popped one day and refused to let me go. Yes, I have finally jumped onto the Hetalia bandwagon(As evidenced by my favorites list).
I rather like this AU, so expect a few more stories and drabbles in this universe.
Thanks to: theScarlettWay for helping me research stuff during the times I had no internet and yeeeitscarmen for proofreading! It means alot to me~
Note: This story talks about nobles from the past. I am pretty sure none of them exist now, so just pretend that they live in a world where there are kings and queens in a modern setting. Also, no historical references were made to choose which country got which position. You have been warned.
Obligatory Disclaimer: (Seriously, does anyone still put these up?) I do not own the Hetalia characters, nor do I own Vash. Pity.
-o-
There is a reason why Hetalia is the most safest, loosely guarded castle in all the world.
Not because of the tough, intimidating earls and nobles and barons and baronesses that reside inside of the castle.
Not because of the rumored dungeons where caught trespassers are subjected to the most inhumane, twisted forms of torture.
Definitely not because of the self-proclaimed heroes and awesome idiots that run rampart around the old, elegant building.
It is because of one gatekeeper who takes his duties way too seriously. His name is Vash. Vash Zwingli.
Vash comes from a small village in Switzerland to earn money so he can send his sister Lilli on a visit to Liechtenstein, her home country. After angrily beating up one of the nobles(who had compared his beauty to the wintry Alps while copping a feel) he was and still is forced to work at the castle to pay for the man's medical bill. (The prince is all better now, but still jumps whenever Vash walks towards his direction.)
Not that he minds. Sure, the numerous people of different nationalities often cause cultural clashes, and whenever it's a certain lord's turn to cook the kitchen goes through World War III½ , and every other day there is always an epic food fight during dinner where afterwords Vash has to spend hours washing out all the food in his hair but- but now he's drifting off into space and we can't have the guard do that, can't we?
But Vash is proud to call Hetalia his home; it's a place where the homeless are welcome to stay during cold winter nights, it's a quiet sanctuary on hot summer days, it's strikingly beautiful when the dawn's morning rays hit it at that exact angle, and it's full of endless history and memories and good times.
Which is why nobody that isn't worthy to enter it's gate are kept in their place, outside the high walls.
"Vash! Vash! Mr. Vash!" A cheery voice calls out, snapping the gatekeeper out of his thoughts.
Barone Feliciano Vargas. Italian. Prone to running around naked and taking daily siestas at 3 PM sharp. Immediately return to Margave Ludwig Beilschmidt if found alone.
Feliciano is alone.
"What is it, Earl Vargas? Are you lost again? Or are you looking for the Margave? I last saw him around the eastern gardens," Vash states, voice sharp and demanding.
"Ve~ I know where Luddy is~ He's in the kitchen helping me make pasta!" The Barone smiles, and Vash swears he sees flowers floating around him.
"Then what do you need?" He barks, "... Sir." He adds after he remembers the fact that even though in front of him was a smiling idiot, he was still of higher rank than he was.
"Ve, didn't I tell you to call me Feliciano? And you don't have to call me sir," Feliciano says, a frown working its way onto the man's face.
"... F-Feliciano..." Vash chokes out, eye twitching, "What do you want? I am rather busy right now." Guarding a castle and its gates is very difficult to do, no matter what intimidating Russian tzars say.
"Hmm~ Oh! I need you to tell Romano that Antonio is looking for him! He said that, um," The Barone thinks, eyes furrowed in actual concentration. Vash resists the urge to take a picture of the momentous sight.
"Um... Oh yeah, that he was going to go out later and if he wanted anything from town!" Feliciano smiles, finally remembering what the Spanish Infante said.
Vash nods, committing the words to memory, "I'll be sure to pass on the message."
The Barone's smile brightens even more, if that's possible. "Great! When you're not busy later come by the kitchens! Me and Ludwig will give you some pasta to eat!" And with that the childish man runs off with a wave, back to the kitchens and the German marquess.
Vash smiles a little. The Barone is someone that Lilli would probably get along well with, as he wasn't loud or brash or arrogant like-
"Hey Vash! It is I, the awesome Gilbert!" -Like Gilbert, the Prussian(whatever that was) Herzog.
With a sigh the gatekeeper turns, glaring at the albino.
"What do you want." Gilbert smirks and whips out a piece of paper with flourish.
"I have made an awesome list about all the awesome things that make me awesomer than the rest of the non-awesome people here. Which is awesome," The Herzog drawls, emphasizing each and every 'awesome' he says.
Vash resists the overwhelming urge to throw his gun at the taller man's face, and settles with the image of forever banning the a-word from Hetalia's grounds and a weeping Herzog at his feet.
"Vash? Zwingli? Unawesome gatekeeper?" Gilbert calls, waving his hand in front of the short man's face.
Vash scowls and the hand quickly disappears.
"Yeah, yeah, you want me to hang it up on the gate, right? Give it here." Vash snatches the paper, skimming the list.
REASONS WHY GILBERT IS AWESOMER THAN YOU:
1. He is a Herzog, aka TOTALLY AWESOME Duke, which means he is probably of higher rank than you.
2. He has an awesome army of Gilbirds, which can peck you to death.
3. He is dashingly handsome, with his silky, pure white hair, sexy/awesome/badass red eyes, and creamy pale skin not to mention his FIVE METERS!...
The reasons go all the up to number 69(which speaks of his five meters again), all filled out in the most illegible hand-writing ever.
"Awesome! You go do that, while I go and bother Roddy!" Gilbert turns on his heel and walks briskly towards the east wing of Hetalia, carrying out his said words.
Vash shakes his head and stuffs the list in his pocket. He may not particularly like the Archduke, but whatever Gilbert is going to do to Roderich is probably going to be a mix of humiliation and sexual assault, and no one deserves that.
He starts walking around the wall encompassing Hetalia, while also searching for the South Italian Barone (he never really understood why there were two Italian barons at Hetalia but the older one is a rumored Mafioso so he just shrugs and plays along) when he senses something following him...
"Hey, Vash, I was wondering- OH GOD DON'T SHOOT!" The gatekeeper blinks before lowering his beloved rifle.
"Mr. Jones." And lo and behold, said Viceroy is cowering before the smaller blond.
"Oh, hm?" Alfred opens his eyes and instead of looking down the cold barrel of a gun he sees a rather amused guard.
"Jeez, you almost gave me a heart attack there!" The American laughs.
Wouldn't be surprised, with all the hamburgers you eat. Vash rolls his eyes as Alfred continues laughing loudly.
"Well?" Vash asks as soon as the laughter subsides.
"So, yeah, I was wondering if you were going to attend the after-dinner party tonight! You know, for my birthday?" Vash frowns a little and checks his internal calendar.
Yep, today was July 4th, the American's birthday. No wonder the Grand Prince was so grumpy during breakfast.
"Please?" The smaller blond snaps back into reality and looks straight into the Viceroy's blue eyes, which were giving him one of the most heart-breaking puppy-dog eye looks ever. (The most heart-breaking coming from Korean Wangja-Gun Young-Soo.)
Apparently Alfred thought that the gatekeeper's silence was a refusal to attend his Totally Cool Birthday Bash!(TCBB!) and thus he needed to convince the Swiss man to go.
"Alright, I will, just stop it with the eyes," Vash says after two seconds of staring at the puppy eyes from hell and the (grown) man cheers.
"Great! Don't forget the present!" And with a wink Alfred's gone.
With a sigh Vash continues his rounds around the walls, glaring at small forest critters and annoying brats alike. He finds the South Italian Barone on his third time around the castle, cussing out Antonio.
"I'll take it he told you about his trip?" He says, interrupting a particularly violent rant including the Infante's vital regions and a very, very sharp butcher knife.
"What-? OH H-hi V-Vash!" Lovino cries, hiding behind the Infante.
"Si, amigo! Thank you for delivering the message though!" Antonio says, a cheery smile on his face.
Vash nods, about to leave when he remembers Alfred's party.
"Actually, Carriedo, can you get me something from town too?" The Spaniard nods, and behind him Lovino hisses something that sounds suspiciously like
"Fucking Antonello, hurry up and get my tomatoes!"
The rest of the afternoon passes by quietly, as normal as Hetalia would allow.
Dinner didn't turn into the normal battlefield as Alfred was staring and smiling just like Tzar Ivan does at the smallest sign of trouble breaking out.
At last the dishes was collected by the various maids and butlers, the tables shoved and stacked at one side of the vast dining room, and from some mysterious corner music started playing.
The birthday boy is smiling widely, flitting around everywhere like one of Arthur's elusive fairies, talking with every noble, servant, and guard.
When the Grand Prince Arthur finally was finally coaxed into joining, the first thing the Viceroy does is plant a kiss on his cheek before something else catches his eye and he walks away, leaving behind a blushing Englishman and a camera-happy Princess Elizabeta.
Vash leans against a table, idly sipping punch and surveying the room.
This is not a huge waste of time he thinks, even as Gilbert and Francis announces the beginning of a large drinking contest and half the guards that are supposed to be on duty join. After all, Alfred had been kind enough to invite every single person residing in the castle, which includes all the maids, butlers, cooks, stablehands, gardeners, librarians, guards, and of course, him. The gatekeeper.
But in the end, according to Murphy's law anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
At around 11, when Francis already has slipped out of his shirt and even Gupta is a bit tipsy, there was a small shattering noise. Not loud enough to attract the attention of everyone at the party, just loud enough so a few people blink and turn at the sound, dismissing it as a drunk couple getting their freak on.
Vash put his drink down and narrows his eyes. No one has left the party yet.
"Hey Vash!" Said gatekeeper curses before turning around to see the Viceroy waving him over.
"Yes, Mr. Jones?" He says politely, mind already sketching out the various possibilities the noise could be.
"Now, now, no need for formalities! Otherwise Francis would be keeping his pants on, am I right?" Vash turns around and true to Alfred's word, Prince Francis is stripping down to his undergarments. His eye twitches and he reaches for his gun...
… Which was taken away by the Head Maid Mei on the grounds that "I won't have you ruin the Viceroy's birthday! We all need this break!"
"So, how's the party?" Alfred says, rocking back and forth on his feet.
"Here." Vash doesn't even pretend to play along with the American's stalling-before-subtly-asking-for-my-gift talk and hands him a long, thin box.
"Ooh! Thank you Vash!" He cries, giving him a one-hand hug, the other arm struggling to open the box.
Vash tries to sneak away while the Viceroy rips the present open to no avail.
"Cool! A new baseball bat!" He cries, swinging it around. "How did you know I wanted one?"
"Er, I heard it somewhere," Vash mutters, inching towards the door. Honestly, you were complaining so much when Gilbert broke your last one it was kind of hard not to notice that you wanted a new one.
"Hey, is that Arthur over there calling you?" He says, cutting into Alfred's chatter about baseball.
"Hm? Oh yeah, I have to get my present from Artie! Thanks a lot, Vash!" The American runs over to the Grand Prince, who is sadly empty handed.
Vash feels only a twinge of guilt of what's he's unleashed at the English man and slips out, grabbing his trusty shotgun from the pot Mei hid it in.
Walking down the empty halls he looks around, squinting at every shadow he sees.
Once he's out of Hetalia's grasps the first thing he sees is a rope hanging over the wall and a shattered potted plant. Roughly erased footmarks lead towards another entrance to the castle, and abruptly stop, as if the intruder had heard something coming...
"Show yourself!" Vash calls, eyes sweeping the damage. His only response is a giggle, girly and unsettling. He scowls, moving his shotgun into position.
"So... All the nobles lazing about inside leave just one guard to take care of them... You poor thing," A high-pitched voice calls, from around the castle and behind Vash. He swears in German, turning around, gun ready to blow lead into the offender.
"My, my. Aren't you a cute one? Why would they leave someone as adorable as you out of the festivities?" A girl stands in front of the door, a polite smile on her face. She's taller than he is, much taller, with long blond hair and a crowbar in her hands. She looks frail, as if she was also a noble herself, so Vash falters for a split-second; maybe she's Francis' date for the night, or maybe she is Ivan's cousin.
The strange girl leaps on that hesitation, swinging the crowbar down with enough force to crack his skull. All traces of uncertainty vanish, he side-steps and shoot thrice in her direction, getting her left shoulder and knee, the third one bouncing of her crowbar.
The intruder hisses in pain before throwing the jimmy at Vash. While he ducks to avoid getting hit the girl turns and runs inside rather quickly for someone that has a busted knee.
"Verdammt!" The gatekeeper swears before giving chase.
The intruder knows her way around the castle, going trough secret passages and trick doors that only the servants know about, all leading to the treasure room(Only God knows why Hetalia even has a treasure room.)
He finally corners her one corridor away from the elusive treasury, the girl's knee finally giving away.
"How many of you are there?" He growls, keeping the gun up to remind exactly who has the power here.
The girl smiles and says, "Есть много из нас, обладающий острым зрением один."
Shit, he scowls. Russian.
"Вы очень острые. Я расскажу вам, Есть более чем один здесь сегодня вечером, но не более три," She continues, smug smile growing.
He's about to curse so violently Arthur would be put to shame when a word catches his attention. Один. Три.
Vash racks his brain for the memory of those words, and briefly remembers the Tzar bullying Raivis, seeing how long he could hold his breath for... He shudders slightly at the thought.
No, focus, he scolds himself. Let's see... один is one... there was a number before tри, so that must've been two... so tри should be three. Three? One? Wait... Does this mean there are three people in the castle? She could be the 'one' that she was talking about... Wait.
"Shit!" He cries, and swiftly hits the back of the girl's neck. She leans into him, unconscious.
Vash contemplates leaving her there, but if one of the nobles got out and wandered... No, he has to take her with him.
He runs as quickly as he can towards the dining room, eyes tracing every familiar object, looking for foreign enemies.
"Anastasia!" A rough voice calls from behind him, and Vash ducks, avoiding the axe that buries itself deep into the wall in front of him.
He turns quickly, dropping the girl and shoots, getting the man on his right shoulder. While the stranger recoils in pain Vash sends another round, clipping the man's temple. He crumbles to the ground, unconscious.
Without sparing a second glance Vash runs after the third intruder, leaving the two fallen where they lay.
He hears the music before he sees the last man. The party is in full swing, and a drunk Danish count has probably taken over the music player.
The last man is humming as he approaches the door, a sniper rifle strapped to his back. Normally Vash would take a minute to appreciate the machine and it's shiny parts, but this man was not going to use that rifle for anything.
Just as he reaches for the door Vash clears his throat, announcing his presence.
The man turns, startled a bit, and with that Vash shoots, hitting his side. The other man swiftly reaches for his gun and shoots, three silent bullets.
The gatekeepers weaves through them, getting close enough to strike the man upon his head with the butt of his shotgun, knocking him out.
Vash only has a second to revel in his grim victory when the music stops playing from inside the dining room.
Right. We're standing next to the party.
Vash runs over to grab the man, drags him behind a corner, and frantically wipes away the blood on the floor with his jacket.
"Vash? What's going on?" Elizabeta asks cautiously, sticking her head out the door.
"Er, I, uh, saw something move outside. You know. No such thing as being too safe." He glances at the floor and catches a spot of blood he missed. Vash casually steps forward, covering it with his foot.
The Princess looks at him suspiciously before nodding and cracking a smile.
"Alright. Continue doing your job then, gatekeeper!" She chirps before closing the door again.
The Swiss man sighs before running a hand through his hair. Thank god he had a reputation as a over paranoid guard. Thank the heavens none of them found out about the intruders that managed to get in, even though he was the gatekeeper, the barrier shielding them from evil outside forces.
Nope, he would not let anyone hurt Hetalia and it's clueless, idiotic, helplessly silly inhabitants.
He watches. He guards. He destroys. He is Vash Zwingli, Hetalia's only Gatekeeper.
Translations-
Margave- German for Marquess
Barone- Italian for Baron
Wangja-Gun- Korean term meaning Prince of the Blood
Infante- Spainsh term meaning Prince
Antonello- Italian for Antonio
Verdammt- Damn
Есть много из нас, обладающий острым зрением один- There are many of us, sharp-eyed one.
Вы очень острые. Я расскажу вам, Есть более чем один здесь сегодня вечером, но не более три- You are very sharp. I will tell you, there are more than one here tonight, but no more than three.
Один- One
три- Three
Feel free to point out any errors in spelling, grammar, and translation! I might post a list with all the countries respective positions later so look out for that!
Eh, in the end the story turned out so serious... OTL
Feedback is awesome!