ColdFinger
By 00bob
CHAPTER 1- "What in the world do I have to be here for?" Thought 003 as he watched the scientist extract his formula. The time was 7:30 AM, on a quiet Sunday morning. He had been invited to a showing of a new formula, invented by the famed scientist Dr. Nochturn. M had insisted that he go, more to get him out of her hair than anything. As he stood in a sewer somewhere in New York, Nochturn explained the use of his formula.
"This concoction will prevent all forms of freezing, including the ability to heal frostbite. It has been concocted through using a seeped-up suntan lotion, hot water, and some other various ingredients. This potion will also perhaps have the possibilities of making it more bearable to live in a place such as Antarctica, as it could melt the ice into land. I will now present it by de-freezing the ice chunk that has stopped the flow of water in this sewer."
As 003 stood there, watching the scientist pour the mixture on the frozen tank, he noticed, in a flash of black, what was unmistakably a gun, held in the hands of a hooded person wearing a brown robe. Before he could react, the gun was fired at Dr. Nochturn. The bullet hit straight in the neck, and Dr. Nochturn fell over, most likely dead.
The tiny walls of the sewer were suddenly shaken under the noise of the pandemonium. 003 hurried after the assassin, who was attempting to get away via a hole he had blown in the sewer wall. 003 fired at his leg, causing the assassin to fall down to a lower level of the sewer. 003 jumped down and chased him on foot, using his opponent's injured leg to his advantage. They rounded a corner and came upon a set of super-speed hi tech tramcars, used in the sewer when an escape had to be quickly made due to deadly gas. Both got into a tramcar, and began zooming through the sewer. Left, right, left, and suddenly, there was a dead end. 003 smiled, knowing he had won. But smiles can be turned upside down, and the assassin crashed through the wall, coming to a subway station.
He rode up the escalator, and 003 refused to give up on the chase even with the speed bumps. They got out of the subway, and came upon a river. The assassin got out of the car, and raised his hands into the air, preparing to jump to his death.
"WAIT!" Shouted 003. "Tell me who you work for. Who wanted you to kill Dr. Nochturn?"
"I can't tell you. It's for your own good." His voice was shaking. "He's too smart. You can't beat him. Stay out of it!" And with that, he jumped into the river. 003 watched him sink to the bottom, finally hitting his head on a rock. All left now was his reflection, swirling in the water....
CHAPTER 2-
Strolling into the MI6 office, 003 glanced over at the torn hole in the wall, still under construction after 007 had gone mad and crashed through the wall in a crazed anger at MI6. 003 was now the new best agent at MI6, and he was being reassigned to 007's old mission.
"Howdy M. So, what does it all mean?" He asked his briefer.
"We really have not much of an idea, which is why you are to investigate. Obviously, whoever sent that assassin, who we now have identified to be a Mr. Joshua Bing, didn't want that cold cure to work, as Dr. Nochturn was the only one who knew the formula. Joshua Bing was last seen going into the Pepsi Cola manufacturing building, so I want you to start off there. Go straight to Q and he will give you a few items that will assist you."
So, 003 walked down to Q branch to find a fish tank housing a medium- sized trout. Suddenly, the trout opened his mouth and a missile fired out. 003 began poking the fish to see how it happened.
"When you're done baiting one of my newest inventions, I am hoping to instruct you in the form of your field equipment," the voice of Q muttered.
"Oh, sorry Q. Just looked a tad fishy to me."
"This way please." Q proceeded to take 003 to his new car, a Volkswagen Beetle with the ability to turn into a beetle in order to climb up tall structures. Then, Q showed 003 a new suit. "This suit has impulse reactor mechanisms inside of it, and, when activated, you will eject out of the jacket part of your suit and into the air, good for a quick getaway. Please try to return something, as it gets tiring to make new items EVERY time."
With that, 003 strolled out of the office, and into his car. He started it, took a right, and headed for the Pepsi factory.
CHAPTER 3-
The smell of Pepsi was enough to make mouth water. Unfortunately, 003 was on a mission and had no time for watering. As he entered the factory, a receptionist met him.
"Got word you were coming 003. Er.what is your name anyway?"
"The name's Bob, Billy Bob."
"Well hello Mr. Bob. So, what brings you here?"
At this point they were interrupted by another person, who asked him if he wanted a drink.
"A Pepsi, I suppose. Stirred, not shaken. Man, a shaken Pepsi would just make me explode. Anyway, I was wondering what you knew about a Mr. Joshua Bing?"
"Mr. Bing came into this office a few days ago to talk to our boss, Mr. Coldfinger. I have no idea what they talked about, but Mr. Bing never came back."
"May I speak to Coldfinger?" Asked Bob.
"Sorry, but he left with Mr.Bing, and has yet to return. Shall I call you when he does?"
"I doubt that will be necessary." Said Bob, doing some thinking in his head. Hmm, he thought, ColdFinger must have left to see that Mr. Bing succeeded, then gone into hiding when he saw that an MI6 agent had caught him and would start be investigating. How in the world will I find him now, thought 003, with no leads?
With that, Billy Bob walked out of the factory without getting his Pepsi..
CHAPTER 4-
003 got into his Volkswagen Beetle, and proceeded to drive down Main Street, completely lost in thought. Hopefully this ColdFinger dude is going to wait a few days before doing whatever he plans, because Bob was stumped. 003 was so lost in thought that at first, he didn't notice the gunshots.
Fortunately, the rearview window of his car shattered, and that woke him up. He looked in the mirror to see who was shooting, and to his astonishment, it was James Bond 007 himself.
"Not even a vodka martini could get me out of this one," Thought Bob, knowing of 007's reputation for being extremely deadly. Bob had a chance to get out of the line of fire, but thought better of it. After all, this could be his only lead, if his hunch that Bond was working for ColdFinger was correct.
He swerved into an alley, and began using the bug feature on his car to climb the building up to the rooftop. 007 stared, and then got out of his car and began climbing the fire escape to chase after 003. Bob got there first and got ready. He jumped the fire escape and landed beside Bond. He knocked 007 down and to the ground. Grunting, James got up, only to be hit in the face by 003. Billy Bob grabbed Bond's gun and pointed it at the old agent's face.
"What are ColdFinger's plans? TELL ME!"
"Alright, alright.. (Cough) ColdFinger has a satellite in space, with the power to fire a beam of a freezing nitrogen mixture. It will go straight through the surface of Earth to the core. He plans to revert this whole world into a new Ice Age, in order to sell his new product, a super- warm coat, which nobody has bought due to it being too hot, even when it's below freezing outside."
"TAKE me to him. NOW! UP!"
CHAPTER 5-
Billy Bob was now standing in front of what looked to be a Greek Temple made out of red brick. It was in the shape of a big icicle.
Having finished with 007, Bob conked him on the head to knock him out, and went inside. The inside looked more like an icicle than the outside. It was very cold, and the walls seemed to be made of ice. Upon further inspection, though, they were revealed to be made of stone.
003 walked up a flight of stairs to find a group of men settled around a giant computer.
"Satellite in position. Ready to fire beam Mr. ColdFinger"
003 aimed his gun. Looking through, he decided to fire not at ColdFinger, but at the man who seemed to be working the computer. His one shot rang out through the stone walls, and all attention was now on him.
"Kill him!" Yelled ColdFinger.
Bob ran down the flight of stairs and out the door, firing rapidly behind him. He heard screams, but none were those of ColdFinger. He ran the other way from which he came, and found himself by the edge of a cliff. An airplane soared above him. ColdFinger beared down on him, and shot 003's gun straight out of his hand and into the air.
"Now, I have you. You may have delayed the process, as I don't exactly know how to work the satellite, but I can find somebody else." Said ColdFinger.
003 had an idea. Using his ejector suit, he shot into the air, caught the gun, and grabbed onto the wing of the airplane. He shot down and hit ColdFinger squarely in the head.
"Kinda freezes your insides when someone goes all cold like that," Said a voice above him.
In the plane was 007.
CHAPTER 6-
Bond pulled 003 into the plane and put the gun to his head.
"You've killed my master and ruined his plan, but it is I who will have the last laugh." Boasted 007.
"James, what good will it do?"
Bond thought for a minute, and reconsidered his options. "You could just re- join MI6. You're a fine agent." Suggested Bob.
"I have a better idea. I've only made a mess of things. I think it's time I reached Another Day, and finally Died." With that, 007 jumped out of the plane.
THE END
CHAPTER 1- "What in the world do I have to be here for?" Thought 003 as he watched the scientist extract his formula. The time was 7:30 AM, on a quiet Sunday morning. He had been invited to a showing of a new formula, invented by the famed scientist Dr. Nochturn. M had insisted that he go, more to get him out of her hair than anything. As he stood in a sewer somewhere in New York, Nochturn explained the use of his formula.
"This concoction will prevent all forms of freezing, including the ability to heal frostbite. It has been concocted through using a seeped-up suntan lotion, hot water, and some other various ingredients. This potion will also perhaps have the possibilities of making it more bearable to live in a place such as Antarctica, as it could melt the ice into land. I will now present it by de-freezing the ice chunk that has stopped the flow of water in this sewer."
As 003 stood there, watching the scientist pour the mixture on the frozen tank, he noticed, in a flash of black, what was unmistakably a gun, held in the hands of a hooded person wearing a brown robe. Before he could react, the gun was fired at Dr. Nochturn. The bullet hit straight in the neck, and Dr. Nochturn fell over, most likely dead.
The tiny walls of the sewer were suddenly shaken under the noise of the pandemonium. 003 hurried after the assassin, who was attempting to get away via a hole he had blown in the sewer wall. 003 fired at his leg, causing the assassin to fall down to a lower level of the sewer. 003 jumped down and chased him on foot, using his opponent's injured leg to his advantage. They rounded a corner and came upon a set of super-speed hi tech tramcars, used in the sewer when an escape had to be quickly made due to deadly gas. Both got into a tramcar, and began zooming through the sewer. Left, right, left, and suddenly, there was a dead end. 003 smiled, knowing he had won. But smiles can be turned upside down, and the assassin crashed through the wall, coming to a subway station.
He rode up the escalator, and 003 refused to give up on the chase even with the speed bumps. They got out of the subway, and came upon a river. The assassin got out of the car, and raised his hands into the air, preparing to jump to his death.
"WAIT!" Shouted 003. "Tell me who you work for. Who wanted you to kill Dr. Nochturn?"
"I can't tell you. It's for your own good." His voice was shaking. "He's too smart. You can't beat him. Stay out of it!" And with that, he jumped into the river. 003 watched him sink to the bottom, finally hitting his head on a rock. All left now was his reflection, swirling in the water....
CHAPTER 2-
Strolling into the MI6 office, 003 glanced over at the torn hole in the wall, still under construction after 007 had gone mad and crashed through the wall in a crazed anger at MI6. 003 was now the new best agent at MI6, and he was being reassigned to 007's old mission.
"Howdy M. So, what does it all mean?" He asked his briefer.
"We really have not much of an idea, which is why you are to investigate. Obviously, whoever sent that assassin, who we now have identified to be a Mr. Joshua Bing, didn't want that cold cure to work, as Dr. Nochturn was the only one who knew the formula. Joshua Bing was last seen going into the Pepsi Cola manufacturing building, so I want you to start off there. Go straight to Q and he will give you a few items that will assist you."
So, 003 walked down to Q branch to find a fish tank housing a medium- sized trout. Suddenly, the trout opened his mouth and a missile fired out. 003 began poking the fish to see how it happened.
"When you're done baiting one of my newest inventions, I am hoping to instruct you in the form of your field equipment," the voice of Q muttered.
"Oh, sorry Q. Just looked a tad fishy to me."
"This way please." Q proceeded to take 003 to his new car, a Volkswagen Beetle with the ability to turn into a beetle in order to climb up tall structures. Then, Q showed 003 a new suit. "This suit has impulse reactor mechanisms inside of it, and, when activated, you will eject out of the jacket part of your suit and into the air, good for a quick getaway. Please try to return something, as it gets tiring to make new items EVERY time."
With that, 003 strolled out of the office, and into his car. He started it, took a right, and headed for the Pepsi factory.
CHAPTER 3-
The smell of Pepsi was enough to make mouth water. Unfortunately, 003 was on a mission and had no time for watering. As he entered the factory, a receptionist met him.
"Got word you were coming 003. Er.what is your name anyway?"
"The name's Bob, Billy Bob."
"Well hello Mr. Bob. So, what brings you here?"
At this point they were interrupted by another person, who asked him if he wanted a drink.
"A Pepsi, I suppose. Stirred, not shaken. Man, a shaken Pepsi would just make me explode. Anyway, I was wondering what you knew about a Mr. Joshua Bing?"
"Mr. Bing came into this office a few days ago to talk to our boss, Mr. Coldfinger. I have no idea what they talked about, but Mr. Bing never came back."
"May I speak to Coldfinger?" Asked Bob.
"Sorry, but he left with Mr.Bing, and has yet to return. Shall I call you when he does?"
"I doubt that will be necessary." Said Bob, doing some thinking in his head. Hmm, he thought, ColdFinger must have left to see that Mr. Bing succeeded, then gone into hiding when he saw that an MI6 agent had caught him and would start be investigating. How in the world will I find him now, thought 003, with no leads?
With that, Billy Bob walked out of the factory without getting his Pepsi..
CHAPTER 4-
003 got into his Volkswagen Beetle, and proceeded to drive down Main Street, completely lost in thought. Hopefully this ColdFinger dude is going to wait a few days before doing whatever he plans, because Bob was stumped. 003 was so lost in thought that at first, he didn't notice the gunshots.
Fortunately, the rearview window of his car shattered, and that woke him up. He looked in the mirror to see who was shooting, and to his astonishment, it was James Bond 007 himself.
"Not even a vodka martini could get me out of this one," Thought Bob, knowing of 007's reputation for being extremely deadly. Bob had a chance to get out of the line of fire, but thought better of it. After all, this could be his only lead, if his hunch that Bond was working for ColdFinger was correct.
He swerved into an alley, and began using the bug feature on his car to climb the building up to the rooftop. 007 stared, and then got out of his car and began climbing the fire escape to chase after 003. Bob got there first and got ready. He jumped the fire escape and landed beside Bond. He knocked 007 down and to the ground. Grunting, James got up, only to be hit in the face by 003. Billy Bob grabbed Bond's gun and pointed it at the old agent's face.
"What are ColdFinger's plans? TELL ME!"
"Alright, alright.. (Cough) ColdFinger has a satellite in space, with the power to fire a beam of a freezing nitrogen mixture. It will go straight through the surface of Earth to the core. He plans to revert this whole world into a new Ice Age, in order to sell his new product, a super- warm coat, which nobody has bought due to it being too hot, even when it's below freezing outside."
"TAKE me to him. NOW! UP!"
CHAPTER 5-
Billy Bob was now standing in front of what looked to be a Greek Temple made out of red brick. It was in the shape of a big icicle.
Having finished with 007, Bob conked him on the head to knock him out, and went inside. The inside looked more like an icicle than the outside. It was very cold, and the walls seemed to be made of ice. Upon further inspection, though, they were revealed to be made of stone.
003 walked up a flight of stairs to find a group of men settled around a giant computer.
"Satellite in position. Ready to fire beam Mr. ColdFinger"
003 aimed his gun. Looking through, he decided to fire not at ColdFinger, but at the man who seemed to be working the computer. His one shot rang out through the stone walls, and all attention was now on him.
"Kill him!" Yelled ColdFinger.
Bob ran down the flight of stairs and out the door, firing rapidly behind him. He heard screams, but none were those of ColdFinger. He ran the other way from which he came, and found himself by the edge of a cliff. An airplane soared above him. ColdFinger beared down on him, and shot 003's gun straight out of his hand and into the air.
"Now, I have you. You may have delayed the process, as I don't exactly know how to work the satellite, but I can find somebody else." Said ColdFinger.
003 had an idea. Using his ejector suit, he shot into the air, caught the gun, and grabbed onto the wing of the airplane. He shot down and hit ColdFinger squarely in the head.
"Kinda freezes your insides when someone goes all cold like that," Said a voice above him.
In the plane was 007.
CHAPTER 6-
Bond pulled 003 into the plane and put the gun to his head.
"You've killed my master and ruined his plan, but it is I who will have the last laugh." Boasted 007.
"James, what good will it do?"
Bond thought for a minute, and reconsidered his options. "You could just re- join MI6. You're a fine agent." Suggested Bob.
"I have a better idea. I've only made a mess of things. I think it's time I reached Another Day, and finally Died." With that, 007 jumped out of the plane.
THE END