Disclaimer: I own nothing except Drake and the crowd, but you may have the crowd if you like. Truthfully, they're starting to get on my nerves.

This is my first fan fiction, so please, be gentle and kind if that is your way. If that is not your way, then just TRY to be nice.

I give special thanks to lucifersheart and Poision Ivy and Sweet Jasmine who helped me very much into finally getting this up. I'm not going into specifics.

Chapter 1

"Drink! Drink!" came the chant from inside the bar. Wulfgar looked down at his half filled mug. Were there two mugs or three? He shook his head. Just as he was about to pick one of the mugs, everyone stopped. Dead silence. He looked around. What happened?

"Wulfgar! How could you?" came a shrilly voice from the top of the stairs. "And on our honeymoon? What were you thinking? Or better yet, what were I thinking when I married you? You must be the most miserable scum of the earth. I'm leaving you! And don't even think about coming after me. I'm gone barbarian boy!" Honeymoon? Barbarian boy? What was this woman talking about? Oh, wait! Now I remember, thought Wulfgar. Cattie Brie. His dearly beloved wife since a couple days ago. But those were Bruenor's words. And was that Bruenor's voice? Was it coming from right next to him?

"Forget the lass! Drink, because Drizzt says ye can't take three more!"

"All right!" he grabbed the mug and chugged down the contents. "Next one!" he called. Wait. What's going on, he thought as he fell to the floor. Just before he blacked out, he told himself he needed to stop drinking.

"Stupid son can't even hold his drink."

"You better give me the money now." Bruenor grumbled as he pulled out some coins and handed them to Drizzt.

"Stupid son. Stupid drow. Hey, where's me girl?"

Wulfgar got up all of a sudden. "Cattie Brie! Cattie Brie!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. "Where oh where has my Cattie Brie gone? No!" He collapsed sobbing and rocking back and forth.

"There, there Wulfgar. You'll be fine. She'll come back once she's cooled down a bit." Drizzt tried to console the crazed barbarian.

"I'm back! With a new boyfriend! One that treats me proper!" Cattie Brie waltzed in to the bar with a handsome man with one arm around his waist. "I've replaced you. It didn't even take very long." She looked at Wulfgar scornfully.

Why couldn't she have replaced Wulfgar with me, thought Drizzt. Quite forlornly at that. Ow. My heart hurts. He rubbed his chest.

"Something wrong there elf? Looks like your heart hurts."

"Don't be ridiculous!" he looked around the room. "Um, uh… why don't we get another drink?" Nice change of subject!

"Oh Drake! You're so funny!" Cattie Brie stroked this fellow Drake's chest. She giggled, and then jumped on top of him, both kissing each other furiously. This only made Wulfgar sob harder and Drizzt's heart hurt more. Bruenor didn't care much.

"Rumblebelly! Get me somethin' to drink!"

"Get it you're self you stupid dwarf!"

"What? Retaliation from you?" Bruenor guffawed. "I'm serious. And thirsty. Get to it!"

"No!" he jumped on top of Bruenor and pulled out his mace. "I'm not the bar maid!" he shouted. He then whacked Bruenor a good couple times on his head until Bruenor bit his arm. "Aaaarrgh!" Bruenor's fist shot out and broke the halfling's nose. Regis rolled over unconscious. "Stupid Rumblebelly." He muttered. "I'm THIRSTY! Son of a goblin, what's it take to get a drink?"

The paramedics came and took Regis away. Then Drake got off of Cattie Brie, put his shirt back on, and shouted,

"Karaoke time!" A cheer came from the crowd.