Written: April 4, 2006
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Envy is
The jealousy without the want.
The pain without the provocation.
And the problem with this was that, plain and simple, Greed existed, and he was too much of what Envy was and yet was not – his desires, however bottomless, would lend him pleasure in small doses. What Greed thought about this, none but his closest inner circle may know. But Envy is
Greed that is never satisfied. He wants it to not belong to thembut he does not actually desire it, himself. Because he can take anything and everything whenever he chooses.
Oh, he could have thrashed and screamed and beat himself against the spiked walls of his unchangeable fate, but his 'immortal' shell would never yield. So, this aggression, this insanity, is poured out into anger, and Envy becomes not only a vestige of Greed, but Wrath and Pride as well. Greed and the others – especially not Father – will not see him reduced to such a quivering, pathetic state. Instead, they should grow to fear his power, his ruthlessness.
When the floors bleed an effluent red in a bewildering instant of hopelessness, Envy licks his paws and nips at his plaything that cannot die. Nearly giddy with the semblance of morbid pleasure and feverish with insanity, his tongue slides into places it should no go, tastes of what Greed is composed of, and his towering form shrinks down, down down, until it is slight and sinuous, bladed with his ire and sticky with fanatical, deranged lust. And they continue their jerking, swollen 'dance' at the dictation of only Envy's destitute will.
But when the moment is lost and the edge and control fade away, he is left with nothing but his need for what others have, and the will do take nothing, become nothing – nothing but a pretty face and a stolen life.
Then, Envy is
Feigned desire with a bitter face.
There exists, within whatever warped perception of life he may have, an insatiable desire to become something, though in theory he could be anything and everything. Yet, there is no internal satisfaction in his actions. After all, there was no goal to strive for; just meaningless spite, a thirst that cannot be quenched.
It drives him mad, to know this truth and not be able to alter it; he can take and mutate anything and everything but Truth.
And the inevitable Truth he could not skirt around was that he was doomed to be caught in motionless balance for eternity.
Envy will never become, nor will he ever cease to decay. But when it comes down to it, the only thing of any magnitude is that Envy simply is.