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Arrowsbane
1: How Team Sarutobi came to be.
Alternatively: How Sarutobi wound up saddled with the three hell-brats that passed for Team 7 (3.0)
Tobirama is the Hokage now.
He misses his brother, wishes that the Hat had never come to rest upon his head – not this soon at any rate. It feels like only yesterday they were signing the peace treaty, and now his students are grown, his nieces and nephews are grown… Was it really just two days ago that Hashirama's granddaughter was slated to graduate, top of her class?
He groans, rubbing at the crease between his eyebrows. When did he get to be so old?
"Ren," he calls to his aide, "bring me the files for the Jonin-sensei of this year's graduates."
"Yes Nidaime-sama," Yamanaka Ren bows and scampers off to find them, his red-blonde ponytail bobbing behind him. Ren returns promptly, files in arm and hands them over with a cheerful grin.
Papers splay across his desk and he has to suppress a groan of frustration. He still doesn't have a sensei for his darling grand-niece… in fact… there's only a very few number of people he'd trust with the Senju heir.
"Ren?" The cheerful aide sticks his head through the door again.
"Yes Nidaime-sama?"
"Summon Team Tobirama for me, will you?"
"Right away Nidaime-sama," Ren beams, bouncing off once-more. Sometimes Tobirama wonders what he'd do without the half-Uzumaki, half-Yamanaka Tokujo who has a certain gift for managing the demon that is paperwork.
It takes less than twenty minutes for the paper-nin to track down his wayward students – Danzo is suspiciously absent, and he just knows that the wily bastard had seen this coming a mile off – and Tobirama puts on his calmest expression. All it does is horrify the three jonin before him.
"Tsunade graduated this week," he tells them, not mincing words. "I'll leave it to the three of you to decide who'll be taking her team," He throws the team dossier at the trio, and dismisses them with a wave of his hand, and returning to the dreaded finance report that really should have been signed in triplicate last week.
Team Tobirama trudges outside into the street (and isn't it funny how Danzo chose this week to be mysteriously absent on sudden urgent business that really couldn't be delayed), not a word between them.
Koharu is rubbing at her temples with a fierce look in her eyes as she turns to face her male teammates.
"No." Hiruzen says firmly as Koharu frowns at him. "No."
"I have plans," she hisses, "plans that do not include looking after baby ninja."
Years of experience in all matters Koharu would normally have alarm bells ringing in his brain saying "Abort! Abort! Run for your life," But dammit, Hiruzen doesn't want the brats either. He's seen how much trouble the three of them can get up to on their own, the idea of all three of them in one place is enough to give him nightmares.
The pair of them turn to Homura, but the sneaky bastard is gone. There's a mad cackle from several streets over, and then his chakra vanishes from range.
Koharu growls. Actually growls.
But Hiruzen has never backed down from a fight, and he's not about to start now.
He narrows his eyes, tensing up. Across from him, Koharu does the same.
Fists lash out, pumping quickly. One two three.
Hiruzen's hand forms a rock. Koharu's is paper.
"Dammit," he grouses, and the harpy he calls a teammate grins.
"Best out of three?" He tries.
"Not a chance in hell." Above them, the large clock mounted on the Meeting Hall chimes nine times.
He's late. Why? The look on Koharu's face is downright evil, and Hiruzen silently swears to have his revenge.
But right now? Dust swirls in his wake as he moves faster than he thinks he's even been before, roof-hopping like a boss all the way to the Academy.
He slides in through the window, just in time to hear the tail end of the Instructor's speech and lands with a soft thump.
"…and Senju Tsunade. Your sensei is…"
"Here!" Hiruzen wheezes, out of breath as he slides into the Academy classroom after the mad-dash. Koharu and Homura owe him.
"What happened to you?" Asks one of the Akimichi jonin (there are two of them), eyeing his scuffed clothing.
"Ah. Tobirama-sensei couldn't decide on the last teacher for this year, so he left it up to my team to decide. Jan-ken-pon got a little wild." He admits in a low whisper.
"Sweet!" Crows a white-haired boy who evidently has the hearing of a bat for crying out loud, and suddenly Hiruzen has a very bad feeling. "You hear that? They were fighting over who got to teach us!"
And there it is.
Damn.
He's about ready to snap and tell them that is not what happened, but then his eyes fall upon the hopeful look on Princess Tsunade's face, and he doesn't have the heart to upset her.
No, really, he knows damn well that Sensei will eviscerate him.
"Sure," He grins at them, "that's exactly what happened."
Then he dangles two bells in front of the trio, cackling with glee on the inside.
"There are two bells, and three of you…"
I'm laughing on the inside. Because this would have been amazing to see in animated form.