Always and Forever

Chapter 1

Yep, another fic. A drama fic. A Chandler fic. Oh, and slight, teeny, tiny season nine spoiler…so tiny that it hardly even counts as a spoiler…just a subject that they touched on that I took and ran with. But nothing too major. Well I guess there is kinda another thing…But on an entirely different subject, I've found 40 bucks within the last week…I found a $20 bill outside in the parking lot today…it was pretty wet and disgusting from the snow and stuff, but, hey, money's money, I'm not picky. Hmm…maybe I'll eventually find enough money to buy the characters…No? *sighs* well fine then, go ahead and pop my bubble. *pouts* Fine. They aren't mine. None of them. *sighs again* big bullies…not letting me have my moment…

Chandler stared out the cab window, watching the flakes of snow that had once again started to fall, creating a white blanket over the city. He sighed, closing his eyes as he leaned his forehead against the cool glass window.

He should have been there.

Ross, Rachel, Emma, and Monica had gone to Ross and Monica's parents' house for dinner. They were on the way home; the roads were icy. They hit a patch of black ice…

He should have been with them. But he hadn't been. He'd been in Tulsa. He'd been alone in his hotel room when he'd gotten the call, and then he'd been on the next flight to New York. But he'd been an entire plane ride away, half a continent away.

Taking a deep breath, he took out his wallet, not even realizing that he'd handed the cab driver a 50 dollar bill instead of a 20, mumbling for him to keep the change before he took off running toward the hospital door.

"Chandler!"

Chandler looked around frantically, hearing his name. "Chandler," Joey repeated, and Chandler looked in his direction, heading toward him as soon as he spotted him. Joey took a deep breath, tears in his eyes. "Ross and Rachel…" he started, his voice trembling, and he eventually trailed off, not able to actually say the words. "An-and they said that-that Monica might not make it through the night."

Chandler swallowed hard, looking up as he closed his eyes, trying to get a grasp on everything he'd found out in the past few hours. "Take me to her?" he finally whispered, and Joey nodded, leading Chandler to where she was.

"Chandler," Monica said weakly as he walked into the room.

"Hey, babe," he whispered, kissing her.

"I was so scared you weren't coming…They said you were, but I was afraid you weren't going to get here," Monica rambled, and Chandler just watched her. She hardly looked like his Monica. Not his strong tough Monica. She wasn't weak and frail, cuts and bruises all over, hair matted to her forehead with blood, hooked up to monitors and machines.

"I'm sorry," Chandler whispered. "I'm so sorry…I should've been there, too, and…"

"And what good would that have done?" she squeezed his hand as he took hers. "You'd be laying in some hospital bed, too?" Monica paused for a second. "The-they told me about Ross and Rachel…" she trailed off again, looking at him. "You couldn't be here, too…You have to take care of Emma."

Chandler shook his head, refusing to believe that he was losing her. "We. We have to take care of Emma," he said, voice shaky.

"Chandler," Monica said softly, and he met her eye. "You."

Chandler sniffled, trying his best not to break down crying. "I can't live without you, Mon," he whispered.

"You have to."

Chandler closed his eyes, so sure that the end of this nightmare was about to come, that the second would finally arrive when he would jolt upright in bed, leaving the horrible dream behind. "I love you so much," he looked at her, not taking his eyes from hers for a second. "So much…"

"I love you, too…"

Chandler wiped his eyes. "Does it-does it hurt?"

Monica shook her head. "Painkillers."

"Right," he nodded.

"I didn't get to talk to you last night," Monica said, her voice low and soft. "In the car, that's what I was thinking about…that I hadn't talked to you in over 24 hours…so I was gonna call you as soon as I got home…just to hear your voice," she paused, and for the first time, Chandler saw tears in her eyes. "And then, in the ambulance…on the way here…I heard them say something…something about not being sure that I'd even make it here…and all I could think was how scared I was that I was never going to get to see you again…get to tell you that I love you again…"

"I know that you love me," Chandler whispered, his crying preventing him from speaking any louder.

"I know," she whispered in return. "But I had to see you again…"

Chandler leaned down to kiss her, understanding what she was saying. She held on to say good bye. "You don't have to keep holding on if you don't want to," he finally whispered through his tears. "You can let go…"

Monica looked at him. "You have been my prince, you know that…my night in shining armor," she smiled at him. "My soulmate, my best friend…my lobster," she smiled again, and Chandler laughed. "I love you…" she took a deep breath. "Always and forever."

"I love you, too," he whispered back, knowing that she was saying good-bye. "Always and forever…" he trailed off, kissing her again before burying his head in her chest crying. He felt Monica squeeze his hand in return, a moment later, the muscles in her hand relaxing as the steady beeping of the heart monitor turned into a single buzz, and he was forced away from her as the doctors rushed in. He moved back in a daze, the whole scene surreal, slow moving, the buzz of the heart monitor ringing in his ears as he was forced out of the room. He closed his eyes, leaning back against the wall, sliding down until he was sitting on the ground, sobs overtaking his entire body.

Phoebe and Joey had gotten up as soon as they saw Chandler come out, but had stopped short when they saw him break down crying. They didn't have to ask him what had happened, if she was gone, too.

They already knew.

~*~

Chandler stared at the faint red glow of the digital clock. 3:43. Phoebe and Joey had insisted that he come home with them, Jack and Judy had even insisted that he go home, but he refused. And none of them had known just how stubborn Chandler could be, but he refused to leave.

Emma was fine. Knock on wood, she was fine. Chandler almost laughed. A hell of a lot of good knocking on wood did. They'd knocked on wood when they'd discussed what would happen if this situation were ever to occur…if both Ross and Rachel were to die…and if Monica were to die, too…A hell of a lot of good the knocking on wood did.

But Emma was fine. All three adults in the car were killed, but the seven-month-old baby was fine. Scratches and bruises, but scratches and bruises that would heal. No scars. And she wouldn't even remember the accident.

No scars.

But she also wouldn't remember her parents. Not at all.

No scars Chandler thought sarcastically.

They wanted to keep Emma overnight for observation, and he'd insisted on staying with her. He'd go in and out of sleep, but when he'd sleep, he'd dream of Monica, of the accident. Brakes squealing, glass shattering, blood…

He didn't want to sleep anymore.

He sighed, watching Emma sleep. She could sleep peacefully. No nightmares. No scars.

She looked like Rachel.

Chandler had many times thought of what his and Monica's kids would look like. A little girl with dark brown hair and Monica's bright blue eyes…a little boy with sandy brown hair, deep blue eyes…kids that were the best of both of them. No doubt stubborn and neurotic, but also the best of the two of them combined.

Chandler sighed, wiping his eyes. He was still half in denial. In his head, he knew that she was gone. But in his heart…in his heart, he still half hoped that this was just the worst dream he had ever had.

Emma started whimpering, and Chandler snapped back to reality.

"Hey, Emma," he whispered, letting her grab onto his hand when she started to reach out with her arms. He looked up as a nurse came into the room to check on her. "Can I pick her up?" he asked quietly, and she nodded.

"Just be gentle," she said softly before going back out the door, looking back at him with sympathetic eyes.

Chandler gently picked her up as her whimpering turned to crying. "Hey, shh," he whispered. "You know your mom and dad aren't here, don't you," he continued to whisper, trying to get her to calm down. "Well, life's a bitch, little girl," he looked down at her. "But tell ya what…you and me, Emma…always and forever," he said softly as she started to quiet down. "Us against the world," he laid her back down, sighing. "Though it's more like the world against us, isn't it," he sighed as he sat down in the hard plastic chair, bound and determined not to give in to the nightmare plagued sleep that he knew would come. But he eventually became powerless to fight it, completely drained, both physically and mentally, and he finally gave in and slept.

To

Be

Continued...

Please review and let me know what you think…I don't think this will be a very long series, four or five parts maybe. But anyway, let me know what you think…