Pleasing the Audience 6
Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC or Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos.
One Shot
Ah, the reviews for Dancing Fools. Yes, come to me. You will dance for me.
The author laughed maniacally.
Wonder Man entered,
"Uh, Persiana13, I have a problem."
Simon, this had better be good. I'm counting all the reviews on my hit fic Dancing Fools.
Wonder Man said,
"All right, it's about Supergirl."
The author sighed,
What did she do this time?
Wonder Man explained,
"She's been kind of stalking me."
Let me guess, she's started writing graphic letters, hasn't she?
Wonder Man said,
"Worse."
She's calling you at all hours of the night.
Wonder Man gulped,
"Worse than that."
Did she take a page out of Donna's playbook and do a human sundae in your bathtub?
Wonder Man answered,
"No. She's following me around with a camera."
Supergirl entered holding a camera,
"There you are, Simon! I've been looking everywhere for you!"
She pointed the camera down,
"Yummy, yummy, Simon. Have you been working out?"
Wonder Man groaned,
"Kara, you're an attractive woman and everything, but you have to stop this! I mean, you're starting to act like Farrah does every she sees Diablos."
Or every time Donna sees Farrah work out.
Wonder Man blinked,
"Wait, Wonder Girl likes girls?"
I think she swings either way. She's been having sex with Roy, but secretly fantasizes about being with Farrah.
Wonder Man blinked,
"Does Farrah know about this?"
Farrah said off camera,
"Donna, quit it! No, you may not give me a back rub! You have a tendency to grab my ass when you do it! Shouldn't you be tying down Speedy?"
She's known about it since Chapter 7 of JLP. They hashed things out about it in Chapter 12, but Donna still blushes every time Farrah warms up.
Supergirl shouted,
"Hey, let's get back to me! I want to be paired up with Simon!"
Vixen entered,
"Now, wait a minute, Kara. Persiana13 knows I would make an excellent girlfriend."
Vixen eyed Wonder Man seductively,
"I can be quite limber when I want to be."
The author rolled his eyes,
The people I work with.
Zatanna entered in a puff of smoke,
"Now wait just a minute, Vixen. I want to be paired up with Simon! After all, I'm magic!"
She giggled and waved playfully at Simon.
Supergirl glared,
"Lay off, Zee. Simon's MY man! I saw him first!"
Vixen teased,
"You're just a little girl, Kara. You need to grow up for a man like Simon!"
Zatanna scoffed,
"Growing up? That's a joke! Especially when you and Hawkgirl constantly bitch about who John loves more!"
Gypsy entered,
"I want to be paired with Simon!"
Zatanna scowled,
"You? Please, all you do is hide around like a little girl!"
Gypsy shouted,
"Hey, I don't hear a reason from you, magic girl! Why should you get him and not me?"
Zatanna smugly smiled,
"I can make any fantasy he wants come true."
Vixen walked to Simon and wrapped her arms around his arm,
"Simon, do you like me?"
Wonder Ma blinked,
"Uh, well…"
He noticed the puppy dog pout in Vixen's eyes,
"You're very pretty and everything and…"
Zatanna has her arms wrapped around Simon's other arm, the same pained look on her face,
"Zatanna is also pretty."
Supergirl removed a camera,
"Hey, quit moving in on MY man!"
Gypsy nodded,
"Yeah, he's mine!"
Vixen smirked,
"Better luck next time, ladies."
Supergirl screamed and tackled Vixen, a cat-fight erupting,
"DIE, BITCH!"
Gypsy screamed and tackled Zatanna, a cat-fight erupting,
"What she said!"
Wonder Man blinked at the chaos,
"O-K. I mean, I know I have female fans, but this is ridiculous."
It could be worse; Fire could be the one stalking you.
Fire said off camera,
"Come on, Teddy! The shackles aren't going to occupy themselves now, are they?"
Blue Beetle, off camera, shouted,
"HELP! SHE'S NUTS!"
Wonder Man groaned,
"Is it always this insane?"
You get used to it. I just try to think of a nice quiet place, and I have lots of coffee to help me get through it! Speaking of which, I need another cup!
The insane author walked off the set with coffee mug.
Wonder Man groaned,
"I really need to do something."
He noticed a megaphone off camera and went to retrieve it. He shouted,
"LADIES!"
All the women covered their ears in pain.
Zatanna: Ow, that hurt!
Vixen jumped,
"Not as much as this, tuxedo bitch!"
A catfight between Zatanna and Vixen breaks out.
Supergirl squealed,
"Mine!"
She charged Simon and dragged him off camera.
Gypsy shouted,
"Come back here! He's mine!"
Vixen looked up,
"Kara's trying to steal my man!"
Zatanna declared,
"Get her!"
The three ladies chase after them.
The author re-entered the set,
Simon's caught in a love pentagon.
The author blinked and an evil smile spread across his face,
Once again, I have found inspiration in backstage soap opera.
The author began to type madly.
End of One shot