Update : This is a JOKE FANFICTION. It is pretty stupid, I know that, it has no plot, no sense, no style, it is just a short, stupid idea that I wrote down- I KNOW it is positively CRAPPY!
I just wanted to PUBLISH a JOKE, dammit! SO STOP FLAMING!
I'm so happy I'll write you a story, humoristic of course... the title is : The true story of Snape's death. There is a part about Snape and a catterpillar referring to the fact that the actor lent his voice to one in Alice in Wonderland.
Written by : wait a second... ummmmmmm... oh! Right : victoria gryffindor peverell. VGP for my lectors. Which you are, if you're reading this, which you are, etc...
Fine. This might not be the best fic ever. But don't like : don't read.
Snape walked quietly through the trees, crouching like a cat smelling for an enemy that would steal his prey. Eyebrows low and ears strained, he listened, then whispered :
"Are you here, my love ?" A high– pitched gigglish and girly voice answered him :
"I am here , over your head! The coast is clear, catch me!" A huge pink caterpillar was lounging on a branch a few feet higher. Huge in length– and width... She wobbled and fell in his outstretched, skinny and hesitant arms. She landed in a thud and splotch. Laying in a pool of splattered pink and slightly green blood, lay Severus Snape, first class idiot, always remembered. Rest In Chaos may he. We will always hate you.
See? I told you that Snotty Voldy didn't kill him with that weird stick!... Come to think of it, I'd rather be killed by a hair-looking green thing springing out of a wizzo's stick (who doesn't even have the fogging decency of having a nose, I mean really...) (the wizzo, not the stick, I mean) than by a fat, pink, giggling, thudding and splotching caterpillar. And no, she was not named Hermione. Sorry.