"Ready, River?" Simon held out a hand to his sister. She grinned at him, in a way that reminded him of how she'd been before she left for the Academy. Brilliant, saucy, confident in his love for her, ready to do or try anything. Tonight, for New Year's Eve and the festivities the crew had planned, Inara had done River's hair, piling it on top of her head, with curls streaming from the sides. And had lent River a dress – a high necked peach satin frock in a Mandarin style. His little mei-mei was so pretty. "You look beautiful, mei-mei. So grown up."
She rolled her eyes at him. "I am grown up, Simon. Almost eighteen. Almost an adult."
"You're right. But you'll always be my bratty little sister, no matter how old you get." He gestured to the door. "Shall we go?"
"New Year's Eve. Traditions and celebrations around solar activity. A way to mark the passage of time. Beautiful ladies and handsome men. Food, drink, music. Kissing at midnight." She giggled, and Simon felt a punch on his arm as they walked from the passenger dorms to the dining area. "Beautiful lady. Eyes will pop out when you see her. You'll want to hold her and kiss her all night long." Simon blushed, knowing exactly who she was talking about. A picture filled his mind of him doing just that, and more. It was something he'd dreamed about for a long time. And had never had the nerve to do. Not even a chaste peck on the cheek. How could he come up with the nerve to do what River said, what he really, really wanted, in just one night?
Simon jumped as River pulled away from him and spun around the hall, pretending to dance with a partner. Then she stopped and gave him a dirty look. "She's what you need. So try not to be a boob tonight, dear brother. Dong ma?" Simon just stood there, staring after her as she raced down the hall to the party. He was right. She would always, always be a brat.
"Nice to see you made it, Doc." Zoe greeted him at the door to the dining area, handing him a drink. "The party is just getting started."
"You look very lovely tonight," he said, sipping the tart, thin wine Kaylee somehow made using the engine system. "I imagine Wash thinks so as well." He winked at her, and Zoe smiled back.
"Well, it is a slinky dress," she said, gesturing to the clingy red silk dress she wore. "But there are lots of lovely ladies here tonight. You might find one to your liking in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on dessert." This time Zoe winked at him and gave him a knowing smile as he felt his face go hot. "Off you go," she teased, giving his shoulder a faint push.
But he took his time, although he really wanted to find her. Right now. Simon didn't want to look too eager. He didn't like feeling this eager and nervous, either. Taking a deep breath, he moved into the room. Someone – likely Kaylee, with help from River and Inara – had decorated the dining area ceiling with snowflakes and sparkly paper. On the table, arranged in an artfully artless fashion, were little paper origami stars.
A hand clapped his shoulder. "God bless Inara, right, Simon?" Wash said from behind him. "My wife's finally in a slinky dress. Finally. And I didn't have to buy it. Would have cost more than I've got. More than I'll likely ever have."
"Ah, yes. That dress is very flattering on Zoe. A good color for her." He felt nervous. Would his comment get him a punch? It seemed safely appropriate to him.
"Oh Simon. Simon, Simon, Simon." Wash shook his head and laughed. "You're not on Osiris at a fancy ball. You can say what you think. My wife looks hot, and I couldn't care less if you ogle her behind all night." He draped an arm around Simon's shoulders. "You want to know why? Cause she's goin' home with me tonight. Now I'm going to have some more wine, and I think you should go find a lady in a green dress." He pointed in the direction of the kitchen. "If I wasn't married and madly in love with my wife, well. Well. You'll see." And with that, Wash lurched away to the table, leaving Simon standing there, feeling nervous and amused at the same time.
Since two people had told him, or, rather, implied, that he should go find Kaylee, Simon decided it was time to take their advice. He made his way closer to the kitchen, looking for a green dress. He could hear her voice, laughing with Jayne and Mal and River. Her head was bent over a platter, sprinkling something on top of it. Simon could see her long brown hair flowing around her, spiraling in thick curls. And the way the silky fabric she wore moved against her body as she finished her work. His mouth was feeling a bit dry all of a sudden, his pants a bit tight.
Then she lifted her head, and their eyes met. He thought his heart stopped, for just a moment, at the sweet, shy smile she gave him. At the sudden flush and redness in her cheeks. He knew he was staring, but he simply could not help himself. She just glowed, brighter than the brightest star in the universe. No moon or sun stood a chance against her. Simon put his hand on the back of a chair, feeling a little faint, as Kaylee turned back to what she was doing.
"Isn't she lovely?" Inara asked, coming up beside him.
"She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life," he breathed. "She's always perfect, always glows. Especially in coveralls and engine grease. But tonight – I – well, saying she's beautiful actually is paltry praise."
"Make sure you tell her that. She likes to dress up, but she's nervous in that particular dress."
"Why would she be?" he choked out, staring at Inara in confusion. "She's a goddess!"
"That's why." Inara nodded her head, and Simon turned back to Kaylee. Only this time, she'd turned around, rifling in the cupboards for something. "Oh my God." The back of the dress was open – from just below the nape of her neck, to the small of her back. Thin strips of gold fabric criss-crossed her skin, connecting the glowing green silk. Kaylee's lovely back practically begged for a man's fingers to explore every exposed inch. But he couldn't do that. Not right now, anyway. His head spinning, Simon sat weakly in the chair. "Did you want to kill me? Give me a heart attack?"
Inara laughed. "No, I don't want kill you. Kaylee would be quite unhappy about that."
Feeling out of his depth, Simon rubbed his face with his hands. "What am I going to do with her?"
"You're going to sit by her. And dance with her. Kiss her at midnight. Maybe go somewhere private and kiss her more after that." He felt Inara grip his shoulder tightly, and he looked up at her. She was giving him a serious look now. "And you're finally going to tell her how you feel about her, what you want from her. You've waited a long time already. She needs to know. Don't mess it up. Just tell her what's in here," she said, pointing to his heart. "Don't think about it. Just do it."
He sighed a little. Thinking and worrying was his default. It usually took him a long time to get to the doing part, except in surgery. But Inara was right. He had waited a long time. Far too long. If everyone else could see it, it was time to do something about it.
She was nervous in the dress. Almost to the point of being jittery. Kaylee had never worn anything so elegant, and so exposing. She could feel the heat and flow of the air brush the skin of her back. It made her shiver a little.
Pointedly, she concentrated on what she was doing. Finishing the plate of pudding, she sprinkled the tiny parcel of shredded coconut over the bowl. Laughing at a joke Mal was telling. It kept her mind off the fact that she felt barely dressed. Beautiful, she knew she was beautiful. But such an open back. And the little shelf bra built into the front of the dress felt odd. It didn't lay quite right. And what would her mother say?
Her mother wasn't here. So it didn't really matter. Inara, like a good big sister, had said several times that she looked amazing. So had Zoe and River. Kaylee pushed maternal disapproval from her mind and tried to enjoy herself.
And there came Simon. He looked so good, so natural, in his white shirt and vest and coat. Someone like him should be at a party on his home planet tonight, eating real pudding or strawberries, as much as he wanted. She looked away from him, checking the presentation. But the thoughts of Simon stayed with her. He'd be dancing with beautiful ladies who actually felt comfortable in their dresses. Who could wear them with grace and flair. They would know the steps to all the dances and wouldn't embarrass him. Classy ladies. Ladies not like her.
"He doesn't want those ladies." Kaylee started as River spoke softly near her. "He always thought they were a little bit boring."
"What?"
"He's watching you, see?" And Kaylee lifted her head, only to lock eyes with Simon and see that River's words were true. His eyes were wide open, staring at her in wonder. "Bad manners. Not supposed to stare," she heard River say with mock seriousness. Kaylee smiled at Simon, feeling a little nervous at the way he was looking at her. She felt heat creep into her cheeks. In fact, her whole body felt warm under his intense gaze. She broke their connection, feeling excited and strange and not at all sure what she wanted to do about it.
From the first moment he'd come on board, she'd thought he was handsome. Would have been more than willing to have sex with him then. But then she'd gotten to know him, first through observations and then more through conversation. Kaylee had grown to like him, enjoying his company. When he wasn't sticking his foot in his mouth, that is. Now she wanted more than his friendship, but she couldn't read him, what he wanted. He was staring at her in a way that made her very conscious that she was a woman, and he was a man. Kaylee didn't know what to do herself, or what Simon would do next.
"Needs cherries. You have them, in a cupboard," River said smugly.
"Oh. Right." She turned around, unlocking the right bin. Feeling like she was flashing the whole room. Flashing Simon. She took the container out and opened it slowly, careful not to get any juice on the silky fabric.
"They're talking about you. How beautiful – "
"River, please can you just keep it to yourself? I'm already nervous enough, bein' in this dress with no back. I know you mean well, but it's makin' me even more nervous to have you tell me what Simon's thinkin'." She put a hand on the younger girl's arm. "Please don't tell me more, kay, honey?"
River smiled, and kissed her cheek. "Okay. I won't say anymore. But there's no need to be so nervous." She squeezed Kaylee's arm, and left the kitchen.
"Right. Nothin' at all to be nervous about," Kaylee sighed to herself as she carefully placed red cherries around the edge of the pudding. "Not a gorram thing."
The dinner went surprisingly well, Simon thought. Lots of stories and laughter. The food was some of the best he'd had since he'd come on board. It would never meet the standards of any delicacy at an Osiris ball. But he could not ignore the fact that he was having much more fun here, out in the black, with people he hadn't known several months ago, than he ever had at any fancy party with people he'd known his whole life.
He was feeling good. Very good. River was sitting across the table from him, between Jayne and Sheperd Book, giggling at something Jayne was saying. Simon was glad he could not hear it, it was probably something crude. But his sister was having a good time. That was what was important, not the mercenary's appalling lack of basic manners.
Simon patted himself on the back mentally. He had not done or said anything that could make Kaylee run away, or have River calling him a boob. At least, he didn't think so. He'd pulled out Kaylee's chair for her, as a gentleman should. She'd thanked him, giving him a shy smile. And he'd gotten the funniest feeling she was nervous about something more than just the exposed back of her dress. That wasn't like her. Not Kaylee. She was bold, saying what she felt when she felt it. Saying what she wanted, without worrying about propriety and convention. He would know, having stuck his foot, sometimes his whole leg, in his mouth with her far too often and getting her honest pain in response.
Absently, his hand strayed to her knee as he tried to think of something to say or do to help her relax. He jumped a little as she let out a squeak of surprise at his touch.
"You all right there, Kaylee?" Mal asked from down the table.
"Yes, Capn. I think I'll go get the puddin' now." She got up from the table and went into the kitchen.
"Excuse me." Simon got up, and followed her.
"Kaylee," he said tentatively, talking to her back. "I didn't mean to startle you like that. You seemed so nervous, and I was trying to think of a way to help you. My hand, it just moved of it's own accord. I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry."
She turned to him then, with another shy smile. "It's all right, I know you didn't mean to scare me. I bet at the table they're talkin' about you comin' in here. With me. Alone." She winked at him, cheeks pink with pleasure.
Her beauty was like a punch to his gut. He almost couldn't breathe. "My God Kaylee, you are the most gorgeous creature I've ever laid eyes on." She was like a magnet, easily drawing the words out of him, pulling him forward. There was no thinking, just an automatic response to her. He reached out and pulled her to him, stroking her bare arms. "So beautiful. I've been such a gorram fool." He just barely registered the look of surprise on her face as he pulled her closer. "Such a fool," he mumbled against her lips as he kissed her softly.
He felt her tense, just for a second or two, then her body relaxed in his arms. Her arms twined around his neck. A tingle went through him as he felt her hands in his hair, caressing his head. It felt so good, so amazing, to finally be here now. His lips on hers, holding her close, feeling her responding to him. Far better than any fantasy he'd ever had of the two of them, and he'd had plenty. His hands squeezed her waist, pressing his fingers into the spaces of skin on her back made by the thin gold threads. She trembled in his arms and moaned his name softly. "Simon."
Pulling away, he pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Finally. Our first kiss. I don't think I messed anything up. You might have run away or punched me if I did. But I just don't want to stop kissing you." He leaned in again, this time kissing her jaw, nipping her neck lightly. Kaylee squirmed in his arms and gasped.
"I've been waitin' for a long time, Simon. Don't wanna stop, either." She leaned her head back, giving him more access to her neck and shoulder.
They jumped apart at Mal's yell from the dining area. "Kaylee! Simon! Where's that gorram puddin'?"
"It's a song, from Earth That Was. Written in the early part of the twentieth century. Do you like it?"
Dinner and dessert over now, there was dancing. Wash had linked into the Cortex and found some holiday tunes and dance numbers and was playing them, much to Jayne's annoyance. Simon could hear him grumbling in the background. But when he gazed into Kaylee's eyes as they were slow dancing, everything else was tuned out. It was just the two of them, in their own private bubble.
"It's pretty. The words and the melody." Her eyes closed and she smiled as he spun her a little. "I seem to find the happiness I seek . . . when we're out together dancing cheek to cheek," she sang, blending perfectly with the singer.
"I didn't know you sang!" He was charmed by the sweet, light sound of her voice. "You sound lovely."
"So, you, uh, don't mind a girl who can't talk like they do on the Core, don't know the steps, or the right spoons and forks to use. . . " She stopped talking when he pressed a finger to her lips. "No. No more of that," he said firmly, shaking his head. "I don't want those kinds of women, the kind on the Core. No," he said, pressing a kiss to her protesting lips. "I don't want to talk about that now, or even think about it. I just want to think about you."
There was a tap on his shoulder. The captain. "I was wondering if I could cut in, doc, have a dance with my mechanic?"
"Of course." Simon gave Kaylee a smile, and stepped out of their way. Moving back toward the door, he caught Inara's eye and walked over to her. She put an arm around his shoulders and squeezed. "Everything coming up roses?"
He gave her a big grin. "I'm the luckiest man in the 'verse. If I'd had any idea how it would be – why did I wait so long?" He shook his head.
"You did what you thought was right for you at the time. Now you see that a different way is right. In the end, you got where you needed to be, and that's all that matters."
"I guess you're right," he sighed. He felt giddy with happiness. Like he could walk on water, or fly. When was the last time he'd felt this good, this free and alive? Honestly, Simon could not remember. And it hadn't been all that hard to say what he was feeling. In fact, it felt wonderful to start to get some of those thoughts and feelings out, the ones he'd resisted so hard for so long. Simon realized he felt more relaxed now than he had when he had finally completed his residency. More relaxed than he could ever recall.
"You got stars in your eyes. Look, Zoe, he's so cute, watching his lady dance." Wash and Zoe had danced their way over to him without his seeing them. Simon had been watching Kaylee, dancing with Mal, laughing as he twirled her around and around. Wanting to dance with her again.
"I do not have stars in my eyes," he said tersely, blushing, realizing that, yes, he probably did. And that he would be teased by certain people – Wash to some extent. He was sure River would not be able to refrain from a few embarrassing comments at least. That was what little sisters were for.
"Don't tease the man so much, Wash," Zoe chided. "Simon, you look as relaxed and happy as I've ever seen you. It looks good on you. Apparently you've learned to talk to girls since the time we saw that alien in a jar."
He could not help a grin at that comment. Even though it referred to a time when he'd thought Kaylee would never have a kind look or kind word for him again. "It was a mutated cow fetus."
"Ten!"
"Nine!"
"Eight!"
"Seven!"
"Six!"
"Five!"
"Four!"
"Three!"
"Two!"
"One!"
"Happy New Year!"
He was in heaven. Sitting in the bridge in co-pilot's large chair, a beautiful woman he cared for very deeply sitting on his lap, kissing him, twining her fingers in his hair. Simon could hear the shouting and laughing and singing from the dining hall. They should come out of here, he thought momentarily. But Kaylee tasted so good, felt so right in his arms, he didn't want to get up.
"Happy New Year, bao bei," he whispered, pulling away from her lips to press a kiss to her temple. "Happy new year."
Oddly, he felt her tense as she sat up and looked at him. "Simon," she said, tracing a finger down his cheek. "This is, well, I like the kissin' and dancin' and everythin'. A lot. But what happens tomorrow?" He felt himself deflate as she dropped her hand and looked away.
"You think this is just for now? Just one night?" He couldn't help the feeling of tightness in his throat. "You think I'll get cold feet and run away."
"Simon," Kaylee said softly, "I don't know what to think. I don't want just one night. And I don't know what you want." He felt her burrow into his chest, shaking a little, seeking comfort and answers.
He sighed, slowly breathing out. "Our friendship means a lot to me. You've helped me so much, Kaylee." Simon paused, resting his head on hers. "But I'm selfish. I want more from you than to be your friend. I need more than that. I need you." Simon stroked her back gently, breathing in the scent of the shampoo she used. "I need you."
"Do you?" Kaylee finally lifted her face to his. Her eyes were swimming in tears. One trickled down her cheek, curving down to her jaw. Simon lifted a finger to wipe it gently away. "Yes. I do," he mumbled as he kissed her hungrily now, passionately, feeling her tremble in his arms. He smiled as he felt her fingers working at the buttons of his vest, peeling it open, pressing her palms to his chest through his thin shirt.
"Simon," she gasped, breaking her lips away from his to kiss the hollow at the base of his throat. He could not stop himself from groaning in pleasure at her touch.
"What is it, bao bei?" he managed, panting slightly.
"I need you, too."
As Kaylee lifted her head and gently began to nip his neck in just the right spot to make his trousers uncomfortably tight, Simon moaned loudly. It was going to be a great New Year.