She loved m'sieur Marius. But he had never saw her there. She always had to swallow her pride and her ambition of falling into his arms to help him. Helped him to have a chance to be with Cosette. How fortunate and unfortunate to her. Her time wasn't wasted. Her search wasn't wrong. Marius recognized the mademoiselle at his first glance. But how miserable seeing his heart full of love made her heart broke into pieces. It was like it was punctured by million daggers. It was bleeding badly, she wished he could see that.
She took a bullet for him. She sacrificed for him and not until then did she see Marius took pity on her. She couldn't blame him. His heart belonged to Cosette the first time he saw the woman. His soul was set on fire whenever Cosette was around. His mind went blank whenever there was a slight image of Cosette's appeared in the corner of the street. She wished he had taken a quick glance at her, smiled at her the way he did to Cosette, held her hand like she had always dreamt. But it wouldn't come true. Because he never saw her there.
He thought he had fallen in love with Éponine. But she had never saw him there. He knew she was a woman the first time she stepped inside the café though she wore man suit. He had a vision. He secretly admired how she risked everything, her chance of living, to join his line, his crusade, his revolution. But he also knew it. That she joined because of Marius. How painful it was looking at her gaze toward his friend, who was falling in love helplessly with mademoiselle Cosette.
He didn't tell his strange feeling to anyone, nor having the slightest emotion on his face. He kept it in suspense. To himself only. And how he wished he had done something. He wished he had tried to convine her. He wished he had made her pain ease. He wished he was the one who took the bullet. And right now, he only wished he had held her. Instead, he watched hed dying slowly in Marius' arms. He watched her singing with his friend. He watched her making Marius promise. He watched her feet got colder and her eyes closed. He wasn't really sure if he was shedding a tear or what but he was glad the rain had prevented any suspicious of anyone's. He turned around when his teammate carried her death body away.
He cleared his throat. "Everybody, back to your position" He swallowed hardly, the pain went down his throat and squeezed his heart. He knew he should have moved on. Though how much he adored her…
… she never saw him there.