Do I Have To Lose You Too?

by WhatTheFrickCrowley

Sherlock has lost many things in his life, and he's become apathetic to loss. But when something he thought was going to be by his side forever is torn from him, Sherlock reminisces on the memories of something long dead. Death. Johnlock. Bad at summary, so just read it and leave a comment. Complete.

SHERLOCK || BBC

Sherlock sat in the dusty common room of his empty flat in his chair. His elbows resting on his thighs, his fingers steepled at his chin. Hey stared at his wall of mystery, where several newspaper articles, crime scene investigation photographs, and red string all about to various cases linking them together. But that was not what Sherlock was gazing incessantly at.

There was a particular newspaper article that was stripped of no other information but the photograph, the article, and title. Beside that was a photographs those of which he had secretly stolen from Mrs. Hudson's candid photos of Him and John together.

There was a time where he would have ripped it from her peering hands and thrown it into a fire, but it was now he was cherishing it. Sentiment was for the weak. And Sherlock was weak.

There was one, where John and him were covered in case papers, both of them asleep, John's head resting on his shoulder. Another time was when Sherlock had to carry John up the stairs of the flat because his psychosomatic leg injury had gotten so bad he couldn't get up the stairs. Another one was when Sherlock stayed by John's hospital bedside when he got a really bad case of the flu. John thought it was humiliating for a doctor to go to the doctor. Sherlock found it to be a very ironic humor.

There was more, even the one where John had hugged him during his wedding.

They made Sherlock's heart swell, made his heart flutter, tingles started in his fingertips, made his endorphins and heart rate rise, his eyes dilated, his breath hitch.

He remembered how John's skin felt, flaming under Sherlock's cool fingers.

Sherlock turned his gaze to the newspaper article that sunk his heart to his stomach and raised a knot in this throat. He wasn't able to save him. He just watched, failing to do anything other than tell him to stay awake. He realized only to late what the clues led to, leading towards John.

'CAPTAIN JOHN WATSON SHOT IN STREET! SHERLOCK HOLMES FAILED TO REVIVE!'

The photograph below the caption showed John's torso in his lap, bleeding out in Sherlock's lap and the concrete below. Sherlock's locks obscuring his face as his bloody fingers trembled as he tried to stop the bleeding.

A single tear escaped from Sherlock's eyes as he replayed the memory.

"Did I have to lose you too?" The grief-stricken whisper escaped from his lips.