Our entry to this year's contest, drama, please send your feedback, and we
wish you good luck and happy reading.
Note: We swear that we wrote the final scenes before 'Rooms With a View' aired, having only read the brief teaser blurbs for the basic idea..
Harold and Maude's
Tales from the Heart
The Man in the Moon
MaudeOFic@aol.com
Harrythebirdanderson@yahoo.com
I, Niles Crane, considered myself a lucky man.
It is incredible how love can change a person.
Being loved makes you see everything differently. Your everyday problems seem a lot less difficult, and just thinking about the one who loves you makes you smile. That often ends a problem before it even begins.
Love makes you feel invincible, almost untouchable.
More than lucky, I considered myself a winner.
As I walked down the hallway of our building I smiled in greeting to my neighbors like I always had. But lately my attitude was different. Now I was smiling sincerely, something they were not used to, I think. One often fakes a smile when one is not happy. People are more used to sadness than joy these days.
But I didn't care. It really didn't matter what those people thought as long as Daphne was with me.
Daphne. My wife.
I put the box I'd been carrying on the floor and used my key to unlock the door .
Daphne's things were heavy but, no matter. Still smiling, I brought the box inside. It was our third trip from the car.
I heard her voice behind me in the hall. She was talking to a neighbor, perhaps introducing herself.
Darling Daphne.
I was about to go back out when she appeared at the door, smiling at me from behind another box.
"Oh, here, love, let me help you with that," I said, promptly taking it. It was heavier than the others.
"Thank you, honey," she said, closing the door. "Mrs. Monroe sends her greetings...she is such a nice old lady ..."
"Wait until she tries to get you involved in her personal crusade for more parking space!"
I dropped the box and sat on the fainting couch. "Whew! That weighs a ton!"
"There are more, I'm afraid, back at your brother's," she said, sitting next to me.
"Oh, goody."
Daphne laughed and hugged me. "It's Ok, we can get them tomorrow."
"So tell me," I said. "How did Dad take your actual move out?"
"Well," she said as she leaned back. "The sweet old man couldn't admit he felt sad about it." Daphne smiled. "So, when Eddie curled up on the couch and looked forlorn, he told me it was our little pooch who was sad because I wouldn't be there ..."
"Really?" I chuckled. That's Dad. Hard on the outside, tender on the inside.
I looked at her with love.
"He will miss you."
"I know."
"Frasier will, too. I wonder how they'll resolve their spats now."
Daphne chuckled. "Oh, they'll survive."
"We'll have get together for dinner at least once a week, don't you think?"
"Oh, Niles, that's a wonderful idea," Daphne agreed. "Just like in old times, when people were all together, like a family."
"We are a family." I got up and took a deep breath. "Now all we need is for Roz to marry Frasier to complete the set!"
She laughed.
"How about some champagne? To celebrate."
"That would be lovely."
I walked toward the kitchen
As I pushed the door open a sudden twinge in my chest stopped me at the threshold.
My right arm flew to the place where it was.
But it was already gone.
Probably just muscle strain from the boxes.
Caressing my left arm, I opened the fridge and pulled out the bottle of champagne.
I sighed. God, I was tired.
Pulling out a kitchen chair, I sat.
Closing my eyes, I felt better. Then I felt a breeze. It was like the kiss of a soft, warm wind on my face. I noticed a familiar aroma, a fragrance I hadn't known in ages. A protective figure caressed my hair tenderly.
I felt. comforted.
Nothing could hurt me here.
The voice broke the spell, a voice that made my eyes widen.
"My sweet Niles."
I was resting my head on the table. The bottle of champagne bottle was sitting at my feet.
What was going on?
My heart was pounding and I sat up straight in the chair. I suddenly felt scared and. sad.
Then at once. peaceful.
Mother.
The voice I heard had been hers, I had no doubt. Must have been a dream.
I retrieved the bottle from the floor just as Daphne walked into the kitchen.
"What is taking you so long?" she asked.
I tried to regain control of myself. I didn't want to worry her.
"I'm sorry, love," I stalled. "I was just.."
"You have been in here for fifteen minutes. Are you Ok? You look tired, Niles."
Fifteen minutes?
A good explanation...yeah, I was tired.
"I am, I guess. Those boxes really were heavy, at least for me!" I tried to fake cheer while Daphne fetched two flutes.
"Well, no more boxes for now, Dr. Crane." She caressed my arm. "Let's take our champagne upstairs. You deserve a special reward for helping me today..."
"And just what do you have in mind?"
"You'll see. "
We went up to our bedroom.
* * *
Some hours later I woke up.
For a fleeting moment I saw only darkness. My eyes soon got used to it. I looked toward the nightstand where the clock read 12:04.
Daphne was sleeping peacefully. Her naked body was half covered by the bedclothes.
I pulled the covers up over her. What a blessing she is, I thought, caressing her back. She will be with me forever. I will never be alone again.
I knew I was, indeed, a lucky man.
Yet, what had happened in the kitchen earlier made me feel uneasy. What really happened there, anyway? Had I been sleeping? Or was it something else? I could swear it was Mother who spoke to me. Could it have been?
And what about that strange feeling of peace?
I rubbed my left arm again...was I just tired?
Daphne sighed and turned to face me. She looked so beautiful in her sleep.
I got up from the bed, taking care not to wake her. I put on my robe and walked out onto the balcony.
The moon was shining brightly. I looked at it for along time.
What a warm glow it gave, there above in the sky. It seemed to be inviting me to fly out into the night. The bright light somehow made me feel incredibly secure.
Standing there, I knew I needed nothing else right now. My Daphne was in our room asleep, and I was here on the balcony, savoring the light of the moon on a peaceful night, in a city where it rained most of the time.
No clouds covered the sky and a soft wind caressed my face, like the hands of my mother.
Looking at the man in the moon...
I smiled at the memory of her. Hester, my mother, telling me the story of the man in the moon...the one that took my nightmares away... the one that made me sleep peacefully... the man who lived in the moon watched me sleep. He took care of me.
I was just a kid, I thought, amusedly.
I looked over my shoulder. Daphne was still sleeping deeply. Good.
I slowly dragged a chair out to the balcony and sat, staring at the beautiful moon.
I closed my eyes...
The silence surrounded me, but I was not afraid. That silence was actually filled with the voices of the people I loved. I could hear them talking cheerfully, calling to me...but calling me to where?
I wanted to open my eyes...
But I couldn't.
Had I dozed off?
No, but. I was unable to open my eyes, or even move...
Please. Not yet!
***
I felt somebody shaking me and a female voice calling my name..
I opened my eyes, grateful that I finally could.
"Niles?"
Daphne's face was in front of mine.
The moon was gone, replaced by a shining sun.
"Whatever are you doing out here?" she asked. "Was I snoring again?" she chuckled.
"I...no, I." I tried to tell her what had happened but any explanation eluded me.
"Darling, you're so cold!" She rubbed my forearms. "Seriously, Niles, I don't know why you were sleeping out here. The weather is getting cooler ..."
I touched my forehead.
Cold.
My heart skipped a beat.
I tried to smile and couldn't...
Daphne seemed to notice my pained expression and her smile vanished.
"Niles? Honey?"
"Daphne..." I said. It sounded like a plea. "I... the moon."
She grabbed me by the shoulder.
"What about the moon? Niles, are you all right?" she asked in alarm. "Do you want me to take you to hospital?"
"I...had this dream... about the moon, and." I said, probably looking at her like a madman.
Her expression softened.
"You had a nightmare!" she sighed and patted my shoulder. "Well, if you keep scaring me like that I will surely have a heart attack!"
She pulled her bathrobe tighter. "Niles, come inside, it's too cold to be sitting out here. I'll just jump in the shower..." she said. "Then I'll fix us some breakfast."
"Ok."
She headed for the bathroom.
But I just stayed in the chair, my mind a turmoil of fear and frustration... What was happening?
I rose and breathed deeply, looking at the city below, hearing the din of the cars and feeling the rays of sun on my face. The uneasy feeling remained.
Was something going to happen to me?
"No," I said, softly. "Not yet."
***
I still had my key and unlocked the door to Frasier's apartment. I found him sitting on the sofa.
My brother-in-law was reading a book and listening to one of his beloved operas.
"Hey, Frasier."
"Daphne." He put the book aside and rose to greet me. "Dad will be ready in a minute. Please, have a seat and enjoy your old home for a bit."
"Thanks," I said, joining him on the couch.
"So, um. do you think you'll finish moving your things out soon?"
I smiled knowingly. "Yes, Frasier. When Niles comes by later I'll be officially out of your hair. Then you can have that reading sanctuary you have been dreaming about for so long."
Frasier grinned like a boy who knows Santa is coming to town.
"You don't have to be that happy about it, you bloody sod!"
"Oh, no Daphne." he tried to cover.
I laughed. "Oh, it's all right. I know it's nothing personal."
"Indeed. So, how is my brother?"
I sighed, remembering this morning. "Ok, I guess."
Frasier turned to look at me. "Something wrong?"
"Well, perhaps. not really.oh, I don't know!"
"What is it, Daph?"
I told him about finding my husband in the cold on our balcony, having apparently slept there all night.
"Did you two have a spat?"
I smiled. "No, quite the contrary. We had a wonderful time last night."
Frasier looked at me sideways. "Please, spare me the details."
I grinned. "Oh, like I'd tell you anything!" I grew worried again. "But this morning.well, it was just strange, Frasier. Niles on the balcony. He kept talking about the moon."
"Ah. That's easy enough to explain. He and our mother had some special thing together about the moon. A secret, just between them. Then, there's you, of course. Moon? Perhaps he was dreaming about you."
I smiled. "Perhaps.."
Frasier put his arm around my shoulder. "I'm sure it's nothing. By now you must know my brother is a bit. frayed around the edges."
I chuckled. "Well, I guess that's one way of putting it."
"Just keep an eye on him. You're both OK."
I smiled at my old boss and new relative. "You're probably right. Why don't I make some coffee? I think I can still find my way around your kitchen."
"Sounds good, Daph. What's Niles up to today, anyway?"
"He has patients this morning," I called from the kitchen. "We're meeting for lunch later. That reminds me..." I stood in the doorway. "Niles and I have been talking, and we think it'd be nice to set a date for all of us to gather for dinner, say, once a week. You know, just the family."
"I can remember a time when I was terrified Niles would invite me to have dinner with him and his wife," Martin chimed in as he walked into the living room. "Now I am more than happy to accept!"
"Sounds good to me, too, Daph."
"Great!" I handed my brother-in-law his coffee. "How about this Friday at our place, to start? Oh, and invite Roz, she's part of the family, too."
"Indeed," Frasier smiled. "I'll ask her this afternoon."
"Perfect! So, shall we head out for that walk, Martin?"
"Lead the way." He motioned me to the door.
Eddie ran in from my old room. Leash in mouth, he jumped over the couch and over Frasier, landing next to Martin and me. Apparently, in his excitement about our walk together, his master was forgetting something... like the dog!
Martin blushed. "Oops, sorry, boy."
Eddie barked excitedly.
Sweet old Martin.
***
"So..." I asked when we got to the park "How is everything going?"
Daphne released Eddie from his leash and we watched him run to meet his four legged friends.
"Wonderful," she said. "I'm getting settled in. I know Niles hates my unicorns, but he didn't say a word when I placed them on the shelf next to that dragon Roz gave him."
"Maybe he hopes they will all break at once ..." I chuckled. "By accident, of course."
"Perhaps," she smiled. "But that won't happen if he doesn't want that Italian sculpture of his to vanish into the storage bin in the basement!"
"As he would say," I imitated, as best as I could, my younger son's voice, "touché!"
The joke made her laugh heartily.
"You're terrible, Martin!" She gasped for breath. "You must have had your wife in stitches all the time."
"Well," I scratched my forehead. "Hester was a cultured woman, but you know. she had this particularity that made me love her even more." I smiled at her memory. "It didn't matter how much she loved opera and French food, she always had time for a baseball game, a hot dog and good conversation with cops who would never have wine with dinner...."
"It would be a miracle if Niles ever ate a hot dog!" Daphne chuckled.
"Our boys got two things from Hester," I said. "Her culture and taste, but more important, they inherited her big heart. That is something I always see in my sons. They can be snobs, but you can't deny that those two have hearts of gold."
"I know," she said. "Tell me, Martin. who was the closest to his mother? Frasier or Niles?"
"Oh, Niles, without question," I said.
"Really?"
"I could tell you about hundreds of times when he called for his mother in the night, seeking her comfort after a bad dream," I said. "She was the parent he needed most."
"Did that bother you?"
I shook my head. "I had Frasier..."
"You did?"
"He had nightmares, too. And always called for me."
"What did you do?"
I grinned. "I would tell him that I would force the monsters out of his bedroom by threatening them with a baseball bat." I leaned back. "I would walk in carrying an old bat and say, 'Hello, Mr. Monster, guess what I have here...." I chuckled. "Didn't take long to get him back to sleep."
Daphne laughed.
"Worked every time."
She folded her arms.
"And what about Niles?"
"Niles is a lot more sensitive than Frasier, you must know that," I sighed. "Whenever he had nightmares or was afraid to go to sleep, Hester talked to him. She made up this story about the man in the moon who was always watching him, protecting. It made him feel secure and calmed him down."
"The man in the moon? That might explain a few things."
I didn't ask what she meant by that.
"He still misses her terribly, you know."
I smiled sadly. "He's not the only one, Daph."
"I know." Daphne sighed. "Well, we seem to be doing all right... we are a family now and that means so much to me."
"And to us, too. Always remember that, Daph. When I think back to all those years he wasted with Maris. It was hard to watch him being absorbed in her shallow world. I knew there was so much more to him than that. I was delighted when he came to his senses and got out of that marriage. And even more pleased," I said, looking at her, "when he found you. You know that Niles can't picture a life with you."
"And I can't picture my life without him. Whenever think about the journey that brought us here, well. it just makes me fall in love with him all over again."
I patted her shoulder and got up from the bench, stretching. "Well, enough mushy talk. We'd better get back."
*** The moon.
The big blue moon over Seattle.
I could see it through the balcony doors, sending its glow right to me, inviting me to sit outside as I had the night before.
I didn't want to go out... but my feet were slowly taking me that way.
I moved closer, my eyes fixed on the beautiful moon.
How peaceful it must be to lay under that glow, the bright halo that would take me to eternal peace. I would love to be there, enjoying the night that never ends, the night no one fears, the night we all will know one day. I am ready...
No!
I stepped backward into the bedroom until my heels hit the bed frame.
I was terrified.
The moon then took cover behind a cloud that. wasn't even there a second ago.
The room became dark again.
Daphne was sleeping peacefully.
My heart thumping, I returned to our bed and closed my eyes.
I repressed a scream when something landed on my chest.
Daphne's arm.
I looked at her, trying to recover control.
"Daphne..." I whispered.
She didn't reply.
I hugged her closer and felt immediately safe.
Then the moon sent her glow once more through the glass door, but I closed my eyes tight. My heart raced in my chest. I didn't know why, but I was so scared. This wasn't the man in the moon I remembered.
I began to shiver and hugged Daphne even tighter.
She opened her eyes and discovered my pale face in front of hers.
"Niles...."
"Daphne...oh Daphne!" I buried my face in her shoulder. "I am so frightened...."
"Nightmares again?"
"I don't know..." I whispered. "I don't know."
Daphne stroked my hair.
"There, there...." she said, "You don't have to worry, I am here now ...you know that, don't you?"
"I know. It is just that ..."
Suddenly a shock wave rippled through me.
Daphne's eyes were glowing and a deep blue light poured out of them... I got lost in that light. It was the same light I saw on the balcony...and...
and...
I screamed and woke up.
The pressure in my chest vanished as I leaped from my chair.
I was alone in my office.
The intercom buzzing startled me.
"Dr. Crane? Are you all right?"
I had to calm her.
"I'm fine, Clarice..."
There was brief silence on the other side of the machine.
"Are you sure, Doctor?" My secretary sounded worried. "I thought I heard."
"It's Ok, Clarice I...I need some rest, that's all ..."
"Want me to cancel the rest of your appointments?"
"Please..." I said quickly.
"Should I do it now or when I return from lunch?"
I looked at my watch. 1: 30.
"Go get something to eat..." I said distractedly.
"Want me to bring you something?"
"No, thank you."
I released the switch.
"What is happening to me?" I asked out loud.
No answer came... but something moved inside the room. I wasn't sure how I knew, but I felt something there, looking at me, circling like a graceful ballet dancer. At that moment the pressure in my chest returned. I couldn't breathe or move.
"Don't you know what is happening to you?" a voice asked. "You're a doctor, you must know..."
Then the feeling disappeared, as if those words had been a command for it to stop. Suddenly unable to stay on my feet, I collapsed to the couch nearby. A question, now inevitable, came to me.
"When?"
Her voice came to me in a whisper.
"Today."
A heavy load fell over my shoulders.
Am I going to die? Is that what you mean by 'today'?
Was there something I could do?
Somehow I knew there was nothing, and to be honest, I was not afraid. Mother would be there to protect me.
Hester. My dear mother.
She was the one responsible for me still being here. Four times in the last few days she had been there, making me go back, always to Daphne.
So why today?
Why, on the day when my brother and father would be at our home, spending an evening with my wife and me? I sensed that everything was about to change, somehow.
I realized that the time Daphne and I had to be together could end any day. The life I had with her could be over at any time. And I knew that not even death could take her from my heart.
I also knew that even Heaven would be torture without her.
"Today." I heard Mother's voice. "Go tell her you love her now... do not waste any time."
Waste time.
"Tempus fugit."
"I know," I smiled, feeling a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Time flies..."
"Think of this as a gift, my Niles. We all would like to have time to tell the people we love how deeply we care for them..."
***
An hour later, I locked the door to my office. I had finished cleaning and sorting my files. I left a list of competent psychiatrists who could take over my patients.
I had also located my will and insurance papers and placed them in the top drawer of the desk.
And, finally.
The most painful thing to do.
I left a farewell letter for my beloved family, and a separate one for my wife, that joined the documents in the same drawer.
***
When I opened the door I saw Daphne placing dishes on the table.
She had a soft aria playing on the stereo, one I recognized as that I'd selected that time with Phyllis. The music masked my footsteps.
She was wearing a red dress and her soft hair brushed her shoulders. And none of that mattered. I suddenly was not looking at how beautiful she was. I saw the essence of the person I loved. I was sure she would be there for me eternally. Daphne Moon, now Daphne Crane. There was no end to the sweet memories we shared. How many would I be allowed to take with me?
"Oh, there you are," she said.
"Do you have any idea how beautiful you look today?" I asked.
"Thank you, love," she smiled, not stopping her task. "Dinner's almost ready, they'll be here shortly. Wine's in the fridge, could you open it for me?"
"You know, Daphne," I said, almost unconsciously. "I will always cheerish the moments I spend with you. They are precious to me in ways you'd never imagine."
She put down the forks in a pile and walked over to me.
"Niles?" She stroked my temple. "What's this about? Is something wrong? You have been acting so strangely lately."
I blinked and came out of my. trance, or whatever it was. The last few days had indeed been surreal.
"No, nothing. I just. sometimes get overwhelmed by. how much you mean to me."
She smiled. "Well, you mean the world to me, too, pet. And as much as I'd like to continue this conversation, we'll soon have people to feed."
I kissed her. "I know."
"So, Niles.?"
"Daphne?"
"The wine?"
"The wine. Right."
I heard her low chuckle as I advanced toward the kitchen. It was then that the doorbell rang.
***
I couldn't help but sigh, watching my family move toward the door after a lovely evening. Frasier and Roz had joked throughout the entire dinner; their strange chemistry worked so well. They shared stories about the radio show and other moments in our lives I remembered so well. Ten years together, all of us. All filled with funny anecdotes and hilarious moments. And those of me, the shy Niles who wanted the beautiful Daphne to love him... now all of those things were funny and sweet, and Daphne enjoyed all of them, sending me little winks during the conversations, and blushing when Roz said something indiscreet...
Daphne had her own stories, like the one when she discovered my feelings for her, thanks to my drugged brother. Frasier tried to dodge the subject several times when my father asked him why he blamed Roz for that pivotal revelation.
Such wonderful times.
I smiled the entire evening, not only amused but touched. Pure nostalgia rose inside of me. I beheld my brother, my father, my good friend and my wife... all which made life dear.
I watched Daphne enter the hallway to walk them to the elevator, and realized that I was suddenly alone.
I had a peculiar feeling. I closed my eyes for a moment.
Then I rose from my chair and walked upstairs
The bedroom door was open and blue light poured out from inside.
I sighed and stepped into the room, closing the door behind me.
The moon glowed outside the balcony door. My eyes closed, my memories quieted, and the last thing I heard, before darkness overcame me, was my mother telling me I had nothing to be afraid of.
*** Suddenly I was eight years old again.
The big, blue moon was visible in the window when I opened my eyes.
But why was it so dark in here ?
Was I dead? Had I died alone in the darkness?
"Mother!"
Just silence.
"Motherrrr!!"
The door to my room opened. My mother, Hester, was standing there.
"Niles?"
"Mother..." I said, relieved, looking at her as she drew closer. "Mother, I..."
"What's wrong, baby?"
"I'm so scared, Mom," I said in childish angst. "Look out there!!....Look at the moon!"
Mother smiled
"What about it?"
"It's looking right at me!" I said, pointing out the window.
"Really?" She yawned. "You don't have to be afraid of the moon, Niles."
"It looks like it wants to swallow me up!" I was so frightened.
"Niles..." my mother said. "Have I ever told you about the man in the moon?"
I looked out my window intently.
"The man in the moon?"
"Yes... " she said, caressing my hands. "He's the man who will take care of you in your sleep...the man in the moon..."
"Tell me more."
"When you go to sleep, and nightmares come, the man in the moon sends lunar dust to wipe them down, turning them into sweet dreams," she said. "You mustn't worry about the moon taking you with him...for if he does...you will sleep peacefully forever."
"Really?" I asked, incredulous. "You mean I will never have nightmares again?"
"Never." Mother assured. "Now, go to sleep, son. The man in the moon will take care of you."
"I will." I lay my small body down, allowing my mother to fix the blanket.
"Good night, sweet boy, " she said, and walked to the door.
"Will he take care of you, too, Mother?" I asked. "Will the moon take you to sweet dreams?"
"Honey, I promise, I will always have sweet dreams..."
"And will you come to my dreams?" I asked hopefully.
"All the time, my love... I will be there when you go to sleep...I promise...I will never let you feel scared and will be there to protect you from whatever befalls you... but for now, sleep in peace, my son."
That was the last thing I remember about that night.
*** I opened my eyes.
Worried faces surrounded me....
I had no idea where I was, except that I was lying in a narrow bed.
I tried to sit up but found it impossible. I felt weak and dizzy. And confused.
"Niles?" Daphne asked, timidly.
I rolled my eyes to look at her and smiled weakly.
"Daphne."
"How do you feel, brother?" Frasier asked, his expression the very definition of worry.
"Hey, son." Dad smiled at me, but fear was etched in his face.
"Where am I?" I asked.
"You're in hospital, sweetheart," Daphne explained.
Hospital?
"I died.?" I whispered, and that was enough for Daphne to burst into tears and fling herself into Roz's arms.
I frowned. "But he protects me...they...protect me ..."
A man I couldn't see then spoke.
"He is beginning to feel the effects of the anesthetics."
Frasier leaned down toward my face. "Niles, can you hear me? You passed out in your apartment this evening, after we left. Daphne found you and called 911, and the paramedics brought you here. They did some tests and it seems that you need. heart surgery. Something with a valve..." Frasier groaned at his words.
"Surgery?"
Daphne began to calm. "I signed the consent forms, Niles. You'll see. It'll be Ok, love."
"Ok. It's Ok," I said dreamily. "They'll take care of me."
No one in the room could know that I wasn't talking about the doctors.
The surgeon spoke again. "We'll be taking him up very soon. There's a lounge outside the operating theatre, I'll see that someone shows you up there."
"Thank you, doctor."
Roz said, "We'll be outside, Daph."
In a small procession, Roz, Frasier and Dad left the room..
"I'll be here, Darling, when you come round. I love you," Daphne said. I nodded, looking at her get up from the bed.
I smiled weakly. I was so tired. "It's. all right, Daph. they'll protect me. not yet."
***
I sat sideways on the worn vinyl couch in the waiting area near the operating rooms. I was hugging my knees and realized I'd been biting my lip. I stared off into space.
I realized I was, effectively, in shock.
Suddenly I felt a warm hand on my arm.
I raised my head and turned. I smiled slightly as I regarded Frasier handing me a plastic cup of orange juice.
"More nutrition than coffee. Please, drink it, Daph."
I took the cup and sipped. "Thanks, Frasier."
He grasped my shoulder and sat next to me. "It's going to be all right, Daphne. I know these doctors. And I know about Niles' condition. The procedure is routine for patients with his problem, and."
I suddenly began crying quietly. Tears ran down my face and I trembled.
"Frasier." I choked. "I know you mean well. But... I can't help it. We haven't had that much time together. I know that. seems like a silly thought, I mean, we've known.. each other for ten years, but. we're so newly married, and I love him. so much, and I couldn't. bear. it... if." I let out a sob.
Frasier rubbed my arm. "Shhhh. I know."
I tried to compose myself. "Let's not discuss it any further. Let's just wait for the doctor, Ok?"
I was sniffling, and exhausted.
Frasier pulled me into a warm hug, nearly spilling my juice.
"Ok, Daph. But believe me, he'll be fine."
I hugged him back, resting my head on his large shoulder. "I know. Thank you. You're so good to me. I. know this is hard for you and Martin, too."
"You're the best sister-in-law I've ever had."
I raised my head and smiled for the first time since the ordeal had begun. "Well, that's not much of a compliment!"
Frasier chuckled. "At least I got you to smile."
Just then Martin came limping back from the men's room and stopped beside us.
"Any word?"
"No, Dad, but. it's early yet."
***
I was drifting in and out of a troubled sleep when I heard heavy footsteps coming down the hall. I opened my eyes to see Frasier get up, and I slid around on the couch so that my feet touched the floor.
The surgeon approached us.
I got up.
Martin stood anxiously, leaning on his cane.
The doctor smiled.
"Good news to report, Mrs. Crane, and family. Niles came through the procedure very well, the valve was an easy repair. Smoothest operation of it's kind I have seen. He is in the recovery room, still under heavy sedation. Should be coming around in about an hour. Why don't you all go get something to eat and come back after? He should be ready to see you then."
Frasier let out a huge sigh. "Thank God! Thank you so much, Doctor.!"
Martin's face softened.
And what did I do? I collapsed to the floor in tears.
Frasier and Martin were on me immediately, raising me up. They helped me to a chair and eased me into it.
Frasier stroked my arm and handed me his handkerchief. "Daphne, he's Ok. Everything's going to be fine."
"Yeah, Daph."
I dried my eyes and sniffled. "I know. I'm sorry. I guess I just had to let it. all out."
Frasier smiled and squeezed my arm. "Of course, I should have known."
Brilliant psychiatrist, my brother-in-law.
***
By the time we returned Niles had been brought back to his room. I was given permission to see him. I asked if his father and brother could join me, and was told yes, but briefly.
Frasier and Martin told me to go first.
I opened the door and peeked in. Niles seemed to still be asleep. He was so still.
I inched toward the hospital bed and looked at my husband.
He appeared so small, so... slight.
I thought of the many nights when he held me after making love. He was so big then, so enveloping.
I sat gingerly on the side of his bed. I was almost afraid to touch him. He had an oxygen tube in his nose and an IV in a hand.
It all looked so scary.
He licked his lips, which seemed dry. Spotting a tube of lubricant on the nightstand, I squeezed some on my finger and applied it to his lips. Then I leaned down and gently kissed them.
His eyes fluttered open.
"Daph. Daphne?"
"I'm here, Niles."
"What. am I . did the.. operation.?"
"Niles, my sweet love. You are going to be fine. They say it all went as well as possible. You should be back home with me very soon, honey."
I saw the smile. It was weak, but there.
Frasier and Martin appeared at the door. I motioned them in.
"Niles," I said quietly. "You father and brother are here."
He turned his head slightly toward the door. "Dad? Frasier?"
"How ya feel, son?"
Niles groaned. "Like I've been hit by a bus. How do I look?"
Frasier chuckled. "Like you were hit by a bus."
"Ow. Don't make me laugh, Frasier. It. really went Ok?"
"Like clockwork, to borrow a tired phrase."
Niles let out a small sigh. "That's a relief."
Martin put his hand on his older son's shoulder and started for the door. "C'mon, Fras. We should let him rest."
Frasier followed. "We'll see you tomorrow, Niles."
"Ok. And, oh, guys.?"
They stopped.
"Thanks for being here."
"We wouldn't have been anywhere else, son."
I smiled at them. "I'll just be a minute."
Frasier led his father out the door. "Take as long as you need, Daph."
They were gone.
I turned back to my patient and stroked his forehead. He raised his unencumbered hand and touched my cheek.
"Were you scared.?" he whispered.
I fought back tears. I mustn't cry, not in front of him.
"Oh, Niles, of course. Terrified."
"I'm so sorry." He swallowed.
"Don't be silly. We didn't see this coming. We're just lucky they caught it before it got worse." I secured the oxygen tube in his nose and caressed his cheek.
"I know." He looked so tired, poor thing. "Daphne."
"What, sweet?"
He weakly took my hand. "I couldn't have made it without you."
"Oh, Niles."
Then I saw a real smile. "I can't wait," he whispered, "to be lying in our bed again, holding you to me. Gazing at the moon together. The man in the moon is still there..."
Oh, dear, not this moon thing again.
"One thing at a time, love."
I leaned down and kissed his lips once more, and this time was kissed back.
He closed his eyes. "Whatever is in that bag," he motioned toward the IV, "is making me so sleepy."
"Get some rest, love. I'll be back in the morning."
"I.. love you."
I allowed the tears this time and whispered, "Oh, Niles, I love you, too."
"They protected me..." He drifted off.
***
I pulled the door closed behind me. Having returned Frasier's handkerchief, I reached into my pocket for another. I dabbed my eyes with it.
Frasier and Martin were there waiting for me.
Frasier took my hand. "Any better now, Daph?"
I sniffed. "Yeah. A bit. He just looks so helpless lying there with all that. medical stuff around."
"Stiff upper lip, now," he said, assumingly in deference to my heritage. "Before you know it you'll have your arms around a crisp Armani suit again. Or more likely, an Oriental dressing gown."
I smiled. "Know him pretty well, don't you, Frasier?"
He put his arm around me. "Come on, you're coming home with us tonight. I'll call one of our regular restaurants and order dinner delivered. You can get some rest."
"Yeah, Daph. We can't have you rattling around that huge place of yours alone."
How lucky I am, I thought, to have the love of the three sweetest men in the world.
"Come on, then, you old sods. Let's get out of here."
***
Niles was already in bed when I returned from the bathroom. He was clad in his usual silk pajamas and was facing away from me, covers tightly pulled up.
I pulled back the bedclothes on my side and slid in next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"Hey, love. You asleep?"
He lay very still. "No."
Tonight I was determined to put an end to our. physical separation. I began caressing his arm. Kissing his neck, I reached around and started to unbutton his top.
He stopped my hand with his. "Daphne."
I sighed in frustration. "What?"
"I. I can't do this, not. not yet. Give me a. little longer.."
I sat up. "Honey, you're fine. You heard what the doctor said this afternoon. You are fully recovered, and you should begin to resume your normal life. Including your love life with your wife. He said it would be good for you."
Niles rubbed his forehead. "I heard what he said. But I just. can't. not yet."
"Niles, it's been three months."
He leaned up on one elbow, his head bowed. "I know. I'm sorry.."
"Bloody hell!" I threw back the covers, got up and stalked out of the room.
I stopped on the stairway landing and fought back tears. When I'd composed myself I walked down the three steps to the balcony and went outside.
The night was clear and chilly. I walked over to the railing and leaned on it, taking a deep breath.
Lord, will this ever be over? I'm not. angry with him, that's not it. But. God, this has been so bloody awful. Why can't he see it has to be put behind us? I love him so much, why can't we.can't it be over.
I wept quietly.
I felt two warm hands on my shoulders. I hadn't heard him come out.
"Daphne, come back to bed. Please."
I turned around and looked into his eyes.
And saw the fear in them.
"Niles.. I love you. please know that."
He grabbed me into a fierce hug. "Oh, Darling, I love you so much. You have been my reason for fighting through all of this. Don't ever forget that."
I cried, burying my face in his shoulder and rubbed his back. "I know. I know. this has been hard on us both, but." I pulled back to look at him. "Niles, everyone but you knows you're fine now. You have to get rid of this anxiety! I have, and I was petrified during it all. Why can't you?" I stroked his cheek.
He smiled. "The real question is, why can't I get used to the fact that you are always right?"
He cupped my chin with his hand and kissed my lips softly.
With that I couldn't resist. I put my hand behind his neck and drew him into a deep, open kiss. This time he didn't retreat, but returned it. Like the Niles I'd always known.
His lips left mine and he looked into my eyes, wiping a tear with his thumb.
"Come back to bed? he asked quietly. "You won't be sorry."
I smiled. "Now there's an offer I can't refuse."
As we walked inside I saw him briefly glance back at the moon.
***
We lay nestled together, holding tightly, skin against skin, sated. With my head in the crook of his neck, I gently ran one finger down the long scar in the middle of his chest.
"This still hurt?"
"On occasion. More like a numb tingle. Ugly thing, isn't it?"
"On the contrary. I think it's lovely?"
"You have to be kidding. How can you possibly."
I stopped him with a finger on his lips. "Because it's part of you now. And because, love. if this weren't here. you mightn't be, either."
He kissed the finger. "I guess you're right. Again."
I chuckled and turned over, pulling his arm around me. "Get used to it." I fell asleep.
*** I watched my lovely wife as she drifted into slumber. And thanked God for her.
It's going to be a special Thanksgiving this year, I thought.
I gave slient thanks to the man in the moon, and.
Thank you, Mother.
"You're welcome son. Sweet dreams."
With my cheek on Daphne's shoulder, I promptly joined her in dreamless sleep.
The End
Note: We swear that we wrote the final scenes before 'Rooms With a View' aired, having only read the brief teaser blurbs for the basic idea..
Harold and Maude's
Tales from the Heart
The Man in the Moon
MaudeOFic@aol.com
Harrythebirdanderson@yahoo.com
I, Niles Crane, considered myself a lucky man.
It is incredible how love can change a person.
Being loved makes you see everything differently. Your everyday problems seem a lot less difficult, and just thinking about the one who loves you makes you smile. That often ends a problem before it even begins.
Love makes you feel invincible, almost untouchable.
More than lucky, I considered myself a winner.
As I walked down the hallway of our building I smiled in greeting to my neighbors like I always had. But lately my attitude was different. Now I was smiling sincerely, something they were not used to, I think. One often fakes a smile when one is not happy. People are more used to sadness than joy these days.
But I didn't care. It really didn't matter what those people thought as long as Daphne was with me.
Daphne. My wife.
I put the box I'd been carrying on the floor and used my key to unlock the door .
Daphne's things were heavy but, no matter. Still smiling, I brought the box inside. It was our third trip from the car.
I heard her voice behind me in the hall. She was talking to a neighbor, perhaps introducing herself.
Darling Daphne.
I was about to go back out when she appeared at the door, smiling at me from behind another box.
"Oh, here, love, let me help you with that," I said, promptly taking it. It was heavier than the others.
"Thank you, honey," she said, closing the door. "Mrs. Monroe sends her greetings...she is such a nice old lady ..."
"Wait until she tries to get you involved in her personal crusade for more parking space!"
I dropped the box and sat on the fainting couch. "Whew! That weighs a ton!"
"There are more, I'm afraid, back at your brother's," she said, sitting next to me.
"Oh, goody."
Daphne laughed and hugged me. "It's Ok, we can get them tomorrow."
"So tell me," I said. "How did Dad take your actual move out?"
"Well," she said as she leaned back. "The sweet old man couldn't admit he felt sad about it." Daphne smiled. "So, when Eddie curled up on the couch and looked forlorn, he told me it was our little pooch who was sad because I wouldn't be there ..."
"Really?" I chuckled. That's Dad. Hard on the outside, tender on the inside.
I looked at her with love.
"He will miss you."
"I know."
"Frasier will, too. I wonder how they'll resolve their spats now."
Daphne chuckled. "Oh, they'll survive."
"We'll have get together for dinner at least once a week, don't you think?"
"Oh, Niles, that's a wonderful idea," Daphne agreed. "Just like in old times, when people were all together, like a family."
"We are a family." I got up and took a deep breath. "Now all we need is for Roz to marry Frasier to complete the set!"
She laughed.
"How about some champagne? To celebrate."
"That would be lovely."
I walked toward the kitchen
As I pushed the door open a sudden twinge in my chest stopped me at the threshold.
My right arm flew to the place where it was.
But it was already gone.
Probably just muscle strain from the boxes.
Caressing my left arm, I opened the fridge and pulled out the bottle of champagne.
I sighed. God, I was tired.
Pulling out a kitchen chair, I sat.
Closing my eyes, I felt better. Then I felt a breeze. It was like the kiss of a soft, warm wind on my face. I noticed a familiar aroma, a fragrance I hadn't known in ages. A protective figure caressed my hair tenderly.
I felt. comforted.
Nothing could hurt me here.
The voice broke the spell, a voice that made my eyes widen.
"My sweet Niles."
I was resting my head on the table. The bottle of champagne bottle was sitting at my feet.
What was going on?
My heart was pounding and I sat up straight in the chair. I suddenly felt scared and. sad.
Then at once. peaceful.
Mother.
The voice I heard had been hers, I had no doubt. Must have been a dream.
I retrieved the bottle from the floor just as Daphne walked into the kitchen.
"What is taking you so long?" she asked.
I tried to regain control of myself. I didn't want to worry her.
"I'm sorry, love," I stalled. "I was just.."
"You have been in here for fifteen minutes. Are you Ok? You look tired, Niles."
Fifteen minutes?
A good explanation...yeah, I was tired.
"I am, I guess. Those boxes really were heavy, at least for me!" I tried to fake cheer while Daphne fetched two flutes.
"Well, no more boxes for now, Dr. Crane." She caressed my arm. "Let's take our champagne upstairs. You deserve a special reward for helping me today..."
"And just what do you have in mind?"
"You'll see. "
We went up to our bedroom.
* * *
Some hours later I woke up.
For a fleeting moment I saw only darkness. My eyes soon got used to it. I looked toward the nightstand where the clock read 12:04.
Daphne was sleeping peacefully. Her naked body was half covered by the bedclothes.
I pulled the covers up over her. What a blessing she is, I thought, caressing her back. She will be with me forever. I will never be alone again.
I knew I was, indeed, a lucky man.
Yet, what had happened in the kitchen earlier made me feel uneasy. What really happened there, anyway? Had I been sleeping? Or was it something else? I could swear it was Mother who spoke to me. Could it have been?
And what about that strange feeling of peace?
I rubbed my left arm again...was I just tired?
Daphne sighed and turned to face me. She looked so beautiful in her sleep.
I got up from the bed, taking care not to wake her. I put on my robe and walked out onto the balcony.
The moon was shining brightly. I looked at it for along time.
What a warm glow it gave, there above in the sky. It seemed to be inviting me to fly out into the night. The bright light somehow made me feel incredibly secure.
Standing there, I knew I needed nothing else right now. My Daphne was in our room asleep, and I was here on the balcony, savoring the light of the moon on a peaceful night, in a city where it rained most of the time.
No clouds covered the sky and a soft wind caressed my face, like the hands of my mother.
Looking at the man in the moon...
I smiled at the memory of her. Hester, my mother, telling me the story of the man in the moon...the one that took my nightmares away... the one that made me sleep peacefully... the man who lived in the moon watched me sleep. He took care of me.
I was just a kid, I thought, amusedly.
I looked over my shoulder. Daphne was still sleeping deeply. Good.
I slowly dragged a chair out to the balcony and sat, staring at the beautiful moon.
I closed my eyes...
The silence surrounded me, but I was not afraid. That silence was actually filled with the voices of the people I loved. I could hear them talking cheerfully, calling to me...but calling me to where?
I wanted to open my eyes...
But I couldn't.
Had I dozed off?
No, but. I was unable to open my eyes, or even move...
Please. Not yet!
***
I felt somebody shaking me and a female voice calling my name..
I opened my eyes, grateful that I finally could.
"Niles?"
Daphne's face was in front of mine.
The moon was gone, replaced by a shining sun.
"Whatever are you doing out here?" she asked. "Was I snoring again?" she chuckled.
"I...no, I." I tried to tell her what had happened but any explanation eluded me.
"Darling, you're so cold!" She rubbed my forearms. "Seriously, Niles, I don't know why you were sleeping out here. The weather is getting cooler ..."
I touched my forehead.
Cold.
My heart skipped a beat.
I tried to smile and couldn't...
Daphne seemed to notice my pained expression and her smile vanished.
"Niles? Honey?"
"Daphne..." I said. It sounded like a plea. "I... the moon."
She grabbed me by the shoulder.
"What about the moon? Niles, are you all right?" she asked in alarm. "Do you want me to take you to hospital?"
"I...had this dream... about the moon, and." I said, probably looking at her like a madman.
Her expression softened.
"You had a nightmare!" she sighed and patted my shoulder. "Well, if you keep scaring me like that I will surely have a heart attack!"
She pulled her bathrobe tighter. "Niles, come inside, it's too cold to be sitting out here. I'll just jump in the shower..." she said. "Then I'll fix us some breakfast."
"Ok."
She headed for the bathroom.
But I just stayed in the chair, my mind a turmoil of fear and frustration... What was happening?
I rose and breathed deeply, looking at the city below, hearing the din of the cars and feeling the rays of sun on my face. The uneasy feeling remained.
Was something going to happen to me?
"No," I said, softly. "Not yet."
***
I still had my key and unlocked the door to Frasier's apartment. I found him sitting on the sofa.
My brother-in-law was reading a book and listening to one of his beloved operas.
"Hey, Frasier."
"Daphne." He put the book aside and rose to greet me. "Dad will be ready in a minute. Please, have a seat and enjoy your old home for a bit."
"Thanks," I said, joining him on the couch.
"So, um. do you think you'll finish moving your things out soon?"
I smiled knowingly. "Yes, Frasier. When Niles comes by later I'll be officially out of your hair. Then you can have that reading sanctuary you have been dreaming about for so long."
Frasier grinned like a boy who knows Santa is coming to town.
"You don't have to be that happy about it, you bloody sod!"
"Oh, no Daphne." he tried to cover.
I laughed. "Oh, it's all right. I know it's nothing personal."
"Indeed. So, how is my brother?"
I sighed, remembering this morning. "Ok, I guess."
Frasier turned to look at me. "Something wrong?"
"Well, perhaps. not really.oh, I don't know!"
"What is it, Daph?"
I told him about finding my husband in the cold on our balcony, having apparently slept there all night.
"Did you two have a spat?"
I smiled. "No, quite the contrary. We had a wonderful time last night."
Frasier looked at me sideways. "Please, spare me the details."
I grinned. "Oh, like I'd tell you anything!" I grew worried again. "But this morning.well, it was just strange, Frasier. Niles on the balcony. He kept talking about the moon."
"Ah. That's easy enough to explain. He and our mother had some special thing together about the moon. A secret, just between them. Then, there's you, of course. Moon? Perhaps he was dreaming about you."
I smiled. "Perhaps.."
Frasier put his arm around my shoulder. "I'm sure it's nothing. By now you must know my brother is a bit. frayed around the edges."
I chuckled. "Well, I guess that's one way of putting it."
"Just keep an eye on him. You're both OK."
I smiled at my old boss and new relative. "You're probably right. Why don't I make some coffee? I think I can still find my way around your kitchen."
"Sounds good, Daph. What's Niles up to today, anyway?"
"He has patients this morning," I called from the kitchen. "We're meeting for lunch later. That reminds me..." I stood in the doorway. "Niles and I have been talking, and we think it'd be nice to set a date for all of us to gather for dinner, say, once a week. You know, just the family."
"I can remember a time when I was terrified Niles would invite me to have dinner with him and his wife," Martin chimed in as he walked into the living room. "Now I am more than happy to accept!"
"Sounds good to me, too, Daph."
"Great!" I handed my brother-in-law his coffee. "How about this Friday at our place, to start? Oh, and invite Roz, she's part of the family, too."
"Indeed," Frasier smiled. "I'll ask her this afternoon."
"Perfect! So, shall we head out for that walk, Martin?"
"Lead the way." He motioned me to the door.
Eddie ran in from my old room. Leash in mouth, he jumped over the couch and over Frasier, landing next to Martin and me. Apparently, in his excitement about our walk together, his master was forgetting something... like the dog!
Martin blushed. "Oops, sorry, boy."
Eddie barked excitedly.
Sweet old Martin.
***
"So..." I asked when we got to the park "How is everything going?"
Daphne released Eddie from his leash and we watched him run to meet his four legged friends.
"Wonderful," she said. "I'm getting settled in. I know Niles hates my unicorns, but he didn't say a word when I placed them on the shelf next to that dragon Roz gave him."
"Maybe he hopes they will all break at once ..." I chuckled. "By accident, of course."
"Perhaps," she smiled. "But that won't happen if he doesn't want that Italian sculpture of his to vanish into the storage bin in the basement!"
"As he would say," I imitated, as best as I could, my younger son's voice, "touché!"
The joke made her laugh heartily.
"You're terrible, Martin!" She gasped for breath. "You must have had your wife in stitches all the time."
"Well," I scratched my forehead. "Hester was a cultured woman, but you know. she had this particularity that made me love her even more." I smiled at her memory. "It didn't matter how much she loved opera and French food, she always had time for a baseball game, a hot dog and good conversation with cops who would never have wine with dinner...."
"It would be a miracle if Niles ever ate a hot dog!" Daphne chuckled.
"Our boys got two things from Hester," I said. "Her culture and taste, but more important, they inherited her big heart. That is something I always see in my sons. They can be snobs, but you can't deny that those two have hearts of gold."
"I know," she said. "Tell me, Martin. who was the closest to his mother? Frasier or Niles?"
"Oh, Niles, without question," I said.
"Really?"
"I could tell you about hundreds of times when he called for his mother in the night, seeking her comfort after a bad dream," I said. "She was the parent he needed most."
"Did that bother you?"
I shook my head. "I had Frasier..."
"You did?"
"He had nightmares, too. And always called for me."
"What did you do?"
I grinned. "I would tell him that I would force the monsters out of his bedroom by threatening them with a baseball bat." I leaned back. "I would walk in carrying an old bat and say, 'Hello, Mr. Monster, guess what I have here...." I chuckled. "Didn't take long to get him back to sleep."
Daphne laughed.
"Worked every time."
She folded her arms.
"And what about Niles?"
"Niles is a lot more sensitive than Frasier, you must know that," I sighed. "Whenever he had nightmares or was afraid to go to sleep, Hester talked to him. She made up this story about the man in the moon who was always watching him, protecting. It made him feel secure and calmed him down."
"The man in the moon? That might explain a few things."
I didn't ask what she meant by that.
"He still misses her terribly, you know."
I smiled sadly. "He's not the only one, Daph."
"I know." Daphne sighed. "Well, we seem to be doing all right... we are a family now and that means so much to me."
"And to us, too. Always remember that, Daph. When I think back to all those years he wasted with Maris. It was hard to watch him being absorbed in her shallow world. I knew there was so much more to him than that. I was delighted when he came to his senses and got out of that marriage. And even more pleased," I said, looking at her, "when he found you. You know that Niles can't picture a life with you."
"And I can't picture my life without him. Whenever think about the journey that brought us here, well. it just makes me fall in love with him all over again."
I patted her shoulder and got up from the bench, stretching. "Well, enough mushy talk. We'd better get back."
*** The moon.
The big blue moon over Seattle.
I could see it through the balcony doors, sending its glow right to me, inviting me to sit outside as I had the night before.
I didn't want to go out... but my feet were slowly taking me that way.
I moved closer, my eyes fixed on the beautiful moon.
How peaceful it must be to lay under that glow, the bright halo that would take me to eternal peace. I would love to be there, enjoying the night that never ends, the night no one fears, the night we all will know one day. I am ready...
No!
I stepped backward into the bedroom until my heels hit the bed frame.
I was terrified.
The moon then took cover behind a cloud that. wasn't even there a second ago.
The room became dark again.
Daphne was sleeping peacefully.
My heart thumping, I returned to our bed and closed my eyes.
I repressed a scream when something landed on my chest.
Daphne's arm.
I looked at her, trying to recover control.
"Daphne..." I whispered.
She didn't reply.
I hugged her closer and felt immediately safe.
Then the moon sent her glow once more through the glass door, but I closed my eyes tight. My heart raced in my chest. I didn't know why, but I was so scared. This wasn't the man in the moon I remembered.
I began to shiver and hugged Daphne even tighter.
She opened her eyes and discovered my pale face in front of hers.
"Niles...."
"Daphne...oh Daphne!" I buried my face in her shoulder. "I am so frightened...."
"Nightmares again?"
"I don't know..." I whispered. "I don't know."
Daphne stroked my hair.
"There, there...." she said, "You don't have to worry, I am here now ...you know that, don't you?"
"I know. It is just that ..."
Suddenly a shock wave rippled through me.
Daphne's eyes were glowing and a deep blue light poured out of them... I got lost in that light. It was the same light I saw on the balcony...and...
and...
I screamed and woke up.
The pressure in my chest vanished as I leaped from my chair.
I was alone in my office.
The intercom buzzing startled me.
"Dr. Crane? Are you all right?"
I had to calm her.
"I'm fine, Clarice..."
There was brief silence on the other side of the machine.
"Are you sure, Doctor?" My secretary sounded worried. "I thought I heard."
"It's Ok, Clarice I...I need some rest, that's all ..."
"Want me to cancel the rest of your appointments?"
"Please..." I said quickly.
"Should I do it now or when I return from lunch?"
I looked at my watch. 1: 30.
"Go get something to eat..." I said distractedly.
"Want me to bring you something?"
"No, thank you."
I released the switch.
"What is happening to me?" I asked out loud.
No answer came... but something moved inside the room. I wasn't sure how I knew, but I felt something there, looking at me, circling like a graceful ballet dancer. At that moment the pressure in my chest returned. I couldn't breathe or move.
"Don't you know what is happening to you?" a voice asked. "You're a doctor, you must know..."
Then the feeling disappeared, as if those words had been a command for it to stop. Suddenly unable to stay on my feet, I collapsed to the couch nearby. A question, now inevitable, came to me.
"When?"
Her voice came to me in a whisper.
"Today."
A heavy load fell over my shoulders.
Am I going to die? Is that what you mean by 'today'?
Was there something I could do?
Somehow I knew there was nothing, and to be honest, I was not afraid. Mother would be there to protect me.
Hester. My dear mother.
She was the one responsible for me still being here. Four times in the last few days she had been there, making me go back, always to Daphne.
So why today?
Why, on the day when my brother and father would be at our home, spending an evening with my wife and me? I sensed that everything was about to change, somehow.
I realized that the time Daphne and I had to be together could end any day. The life I had with her could be over at any time. And I knew that not even death could take her from my heart.
I also knew that even Heaven would be torture without her.
"Today." I heard Mother's voice. "Go tell her you love her now... do not waste any time."
Waste time.
"Tempus fugit."
"I know," I smiled, feeling a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Time flies..."
"Think of this as a gift, my Niles. We all would like to have time to tell the people we love how deeply we care for them..."
***
An hour later, I locked the door to my office. I had finished cleaning and sorting my files. I left a list of competent psychiatrists who could take over my patients.
I had also located my will and insurance papers and placed them in the top drawer of the desk.
And, finally.
The most painful thing to do.
I left a farewell letter for my beloved family, and a separate one for my wife, that joined the documents in the same drawer.
***
When I opened the door I saw Daphne placing dishes on the table.
She had a soft aria playing on the stereo, one I recognized as that I'd selected that time with Phyllis. The music masked my footsteps.
She was wearing a red dress and her soft hair brushed her shoulders. And none of that mattered. I suddenly was not looking at how beautiful she was. I saw the essence of the person I loved. I was sure she would be there for me eternally. Daphne Moon, now Daphne Crane. There was no end to the sweet memories we shared. How many would I be allowed to take with me?
"Oh, there you are," she said.
"Do you have any idea how beautiful you look today?" I asked.
"Thank you, love," she smiled, not stopping her task. "Dinner's almost ready, they'll be here shortly. Wine's in the fridge, could you open it for me?"
"You know, Daphne," I said, almost unconsciously. "I will always cheerish the moments I spend with you. They are precious to me in ways you'd never imagine."
She put down the forks in a pile and walked over to me.
"Niles?" She stroked my temple. "What's this about? Is something wrong? You have been acting so strangely lately."
I blinked and came out of my. trance, or whatever it was. The last few days had indeed been surreal.
"No, nothing. I just. sometimes get overwhelmed by. how much you mean to me."
She smiled. "Well, you mean the world to me, too, pet. And as much as I'd like to continue this conversation, we'll soon have people to feed."
I kissed her. "I know."
"So, Niles.?"
"Daphne?"
"The wine?"
"The wine. Right."
I heard her low chuckle as I advanced toward the kitchen. It was then that the doorbell rang.
***
I couldn't help but sigh, watching my family move toward the door after a lovely evening. Frasier and Roz had joked throughout the entire dinner; their strange chemistry worked so well. They shared stories about the radio show and other moments in our lives I remembered so well. Ten years together, all of us. All filled with funny anecdotes and hilarious moments. And those of me, the shy Niles who wanted the beautiful Daphne to love him... now all of those things were funny and sweet, and Daphne enjoyed all of them, sending me little winks during the conversations, and blushing when Roz said something indiscreet...
Daphne had her own stories, like the one when she discovered my feelings for her, thanks to my drugged brother. Frasier tried to dodge the subject several times when my father asked him why he blamed Roz for that pivotal revelation.
Such wonderful times.
I smiled the entire evening, not only amused but touched. Pure nostalgia rose inside of me. I beheld my brother, my father, my good friend and my wife... all which made life dear.
I watched Daphne enter the hallway to walk them to the elevator, and realized that I was suddenly alone.
I had a peculiar feeling. I closed my eyes for a moment.
Then I rose from my chair and walked upstairs
The bedroom door was open and blue light poured out from inside.
I sighed and stepped into the room, closing the door behind me.
The moon glowed outside the balcony door. My eyes closed, my memories quieted, and the last thing I heard, before darkness overcame me, was my mother telling me I had nothing to be afraid of.
*** Suddenly I was eight years old again.
The big, blue moon was visible in the window when I opened my eyes.
But why was it so dark in here ?
Was I dead? Had I died alone in the darkness?
"Mother!"
Just silence.
"Motherrrr!!"
The door to my room opened. My mother, Hester, was standing there.
"Niles?"
"Mother..." I said, relieved, looking at her as she drew closer. "Mother, I..."
"What's wrong, baby?"
"I'm so scared, Mom," I said in childish angst. "Look out there!!....Look at the moon!"
Mother smiled
"What about it?"
"It's looking right at me!" I said, pointing out the window.
"Really?" She yawned. "You don't have to be afraid of the moon, Niles."
"It looks like it wants to swallow me up!" I was so frightened.
"Niles..." my mother said. "Have I ever told you about the man in the moon?"
I looked out my window intently.
"The man in the moon?"
"Yes... " she said, caressing my hands. "He's the man who will take care of you in your sleep...the man in the moon..."
"Tell me more."
"When you go to sleep, and nightmares come, the man in the moon sends lunar dust to wipe them down, turning them into sweet dreams," she said. "You mustn't worry about the moon taking you with him...for if he does...you will sleep peacefully forever."
"Really?" I asked, incredulous. "You mean I will never have nightmares again?"
"Never." Mother assured. "Now, go to sleep, son. The man in the moon will take care of you."
"I will." I lay my small body down, allowing my mother to fix the blanket.
"Good night, sweet boy, " she said, and walked to the door.
"Will he take care of you, too, Mother?" I asked. "Will the moon take you to sweet dreams?"
"Honey, I promise, I will always have sweet dreams..."
"And will you come to my dreams?" I asked hopefully.
"All the time, my love... I will be there when you go to sleep...I promise...I will never let you feel scared and will be there to protect you from whatever befalls you... but for now, sleep in peace, my son."
That was the last thing I remember about that night.
*** I opened my eyes.
Worried faces surrounded me....
I had no idea where I was, except that I was lying in a narrow bed.
I tried to sit up but found it impossible. I felt weak and dizzy. And confused.
"Niles?" Daphne asked, timidly.
I rolled my eyes to look at her and smiled weakly.
"Daphne."
"How do you feel, brother?" Frasier asked, his expression the very definition of worry.
"Hey, son." Dad smiled at me, but fear was etched in his face.
"Where am I?" I asked.
"You're in hospital, sweetheart," Daphne explained.
Hospital?
"I died.?" I whispered, and that was enough for Daphne to burst into tears and fling herself into Roz's arms.
I frowned. "But he protects me...they...protect me ..."
A man I couldn't see then spoke.
"He is beginning to feel the effects of the anesthetics."
Frasier leaned down toward my face. "Niles, can you hear me? You passed out in your apartment this evening, after we left. Daphne found you and called 911, and the paramedics brought you here. They did some tests and it seems that you need. heart surgery. Something with a valve..." Frasier groaned at his words.
"Surgery?"
Daphne began to calm. "I signed the consent forms, Niles. You'll see. It'll be Ok, love."
"Ok. It's Ok," I said dreamily. "They'll take care of me."
No one in the room could know that I wasn't talking about the doctors.
The surgeon spoke again. "We'll be taking him up very soon. There's a lounge outside the operating theatre, I'll see that someone shows you up there."
"Thank you, doctor."
Roz said, "We'll be outside, Daph."
In a small procession, Roz, Frasier and Dad left the room..
"I'll be here, Darling, when you come round. I love you," Daphne said. I nodded, looking at her get up from the bed.
I smiled weakly. I was so tired. "It's. all right, Daph. they'll protect me. not yet."
***
I sat sideways on the worn vinyl couch in the waiting area near the operating rooms. I was hugging my knees and realized I'd been biting my lip. I stared off into space.
I realized I was, effectively, in shock.
Suddenly I felt a warm hand on my arm.
I raised my head and turned. I smiled slightly as I regarded Frasier handing me a plastic cup of orange juice.
"More nutrition than coffee. Please, drink it, Daph."
I took the cup and sipped. "Thanks, Frasier."
He grasped my shoulder and sat next to me. "It's going to be all right, Daphne. I know these doctors. And I know about Niles' condition. The procedure is routine for patients with his problem, and."
I suddenly began crying quietly. Tears ran down my face and I trembled.
"Frasier." I choked. "I know you mean well. But... I can't help it. We haven't had that much time together. I know that. seems like a silly thought, I mean, we've known.. each other for ten years, but. we're so newly married, and I love him. so much, and I couldn't. bear. it... if." I let out a sob.
Frasier rubbed my arm. "Shhhh. I know."
I tried to compose myself. "Let's not discuss it any further. Let's just wait for the doctor, Ok?"
I was sniffling, and exhausted.
Frasier pulled me into a warm hug, nearly spilling my juice.
"Ok, Daph. But believe me, he'll be fine."
I hugged him back, resting my head on his large shoulder. "I know. Thank you. You're so good to me. I. know this is hard for you and Martin, too."
"You're the best sister-in-law I've ever had."
I raised my head and smiled for the first time since the ordeal had begun. "Well, that's not much of a compliment!"
Frasier chuckled. "At least I got you to smile."
Just then Martin came limping back from the men's room and stopped beside us.
"Any word?"
"No, Dad, but. it's early yet."
***
I was drifting in and out of a troubled sleep when I heard heavy footsteps coming down the hall. I opened my eyes to see Frasier get up, and I slid around on the couch so that my feet touched the floor.
The surgeon approached us.
I got up.
Martin stood anxiously, leaning on his cane.
The doctor smiled.
"Good news to report, Mrs. Crane, and family. Niles came through the procedure very well, the valve was an easy repair. Smoothest operation of it's kind I have seen. He is in the recovery room, still under heavy sedation. Should be coming around in about an hour. Why don't you all go get something to eat and come back after? He should be ready to see you then."
Frasier let out a huge sigh. "Thank God! Thank you so much, Doctor.!"
Martin's face softened.
And what did I do? I collapsed to the floor in tears.
Frasier and Martin were on me immediately, raising me up. They helped me to a chair and eased me into it.
Frasier stroked my arm and handed me his handkerchief. "Daphne, he's Ok. Everything's going to be fine."
"Yeah, Daph."
I dried my eyes and sniffled. "I know. I'm sorry. I guess I just had to let it. all out."
Frasier smiled and squeezed my arm. "Of course, I should have known."
Brilliant psychiatrist, my brother-in-law.
***
By the time we returned Niles had been brought back to his room. I was given permission to see him. I asked if his father and brother could join me, and was told yes, but briefly.
Frasier and Martin told me to go first.
I opened the door and peeked in. Niles seemed to still be asleep. He was so still.
I inched toward the hospital bed and looked at my husband.
He appeared so small, so... slight.
I thought of the many nights when he held me after making love. He was so big then, so enveloping.
I sat gingerly on the side of his bed. I was almost afraid to touch him. He had an oxygen tube in his nose and an IV in a hand.
It all looked so scary.
He licked his lips, which seemed dry. Spotting a tube of lubricant on the nightstand, I squeezed some on my finger and applied it to his lips. Then I leaned down and gently kissed them.
His eyes fluttered open.
"Daph. Daphne?"
"I'm here, Niles."
"What. am I . did the.. operation.?"
"Niles, my sweet love. You are going to be fine. They say it all went as well as possible. You should be back home with me very soon, honey."
I saw the smile. It was weak, but there.
Frasier and Martin appeared at the door. I motioned them in.
"Niles," I said quietly. "You father and brother are here."
He turned his head slightly toward the door. "Dad? Frasier?"
"How ya feel, son?"
Niles groaned. "Like I've been hit by a bus. How do I look?"
Frasier chuckled. "Like you were hit by a bus."
"Ow. Don't make me laugh, Frasier. It. really went Ok?"
"Like clockwork, to borrow a tired phrase."
Niles let out a small sigh. "That's a relief."
Martin put his hand on his older son's shoulder and started for the door. "C'mon, Fras. We should let him rest."
Frasier followed. "We'll see you tomorrow, Niles."
"Ok. And, oh, guys.?"
They stopped.
"Thanks for being here."
"We wouldn't have been anywhere else, son."
I smiled at them. "I'll just be a minute."
Frasier led his father out the door. "Take as long as you need, Daph."
They were gone.
I turned back to my patient and stroked his forehead. He raised his unencumbered hand and touched my cheek.
"Were you scared.?" he whispered.
I fought back tears. I mustn't cry, not in front of him.
"Oh, Niles, of course. Terrified."
"I'm so sorry." He swallowed.
"Don't be silly. We didn't see this coming. We're just lucky they caught it before it got worse." I secured the oxygen tube in his nose and caressed his cheek.
"I know." He looked so tired, poor thing. "Daphne."
"What, sweet?"
He weakly took my hand. "I couldn't have made it without you."
"Oh, Niles."
Then I saw a real smile. "I can't wait," he whispered, "to be lying in our bed again, holding you to me. Gazing at the moon together. The man in the moon is still there..."
Oh, dear, not this moon thing again.
"One thing at a time, love."
I leaned down and kissed his lips once more, and this time was kissed back.
He closed his eyes. "Whatever is in that bag," he motioned toward the IV, "is making me so sleepy."
"Get some rest, love. I'll be back in the morning."
"I.. love you."
I allowed the tears this time and whispered, "Oh, Niles, I love you, too."
"They protected me..." He drifted off.
***
I pulled the door closed behind me. Having returned Frasier's handkerchief, I reached into my pocket for another. I dabbed my eyes with it.
Frasier and Martin were there waiting for me.
Frasier took my hand. "Any better now, Daph?"
I sniffed. "Yeah. A bit. He just looks so helpless lying there with all that. medical stuff around."
"Stiff upper lip, now," he said, assumingly in deference to my heritage. "Before you know it you'll have your arms around a crisp Armani suit again. Or more likely, an Oriental dressing gown."
I smiled. "Know him pretty well, don't you, Frasier?"
He put his arm around me. "Come on, you're coming home with us tonight. I'll call one of our regular restaurants and order dinner delivered. You can get some rest."
"Yeah, Daph. We can't have you rattling around that huge place of yours alone."
How lucky I am, I thought, to have the love of the three sweetest men in the world.
"Come on, then, you old sods. Let's get out of here."
***
Niles was already in bed when I returned from the bathroom. He was clad in his usual silk pajamas and was facing away from me, covers tightly pulled up.
I pulled back the bedclothes on my side and slid in next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"Hey, love. You asleep?"
He lay very still. "No."
Tonight I was determined to put an end to our. physical separation. I began caressing his arm. Kissing his neck, I reached around and started to unbutton his top.
He stopped my hand with his. "Daphne."
I sighed in frustration. "What?"
"I. I can't do this, not. not yet. Give me a. little longer.."
I sat up. "Honey, you're fine. You heard what the doctor said this afternoon. You are fully recovered, and you should begin to resume your normal life. Including your love life with your wife. He said it would be good for you."
Niles rubbed his forehead. "I heard what he said. But I just. can't. not yet."
"Niles, it's been three months."
He leaned up on one elbow, his head bowed. "I know. I'm sorry.."
"Bloody hell!" I threw back the covers, got up and stalked out of the room.
I stopped on the stairway landing and fought back tears. When I'd composed myself I walked down the three steps to the balcony and went outside.
The night was clear and chilly. I walked over to the railing and leaned on it, taking a deep breath.
Lord, will this ever be over? I'm not. angry with him, that's not it. But. God, this has been so bloody awful. Why can't he see it has to be put behind us? I love him so much, why can't we.can't it be over.
I wept quietly.
I felt two warm hands on my shoulders. I hadn't heard him come out.
"Daphne, come back to bed. Please."
I turned around and looked into his eyes.
And saw the fear in them.
"Niles.. I love you. please know that."
He grabbed me into a fierce hug. "Oh, Darling, I love you so much. You have been my reason for fighting through all of this. Don't ever forget that."
I cried, burying my face in his shoulder and rubbed his back. "I know. I know. this has been hard on us both, but." I pulled back to look at him. "Niles, everyone but you knows you're fine now. You have to get rid of this anxiety! I have, and I was petrified during it all. Why can't you?" I stroked his cheek.
He smiled. "The real question is, why can't I get used to the fact that you are always right?"
He cupped my chin with his hand and kissed my lips softly.
With that I couldn't resist. I put my hand behind his neck and drew him into a deep, open kiss. This time he didn't retreat, but returned it. Like the Niles I'd always known.
His lips left mine and he looked into my eyes, wiping a tear with his thumb.
"Come back to bed? he asked quietly. "You won't be sorry."
I smiled. "Now there's an offer I can't refuse."
As we walked inside I saw him briefly glance back at the moon.
***
We lay nestled together, holding tightly, skin against skin, sated. With my head in the crook of his neck, I gently ran one finger down the long scar in the middle of his chest.
"This still hurt?"
"On occasion. More like a numb tingle. Ugly thing, isn't it?"
"On the contrary. I think it's lovely?"
"You have to be kidding. How can you possibly."
I stopped him with a finger on his lips. "Because it's part of you now. And because, love. if this weren't here. you mightn't be, either."
He kissed the finger. "I guess you're right. Again."
I chuckled and turned over, pulling his arm around me. "Get used to it." I fell asleep.
*** I watched my lovely wife as she drifted into slumber. And thanked God for her.
It's going to be a special Thanksgiving this year, I thought.
I gave slient thanks to the man in the moon, and.
Thank you, Mother.
"You're welcome son. Sweet dreams."
With my cheek on Daphne's shoulder, I promptly joined her in dreamless sleep.
The End