CLOUD COMMITS SUICIDE
Aka. 41 Ingenius Ways To Commit Suicide - No. 26
One day Cloud was sick of Squall cheating on him and the whole world just being a black abyss and having to hide the wrist slits under his sleeve (In AC he used it to cover his Geostigma. LOL!) and Sephiroth pestering him and Tifa stalking him and being a blonde sulky emo in general.
So he decided to commit suicide.
Top of the 'Most Emo things to do. EVER.' list.
But being the hero of FFVII and a much loved character, he couldn't just shoot himself in the head or stab himself to death (or behead himself with his oversized sword for that matter) or throw himself off a cliff - He had to have a really, REALLY exiting way to die. Otherwise, he'd look pretty lame.
Pretty lame at being an FF character.
Pretty lame at being an FF emo. Lol.
So, Cloud ventured into the streets that glum day he decided to kill himself, with a cleverly devised suicide in mind. He walked into a huge, huge convention, filled with lots and lots and lots of rabid and/or morbid, bloodthirsty fan girls.
He went in disguise (but not as a fan girl. No, he's already done his crossdressing stunt), with simply a hat shaped like Goofy on. Hell, it worked! None of the fan girls even noticed, and their swooning of him was prevented.
After a while, the fan girls had all gathered in a crowd. He stood in the middle of the fan girls, standing out, because all the fan girls looked like clones.
In fact, the whole place looked like that one scene from Star Wars: Attack Of The Clones!
They were all suddenly silent, as whatever was on at the convention was about to start.
Did I mention it was an Axel/Demyx themed convention?
As it started, all the AkuDemy fan girls looked on with big, hopeful eyes. They were so happy about the yaoi they were about to witness. I mean, those rabid and/or morbid and bloodthirsty fan girls are, well, pretty rabid and/or morbid and bloodthirsty.
but Cloud just smirked, and drew in a deep breath...
...And when it was right moment, he titled his head back, and screamed at the top of his lungs.
"...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-KKKKKKKKK-UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-RRRRRRRRRR-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-KKKKKKKKKKKK-UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!"
Every single terrifying glare from every single fan girl's eye steered towards him.
Well, let's just say his slow, painful suicide was a success.
BASS IT!
Hey, well, that was a fun Christmas fic. Cloud's suicide! Wheee! (For those who don't know me, Bass It! means The End, basically)
Well, I hope this didn't cause any offence to AkuDemy fans. I'm really sorry if it did. Actually I was going to use Zemyx and then have Cloud yell 'Demyx/Vexen', but I think that would have been alot harder to do.
AkuRoku and ManSax forever! Happy Christmas and a fabulous New Year!
Buh-bye now!! 3