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The older woman walked toward the bridge, the rain plastering her short gray hair to her skin, the limping she did with her left leg only marginally to register and only when she is tired. This evening she is beyond tired, but it is the evening of THE DAY. The day her best friend died, she died in her arms unable to speak any longer and because of the husband and the children of her friend she although couldn't say anything, at least not the things she would love to say, something like "I Love You", words she wanted to say for quite a long time but when it was the right time she didn't dare to say them and then – it was too late. Today it is twenty years that she died, twenty years since both of them died. Since that day, the only reason to exist was that the children of her friend needed her.
"Damn Maura, why had it to be you? Why couldn't it be me? I miss you as much as the day you died and all that is left for me is to remember you, to be the pillar of strength for the kids. Luckily they don't really need one anymore. They are so smart, exactly like you and the twins? You three could use each other as mirrors. I miss you Maura." Glad about the rain, the older woman stood on the bridge and let her gaze wander over the water and the city at its side. Her memories showing her pictures from a certain blond woman and her tears run free over her cheeks. Standing there for hours she doesn't feel the wetness that had soaked her clothes. Suddenly her phone vibrated and with a sigh she took the call.
"Rizzoli!" She said, her voice strong and confident, no sign of the sadness in her heart.
"Aunt Jane!" The voice of Sophie Isles erupted from the speaker, "Where are you?"
"Talbot Bridge. There was a report about some man ready to jump down. Either it was too late to come here and he is already gone or the caller was wrong." Lying wasn't something that was a burden to her, not even to the young woman that was as close to her as any daughter could be. But as easy as she made up this story, as easy the girl was in picking up the truth. Without commenting to it, Sophie asked "Are you with a car there?"
"How else should I get here? Aren't any good at running anymore." There was no anger or hurt in her voice, only a tired acceptance. The same as with anything that was hitting her since then. Only something regarding Sophie and her twin sister Charlotte or their older brother Timothy got her to be agitated as many teachers and their father had learned. That's the reason that all three children had called her Mommy Bear. The second wife of their father hadn't liked any hint at been mother to the kids, ignoring that the kids were seeing Jane as their surrogate mother instead of her, but even when the kids called her Aunt Jane, the sound was always in an other direction.
"Charly is arriving at the airport in half an hour. Could you please pick her up? I am cooking and would love that you do it."
"Why are you cooking and where are you?" Jane's voice was commanding as if she was talking with some off her officers. Sophie didn't envy them for that. Glad that as a federal agent even the commissioner of Boston wasn't in her chain of command. Not that said Commissioner would bother if it comes to it that Sophie was sure off.
"Chicken Alfredo and Beacon Hill." She hadn't to say more, both knew that this was all Jane needed. The silence stayed for a long time, finally Jane said "Okay kiddo, I pick her up. But I will not come in, there is a lot of paperwork on my desk." Both knew that when Charly would ask her she would cave. The children knew her far too well and none of them would let her stay on her own on this day of the year.
Over an hour later, four people sat at the table in a specific house in Beacon Hill. If not one of the children has business in Boston, the house was dark and still 363 days a year. Only time was the day Maura had died and her birthday but the later was something that the children didn't know.
As usuall, the three children of Maura tried their best to lighten the mood of a certain old woman but as usual the failed. Serving the Cannelloni they learned to make by the long dead Angela Rizzoli, Charlotte filled her glass with the excellent red wine they had bought for this day. Deep in her thoughts she sat there for some time.
"Penny for your thoughts!" Timothy suddenly said, bringing her back to reality.
"Nothing." Charly told him.
"That nothing had you zoned out for over twenty minutes, don't tell me bull!" he told her. Reigning in the comment he would have made if the three were alone. But even been grown up, all three off them feared the tone in which Jane told them "Language kids!"
With a deep sight and a long look at their aunt, Charlotte walked over to Jane, putting a hand on her shoulder and kissed the older woman on top of her head. A questioning look made her smile.
"There is something I wanted to ask you for a long time Aunt Jane." She finally said.
"And that is kiddo?"
"If there were a time machine, would you use it to go back and tell mother that you love her?" Suddenly there was a silence in the room that was deafening. Tears streaming down her cheeks bud finally she shook her head. "No." She whispered.
"But why Aunt Jane?" This time it was the surprised voice of Timothy that asked.
"Because I'm a god damned coward. That is the first point and the second point is, if I would go back and tell her and let's assume that she wasn't kicking me out of her life what surely would let to a complete other life for you guys, let's say she said yes. You three would not be here. Could I kill my children by being selfish?" All three children of Maura had to fight tears. They knew that they had the place in Jane's heart that normally is reserved for a person's own children but to hear this confession from the one and only Jane Rizzoli? The cyborg, the ice queen, as many police officers and detectives called her? That was unbelievable, priceless and heartbreaking.
"Why did you ask?" Sophie was curious as ever. Curiosity was natural to all three of them, being the children of Maura Isles and a college professor, more or less raised by a detective? No chance to not been curios without end.
"Thank you Jane." Timothy whispered in her ear, giving her a fast hug.
"Can we now cancel this emo-crap?" Jane renewed the walls around her soul fast and strong.
"Sure!" Sophie told her.
"But you have to promise me something." This time it was Charlotte who spoke.
"Should you ever go back in time, you will tell her. Whatever she will do, but you will tell her. Promised?"
"Okay, I promise that at least I will try, that I'm not chicken out I can't promise. The thought of losing her is too frightening, too saddening and too depressing to me."
The rest of the evening was spent in a better mood; the three younger ones did their best to pick out memories that were on the funny side. When Jane finally left, her spirit was strong as on most of the other days in the year.
"Okay Sis, spill!" Sophie told her sister and hers and the eyes of their brother locked on her after their aunt left.
"Nothing special, I was seeing a film in cinema with some friends; a man found a time machine and went back to his greatest love ever. As like the first time he wasn't able to tell her, it was heartbreaking. After that I thought what Aunt Jane would do. But whatever she would do, it would change the world as we know it. She is a protector, it is in her blood. She would react to some threads mother got through. The world would be completely different than the one we know. So I thought by making her promise to at least try to tell mother, there will at least a little bit of happiness be there. That is all. By the way, the film was Tears in the Rain in case you want to watch it."
After they got this, all three started to share memories of Momma Rizzoli, Jane had told them about their real mother again and again but they were too young when Maura was gone, Jane was the one who went to the first baseball game they saw. Made sure that all three had their own game time, nothing like twins share all and so they share their aunt on their first game they went to ever. Jane was there when they had their first school play, was the one who went to the Father-Daughter/Mother-Son dance with Timothy, fighting like a lion to get the evening off. Pissing off the new mother they got. Timothy remembered that evening very vivid. All the other boys were there with their mothers, her was the only one who went with his aunt. Aunt Jane had done something they saw her doing on very rare occasions. To have the evening for Timothy more relaxed, Jane had clad herself in a dress. When she told him that it was only for him, Timothy became beet red and was the proudest boy that was there that evening. Some of the other boys thought they show how big, scary and cool they were by making some very bad remarks about Jane. Luckily for them, it wasn't Jane who heard them talking that way but Timothy wasn't really any better. He had heard his aunt doing the scolding on times enough for been able to give them his thoughts. Hearing what he had done, Jane came to him and made a formal curtsy, calling him her knight in shining armor. Made him feel very grown up. They laughed about the way a certain Jane Rizzoli walked down on the field when the coach berated Charlotte of been unable – been too stupid to be more correct – to hit a ball. Jane's hit on his balls changed his opinion very quick. Finally the three filled their glasses the last time.
Looking at their siblings, Sophie holds her glass and said "To Aunt Jane, the best mother three nerds could ever get. And to the hope that should ever arise the chance that she could tell the love of her life what she is feeling, that she grows the balls to do it!"
"Aunt Jane!" the three said together.