"It's not good enough!"
I feel the twinge of pain up my arm where my fist connects with the cold metal table, although my body feels disconnected from the action. I shake it off and resume pacing through the laboratory.
"We are close, really close," says Matthew.
Five week, three days. Tris has been gone for five weeks and three days. I run a hand through my short Abnegation hair and sigh, "I know, I know."
A few days after returning to the compound and discovering that Tris…. A few days after, Cara suggested cremating the body. My response was enough that no one has brought it up since. Chicago is in the process of becoming a Metropolitan area although we have stayed at the Bureau. Firstly, because I won't leave Tris behind again and secondly, while the city rebuilds the bureau has been a sufficient shelter. In the weeks following the uprising, Johanna Reyes has led the city with the help of Amar, George and several representatives from Milwaukee, but some of us have stayed back to re-educate those that had their memories wiped clean by Tris and run damage control. Many have started to integrate into the city but a few, like David, we have chosen to keep an eye on here a bit longer. Cara and Caleb have spent most of their time in the control room, keeping an eye out on what few camera's remain in the city for any strange activity. My parents haven't been sighted. But more importantly, they've been destroying evidence of the work that was conducted at the Bureau over the past several decades. The days of "genetically pure" and "genetically damaged" are over. Some things are hard to erase, such as truth serums and memory serums, since we had them in Chicago too and those people still have their memories, but Johanna is working on their eradication so one day they will become a distant memory.
The door opens and Zeke's head pop's through the gap, "Thought I heard your raised voice, let's take a walk."
I look between him and Matthew, who is back to looking through the microscope, and silently follow Zeke out of the room.
We walk in silence to the end of the corridor and stop at a window. It's dark outside so we can't really see anything but our reflections. For the first time I notice we both look older and battle worn. Zeke and his mother turned off Uriah's life support a few days after they arrived at the Bureau and not long after started making arrangements for his body. I found Zeke in the morgue when I went to visit Tris one night. I told him to wait five more weeks, that I was working on something, to let me make good on my promise to look out for Uriah. He conceded, but my five weeks is almost up.
There may be something perverse in visiting Tris in the morgue but I don't care. Every day I go down there, just to be in the same room as her. Sometimes Christina joins me and we'll sit against a wall for hours. I don't think she wants to be down there but she has become a good friend and I think she thinks she's trying to help my sanity. But my sanity is fine; it is when I'm not with Tris that it crumbles. Which is why I must still fight for her.
I don't know how long Zeke and I stood at the window, lately we don't have to say much to each other but we are at an understanding of what each of us need. A door slams behind us and I turn to see Matthew sprinting towards us. It's the most alive I have seen him in weeks and I step forward automatically, "What is it?"
He hasn't run far but he is out of breath. I have a moment to think that he wouldn't cut it in Dauntless before he tells me, "It worked."
N.B. Hi, this is my first fanfic for this particular series. I, like many, had some serious feels about the end of Allegiant. This continues from the moment right after Four realises Tris is dead, continuing in his POV. I tend to write shorter chapters but I aim to update every few days (every day if I can manage it). I've got the first 5-6 chapters drafted so fingers cross this goes somewhere :) I haven't done fanfic for several years but after finishing Allegiant I just couldn't help myself.