Hello readers! twinSlayer reporting back to work!

This story was only a crack, I think, and it will be a few short chapters, because I'm doing it for fun! It just came up when I watched CSI: Cyber and then Akashi's face came to my desktop. So blame him. *dodges flying scissors*

Anyways, enjoy this story, although as incorrect as it might be hahah ._." Oh, and also, Kagami is a cop in here.

Disclaimer: KuroBasu isn't mine.

At first, it was only a few harmless hacking. Nothing to injure, let alone kill. Maybe hurting feelings were inevitable, but Kuroko only inflicted some annoying spams to those who annoyed him in the first place. He never directed the meaningless spams to other people who has nothing to do with him.

Cowardly, was what his forked-eyebrow friend always said. Kuroko never cared about it. This was his way of defending himself, since he's not all brawny for a physical fight, and surely he would be blown away to a nearby wall from the first punch thrown at him. Kuroko proclaimed that his head was more developed than his weak body, and fighting is all about using your best features. Also, Kuroko doesn't want to involve in a fight he can never win.

Unfortunately, his hacking abilities brought him into custody of the police corps, because of something he didn't commit. He suspected the framing came from one of his enemies, and Kuroko wasn't sure which one since, well, his enemies were increasing as the years went by. Was it maybe the pun spammer, UruguEye? Or maybe nyanFace and ANGELvoice? He can't decide on one. Kuroko admitted, he was quite popular in the underground hacking world, although no one really know how he looked like. Even though they saw him, they will never would have guessed the short and pale man with baby-blue hair was a world renowned hacker. A perfect disguise.

It was not long after his detention, Kuroko was asked by a strong lady named Aida Riko to help them with the current case. They even admitted that their weakness on the cyber realm will put them in a grave danger not only to the city, but to the whole country. The exaggerated statement made Kuroko gulped. In the end, the man agreed to lend a hand, in return, he wanted no statement of him involved in the case since it will blow away his identity he hid for so long.

And so, the man displayed his inhumane ability to hack into the world satellite, tracked down the criminal in question, and also stole some time to detect whoever put the blame on him; In which Kuroko planned more than a hundred ways to scar the person's mentality for eternal.

But Kuroko can't say that he hated this turn of event, because after the capture of the criminal, Corporal Aida Riko gave Kuroko a job position he dreamt of; Employee in the Investigation Department of Tokyo Metropolitan Police Bureau. Technically, he's gonna be a detective.

No one in their sane mind would let that opportunity slip.

"Kagami-kun?"

The dark-redhead turned around, together with his slumped body settled on the chair. He jolted away from his desk. "What do you want, Kuroko?"

"Do you see Corporal anywhere?" asked Kuroko, his hands occupied with files he needed to hand over to the woman.

"I think she was having lunch with Hyuuga. Go and take a look at the café, cuz I might be wrong." Kagami stuffed his mouth with a cheeseburger. The paler man took his chance to glance at Kagami's messy desk. Only cheeseburgers filled his sight. And it kinda reminded him at how much he needed to fill his empty stomach later. Kuroko felt like he could pass out any moment now.

"Oy Kuroko."

His glance went back to the munching man, now his mouth stained with some mustard and tomato sauce.

"I'm gonna be home late tonight, so make your own dinner, 'kay? Or do you want me to make some time to go home and make a dish for you?" Kagami asked out of concern. Being Kuroko's roomate for more than five years, he knew the petite man would forget to eat when he's too absorbed in his work, and now it's even worse since Kuroko was needed in almost every case. He was a cop himself and he knew how demanding the job can be sometimes.

"It's okay, Kagami-kun. I can take care of myself. You just focus on your work here."

"I'm gonna call you to make sure you've eaten."

"I can't remember you being this nosy before."

"Damn, Kuroko, it's called being motherly."

"Understood. I'll call you Mom from now on."

"FUCK NO DAMMIT!"

"We've got a new case, Kuroko," said Corporal Aida once Kuroko went into her office to hand over the files. Kuroko was baffled, but his poker face refused to make a change of expression. He might die and be reborned in a minute, and no one could ever detect the difference.

"A big case?"

"Not really, but the person who reported was assuring us it's a BIG deal," sighed the corporal. In her line of work, these kinds of people were nothing new. Although she can't say she gained her migraine from something other than her work.

Kuroko nodded. "Anything I need to do?"

"Yes. As you can see from the screen, the said person got an email from his bank that his money was constantly being checked out, and lately the money kept increasing."

"Why didn't he report to the bank?"

"The bank said there was no suspicious figure seen using his card or anything, and his cards were safely kept with him all the time. So he figured out that maybe someone hacked into his account online. Hence, that's where we come in."

Kuroko licked his dry lips. This was a usual electronic burglary. In the internet, nothing is safe once it is on the web. Kuroko's parents were once tricked like this, and it angered him to no end that the burglar was only jailed for two years. Unlike his expressionless demeanor, Kuroko was actually pretty short-tempered.

"I can track down the IP address and the coordinate of the hacker. Please give me a minute." His fingers went to Aida's keyboard and started typing quickly. Aida scooted away from her computer to give room to Kuroko. Not long after that, a coordinate appeared on the screen, giving away a location for Aida to inspect.

"Okay, got it. Good work, Kuroko-kun!" Aida smiled and took out her phone to start calling out her troupe for the capture of the thief. "Oh, and the one who reported is at the hall. Please tell him everything's going to be fine." Her figure disappeared into the lift, her body getting ready to beat the burglar senseless. Kuroko walked out of the room after putting her computer to Sleep mode, and saw a tall blonde pacing back and forth nervously at the path nearby.

Yep, this is the one, Kuroko thought. The blonde's face was expressive, he can tell, no wonder he was so easy to be deceited.

"Excuse me, sir?"

The blonde jumped, screaming a little Eeek while at it. Meanwhile, Kuroko only looked up to him with a blank expression. "Corporal Aida Riko wanted me to pass this to you. She said not to worry, she got this."

And the gold head nodded, releasing a relieved sigh. He brushed his bright yellow hair, and then his eyes met with Kuroko's sky blue pupils. "And you are?"

"I'm sorry, that was very rude of me. I'm Kuroko Tetsuya, one of her employees."

The blonde only replied with an 'Oh', portraying an extreme uninterest in the plain man standing right in front of him. He had met with hundreds of gorgeous people, and meeting with Kuroko was only one of the countless encounters he made everyday with normal citizen out there.

"So do you need coffee or any beverage? Corporal Aida might take a while, so I suggest for you to take a seat at the lounge."

"That's very kind of you, but no thanks. I'm not in the mood for any drinks now."

"I see." Kuroko wanted to turn his back to the blonde, but to him it was kinda rude to just let him roam around the place without an escort. He was an outsider after all. "I'll be at my desk if you need anything," said Kuroko, and he walked away from the intense awkwardness seeping in between them.

"It was all a success, thanks to our little buddy here!" said Aida in a rather high tone. Kuroko can only blush at the appreciation shown from his superior. He stood beside Corporal Aida bashfully.

Meanwhile, the blonde could only gape his mouth open. This person was a hacker? This plain, normal, uninteresting, short, expressionless, skinny person was a hacker?!

Deep down in the blonde's heart, he somehow felt defeated by his own judgement. It's never good to judge a person too much, and this time he'd overdone himself by meeting Kuroko.

"Oh, I-I'm sorry, I never would've thought…" and he paused. "…So what was your name again, miss?"

Miss?

Miss?

Miss?!

Kuroko gritted his teeth inside his mouth silently, and Aida Riko was laughing hard on the floor, tears formed at her eyes. In between her laugh, Kuroko thought he could hear a 'He called you Miss' from the Corporal.

"I am Kuroko Tetsuya," he answered calmly, and his blue orbs shot a death glare to the blonde. "Mister Kuroko Tetsuya."

Dumbfounded, the blonde muttered a series of apologies. "I'm really sorry! I didn't mean it! I mean, you looked pale, skinny, and small, I was about to introduce you to my agency as a fellow model…"

"I am flattered by the offer, but I'm afraid I must decline. I'm comfortable with my work as it is now." And Kuroko gave him a silent treatment afterwards, letting Aida Riko do all the talking. Whenever the gold orbs tried to meet with his eyes, Kuroko ran his gaze outside.

Finally the blonde left after completing a couple of forms, and gave Kuroko some time to breath in. Aida Riko patted on his shoulder, and said, "we're done here for the day. You can go back now."

A simple nod was enough, and Kuroko can't wait to make a mashed potato for his dinner, because damn, he needed to imagine the blonde's face at a place where he can smash legally.

"Kuroko."

"Hmn?" replied Kuroko with his mouth stuffed with mashed potato, still minding not to stain the phone's speaker.

"You eating right now?"

Kuroko wiped some potatoes that leaked from his mouth. "Yes, I'm eating."

"What is it?"

He scoffed. This is beyond nosy. "Mashed potato."

"Veggies?"

"None."

"What?!"

Here it comes.

"Kuroko, you can't just eat mashed potato only, at least have fruits after this. Wait do we have fruits? Agh, nevermind. I'll just buy some before I get home. Kuroko, you take a look at the fridge and make yourself some vegetable dish! For God's sake, I can't leave this kid to live alone!"

"Kagami-kun."

"What?" Somehow his bickering stopped.

"Thank you."

"Huh?"

Kuroko formed a soft smile. He was grateful that he has someone to take care of his well-being.

"I said, thank you, Mom."

Before Kagami could demonstrate his astonishing knowledge of profanities, Kuroko ended the call. It's not good to curse in front of food anyway.