I want one

by zerowhitelilies

Raito wants something. L can speak cat. He is also giving people percentages for how gay they are. Roger is emo. Yagami-san goes on a rant. An old friend returns. You should probably read "Because of a Spider"

1. Chapter 1

I just got this random idea. What if Raito wanted a cat? Why am I calling him Raito?

"Ryuzaki! Why not?" Raito begged. He really wanted something from Ryuzaki.

"Raito-kun, I will not get you a cat."

"Why not?"

"Although small, there is a chance that the cat may be a spy. About 0.009 percent."

"Why cant my percentage be that low?"

"Because. And if I get you a cat, you are going to plot with it. Against me."

"NO! What do you have against cat?"

Ryuzaki thought. In his thoughts, you could only find the pictures of a fat, screeching cat, known only as Mr. Squiggles.
"A bad experience in the past," answered Ryuzaki.

"What kind of experience?" exclaimed Raito.

"Would you like to find out first hand?"

"Errmmmm..Is that such a goo-"

"Watari! I need you to call Mello or Roger!"

"Mello? What kind of idiot goes by a name like Mello?"

"Your worst nightmare, Raito-kun."

"Should I ask?"

"No"

***
"Mello, L needs your assistance."

"REALLY? Roger, you had better be serious! 'Cause if you ain't, I'm gonna take your foot and shove it up your sorry a-"

"MELLO. I am completely serious. Here talk to L." Roger turned around in his chair and a screen with L came on.

"Hello, Mello."

"HI L!"

"I need you to track down a cat for me."

"Um...Ok...what does the cat look like?"

"One of a kind. There is a 79.5986 percent chance that it weighs over 50 pounds. It has a rather high pitched meow. It also goes by the name of Mr. Squiggles.

"You want THAT cat?"

"Yes I do. What is wrong with that?"

"First, it almost gave Matt rabies. Last, but most likely least, it mauled Roger's face and ate his stupid pizza clock, and he whined for about a week."

"Mello, show respect to your elders."

"SURE THING, L!"

"MMRRRROOOOWWWWWW!"

"Hello, Mr. Squiggles. You are coming to Japan to visit a friend of mine."

"Mrow?"

"Don't worry, Mr. Squiggles, he wont call you fat."

"Meow?"

"Yes, it's a he."

"Mrow Mrow Mrow?"

"Mr. Squiggles, there is only a 49.99 percent chance that I am homosexual. Thank you for your concern. Mello, on the other hand,
judging by your clothes and perfect hair, there is a 79.99 percent chance that you are homosexual. And Roger there is a-"

"Enough L..."

"Right. Well, have that cat brought to Japan. Have a goodday."

Yes, L was giving everyone percentages for that. That's OOC...lol.