The Happiest Place on Earth
Summary: Concerned about Angel's depression, Fred, Cordelia, Wesley and Gunn decide to take him to Disneyland, without thinking of the consequences of bringing this cursed vampire to the happiest place on earth…
Disclaimer: I do not own Angel. Or Disneyland.
A/N: Beginning of S3, before Darla shows up. Kind of AU in the sense that some of the rides and attractions I mention might not have been around when S3 was made. And Fred's not horribly insane, but she's still getting used to the group.
Chapter 1
The Idea
"Is he still in his office?" Cordelia asked with a sigh.
"Yes," Wesley replied. As usual, he was reading a book written in some strange language Cordy had never heard of.
"We should really do something about Angel," Fred said. "He's all…upset…"
"He's like that all the time," Cordy said. "You get used to it."
"I guess, but…we don't have any clients right now, and maybe…maybe we could do something fun."
"Fun?" Gunn repeated with a laugh. "Angel's idea of fun is brooding."
Wesley looked up from his book. "I do believe Fred has a point…we do not want Angel to become too upset…after what happened last time…"
"What happened last time?" Fred asked.
"We all got fired," Cordy replied.
Fred's eyes widened. "Oh…"
"Angel doesn't think of 'fun' the same way we do," Gunn said. "I don't know if there's anything we can do for him."
"Well, there's some things that everyone likes," Fred said.
"For instance…?" Wesley asked.
"Well…um…what about a movie? Going to the movies is always fun."
"Not if you've seen all the movies that are out and they're all terrible," Cordy said. "If you guys are taking Angel to the movies, you can count me out."
"I think we should go vamp-hunting," Gunn said. "That usually cheers him up."
"It could also make him worse," Wesley said. "I don't think we want him to be doing violent things when he is this depressed."
There was a long pause as everyone tried to think of something that Angel might actually enjoy. Then, suddenly, Wesley said, "Disneyland."
Everyone stared at him. Cordelia finally said, "You're joking."
"We are in Southern California, it wouldn't take too long to get there…"
"Man, that place is like for little kids," Gunn said. "Angel wouldn't like it."
"You've never been there, have you?" Cordy asked.
Gunn hesitated. "Well…no."
"I've never been there either," Fred said.
"You haven't?" Cordy said disbelievingly. "What is wrong with you people?!"
"I wanted to go when I moved to California, but I was so busy, and then there was the whole demon dimension thing," Fred said.
"I think we should go," Wesley said with a slight smile. "We all deserve a vacation, Angel especially."
"Only one problem," Cordy said. "When I lived in Sunnydale, my parents got me VIP passes and all kinds of stuff. I know Disneyland. And I know that if you don't go in until after dark, when it gets dark so late in the summer like this, you have time for maybe two good rides…three if you're lucky."
"Disneyland has all sorts of magical barriers surrounding it," Wesley said, looking surprised that Cordelia didn't know this. "One of them protects guests from any harmful effects of the sun…except, unfortunately, sunburns."
"You mean they cater to vampires at Disneyland?" Fred said, shocked.
"No, not vampires…there are many other demons affected by sunlight. I recall studying one species from Madagascar called the Klotnig…Klotnigs melt when exposed to sunlight, reduced to a pile of…"
"I've never seen any demons at Disneyland," Cordelia interrupted.
"When you pay for your parking ticket you are magically scanned, and if all the vehicle's residents are human, you can continue on…but if you have demons with you, you are diverted to a special lot. Glamours can be purchased there, which can make most demons appear human."
"But would they let Angel in?" Fred asked. "I mean...wouldn't they scan us and see that Angel was a vampire? They don't…they don't let vampires into the park, do they?"
"The scanning device only reveals if you are human or not," Wesley explained. "However, in order to actually enter the park through the demon entrance, everyone must pass through a detector similar to those in airports which check for metal, only this detector checks for a soul. If it does not detect a soul, you are turned back…but if you have a soul, you are let in. Angel would, of course, pass."
"I always heard Disneyland was a magical place, but I never believed it really was," Fred said.
"Of course it is," Wesley said. "All of the rides are powered by magic."
"All of them?" Cordy repeated.
"Yes. Why did you think they broke down all the time? Modern technology isn't that unreliable."
"Why use magic if electronics are better?" Fred asked.
"Magic is much cheaper."
"Oh…"
"And the fireworks are also…"
"We get it, Angel can get in," Gunn interrupted. "So are we going, or not?"
There was a brief pause, and then Cordy said, "We're definitely going."
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