"I meant something like that".
The way Jess is looking at him; the way she hasn't broken eye contact. So many emotions cross her face that Nick is only able to capture a few of them: openness, vulnerability, breathlessness, need, desire.
He's almost unable to breathe.
Her eyes flick to his lips and then back to his eyes, searching him.
Oh god, she's going to kiss him again. He needs to do something; to leave. Panic moonwalk the heck back into his room. Her boyfriend is right there.
But she'd kissed him back. Her boyfriend is 25 feet away behind a door and she. kissed. him. back. And he can't stay any longer because if he lets her kiss him again, he doesn't think they could stop.
He slides his hands down to cup the backs of hers where they hang at her sides; an apology for kissing her... or an apology for liking it so much... an apology for making her cheat on her boyfriend.
His eyes don't leave hers, though, drawn in by how vulnerable she looks in a way he'd never seen her before. And her eyes are still on his, not leaving, not moving until her fingers squeeze his at the same time as her eyes flick to his lips once more. Before he can back away, she stretches her neck to meet his lips with hers once more.
This is a bad idea. Really bad. But so good. His hands immediately drop hers and dive into her hair, cradling her head, angling it so that he can kiss her just the way he wants, as deep as he wants. She lets out a whimper that shoots straight to his gut. He takes a sharp breath through his nose, and in the haze and dizziness of the moment, his mind manages to realize that any noise from either of them could wake up Sam. But in the passion of it all, any rational thought in his head flies out the window and he begins pulling her towards his room.
She lets out a little noise, like a demand, and her arms squeeze his shoulders harder, and her leg creeps up to his hip. He takes the hint and lifts her up, barely breaking the kiss in the sudden movement. Her legs squeeze his waist and her ankles cross behind his back and when he reaches his doorway, he pauses, using the doorjamb to help support her while his mind races, trying to emerge from the fog of need and desire to really assess the situation. If he crosses the threshhold, there's no going back. They won't stop until they're naked and sated on his bed. She will have cheated on her boyfriend the way she had been cheated on by her ex, and he knows she will hate herself for it.
"Nick," she says desperately, stretching to reach his lips. But he gently cups her cheeks and holds her back from him slightly. She looks dejected, but then there's the sound of her door opening, and there's Sam. And Nick still has Jess in his arms, propped against his own doorjamb.
"Oh," Jess says, eyes wide, and she slides down to the floor. Nick steps back from her, his hands held awkwardly in the air to make it clear to Sam that he's no longer touching her.
"What the hell, guys!" Sam says angrily.
"Listen, man, it was all me." Nick says. "I kissed her."
"It was all you?"
"Yeah. I wasn't thinking."
"If it was just you, she wouldn't be propped up against a doorway with her legs around your waist!" He looks at Jess, anger etched onto his face. "Am I right, Jess?"
"I'm sorry," she whispers.
"Well, I'm sorry, too. Sorry that I let myself fall for you." The pain Sam must be feeling is evident on his face and he turns toward Jess' room. "I'm just gonna grab my stuff. I have to get out of here."
"Wait, Sam!" Jess follows him into her room.
"Jess, I can't," Nick hears Sam say as Nick turns for his room and closes the door behind him.
Nick has been tossing and turning in his bed, unable to sleep. He had heard almost every aspect of Sam and Jess' argument and eventual goodbye. He feels terrible, his own inconsiderate impulses having caused the break-up between Jess and the guy she really likes.
It's silent now and Nick throws his right arm across his face, covering his eyes, willing sleep to come.
Then he hears a tapping on his door. That can't be Jess...
The tapping repeats itself and he hears her voice; "Nick?"
He pauses, wondering if he's actually sleeping. Pinching himself and still remaining where he is confirms he isn't dreaming.
"Come in," he says.
The door opens slowly and the light from the hallway slants across the floor. Behind it is her shadow, creeping cautiously into his room. He sits up and turns on his bedside lamp.
She had changed into pajamas; the soft white ones with the parrots all over them; the kind of pajamas you wear when you're not expecting to have hot sex. And her dark glasses are now balanced on her nose.
"Hey," she says, unsure, standing in his doorway.
"Come in, Jess."
She closes the door softly behind her and comes to sit on the corner of his bed.
"Hey," she says again.
He can't help but smile over her shyness, the way she picks at an imaginary piece of fuzz on his blanket.
He waits on her.
"You kissed me," she says finally.
He's surprised that she said nothing about Sam, about the kiss breaking them up.
"Yes, I did," he replies.
"I kissed you back."
He laughs. "Oh, I am definitely aware of that."
"Ok," she says nervously, and he can't quite read her.
After a moment she says Goodnight, leaning forward slowly and placing another kiss on his lips. As she begins pulling away he catches her by the side of her neck and brings her back toward him, giving her one more lingering kiss.
She parts from his with a subtle, nervous smile on her face and moves to his doorway.
"See you tomorrow", she says, leaving his room and closing the door behind her.
He's not sure exactly what that was, but he knows it's just the beginning.