Title: before the dawn
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Author: justdrifting
Pairings/Characters: Callie/Arizona
Rating: T
Spoilers: To mid season 5 I believe
Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy does not belong to me.
Author's Notes: Written for callie_arizona secret santa exchange on LJ. Title from 'Shake it Out' by Florence + The Machine
Summary: Callie and Arizona's first meeting isn't in that bar bathroom. Instead, they meet as surgeons, then become friends, then something more.
xxx
There is a queer ladies contingent at Seattle Grace that Callie has now been welcomed into post-Erica (and gosh if she couldn't have really used it during, why do you only reveal yourself now secret gay lady club?) and according to the gay-grapevine there is a new lady-loving surgeon making the rounds of the queer women of Seattle Grace.
Callie is happy to listen to the gossip about this seemingly new gay Mark Sloan, happy to feel included and accepted and a part of something, until the discussion of the new surgeon's blonde curls and blue eyes makes her think EricaEricaErica and that's too much for her barely-beating broken heart to take.
xxx
The call comes in at 4am. She's hurrying into the ambulance bay at 4.15, cup of hot coffee cradled in her hands, coming to a stop next to the other doctor already waiting there.
The woman turns towards her and beams, her smile disarmingly bright, and holds out her hand – "Arizona Robbins" – and Callie thinks 'Ah' as she takes the offered hand.
"Callie Torres."
Arizona Robbins' smile widens and turns to something mischievous, as if she knows something most people don't. Which, if she's also in this queer lady club, she definitely does. "Ooh, it's nice to finally meet you, Dr Torres."
Finally? Callie's smile is more than slightly awkward, and she turns towards the thankfully ambulance sirens. Now having seen the other woman, it most certainly makes sense why the queer women of Seattle Grace are so abuzz with news of her. Arizona Robbins is gorgeous.
But too similar, her mind tells her, and she sighs because, still, still.
Callie is grateful for the fast approaching crisis, so she doesn't have to think about Erica's hair, or Erica's eyes, and instead lets her mind come to rest on Arizona Robbins' brilliant, brilliant smile.
xxx
The patient is a boy, only fourteen, and both his legs appear to be shattered. "Steady!" Callie yells as they rush him into the ER.
"I think the hip's out of place as well." Robbins is there immediately, leaning over from the other side of the gurney to help Callie stabilise the body as best as possible, then she's jumped back to press her stethoscope to his chest while Callie moves on to his battered legs.
"No pulse in the right calf."
"His breathing's laboured."
"We need to get him to an OR, like now."
Their eyes meet. Arizona nods, once.
"Okay, let's go!"
xxx
Arizona Robbins is professional and meticulous, and one of the most interesting surgeons Callie has seen work in a long while. She chatters as she goes, eager to explain and seemingly at ease, even while the monitors beep too fast, but her hands are perfect. Quick and nimble and ever steady, with long, elegant fingers that probe at the patient and pull stitches effortlessly.
"Dr Torres?"
Callie starts. "Hmm?"
"Are we ready to close?" Robbins' eyes are light, and Callie assumes there's a smirk beneath her mask.
"Yep, yep, good to close," she says after a quick glance at the tendons in front of her.
Ok. Getting distracted by her hands. Now that's a good way to start.
xxx
Callie's still kicking herself, just a little, as she scrubs out. It's only eight in the morning and she's starving and exhausted and apparently already made a fool out of herself and her day hasn't even begun yet. Arizona Robbins joins her and grins, but Callie's embarrassed and needs coffee like stat, and can do little more than grimace.
Robbins laughs, clear and easy. "How about I buy you breakfast – coffee included – so we can work out what we're going to be doing about this patient and get to know each other a little?"
That disarming smile from this morning is back again, and Callie's helpless to do little more than let out a "Yes" on her next exhale.
xxx
Arizona Robbins, it turns out, is fascinating as well as charming, lovely and all other kinds of perfect.
After hours and hours of dead end after dead end, Callie sits back with a 'hrumph' of exasperation followed by a long suffering sigh. They're in the conference room, the remnants of breakfast off to the side, files strewn all across the table.
Arizona's eyes are too kind when they look up to meet Callie's. "We'll get there."
"He deserves to walk again!"
"They all do."
Callie crosses her arms, tries not to look sullen. "I know."
"But, I do think we can get there with this one. He's a tough kid, and I think we'll work very well together, like a dream team!" Arizona's too blue eyes are sparkling as they fix on Callie.
Eyebrows raised, Callie leans forward. "Oh?"
"Yeah! An awesome team."
"Awesome huh? What makes you think that?"
"I've heard some pretty amazing things about you, and I saw all of it validated in the OR this morning. And I'm not too shabby myself, either, so. Amazing dream team, you and I, Calliope Torres."
Callie's eyebrow gets higher. "I never told you my name was Calliope."
Arizona's eyes are doing the sparkling thing again. "I've heard a great deal more about you than just about your surgical skills, Calliope." And then she winks. Actually. A wink.
Is this flirting? This is definitely flirting, right?
God she's so bad at this with women.
Laughing awkwardly like she always does when she's nervous, Callie shakes her head. "Let's get back to research, shall we?"
Arizona's eyes won't goddamn stop sparkling and screw that perfect smile of hers that won't go away, goddamn it.
"Whatever you say, Calliope," she laughs, but at least she does as told and drops her eyes back to the paper in front of her.
xxx
Arizona Robbins brings her coffee the next morning, and two mornings after that, and two after that, and they're friends, sort of.
They talk about the case, most of the time, and Arizona was completely right, they do work really, really well together.
There's more to it than that, though. There's something about Arizona that is just infectious, and Callie gets how every somewhat queer woman in the hospital is in love with her, 'cause she sort of is as well.
It doesn't mean anything, really. Callie's too caught up in EricaEricaErica and why to really think about anything else. But Arizona is kind and bubbly and so freaking happy all the time it's insane. She doesn't quite understand it, how a person can be just that positive, but god does she need a little happy in her life right about now.
xxx
"Arizona!"
"Calliope, how are you?"
There's that, too. Arizona's the only one besides her parents to defy her wish to be called Callie. It should annoy her, it really should, but instead it makes her feel warm, the way Arizona says her name, like it's something to be treasured, like it's something that's just hers.
"I think I've figured it out."
For once, Callie's grin is almost as big as Arizona's matching one, as the woman bounds over and pulls her into a hug that goes on, and on, and on.
xxx
The first surgery is a bust. The patient becomes too unstable the moment they put the metal plates in, and they have to remove them and close quickly to avoid any more damage.
In the scrub room Callie is angry and volatile, and lets out a growl of frustration as Arizona comes to stand next to her.
"It was meant to be perfect."
"We'll get it for next time. Just a few tweaks." Arizona's overwhelming optimism is so not what Callie needs right now, but Arizona's hand is on her arm, fingers rubbing in circles, around and around and around. She watches the way Arizona's fingers raise goosebumps on her skin, lets it focus her.
Callie lets her head drop, exhausted. "It was meant to be perfect."
xxx
In their patient's room, Callie stands just behind Arizona, hands in her coat pockets, watching the scene: the boy in bed, pale and still, mother next to him and sad, father at the foot of the bed watching, and she's seen it all before, she's seen it all before, but this time it's different. Because this father is angry, and he moves towards them with heated intent.
"This is your fault!" He's shouting, and right in Arizona's face. "You did this! You're the reason my son is a cripple. You were meant to be better than this! You were meant to be the best! What is wrong with you? What—"
He's red in the face, and Arizona keeps flinching but not saying anything, and he looks like he could keep going forever, like he could hit her if he worked himself up enough, if someone didn't step in and stop him…
So Callie steps in.
With one arm behind Arizona's back, and the other in front of her to placate, she steps in front of Arizona into the man's ire. "Hey, that's not fair. We're doing our best, but your son's case is extremely difficult. And it didn't work this time, but we'll keep trying, and hopefully it'll work next time. We just need to be patient, and we need to have hope. Anger won't solve anything."
The man deflates, and with a few more hurried reassurances, they retreat quickly.
Outside Arizona pulls on Callie's arm then sags against her. "Thank you. I don't know why I just froze."
Callie brings her arm up around Arizona, lets her wriggle closer. "No worries."
"You're my knight in super shining armour." Arizona giggles and reaches up to kiss Callie on the cheek.
Callie looks at Arizona's blonde curls and blue eyes and doesn't think Erica anymore. With Arizona's body against hers, and her lips on her cheek, Callie thinks 'Oh' and 'Wow this is nice' and 'God this is not good at all.'
xxx
"I don't date newborns."
They're almost half way through their patient's second surgery and all is going well when Arizona comes out with it.
"Excuse me?"
"Like, women who are new to their gay. It's too much trouble. I deal with newborns all day at work, so I'm just not interested in my personal life."
Callie is floored.
"That is actually the stupidest thing I have ever heard."
It's Arizona's turn for the indignant, "Excuse me?" now.
"You're excluding a huge number of women just because…they're a bit slower than you? They took a bit longer to figure things out? What the hell is that about?"
"Well it's not my problem—"
"And what even is a newborn anyway? Why is sexuality and sex the be all and end all? Erica was the first woman I ever slept with, and that doesn't make me inept, doesn't make me a 'newborn', and just because I've only slept with one woman doesn't make me not experienced in other ways, make me amazing in other ways. I cook, I dance, I used to be in the Peace Corps, I'm an amazing surgeon. What does my relationship history with woman have to do with my worth and dateability?!"
Callie is fired up, appalled at Arizona's nonsensical rule, but when she meets her eyes, Arizona is looking at her differently, like something's changed, and oh, oh, it hurts because, Callie realises, it has.
xxx
"Tell me about Erica."
Callie thinks of blonde curls and blue eyes, thinks 'like you', but remembers Arizona's brilliant smile and thinks 'but different', for the first time thinks, 'a hell of a lot less than you' and that is terrifying.
"What is there to tell?"
"What happened?"
"She left."
"Why?"
Callie shrugs. "Reasons."
It's the laugh, that gets her. It's too affectionate, too familiar. And it's the eyes, too blue, too kind, and god, Arizona is earnest.
"I don't know. I hurt her, I guess. I was trying to figure myself out, and I hurt her a little in the process, so she just left."
"And hurt you a lot."
It's not a question.
Callie hums, then sighs and feels like crying again.
"I don't want to hurt anymore."
Their gazes lock, and Arizona's eyes are brilliant and clear and god, she's just gorgeous, and Callie doesn't want to look away, doesn't want to but hates, hates, hates that she feels like she could happily look at Arizona for a really, really long time. But it's 'I don't date newborns' and 'Erica was the first woman' and Arizona's eyes drop too soon, and it's a hug rather than a kiss that she pulls Callie into, and her grip, tight, on Callie's thigh burns.
xxx
The machines are screaming through the OR, the noise deafening, and Callie was panicking, she was, but now she's clear.
"We need to bind the plates and cool the leg."
"What?! No." Arizona only just glances up at her from her focus on the blood gushing from the body cavity that will not stop bleeding.
"Yes, yes, yes. Start lowering his temp, please."
"Dr Torres, no. That will kill him."
"No, no, no, this will work."
She's determined, she's focused, and she knows what she has to do now.
"Dr Torres, stop."
She just needs…
"Dr Torres."
She needs to…
"Callie."
That gets Callie's attention, and her eyes snap up to meet Arizona's across the operating table. "This is the only way. It'll work, I know it will."
"It will kill him."
"No." She looks to the technician. "Keep lowering."
"Dr Torres. I am the attending, I outrank you. This is my case and you will do as I say. Get your hands off my patient, now." Arizona's eyes are hard, the first time Callie's seen her like this. It's scary, and alien, and it hurts.
"It's our case."
"I make the final decisions."
"Arizona."
Blue eyes flash towards her, warning. "Don't."
Callie takes a deep breath, tenses, prepares herself. "There's nothing wrong with being a newborn."
"What?" The way Arizona is looking at her now, with such scorn, disdain… But Callie can't think about that, can only think about the patient and how to make her understand.
"Maybe I am a newborn, you're right. I'm a resident after all, not an attending like you. So maybe I am a newborn. But you know what, there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing bad about being new. It means I'm more ambitious, less tired, it means I work more hours, learn more and faster, think outside the box. I'm not afraid of trying new things, and I'm not stuck in ridiculous ways that keep me from achieving something amazing."
Arizona's eyes have been burning through her as she spoke, hurried and flustered, but now they snap shut, and she's thinking, thinking.
"This will work. It's our only shot."
When Arizona looks at her again, her eyes are cold. Callie can tell she's furious, but she can also tell she's won.
"Fine."
xxx
The bar is loud and bustling, and Mark is buying her a drink, has already bought her two this evening, because she kicked ass and saved someone's legs today, and that's worth celebrating, but also she maybe lost an amazing friend, a friend she feels way too much for and maybe that influenced her actions in the OR a little too much and god. Arizona hadn't even looked at her afterwards. Not even to yell. It had just been stony silence, then storming off to God knows where. So Callie is drinking, because she should be goddamn elated, she was amazing in the OR today, but mostly she's just sad.
She notices the approaching footsteps somewhat distractedly. They're loud and determined, and then there's a tap on her shoulder and she's turning around to come face to face with an Arizona who looks kind of…wild.
"Hi?"
Arizona just waves her hand at Callie's attempt at a greeting, and just looks at Callie for a moment before coming right out with it.
"You are insolent, irresponsible, pushy, have no regard for authority—
"Wow, don't hold back…"
Arizona glowers and Callie shuts up quick.
"-incredibly arrogant, reckless, and rude, but goddamn it, you were also right." Arizona sighs, deflates a little. "You were right about…so many things. And I'm a reckless, arrogant idiot sometimes, and I was wrong."
Arizona's face is suddenly very, very close and Callie is suddenly very confused. All the fire and anger seems to have left Arizona's small body, and instead there's just that intense earnestness and something like intent in her eyes.
"You mean…" Callie stutters out as Arizona's hands come to rest on the bar on either side of her.
"There's nothing wrong with being a newborn."
And Arizona's lips are on hers, just the slightest pressure, and Callie thinks 'oh' and actually says, 'Oh' and she can feel the quirk begin in Arizona's lips, imagines that disarming, brilliant smile, so unlike anything Callie's ever seen before, but she's grinning for Callie now, she's in this with Callie now, so Callie smiles, and smiles, and smiles, and finally, finally, kisses her back.