Hello guys, thanks for your reviews so far :D I just retyped this up and reuploaded so all the typos and grammatic mistakes which happen when you're living off a really weak coffee at a stupid time at night (which was actually only around eleven, but I'd had a long day so shush.)

Falling

I always thought I would live forever.

Well, that's a lie. Everyone in Dauntless knows that it's a struggle to reach the age of thirty and we laugh about it as though it's nothing. I mean, come on. A few weeks ago- it feels like a lifetime now- Uriah had shot a muffin off my head. It was a pellet gun, I know, but to perfectly honest if he'd used a real gun I still wouldn't have flinched.

No, really! Uriah's a good shot.

None of us had realized how final death is until it's just about to happen, and then it's not a laughing matter anymore. No one sees how fragile life is; a beautiful chance that fades away after what only seems like a moment. Sometimes you miss it. Sometimes it's taken away from you.

I knew I was going to get killed off eventually. It's just I never thought it'd be like this. I had decided it would be a passionate hate-crime, or I'd accidentally trip of the chasm like everyone always told me I would. I didn't think it was going to be this logical.

It's true that time stops before you die. However, there's no video flashing before my eyes reminding me of my entire life- what I did right and wrong- like people say. All I can see is Tris and Christina staring at me helplessly, Hector on the edge of the roof and another little girl. I couldn't move to help them. Actually, I didn't even know they were there until I felt myself falling through the air, the wind hitting me like a slap. I see the girl on both my friends faces as they let me fall. I want to cry because they did, even though I know it's not their fault. The tears just don't come, because there's no time and it's not worth it anymore. I don't want to be full of negativity when any second I'm going to smash against that hard concrete floor and lose the ability to feel anything for the rest of eternity.

I can't feel sad in my last moments. Sadness is weak, and I am strong.

Instead I see Lyn with her usual grimace. My best friend and sister, she always managed to cheer me up. She even let her walls come down when it was just us and she wasn't hostile at all, but sensitive and a dreamer. Then there's Mum and Dad with their faces right next to each other, smiling at me. Of course they're together; one was never anywhere else without the other at their side. I haven't seen them since before the Erudite attack on Abnegation and I know there's a small chance that if heaven actually does exist, you know, like the Abnegation talk about, maybe they'd be there and we'd be together again.

I think of laughter. Of paintball fights and playing capture the flag. I think of school and climbing up the statue and the Erudite kids all whining at us to stop. I remember talking to Lynn and Tris about fighting in dresses, persuading them that they're obviously the best things to wear if you want to kick ass and who really cares if your opponent gets a flash of underwear in between. I remember Uriah popping out from nowhere and being a pervert.

Uriah.

My Uriah.

I see his face in front of me. His smile is so vivid in front of my eyes and his tattoo, too, which has always made me shudder because I've found snakes creepy since I was a little kid- Uriah said he got the tattoo to help me get rid of my fear. He was joking but I'm sure there was some truth to what he was saying .After all, snakes didn't appear in my Fearscape.

I feel his arms around me as I brace myself for the crushing impact. I feel warm, like the first time he kissed me.

Only Jeanine would have the cruelty to wake someone up just before they die. I forgive her just this once though, because if not I would die empty and instead I'm full of everything.

Fear, love, hate, adrenaline.

Uriah's voice fills my ears, shouting triumphantly. 'I love you, Mar!' it cried, 'I love you, I love you, I love you!'

I open my mouth to reply, but before I the air is squeezed out of my lungs and there's my eyes flash with white. All my thought processes crash, except for pain, and then as quickly as it came everything is gone except for one fleeting thought.

I love you too.
I love you.