Chapter 1 Deployed to Siberia / Prologue :D

- Jarod

Our Convertible lay in the midst of the burning rubble of the gas station in a crumpled, twisted heap. The firemen had to use the jaws of life to pull us from the car. They also found the comatose bodies of our friends Dakota and Andy.

We were all taken to the hospital and for three weeks we lay in comas. The awakening was simultaneous, an unknown miracle of an anomaly the doctors said.

I could remember everything that had happened while we were out, how we were transported to Equestria. The awful things I did with Alex to the ponies. I thought it was all just a dream, something that had never happened. I consulted Alex on the matter, hoping to gain some insight.

What I learned was far more horrible than I could imagine. He had seen and done the same things I had. It couldn't be a coincidence. Our tempestuous besmirchment of Ponyville was all too real.

I wanted to go back to the scene of our accident. To where it all began. I managed to get Alex to come with me, but Andy couldn't walk and Dakota had gotten short term memory loss from the accident. We strolled through the charred carcass of what once was a gas station.

Alex and I talked about our happenings in Equestria as we walked. Nothing of note came up until Alex said "Haha remember the Bryce Bots? They were pretty cool." At first, I pushed the thought aside but I remembered something.

"Oh. Shit." I said.

I ran over to the remains of the car and pried open the trunk. What was inside was worse than my initial speculations? In the trunk was a skinny, decrepit Rainbow Dash without wings, accompanied by the skeleton of Bryce clean picked of meat.

She seemed pretty shell shocked. I guess anyone would be, after what she did to survive in that trunk. It took some training but we managed to rehabilitate her. She was nearly the mare she used to be.

_
- Jarod

THREE YEARS LATER

"This is fucking bullshit, let my attack dog on the plane!" Alex yelled to the Lieutenant at the entrance of the plane.

After our discovery at the accident scene, and some hemming and hawing, we had decided to join the military. A large contributing factor to our decision was our book that we decided to write after our comas.

Needless to say, the book flopped and landed us such criticisms as "mentally deficient" and "trolls".

Which was complete bullshit, Alex had claimed, I for one thought it was a steaming pile of shit. Regardless, we joined the military along with our friends, Dakota and Andy.

Dakota had suffered some serious brain damage from the "incident" but the efforts of the doctors at the hospital restored most of his memory.

By most I mean all except his name, which we must constantly remind him of, lest he resorts back to Captain Jackbeef Sparrownuts the Grey. Andy had become a mute after the happening, evidently, the events were too much for him to handle.

The four of us, with no more opportunities in the world, joined the military.

For the first year, we had to smuggle Rainbow Dash in and out of the base to see her, but then we got clever. We disguised her as a dog, and with some heavy convincing of our superiors we got to keep her as our attack dog.

We didn't see any combat in our years in the service, but eventually we were chosen to operate an F.O.B. in Siberia just in case shit ever hit the fan. It would just be Rainbow Dash, Dakota, Andy, Alex, and I, for it was a small base.

Nothing more than a barracks, light armory, and a small hangar with a scout aircraft. We were due to leave today, but there was a small issue: no dogs on the plane.

"I'm sorry Sergeant, but it's a rule that they're no dogs allowed on these types of planes, they become a liability." The Lieutenant said.

"I'll shove my Glock up your-" Alex began, but I quickly cut him off.

"Forgive Sarge here, he can get a bit angsty about our dog, she's a part of the squad, y'know?" I said before Alex could secure himself a dishonorable discharge.

"I understand the bond people can have with their pets, but a rule is a rule. You'll have to find someone to take the dog before you can get on the plane." Responded the officer.

"Well.. we'll be back without her, I guess," I said to the Lieutenant as I began to walk away, gesturing for everyone else to follow.

We rounded a corner behind one of the air traffic control towers and I told everyone to wait there. I jogged across the base to the bunkhouses and ducked inside one. Sure enough, I found what I was searching for.

A duffel bag big enough to fit Rainbow Dash in. She was only a mere 3 feet tall in our world and fitting her into such a malleable thing like a duffel bag meant for carrying fatigues, rations, weapons, and all another assortment of things.

I rushed back to where I had left my comrades and told them of my idea. It was our only shot at smuggling Rainbow with us so everyone went along with it. With Rainbow stuffed into the bag, albeit a tight squeeze, we returned to the Lieutenant.

"Okay, we're all ready to go," I said to him.

"Well, I guess you're cleared to go. You didn't have that bag before though. Mind if I take a look at it?"

I had to think fast, so naturally, I said "No wait! That's.. uhh.. my personal stuff.."

"Oh really, like what?"

"Uhh… Dildos" I said as Andy began to cry, his repressed memories resurfacing.

The Lieutenant squinted his eyes, "I'm not sorry that you sick bunch of queers are being sent to Siberia. Have fun in hell fagolas." With that, he stepped aside and allowed us on the plane.