Prompt I saw on tumblr: "we were both drunk when you proposed to me and i accidentally posted about it across social media so now we're hungover and trying to figure out this mess bc we're not even dating"

A.N. Saw this prompt on tumblr (a place I rarely visit although I do have it… :D ) and couldn't just leave it! So, here you go guys – lazy author tries not to be so lazy…

Warnings: AU, yaoi – man x man, ZoSan/SanZo, drunk people, a bit out of character because of it… lots of confusion, cursing…

Calm Down, We Can Just Elope

Sanji felt smashed.

He and Zoro had been celebrating the end of their second year as university students and to say they had a bit too much was an understatement. Their usual crew had been out at a bar until one am and at that point Sanji had been lightly drunk, a bit swaying as he walked, but coherent. Everyone parted ways and because Zoro and he were roommates they went together to their apartment.

While walking they saw a bar that was supposed to be open for four more hours and it was hosting a drinking contest with winner not having to pay for his drinks. Zoro was immediately up to it and Sanji didn't have enough energy to protest. They ended up in the bar and Zoro immediately wrote himself in the participant list. Soon the game started and Zoro went ahead to get hammered while the blond stayed sitting by the bar sipping his drink – how could you not drink in a bar at a drinking contest? (Even if you're not the one who's in the contest, you have to support your friend!)

An hour and a half later Zoro barely won the contest and the owner was so impressed he didn't even make Sanji pay for his four more cocktails in good sportsmanship. They left the bar happy and drunk of their asses. They tried walking, but swayed way too much and Sanji had to immediately grab Zoro's forearm to stay up.

"Whoa, everything is moving too much…"

Zoro chuckled. "Dumbass, we just had too much to drink, I think I will fall over if I attempt to walk…"

Sanji closes his eyes and tries to get the spinning out of his head. "Giving up on walking? Let's call a cab or something?"

The green haired man shakes his head and walks a brave step forward. "Nah, it's close, we will make it."

"Yes, let's do it…" Sanji laches his hand around Zoro's shoulder for support and takes a big step forward.

Zoro grins and takes a step as ridiculous as Sanji's. "I bet we will fall over at least twice until we make it."

Sanji giggles and everything starts to feel so light. "Nah, I bet ten bucks we won't, I feel like I could fly off any minute."

"You sure you're not high or something? Flying off?"

"No, no, maybe I praised it wrong, I feel like everything around is fine and like life isn't pushing my shoulders down anymore, I feel like there's no worries and I just could fly off 'cause everything is fine. Do you get it?"

"Heh, maybe, not sure, but have you seen the sky? The full Moon is right above us."

Sanji turned his head up. "Wow, you're right, you can't really see the starts, but the Moon looks awesome, so big and full…"

"Look were you're going, you're the one who bet we won't fall over."

"Oh, yea… did you know Moon is also called Luna? And that it's gradually getting further away from Earth? It's like really little every year but it is…"

"Oookaaaay…"

"And those craters you see have rules about naming them, like the biggest ones go for scholars, artists and others like that…"

"Concentrate shit-cook."

The blond turned his head towards his friend. "Don't call me that! It's mean!"

"Yea? And you call me Marimo all the time – that's mean too."

"No, no, no. It's mean because you don't know any better, Marimos are rare moss balls that grow in circles, it's a rare form to grow in. And their color look exactly like your hair. When we first met and your hair was short it even looked like it in texture!"

Zoro blinked a few times. "Huh, so it's not that much of an insult then, you're basically calling me a rare moss, which is still insulting, but something I can understand, the color does remind me of moss…"

At this point the two had stopped in front their building and Sanji was looking at the other male with wide eyes. "You admit it? Dumbass, don't admit stuff like that."

"Hmmm," Zoro hummed as they walked into the lobby, "your food isn't bad cook, it's quite great actually."

"Shit, you're trying to make me cry aren't you? Stupid moss-brain."

The green haired student grinned. "Cry huh? From happiness? Damn Sanji, didn't know my opinion mattered so much, would have said long ago that I love your cooking."

"Gods damn it Zoro, I feel teary now! Shut up, you asshole!"

"Na-ha, ya wish, and I meant it too." Zoro fumbled through his clothes as he searched for his keys, rattling them once he found them.

Sanji leans on the dark oak door (yes, he does know the difference between different woods, thank you very much) and closes his eyes. "I feel like Chopper when he gets praised now, are you happy?"

"Pfft, are you gonna start wiggling like him too?" With a click of the handle the door opens and the blond falls inside face down on the floor only in the last second managing to stop his fall by putting his hands in front of him by instinct. Zoro pushes him away from doorframe, closes and locks the door and slides down on the ground next to Sanji to take off his shoes. "Don't fall asleep here dart-brow."

Sanji sits up and blinks several times. "I win our bet, you owe me ten bucks."

The blond starts taking off his dress shoes and Zoro curses. "Shit, I hoped you forgot about it."

"Ya wish, you can pay me up tomorrow, let's get to kitchen, we need water not to get dehydrated. I think you drank like half of your body mass in alcohol at the very least, you need water and bathroom."

Zoro chuckles and gets up with the help of the wall and marches to the kitchen. "Yes honey."

"Don't leave me here! I don't think I can get up!"

The other male comes back and pulls the blond up. "Can you get to kitchen at least?"

"Don't underestimate me! There are walls I can lean on everywhere!"

"Alright, alright, go on princess."

Sanji huffs and lifts his chin up. "For your information I'm a prince."

Zoro laughs. "Nice ass mister prince."

And indeed, Sanji's ass was nice, especially with his pants and underwear sunk halfway down it from all that rolling on the ground. "Shit!" Sanji quickly pulls up his pants, his cheeks getting even more pink adding up to the blush from intoxication.

"It is actually nice though."

"Dumbass, stop checking me out and get to the kitchen."

"Yes darling."

Silence stretches between the two for a couple of minutes as they both drink water and visit the bathroom, it's not awkward or anything, they're just silently doing their tasks, enjoying the noises of the city from outside their window.

In the end both of them end up on the couch in front the TV. The TV is turned on MTV, some stupid songs playing on there, but it's only background noise because as soon as Zoro sits down he immediately speaks. "You know you should be the housewife instead of marrying some poor girl. You can cook, you worry like it's everybody's business and look girly enough to get dude's attention, why do you need a girl?"

Sanji lights up a cigarette and only speaks after he puffs out his first cloud of smoke. "Gay men are either wimps or assholes. The good ones are straight, I think I have bigger chances finding myself right girl than right man."

"You consider me an asshole? 'Cause you need your ass kicked if you think I'm a wimp."

The blond laughs. "Yea, you're asshole, a bit better than most 'cause I know you since childhood, I remember your adorable Marimo ass when you were seven – those were the times."

Zoro laughs too, the memories are hilarious of them as small children. "Yea, you're right, those were the times - you walking around and everyone mistaking you for a girl. I remember some grannies telling us we will make a nice couple when we grow up."

"Ughh, don't remind me, I was really androgynous when I was small, good thing I grew out of it, I get enough men trying to hook up with me as it is…"

The other male laughs again. "So no to becoming housewife?"

"Nah, I wouldn't be a housewife if I married a guy, you know that. But if a nice enough guy showed up – maybe? Sex with men is better than with girls if the guy has good technique."

"Ohh, slept with guys? Never shared experience before, how was it?"

Sanji took another drag and shrugged. "Wanted to experiment, had a few flings here and there. It was awesome though, probably would have been even better if there were feelings involved."

"Hmmmm." Zoro hums and spaces out for a second leaving Sanji to finish up his cigarette. "Am I good enough for you to marry me?"

The blond raises and eyebrow and looks up and down through his friend. "Promising career, no too many annoying habits, enough information to blackmail, attractive, someone I actually care about… sure. Gonna propose?"

The green haired man gets this glint in his eyes that makes Sanji shudder. "Why not? Wait a moment, gonna get a ring."

Zoro gets up and goes to his room and leaves astonished Sanji sitting on the sofa. After a few moments the blond starts laughing even getting a tear out just as he tries to calm down. "Why the hell not?" He whispers to himself.

After a few crashes from Zoro's room, Sanji's roommate returns grinning wolfishly, a small jewelry box in his hand. He falls on both of his knees by Sanji's feet and opens it up. "Marry me?"

"Shit, where did you get a ring? Am I getting some poor soul's ring you've intended to propose to?"

"Nah, it's my late grandma's, grandpa gave it to me saying I should use it if I like it." Sanji inspects the golden band carefully, it's quite simple, there's few curved lines on it and it looks like waves and Sanji likes them quite a lot. "So? Gonna marry me or not? Don't leave the dude hanging."

Sanji looks up at Zoro's grin, it's not teasing, but quite warm, like when Sanji cracks up some joke and it's not enough to make Zoro laugh but gets him grinning. The blond grins back and nods. "Sure, give me that ring."

The younger male (and does it annoy Zoro all the time that he's younger!) carefully slides the ring on cook's ring finger, but it's a bit big, so it hangs there. Both of them laugh and Zoro pushes himself up and sits right next to Sanji. It's closer than ever before, there's no friendly gap between them – side by side, legs touching, Sanji finds it quite comforting. He inspects the ring on his finger and smiles. "It looks nice on my hand, could be a size smaller, but that's fixable."

He leans on the sofa, further inspecting the band and his now fiancé leans on his shoulder, his hair tickling Sanji's neck, it isn't annoying, but it gets Sanji's gut flutter. After a few more moments a genius idea gets into his head and he takes his phone from his pocket and snaps a picture of his hand with the ring. He grins like a Cheshire cat and giggles a bit as he's posting the photo up.

'Zoro proposed. Isn't this a beauty?' Sanji giggles as he writes the comment for his picture; everyone will be so jealous!

Zoro raises his head. "Whatcha doing?"

"Posting up a picture of my ring."

"Oh, isn't there a thing on facebook about putting up your relationship status?"

"There is! We should definitely change it!"

It takes half a minute to figure out how to do it and in another fifteen seconds their status changes into 'Engaged' and Sanji can't stop but giggle like a small kid. Suddenly he stops and looks really seriously at his green haired fiancé. "We should close the deal like couples do, isn't that a thing too? A kiss after proposal?"

Zoro pushes himself up from where he had draped himself over Sanji. His eyes are serious as he raises his hands up and puts them on Sanji's cheeks. The blond feels his heart rate pick up and not to feel awkward he puts his hands on Zoro's shoulders and leans into the kiss. In a second's time their lips meet and this time it's definitely awkward, but they somehow get by, moving their lips, trying out the best angle. Soon their tongues are out of their own mouths and exploring the other's.

It gets a bit heated and Sanji starts feeling early signs of arousal, luckily they break off in time both gasping for air, eyes locked. Zoro grins and chuckles. "That was hot."

Sanji nods not able to break his gaze, he clutches Zoro's shoulders and pulls him into another kiss. Zoro seems a bit surprised, but quickly falls into the kiss's rhythm. This time they pull apart sooner, both grinning. "I would suggest more, but I'm feeling too tired to properly fuck you into the mattress, so how about we postpone that for tomorrow?"

The young chef blushes at his fiancé's proposal, but nods – he feels quite tired now too. They get up, turn off the TV and turn to their bedrooms. The rooms are in front of each other and the pair stops by their respectable door. They gaze at each other awkwardness filling the air until Sanji huffs and pulls the green haired male by the collar into his room. "I think it will be proper to sleep in one bed and mine is nicer than yours."

Zoro grins happily and quickly disposes of his clothes, falling into Sanji's big, comfortable bed with only underwear. The blond rolls his eyes and neatly folds his fiancé's clothes and does the same with his once he's out of them. He falls on the bed next to green haired man and pulls duvet on both of them. He turns his head to Zoro's direction and smiles. "G'night Marimo."

"Night shit cook."

\[-II-]/ \[-II-]/ \[-II-]/ \[-II-]/

Sanji wakes up because of constant annoying buzzing of his phone.

Not even opening his eyes he grabs the annoying device and slides his finger into the answering side and puts it to his phone. "Hello?" He says groggily, his throat and mouth are dry and itch in the wrong way. After he pushes himself a bit up sudden dizziness hits him and his head feels like it's gonna split open.

"What the fuck eggplant?" Zeff's voice comes from the other side of the line, he seems quite angry and Sanji can't figure out why.

"Huh?"

"Don't shit with me eggplant, what the fuck does that mean?"

"Wut? Talk clearer old man, I have no idea what you're talking about." The blond says as he rubs his eyes.

"Don't play stupid, I mean that picture you posted on the stupid site, and the stupid relationship status change – since when you and Zoro were a thing?!"

Sanji's eyes shot wide open and he glances at his hand with the ring on it remembering the events of last night; what the hell was he going to say to Zeff? "Ummm, can I talk to you latter? My head is splitting and I don't feel well. Talk to you later, bye."

"San-!"

Sanji quickly pressed 'End Call' buttons and slumps on his pillow. He was in deep shit, and he himself was half to blame…

Suddenly blond was properly aware of his bed partner as Zoro stretches and yawns next to him. "S'up cook?"

The blond frowns as he unlocks his phone and sees 100+ notification sign from his facebook account, shit tons of missed calls and texts. "Shit is up, my father just called, why the hell did we get engaged last night?"

Zoro turns on his back and stares up at the ceiling. "You had a nice ass - that's why."

"The fuck, you dumbass! You proposed to me because of that?!"

"Well I figured I will have your food forever – that didn't seem like a bad deal to me, of course, your usual shitty attitude aside."

Sanji's cheeks lit up a bit as he once again buries his head in his pillow; why gods? Why?! "Gosh, I would kick your ass if I didn't have this killer headache."

Zoro laughs and sits up; that asshole never had headaches when he was hungover. "Relax, you'll have plenty of opportunities." The man gets out of bed and stretches. "You stay here, I will bring you some water and painkillers, you should sleep this off."

Too tired to argue Sanji closes his eyes, rolls around on his back and tries to get rid of the pain. Seemingly seconds after Zoro returns and helps Sanji to drink the medicine. "Now sleep."

"Noooo, what about our engagement? We need to talk about it…"

"I will talk with our friends – you should sleep it all off."

Sanji nods weakly and closes his eyes quickly falling asleep.

Zoro grins as he watches the blond sleep – he made quite a sight. The bed was a mess and it looked like two people slept in it, Sanji was covered in duvet only up to his upper half and he looked naked under the covered part. Noon sun was peeking through the curtains and made quite an artistic view.

Taking out his phone Zoro snaps a picture of sleeping Sanji and grinning posts it up on his facebook wall.

'Sanji's still tired after yesterday ;). Talk to you guys later.'

"Dumbass, as if I'm gonna let you go." Sanji was going to kill him, but Zoro will die as a happy man…

A.N. This is gonna be a three-shot or something like that, you could kind of consider it part of 'Drunk Zoro' series but it's more of a separate piece…

Here Zoro is drunk, although he might not look like it, he relaxes and does whatever he wants when he's drunk – hence the proposing business.

Sanji is relaxed drunk type, he starts rambling about random facts and does random things – getting engaged to one of his best friends.