34.➝ "Somewhere deep inside me, I still have hope that you'll fall in love. How pathetic."
Edwin and Erland sat on the ginger's bed, each of them wrapped up in their own activities, Edwin having his nose buried in his book, while Erland was busy sketching in his electronic notebook. Neither of them said anything, not wanting to disturb the other, though there backs were pressed against each other for support.
"Why are skirts so hard to draw." Erland grumbled after a while. Edwin looked up from his book slightly, and looked straight towards the wall.
"You don't fully appreciate them?" He suggested, making the other scoff.
"Right, sure, that makes sense." Erland grumbled as he stared back at his tablet. Edwin leaned his head back onto Erland's shoulder, his heart racing a bit from the action, but his face didn't give that away.
"I'm serious. I started wearing skirts, and now I can do anything." He said, and it was true. Well, the skirt part was. Edwin had recently been getting into fashion. At first everyone had found it a bit weird, but then again, the Austrian boy had always been a bit weird. Even now, Edwin was wearing a skirt that did nothing for his ass, which Erland had noted when he came over.
"Okay, I'll borrow one of yours." Erland said, before leaning his own head back on the other's shoulder. Edwin sighed quietly, but smiled.
"Why do you wear them anyways? I mean, I don't judge you, but I'm curious." Erland said, That however, did cause a bit of outward emotion to escape the younger man, and he blushed a bit.
"LIke I tell everyone else, I feel comfortable in them. Don't tell me you're into gender stereotypes?" Edwin teased, making the ginger laugh.
"I'm an artist on Tumblr, what do YOU think?" He said, making both the teens giggle slightly, until they were just happily leaning on one another.
After a moment of silence, Edwin did speak up again though, his face bright red, but these thoughts had occupied his mind for some time.
"Do I look like a girl?" He asked quietly.
Edwin would have never told anyone this, but, fashion wasn't the only reason he had started wearing the skirts and dresses and doing his hair differently and even occasionally wearing makeup. He had come to hate his male body, but not for obvious reasons.
He had started to like Erland. Really like him, but the guy was as straight as a ramp. He was constantly drawing naked women, or talking about how nice their makeup was, and Ediwn had even found a bikini magazine once in his room. It had killed him inside. He was convinced though that if he was just more...girly, maybe Erland would like him. Now Edwin had grown to really like the skirts and the hair, though he could do without the eyeliner poking him in the face (Though he was AMAZING at drawing wings) but it had all been in an effort to grab Erland's attention.
And to Edwin's knowledge, it hadn't done jack shit.
"I mean, kind of." Erland said, a bit confused as to why he was asking that question. "Wasn't that the point? But I could never stop seeing you as a guy." Erland confessed, before backtracking.
"Unless...Unless this was your way of coming out as trans and I just totally threw you down." He said, a momentary panic washing over him, but Edwin simply blew air out of his mouth and frowned.
"No." He mumbled, but now Erland was worried.
"Seriously, it's okay if you are, I'd support you no matter what." He explained, turning around so he could hold the other's shoulders. Edwin blushed a bit.
"I'm not trans, Erland." He said,before closing his eyes. "I just wanted to know if you thought of me as a girl." He said. Erland cocked his eyebrow in confusion.
"Why would you want that if you aren't? I like you as you are, skirts, no skirts, though, if you are going to keep wearing them, please get ones that make your butt look nice, instead of pancake." He teased, but Edwin wasn't really impressed. Erland frowned, before crawling to the other side of the bed so he could look the other in the eyes.
"You're acting weird. What's wrong, Edwin?" Erland asked. The German sighed and looked away.
"I'm gay." Edwin confessed, but Erland didn't seem surprised.
"I mean, I had kind of assumed, but I'm glad you told me." Erland explained, but Edwin rolled his eyes.
"I mean, if it makes you feel better, I'm pretty fucking pan." Erland explained, making the other's purple eyes grow wide.
"What?"
"Wait, you didn't know?" Erland asked, his own blue eyes matching the other's shock. "I literally post about it all the time on Tumblr!"
"I don't follow you on tumblr!" Edwin argued, as the realization that Erland was pansexual washed over him.
"You don't follow me? What the hell…" Erland mumbled, before Edwin shook his head, not wanting to get distracted.
"Okay, but why are you ONLY ever drawing naked girls? I thought you were extremely straight!"
"I'm an artist on tumblr, of course I draw naked girls!" Erland argued, making Edwin grow silent. The ginger could see the shock all over Edwin's face, before he began to put two and two together.
"Wait...were you dressing up as a girl to try and impress me?" Erland asked, and Edwin's face immediately grew red.
"No...No way…" He argued, but Erland was already pushing him on the bed.
"Oh my god, you little gay dork, you like me!" He said teasingly. The German stayed on the bed, covering his red face.
"No one could like that ugly face." Edwin mumbled, but Erland had caught him. All of this had all been an effort in impressing the Swedish boy. He was pretty touched, though Edwin hadn't needed to go so far into it.
"You're too cute." Erland teased and bent over Erland, kissing his neck lightly, since it was the only part of his head that wasn't being hidden to try and mask Edwin's shame. But his face began to grow red for different reasons now as Erland pulled up.
"Well, my pan ass likes you too." He confessed, turning a bit red himself, but nowhere near the level of Edwin.
"I hate you…" Edwin said, but Erland just shrugged and patted his skirted leg.
"Does your pancake butt want another kiss, or are you just going to lay there insulting me?" Erland asked, making the German sit up, though he still grumbled unhappily as Erland kissed his cheek lightly.