A/N: I've been on a DE kick since the influx of spoilery stills from upcoming episodes. So read, review, enjoy and give me feedback and criticism. I want to make sure my Damon stays true to our favorite vamps. :)
Where the hell is she? Damon grumbled to himself as he searched Elena's room for any sign of where the brunette vampire could have gone. She had been missing for a few hours now and Damon was worried. He knew she wasn't in a good place after she had killed Connor, but she had refused to talk to him.
Damon stalked out of the Gilbert house and stood on the porch. He knew Elena wouldn't have called Stefan. Was there anyone ho she would talk to? Damon thought back to the last few days, had Elena said anything that would help him find her.
The Wickery Bridge. If Elena were still down about her transition, then would she go to the place where it had all started? Everything had started at that Bridge; Elena's whole story began there. Damon wasted no time, heading to the bridge at vampire speed.
Elena stared at the water below the bridge. It wasn't really moving, just sitting there. How could such a calm looking thing be the cause of so much pain? Elena watched as her hands shook and tears fell onto them. She hadn't been herself since the transition. She had been a distorted version of the Elena Gilbert she had known. And she hated it. She hated herself. She hated everything that she had become.
Would it be so bad if she just ended it all now? Could she do it and leave Jeremy? Jeremy would probably be better off without her around.
How would she do it? Stake herself? Jump over the bridge and what? Drown? Vampires couldn't drown. She'd just have to rip out her own heart. It would be better than living the way she was. Hating herself and everything she did.
"Elena, whatever you're thinking, stop.' Damon stopped at the opposite side of the bridge. Elena looked up, and Damon saw the tears trailing down her cheeks. His heart clenched, hating that she was in so much pain and she wouldn't let him in.
Screw Stefan. He was going to break her with all of his crap about not losing control. Damon scowled as he recalled his younger brother's words from the night Elena killed Connor. He couldn't believe Elena was still so hung up on a guy who only liked her as a human. It killed him that Elena though she deserved that.
"What Damon? Just leave me alone." Elena screamed, her voice raw. Damon took a few steps towards her.
"I can't Elena. I can't leave you when you're like this. You need to talk to someone." He held out his hand, hoping she'd take it. His gesture went ignored.
"I don't have to talk to anyone. No one knows what I'm going through." She began crying, knees buckling, as she sunk to the ground. Damon ran over, barely catching her as she fell. He cradled her close to him and held her tight.
"Elena, please, talk to me. I want to understand. I have to understand." Damon stroked her hair as she sobbed into his chest.
"I hate everything, Damon. I hate myself. I never…I never wanted to be this. I never wanted to be like you." Her words were muffled, but Damon heard them. A few weeks ago, Elena's words would have cut him deep. Today he understands what she means. He saw the look in her eyes as she buried Connor. She was in so much pain and there was nothing he could do.
"There's a cure, Elena. A cure for vampirism." He spoke softly, knowing she would hear him. It was the only thing he could think of that would give her some solace. It didn't matter that he refused to believe Stefan or that he was afraid to get his hopes up.
Elena picked her head up form his chest. "What? A cure? Don't lie to me Damon."
Damon shook his head, "I'm not. Stefan told me just before…." I almost ripped out his heart, was what Damon wanted to say, but just left the sentence hanging.
"Why wouldn't he tell me?" Elena sat up, energized by the news.
"He's been working with Klaus. I don't want to say anything bad about my brother…ah, who am I kidding? Stefan's probably made a deal with the Big Bad Original to turn you human again so Klaus can use your blood and Stefan can have his precious human Elena back." Damon scowled, too caught up in his words to realize the effect they would have on Elena.
"What are you saying Damon? That my ex-boyfriend is just using me? That I'm only useful when I'm a human?" She pushed up from the ground and glared at him. Damon stood up just as quickly and locked eyes with Elena.
"What I'm saying is that Stefan only likes you as a human. He wants this cure so he can turn you back because he doesn't want you as a vampire." Damon was fired up, his eyebrows were flaring and he clenched his fists.
The air emptied from Elena's sails and she visibly sagged. "Oh. I guess we weren't meant to stay together then."
"Damnit Elena. Screw Stefan! He doesn't know what he lost. I know you remember everything, what don't know is how you feel about anything. I'm going to say this and you're going to remember it. I don't care if you're human or a vampire. I love you either way. I love you in spite of the vampirism. I love you before it, I'll love you during it and if this curse turns out to be true, I'll love you if you're a human again." Damon stopped, breathing heavily. "What you do with that information is up to you. Just don't jump, okay?"
He ran off, leaving Elena open-mouthed and staring at the place where he used to be. She stood on the bridge until it became dark, absorbing everything Damon had told her, and sorting through her feelings.
Damon sat on the couch, swishing his whiskey around, staring at the flames dancing in the fireplace. It was a freeing experience, telling Elena exactly how he felt and then leaving her uncompelled after the fact. He wondered if she would show up. A timid knock on the door came just as he took a sip of the alcoholic drink.
He found Elena on the other side of the door. She gave a very small smile, barely a quirk of her lips.
"I'm sorry. Can I come in?" She asked and Damon stepped aside, gesturing with his arm for her to come in.
They stood in the foyer for a few minutes. Damon placed his tumbler on the hall table and leaned against the wall. He resisted the urge to cross his arms, knowing it made him look angry.
"If what you said is true…Damon, I can't jump into another relationship right now. I don't know how to control myself. I…I've never felt so…alone…scared. I don't know what to feel. And I hate it!" Elena didn't cry this time, something Damon was incredibly grateful for. Instead she moved into the living room and sunk to the couch. She dropped her head into her hands and didn't look up when Damon sat on the couch next to her.
"Elena, you can't keep all of this to yourself. It'll make you explode. I'm going to do my own research and find out if this cure is real. If it is and I find it, then it's up to you. Take it or don't take it, but either way, I'll be by your side. And until I find the cure, I'll be right here to help you control yourself. Whenever you need me." Damon stroked Elena's hair and she leaned into him.
After a few minutes, Damon heard Elena's soft snores. He gave a genuine smile and then frowned. It was only 7:30; Elena must have been even worse than he could have imagined. He wondered if Elena would ever share the full extent of what was going through her head.
He would be by her side until she wanted to tell him. He would be by her side , no matter what.