Silent Tears

"I can't breathe," Tony said as he sat on the rooftop, trying hard not to look at Kate's body. As he put his head in his hands, he realized he still had her blood on his face. He looked up at Gibbs and saw noting but a blank look on his bosses face. Then he saw Gibbs reach for his cell phone.

"Gibbs! I am so glad its you. Tell me what's going on." Abby said frantically as she answered the phone.

"Abs…" his voice trailed off as he felt his throat clam up. "Abs, it's Kate."

"What about Kate?"

"Ari….Ari shot her. She's gone."

"Oh my…..Tony? You? McGee?"

"We're all fine. Kate took a shot in the vest for me. Then Ari killed her. We'll be in shortly. Send Ducky."

Abby stared at Ducky as she heard Gibbs hand up the phone. "What do we do now?"

"That is a good question, my dear." Ducky answered.

Meanwhile, Tony and Gibbs were sitting on the roof, waiting for McGee.

"Oh, god," they heard him say as he arrived at their position.

"Ari," Gibbs answered.

"Can we go? I need air." said Tony.

"Go ahead. I'll wait for Ducky."

Tony nodded as he stood and headed from the rooftop.

McGee looked at Gibbs as Tony disappeared through the door.

"Go with him." Gibbs said. McGee nodded and headed after Tony.

Gibbs took a deep breath and knelt next to Kate He looked down at her and shivered. He reached down and closed her eyes.

The tears began to flow.

Ducky and Palmer drove in silence. There was nothing to say. They'd lost an agent today. A friend.

Arriving at the scene, Ducky took a deep breath before crawling out of the van. Looking around he saw McGee, but there was no sign of Tony.

"She's on the roof, Ducky," McGee said, his voice cracking.

He nodded as he and Palmer headed up.

As Palmer walked slowly over to Kate, Ducky went to Gibbs.

"Jethro?"

"He's dead, Duck. I'll rip him apart."

"Why don't you get off this roof? Palmer and I can handle this."

Gibbs nodded and headed towards the door.

McGee was in shock. He wasn't sure if he was going to cry, scream, or throw things. All he knew was that he needed to talk to Abby. So he called her.

"Tim?" she answered.

"Abs. She's….Kate's…..."

"I know. Gibbs told me."

"It could have been me. Or anyone of us. Why Kate?"

"Because Ari is a sick and twisted son of a sweetie."

He paused.

"Tim?"

"I need to see you."

"I'll be here when you get here. I promise."

McGee smiled slightly as he hung up the phone.

Tony wasn't smiling. In fact, he felt sick to his stomach. He still couldn't believe what had happened.

Kate. 'My god,' he thought. 'I have Kate's blood all over my face.' He felt his stomach churn.

Fighting tears, he dialled a number he knew by heart.

"Charisma Ryan." she answered.

"It's me." he said, his voice cracking.

"What's wrong?"

"Kate."

"What happened?"

"She's…she's….she's gone, Char."

"Oh god! How?"

"Ari Hawsari shot her."

"Tony, I am so sorry."

"I need to see you. Can you meet me at headquarters?"

"I'll get someone to cover my classes. I'll be there in less then an hour."

"Thanks," he whispered as he hung up the phone.

It was then he realized he was crying.

For the first time in al the years at his job, Dr. Ducky Mallard was sick to his stomach. He never thought he would ever be.

Seeing Kate dead did it to him.

She was not only a member of the team, and a friend, she was also like a daughter to him.

Now, he had to put her in a body bag like he would any anonymous body.

Except, she wasn't anonymous. She had a name, a history, a life.

And she was supposed to have a huge future ahead of her.

Ari took that from her. So help him if, or when, Gibbs finds him.

Quietly, Ducky prayed for Kate, her family and the people at NCIS. God knows, they all needed it.

Abby was frantic. She was in shock from the news of Kate's murder.

She was also surprised McGee said he needed her. They hadn't talked much since their huge fight.

But, she needed him too. In this time of sadness, they all needed each other. It would be the only way they all survived.

She heard footsteps behind her and turned to see Charisma. Not saying a word, her sister walked over to her and wrapped Abby in a hug.

For the first time that day, Abby cried.

McGee and Tony arrived at the lab to find both Abby and Charisma waiting for them.

Without saying a word, Tony walked over to Charisma, took her hand, and led her outside the lab.

Abby walked over to McGee and wrapped her arms around him. She felt herself start to cry as he did.

"Why wasn't it me? It should have been," she heard him whisper.

She pulled back and looked at him. "Don't you ever say that! It shouldn't have been any of you. It's tragic."

"It was almost me. A sniper almost killed me. Ari did kill her."

"Tim, she died a hero. Don't forget that. She deserves to be remembered." With that, she hugged him again.

Tony was silent. He wasn't sure he could find the right words. Charisma waited.

He held her hand as he looked at the sunset.

He felt like if he actually spoke, he would loose it. As he looked at Charisma, he lost it anyway.

Gibbs could barely drive. The tears in his eyes blurred his vision. He just had to get away.

In all the years at NCIS, he'd never walked away from a corpse. But this time, he just couldn't stay.

Not when that corpse was someone he knew. Someone he cared about.

He didn't know where he was going. He just needed to go.

He'd know when he got there.

Abby waited for McGee to speak. She felt it was better for both of them if she did.

Finally, he looked at her. "I'm sorry about my outburst earlier."

"It's okay, Tim. We al feel the same way. It shouldn't have been Kate, or anyone. But is was. Now, we need to fix it."

"How do we do that?"

"Let my father have Ari."

"He'd lose his job."

"At this point, I really don't think he cares."

McGee sighed and nodded. "So….Abs?"

"Yeah?"

"I….I love you. I don't want you to be mad at me anymore."

"I love you too. And I'm not."

Ducky couldn't bring himself to open the body bag. He didn't want to see Kate like that again. He didn't want to do an autopsy.

He couldn't do one.

He shouldn't have to. This was someone's cruel joke. It had to be. There was no way he was going to believe Kate was gone.

There's no reason she should be.

For the first time in Ducky's long career, he passed the autopsy onto another M.E.

For the first time, he cried.

Tony had been silent so long, Charisma was worried. She leaned on him and listened to his breathing.

"I never got a chance to tell her what she really meant to me. That she wasn't just a team mate, or a friend. I loved her like a sister. Now, she'll never know that."

"She knew Tony."

"Did she?"

"Her and talked while you were in isolation. She told me she cared about you more then she ever let on. She loved you too. She knew how you felt."

"Why didn't she say anything?"

"Why didn't you?"

"I don't know. I guess I thought she knew."

"She thought you knew too."

He was quiet for a bit. Then, he started to cry. "What am I supposed to do? What are we supposed to do now that she's gone? My partner's gone, Char. I was supposed to protect her. I failed her."

"You had no idea anything like that was going to happen. You did everything you could. No one blames you."

"I blame me."

"Please don't. It's not your fault. It's Ari's. Please don't blame yourself."

"I miss her, Char."

"We all do."

Tony looked up at his fiancé with tears in his eyes. She wrapped him in her arms, feeling him start to cry.

When Gibbs finally stopped driving, he sat silently in his car for the longest time. He realized his hands were shaking.

Stepping out of his car, he took a deep breath and headed to familiar territory. His son's grave. He knelt down before the angel and closed his eyes.

"I'm not a spiritual person, Junior, but I do think you are in a nice, peaceful place." He paused and took a breath. "I need you to do me a favor. A close friend of mine just died and I need you to make sure she adjusts okay when she gets there. She didn't deserve this, just like you didn't. You're the only one I trust with this. Promise me, you'll take care of her."

Gibbs felt a breeze on the back of his neck. Getting his answer, he finally wept.

Gibbs felt it would be nice if everyone said something at Kate's memorial.

Ducky went first.

"Caitlin Todd was a smart, beautiful and caring young woman. She came to NCIS full force, just as she did with everything she did. She was full of youthful exuberance, that was taken from us too soon. She will forever be a part of NCIS. Never forgotten, never replaced. Goodbye, Caitlin."

As Ducky headed back to his seat, McGee headed up to the podium.

"Kate was the first person to truly make me feel at home here. She treated me like a friend from day one. She rarely had a bad word to say about anyone. She was a beautiful person inside and out. She will be forever missed."

Abby went next.

"Kate was one of my best friends. She was funny, caring, and a beautiful person. She could always make me laugh. She was my confidante, team mate, and adopted sister. She will always be in our hearts and memories."

Gibbs was next.

"Kate Todd fit so effortlessly into NCIS. She was never out of place here. She was a beautiful person with a beautiful soul. She was a great friend who was loved by everyone she worked with. She was a wonderful addition here. She took a bullet to save my life and was taken from us much too soon. She will be sorely missed by everyone. Forever."

Tony was last to speak.

"Kate Todd was one of my best friends. She was the best partner I ever could have asked for. She was passionate in everything she did. She was smart, funny and beautiful." Tony paused and took a deep breath to fight back the tears. "She will…..ahem, excuse me. She will never know how truly loved she was. She was one of the greatest people I have ever met. She put up with my immature sarcasm and jokes. She put me in my place more often then not." Tony's voice began to crack as he continued. "I don't have anything to add about Kate that hasn't already been said, so I'll end this way: I love you, Kate Todd. You will never be forgotten."

Tony stepped away from the podium silently and headed away from the people. As he heard the shots, tears began flowing down his cheeks.

They stood silently at Kate's grave. No one needed to say anything. There was nothing to say. Their silent tears said everything they wanted to. Rest in peace, Caitlin Todd.

THE END