Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran, but just you wait until Hatori Bisco goes mysteriously missing and leaves me everything in his will MUAHAHAHAHA *cough choke* I do own the OC though.

Summary: The host club have always thought Haruhi was naive, hardworking and studious, caring only about becoming a lawyer with no time for anything else. They are about to learn differently.

No lemon or anything, there isn't anything intimate at all really...

Not so innocent

There was half an hour before the Host Club opened for business. Tamaki was explaining one of his 'amazing' and 'ingenious' plans to the rest of the host members.

'To celebrate the end of the first semester of the new school year I think we should have a picnic in a commoner park I saw,' he went on to describe the beauty of the trees and how the birds all sang in his presence.

'If Haruhi's making the food-,' Hikaru grinned.

'-We'll come,' Kaoru continued, 'but only-,'

'-if you'll feed us,' they finished and leant in close to Haruhi's face.

'Get away from my daughter you devil duo form hell!' Tamaki shrieked and made to pull the twins off Haruhi's shoulders. He started the throttle them and tears of laughter were streaming down the twin's faces.

'Actually guys, I can't come,'

'Whaaaaat?' the three boys gasped then whined, 'whyyyy?'

'I'm busy,' she replied vaguely with a small shrug. She didn't particularly want arrogant1wse rich people such as the twins and Tamaki prying in her personal life, or Kyouya for that matter.

'Oh, with studying,' Kaoru nodded in understanding but shared look with his twin that said booooring!

'Nope,' Haruhi shook her head. She wasn't going to lie.

'Chores?' Hikaru guessed.

'Nu-uh,'

'You must be going to the commoner's food library!' Tamaki exclaimed looking highly pleased with himself.

'I think you mean supermarket and no, that's not what I doing.'

'Then... what are you doing?' Tamaki and the twins looked extremely confused as they tilted their heads to one side and a huge question mark appeared above their heads.

'Do you really think that's all I do?' Haruhi was amused by their rich bastard ignorance.

'What else could commoners possibly spend their time doing. Especially a studious commoner such as yourself,' Kyouya took a moment from typing endless data on his pineapple laptop to look at Haruhi and make sure everyone was ready for the club opening.

Ok, you're going a bit far with the commoner thing now, A vein in Haruhi's head threatened to pop.

'I'll have you know I have a life outside textbooks. I have a date so go to your picnic without me,' Haruhi snapped. Her short speech was followed by complete silence then,

'YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND?!' the twins yelled, Haruhi plus boyfriend did not compute in their minds.

'Daddy does not approve!' Tamaki pointed his finger and frowned seriously at Haruhi.

'Yes I have a boyfriend. Is it such a shock? Did you really think I was that innocent?' Haruhi then turned her attention to Tamaki who was still pointing dramatically, 'senpai, for the last time. You. Are. Not. My. Father. And you never will be. Second, I don't need your approval because frankly, I don't care what you think,' Tamaki gasped in pure horror and the twins decided to add to his moment of desolation.

'R-E-J-E-C-T-E-D,' they took it in turns to say each letter and each letter stabbed Tamaki in the back. He stumbled into his corner of despair then made a phone call.

Maybe Huni and Mori can talk some sense into Haruhi. Daddy does not like this!

While Tamaki was trying to work his phone, Haruhi was trying to blend into the wall so as to escape any more questions.

'So, Haruhi,'

Damn it!

'Uh... Yes Kyouya?'

'My research says you have turned down every boy who liked you because you were completely oblivious to their feelings,' Kyouya did NOT enjoy not understanding things and he did NOT understand how his research could be wrong.

'Oh I understood them alright. They were all just a bit too stupid for my liking, too stereotypical. Some of them deserved it anyway. One guy who asked me had only known me for five minutes,' Haruhi then muttered something about deserving soda in his eyes too.

'You're more evil than I thought,'

'You could say that but after the first ten straight 'no's' I gave. It got a little tedious. It would have hurt them just as much me telling them bluntly and plainly,' Haruhi shrugged then changed the subject, 'do we have any theme for today's hosting session?'

While this conversation was taking place, Tamaki had Huni on the phone and the twins were eavesdropping.

~.~.~.~

Huni and Mori were on their way to the Host Club when his phone went off and emitted his 'nom nom' ringtone by Parry Gripp (which had recently replaced the 'Do you like waffles?' song)

They were in the courtyard walking from the university building to the high school building, 'Hi, Huni-chan speaking!' Huni sang into his pink phone that was covered in bunny and cupcake stickers. If someone saw him with it and didn't know him they would probably think he stole it from his younger sister.

'Huni-senpai, you've got to talk to Haruhi urgently. She's got a boyfriend and Daddy does not like it!' Huni had to hold the phone at arm's length so as not to get permanently deafened. Huni tentatively held it back to his ear, fearing Tamaki rant had not reached its peak yet and there might be more to come.

'Er... Sorry to tell you Tama-chan. I already know,' Huni's comment sent Tamaki flying out of his eternal corner of depression in complete shock.

'Ohmigawd! Are you Haruhi's boyfriend?!'

'What? No!'

'Then... Mori-senpai?'

'No! I just heard her talking to him on the phone a couple of weeks ago,'

'Why didn't you tell me?' Tamaki shrieked, 'as her father I have a right to know these things. I need to get a restraining order for this boy so he can never go near my precious Haruhi again,' he was stopped when Haruhi whacked him over the back of the head in annoyance.

'Uh... Tono?' the twins started.

'Mitsukuni,' Mori rumbled.

'You can get of the phones now, you're standing right in front of each other,' the twins pointed out to finish.

'Oh god! Can I just leave now? Please? I swear I can't take this anymore,' Haruhi groaned into her hands.

'I'm afraid not. Your new debt for breaking that Faberge egg-,'

'You mean the one that conveniently appeared in the middle of the room, right behind me?'

'Yes, it's good to see you remember. You still have six million Yen to pay off so you better work hard.'

'Well, today, stuff it. I still have another year and a half to pay it off. Also if I am missing today then tomorrow there will be more guest because they are all worried. They'll probably jump to the conclusion that I have some life threatening illness if I understand their small fan-girl minds well enough.' A/N: No offense to any fan-girls out there! I'm a fan-girl too! :D)

'Hmm,' Kyouya's mind processed that information, 'of course, you may leave.'

'Whatever. I would've left anyway,' Haruhi pulled her cell phone from her pocket and sent a text. The twins tried to look at what she was writing but she used her spare hand to poke them in the eyes.

'Since when did you get so violent,' the twins whined.

'Gee, I wonder who I learnt from,' Haruhi glared at the twins then walked away, 'I'm going to go get changed. I said I would meet Otonashi an hour early,' with that she left for the changing rooms with her school bag.

'Otonashi? That must be his name,' Kaoru pondered.

'Y'think?' Hikaru snorted sarcastically.

'Why are you so mean to me? Don't... don't you love me?' Kaoru acted hurt.

'Of course, I'm sorry my dear brother,' Hikaru held his brother close and sprinkled glitter and flower petals around themselves to add effect.

'...' the rest of the hosts thought of commenting but didn't bother.

'Takashi? Doesn't that mean 'no sound'? It's your middle name too,' Huni had put down his phone and clambered onto his cousin's shoulders. He was using Mori's hair to hold on, even if it did hurt, Mori said nothing. He nodded to Huni's question. Tamaki and the twins were all muttering to themselves then Kyouya caught their attention with a conspicuous cough.

'If any of you are interested, I tracked the phone call Haruhi made to a park nearby. Haruhi made the point that if we go missing for a day we will gain a lot more customers tomorrow,' Kyouya smiled the signature Otori smile.

'It's not nice to spy on people, I didn't like doing it that time with Hika-,' Huni was stopped by Mori's hand.

'What was that about spying on me?' Hikaru eyed everyone suspiciously. They were about to make up some excuse but then Haruhi emerged from the changing rooms, Dressed in a pale blue and white striped v-neck shirt with elbow length sleeves and a simple denim shorts as well as a pair of white flats. Her hair was pulled into a tiny ponytail. She looked pretty in a simple and natural kind of way by that wasn't what the boys were staring at.

'Ehm... Haruhi,' Kaoru started awkwardly, 'since when did you...'

Hikaru used a more direct approach, 'how the heck do you cover a freaking C-cup chest with a school blazer!? Since when did you look like that anyway?'

Haruhi gave him a look like when she caught Tamaki doing 'disgusting things' to a mannequin of her in a bikini, 'since last summer and I wear this,' Haruhi pulled a zip-up vest from her bag, 'it's uncomfortable but how else am I supposed to pay off my debt if they find out I'm a girl. Tamaki-senpai what the hell is wrong with you? Why do you have a nosebleed? You're getting blood all over the floor.'

Tamaki was losing blood rapidly from his nose and instead of replying a sort of strangled gurgle escaped his throat and he collapsed on the floor in a pool of his own blood.

'Ha ha, Tono's a big perv!' the twins laughed at the Host King still gurgling in his blood.

'Uh... you guys have nosebleeds too,' Haruhi pointed at the small trickles of blood that was sliding down their faces.

'Takashi, how could you!' Huni wailed, 'not you too Kyo-chan!'

As hard as the two other boys tried to remain emotionless they couldn't stop blood dripping onto the floor. Kyouya ignored it and continued writing but he couldn't write much because the page was dotted with drips of blood.

Crap! How could an Otori be so vulgar? It's shameful. What would father think?

...Haruhi... breasts... damn it. I've turned into a perv. I'm sorry Mitsukuni...

'Is the only dignified person in this room Huni-senpai?' Haruhi snorted in disgust, 'I'll leave you perverts here. Try not to destroy Huni's innocence.'

Haruhi left. Kyouya gained control of himself first and called the cleaners to come mop up the blood then dragged the unconscious Tamaki to a sofa. Huni did the same with the twins, leaving a very ashamed Mori standing motionless.

~.~.~.~

Tamaki groaned and sat up.

'Jeez Tono, it took you long enough to wake up,' the twins sighed, 'if you hurry up and clean the blood off your face we can still catch up with Haruhi.'

'If we take a car then my calculations say we will arrive at the park 0.6 minutes before Haruhi,' Kyouya looked up from his notebook, 'I've already called the chauffeur and because Huni-senpai refused to come that means we only need one car.' (Because Huni left that means Mori left also)

Tamaki rubbed is hand over his face. Some of the blood came off, the rest just smeared across his face, 'DONE!' he shrieked then ran for the limo. The twins followed. Kyouya refrained from hitting his head on the nearest wall at Tamaki's childish stupidity.

~.~.~.~

The ride to the park went smoothly, well, the driver gave them a few weird looks when Tamaki flew into the car with blood smeared across his face but kept he his mouth shut, or it would be his job's worth. When they arrived at their destination they were almost given away when three of the boys tried to work out how to use the swings in the playground. It had started out quite empty. There was an old couple sitting on a bench and they didn't seem to be doing anything, about five children playing on the grass or on the slide, two women, probably parents as well as a boy sitting on a bench with a sketchbook under his arm and another boy loitering around looking bored. They were probably older brothers forced to bring siblings out to the park.

Haruhi walked into view from behind some large rhododendron bushed, Kyouya had to pull the boys by the collars to get out of the way. They sat on a bench behind some more bushes and a flowerbed that housed some small purple flowers and a few large yellow lilies.

They watched Haruhi approach the boy who was sitting on a bench. He waved as she approached and smiled, she did the same in return. They couldn't hear what she was saying but she appeared to be apologising, probably for changing the time of their date so suddenly. He put his hands up to say he didn't mind and smiled again. She sat down on the bench next to him and she started talking to him.

'We can't hear anything,' the Hitachiins grumbled, 'can't we move closer?'

'I suppose,' Kyouya sighed, 'just don't get caught.'

They nodded and Tamaki, with the twins following closely behinds crept stealthily to some bushed closer to the bench Haruhi and Otonashi were sat on. Well, they were stealthy if you include tripping over your own feet and steeping on as many twigs as possibly stealthy. If they had managed to go unnoticed then pigs can fly.

This time Kyouya did not refrain from hitting his head on the nearest tree, 'if I lose IQ points because of this I'm adding the amount of points lost to Haruhi's debt, times ten thousand.'

Amazingly, neither Haruhi nor Otonashi seemed to notice.

'Was that a flying pig?!' Tamaki nearly yelled.

'Shut up Tono, Haruhi's talking about us,'

Indeed. Haruhi was telling him about the Host's Clubs reaction earlier. Otonashi was laughing, probably at Haruhi's annoyed expression ads much as the story.

'Why can't I hear him laughing?' Tamaki whispered.

'We can't either,' said the twins. They shrugged it off.

Otonashi picked up his sketchbook and wrote something down, it said,

Do you want to go to the cafe over there? He pointed at a small cafe nearby.

'Sure,' Haruhi smiled, they got up and walked towards the cafe.

'It seems this Otonashi boy is mute,' Kyouya appeared behind the other three. Tamaki screamed like a girl in fright.

'Don't scare me like that!' he wailed.

Did you hear something? Otonashi looked around. The twins had already tackled Tamaki to the floor and covered his mouth. Haruhi shrugged the grabbed his hand and directed them to a table. Tamaki peered over the bush again. He now had anime tears dripping down his face.

'S-she's holding his hand. S-she never holds d-daddy's hand,' he sobbed. The twins were staring at their intertwined hands as if they could stared hard enough to pull the hands away from each other with just their eyes. Kyouya questioned for the tenth time what he was doing in a commoner park with a bunch of pathetic idiots. He failed to come up with a logical answer, so he left.

'Come on Tono, let's get closer,'

'B-but there's nowhere to hide,' Tamaki was still had tears in the corners of his eyes and there was a bit of blood-coloured snot dangling out his nose.

The twins shared an evil look with each other then looked towards the cafe, 'do you know how to climb a tree?'

~.~.~.~

A few minutes later the twins and Tamaki were sitting proudly in a tree with a three year old 'I did it all by myself' look on their faces. Considering the tree wasn't much taller than them it wasn't that amazing.

Haruhi was standing up.

'Maybe she's dumping him,' Tamaki whispered happily then started to daydream.

Tamaki's inner mind theatre

'Oh daddy you were right,' Haruhi hugged him, 'that boy was no good. I'm sorry I didn't believe you.'

'I forgive you, my princess,' Tamaki lifted her chin up so she looked him in the eye. He leaned close.

'Tamaki...' Haruhi closed her eyes and whispered, blushing.

*beep*

We interrupt this Tamaki inner mind theatre to shatter his dream.

'No, no I'm fine,' Haruhi laughed. Otonashi was holding his sketchpad in front of his face. He had scrawled on it: Are you sure? I can get the coffee if you want. Haruhi continued to refuse his offer, 'I'm used to doing stuff like this. They use me like a slave at the host club all the time,' before her boyfriend could refuse anymore she left. Otonashi chuckled silently then turned the page of his book and continued drawing what looked to be a very good picture of Haruhi.

'Tono,' the twins whispered, 'there's a huge arrow in you back that says 'slave' on it. Doesn't it hurt?' Tamaki let out a whimper.

'Why does she like him more than me? Her own daddy...'

'Well, for one he's not annoying *stab* he can, where as you, not so much *stab* and I have to admit he's pretty hot, more than you in some ways *stab* and he seems more helpful and kind than you *stab* you make a mess of everything *stab*,' the twins shrugged, 'we hate to admit it but he's pretty awesome.'

Tamaki was on the verge of a mental breakdown by the Haruhi returned.

Otonashi held his sketchbook up Thanks for the coffee, he handed her some money, and if you collected it then it's only fair I pay. Oh and there are three guys sitting in a tree over there. Do you know them?

One simple, pure thought was going through all of Tamaki, Hikaru and Kaoru's minds, oh shit.

Haruhi didn't even turn to look, 'I'm sure I do,' then she did something none of the boys, including Otonashi himself, expected. She leant in and kissed him. Truthfully, Otonashi wasn't too bothered, more the opposite... unlike three other people who need no be named.

An ambulance arrived a few minutes later to collect a young man who had fainted and fallen out of a tree onto his head.

Ok, it's finished. *phew* hope you thought it was ok :) It's 1am so I'm sorry for any spelling errors and such but I'm too tired. If I'm not too damn lazy I'll fix them tomorrow XD I've also got a kitten gnawing on my arm at the moment so I am temporarily unable to type...