This is for quintissentiallyscorpion . An April Fool's fic was requested and this is what I envisioned. I hope you enjoy!
"Why's it in a baggie?" Toby wondered out loud as he grabbed the positive pregnancy test from Walter's hands to examine it.
"For sanitary reasons," Paige told him. "You're a doctor, you know how they work."
"Fair enough," Toby reasoned, tossing it back to Walter. "Congrats, daddy."
"This isn't funny, Paige." Walter did his best to maintain his composure. "It's April Fool's Day, I do not believe you're pregnant. Ha ha, joke's over."
"Well, it isn't a joke. I am pregnant, and it's yours." Paige crossed her arms and looked at him with a mixture of anger and hurt in her eyes.
Walter stammered, "I didn't mean to imply otherwise. Now that we're in a romantic relationship, I thought it was implied we were monogamous."
Happy laughed and clapped him on the back, "Nice save, jackass."
"And I'm surprised with you, Paige," Walter continued. "We all promised Sylvester no pranks this year. I expected more from you."
"Sly is with Megan for the day, he isn't here to save you, 197," Toby interjected, resting his elbow on Happy's shoulder. "Which would make that promise null and void in most cases but Happy told me the ban still stands. And being the wonderful boyfriend I am, I listened to her."
"Get off." Happy shook him off and glared at him that didn't quite have its intended effect as her eyes twinkled.
"Never," he uttered, wrapping her in a bear hug. "You're stuck with me."
Happy shook him off but continued to laugh, catching the smirk Paige bit back and shaking her head for the other woman to stop.
"Paige could have altered this." Walter's eyes narrowed as he examined the positive test. "There are chemicals that could result in a false positive."
"You think Paige could cook that up? Not a chance." Toby didn't even bother to hide his disbelief.
"Rude, Toby."
"What? Do you know how to create a false positive on a pregnancy test?" Toby countered.
"No," Paige relented. "But I don't have to, that's a real positive because I'm pregnant."
"I don't believe it." Walter was persistent about the pregnancy being a joke.
"Take note, Paige, Walter's EQ hasn't improved as much as you thought," Happy said. "You see how he's reacting to the news of bringing new life into this world?"
"This is no way to react to finding out you're going to be a dad," Toby added. "Support for your partner is what you should be going for, not doubt and calling her a liar."
"I will always support Paige. But in this instance she is not being truthful with me." Walter let out an exasperated sigh. "I am not calling her a liar, per say. I am merely stating that I believe this is all an elaborate April Fool's prank that is being taken too far. And I'm not buying it."
"You know what, let's settle this like grown-ups." Toby grabbed his jacket and hat before continuing. "What do you say I go out and get another test? Paige will take it as soon as I get back and then we'll all know if she is indeed pregnant or is just a genius at April Fool's pranking."
"He makes a good point, and you know I don't say that often." Happy jabbed Toby in the ribs and smiled, laughing when he caught her around the waist and pulled her to him.
"How will we know Paige doesn't alter it?" Walter asked, looking between the three of them as he spoke. "She could use any number of chemicals from here to alter another one."
Freeing herself from Toby's grasp but still leaning against him, Happy had an idea. "I'll stand guard while she takes it and will personally see to it that the test isn't altered with while you two idiots wait for the results."
"Fine," Walter agreed. "But make it quick. Get the test, Toby. I want this dealt with."
"Aye, aye, boss." Toby tipped his hat to Walter and the ladies before setting it on his head. With a backward glance, he was out the door.
It was a tense and quiet ten minutes as they waited for Toby to return with the second pregnancy test. When he got back, Paige and Happy went upstairs while he waited with Walter.
Walter silenced the shrink from the string of snide comments he was desperate to make. Brooding in their own thoughts, the minutes passed slowly as they waited for Paige and Happy to come back.
"It's positive again," Happy announced as she held up the second pregnancy test, also in a baggie. "I am vouching for Paige when I say this test was not altered with and is indeed true."
She tossed it to Toby and he confirmed. "As a doctor, I can state that Happy is telling the truth. This is a positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hands. You're going to be a father, Walter."
As the blood drained from Walter's face, Paige couldn't keep it together any longer. Doubling over in a fit of laughter, she managed to set the record straight. "I'm sorry, I can't keep this up any longer. I am not pregnant, Walter."
"You're not?" That question was asked by both Walter and Toby.
"No, sweetie, I'm not." She cupped Walter's face with her hands and smiled. "If I were, I'd tell you in private."
"But then how did you alter this test?" Toby wanted to know. "How did you alter two tests, Paige?"
"Oh no, those tests weren't altered," Paige told them. "They're real."
"But." Both men had similar looks of confusion on their faces.
"I'm not the one who's pregnant, Toby. This whole idea was Happy's."
Taking the test from his hands, Happy smirked. "Test is mine, doc. And it's yours, if you're wondering."
Now it was Toby's turn to blanch. "Happy April Fool's?"
"Nope, it's true. About seven weeks now." Happy's eyes widened as she took in his expression. There was a touch of fear and hesitation about how Toby would react.
"You're pregnant." The words rolled off Toby's tongue, half question and half statement. Happy nodded, her posture tense as she bit her lip. "Please say something."
"We're having a baby," he exclaimed, his arms up in excitement before wrapping around Happy and spinning her around. "This is the best news ever."
"So," Paige said as she put her arm around Walter's shoulders, "Are you looking forward to being an uncle?"
"Yes," he told her, letting out a long breath he didn't realize he was holding. "Toby is taking this news very well, much better than I did."
Paige gave him the side eye, "His EQ is much higher than yours." When Walter went to contest, Paige cut him off. "But I don't care, I knew who you were long before we started this. I wouldn't change you."
Walter smiled at the sight of Toby fussing over Happy. He looked at Paige, "I'm sorry for my reaction."
She grinned. "Don't be. Happy bet me you'd react differently so I won. All is well."