Volstagg honestly didn't know why he had come here. He stood by the entrance to a cave located by the foot of a mountain. The air felt damp and cold, and the inside of the cave seemed even less inviting. In his hands Volstagg held a tray with food; bread, cheese, some fruit and a water skin with wine in it.
He stood there indecisive for a time, not knowing whether he should go back or enter the cave or not. In the end Volstagg sighed and turned around.
Three days later Volstagg returned, again with a tray with food and something to drink. It could be his imagination, but the cave looked even less inviting the second time. Before he had time to think it through, or rather have time to get cold feet, he took a deep breath and entered.
The air inside the cave was not only just as cold and damp as it was outside, but it also smelled like something had crawled inside and died. The cave was sparsely lit with torches alongside the walls. Just before the cave would become blindingly dark, there would be another torch up ahead, guiding him.
Just before Volstagg thought the cave would go on forever, he reached the end of it, which was lit with two torches. A man was chained to the wall. The man's black hair was greasy, and fell down his face in tangles, his naked skin was sickly pale and looked paper thin, but his eyes looked clear and sharp as ever. The chains didn't allow him to either stand up or lie down completely, forcing him to sit uncomfortably. He glared challengingly at Volstagg, undoubtedly knowing he was coming since his steps first echoed through the cave. His whole body was tense.
"Loki."
"Why have you come here, Volstagg?" Loki said his name with a sneer.
For a moment Volstagg didn't know what to say. He didn't know what he had expected. It had only been ten days since Loki's sentence, and he already looked worse for wear.
"Did Thor send you? Is he too cowardly to come by himself?" Loki seemed to become more and more agitated for each word he said.
"NO! No... I, er, I came on my own accord" Volstagg stood awkwardly, shifting weight between his legs.
Loki's expression told him that he didn't believe it, glaring at Volstagg as if accusing him.
"Honestly, I did"
Loki still didn't look convinced, but he calmed down, for now. Still tense. Though he still looked Volstagg in the eyes with defiance. Volstagg doubted that anyone could ever break or truly defeat Loki, but he didn't say it out loud.
"I brought you some food" Volstagg said, simply of the lack of not knowing what else to say.
Volstagg was in the middle of putting the tray down in front of the other, when Loki said; "You didn't answer my question."
"Huh?"
Loki huffed before elaborating. "Why are you here?"
Volstagg began pouring wine from the water skin into a cup he had taken with him. "Well, I came here to share a meal with you"
"Don't play games with me!" Loki snapped. Loki was suddenly on edge, body more tense than before and his breath heaved rapidly. "Are you here to mock? To humiliate me further?"
In shock Volstagg had accidentally poured some of the wine over the food and the floor.
"No, no! None of that no, please believe me"
"Then why?" In his outburst, Loki had tried to stand up as much of he could, and he now stood in an awkward position.
"Well, I-I just..." Volstagg took a deep breath, steadying himself. "I honestly don't know."
"What? You had nothing better to do, so you thought you could come down here?"
"I'm just confused, Loki"
"You're just confused?" Loki laughed hollowly. "Well, there's a surprise."
"I'm simply confused Loki! You were here, fighting alongside us, being our friend, and the next I know is that you've betrayed us!" While standing up to his full height, Volstagg talked louder and louder, until he was shouting at Loki.
"I was never your friend." Loki broke eye-contact, looking at no particular spot on the floor.
"But-"
"Leave"
"But, Loki-"
"Just leave!" Loki looked at Volstagg again, but this time with burning hatred.
Volstagg sighed deeply before replying "Alright, as you wish." He turned around as to leave. "I'll leave the food here, I just thought.. Well, I thought you might be hungry."
And with that, Volstagg left with a heavy heart.
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.
"So, you've decided to come back" Loki said, when Volstagg returned with yet another tray of food. To Volstagg's surprise Loki didn't sneer this time, though he did look at him with suspicion.
"Well, yes. I thought you could use the company." It wasn't a complete lie, it had been two days since he'd last visited him, and he knew for a fact that nobody visited Loki.
He quickly noted that the food and wine from last time was gone.
"I've brought some blankets this time, it was rather cold last I was here" Volstagg said awkwardly.
"What do Sif and the rest of the warriors have to say about your little excursions down here?" Loki asked with a raised eyebrow, there was a hidden accusation underneath his question.
"They don't know actually, no one does… Well, maybe except for Heimdall." Volstagg said while he was placing the new tray down in front of Loki and handed over the blankets to Loki.
"Oh?" The corner of Loki's mouth tugged upwards, if only slightly. "Volstagg the Voluminous is actually able to keep a secret from the Warriors Three? For so long I've thought your three shared anything together." He teased while wrapping the blankets around his lithe body as much as the chains would allow him.
Volstagg didn't dignify that with an answer.
"Tell me, now that we don't have to pretend to be friends anymore; do you and the warriors three share a bed?"
"Share a be- Loki!"
Loki laughed coyly "My apologies, I was simply curious, I didn't mean to offend you"
"Hmmph, of course you didn't." Volstagg said with a huff, as he sat down in front of Loki, so they were at the same eye level.
All traces of humor suddenly disappeared from Loki's features, and he looked suspicious once again. "Why have you come here again? What do you gain from it?"
"I assure you, Loki, I'm not here to gain anything"
"If you're here out of pity, then you can just go ahead and-"
"That's not the reason I'm here!" Volstagg said quickly, as he held his hands up in front of him defensively. "I think that you deserve this punishment"
At this Loki scowled at Volstagg, which made the big man cringe mentally.
"Please don't be offended! I just thought that you… uhh…" Volstagg looked everywhere else than in Loki's direction as he scratched the back of his neck, scrambling for words. "Please, eat!" He said maybe a bit too quickly, gesturing at the tray with food. "I've always thought you were too skinny, hehe. Personally I find people with a little bit of fat more attractive" he said with an awkward smile as he patted his well-rounded belly.
Loki gave Volstagg a judgmental look, before he reached for some bread and cheese.
They sat like that across each other in silence as Loki ate, not making eye contact with each other. Volstagg fumbled with his thumbs, trying to find a conversation topic. He soon found that it was more difficult to find something to talk about since the subjects they had in common probably shouldn't be mentioned, at all. In the end Volstagg settled for a safe topic.
"It may not mean much to you, but there is good news!" Loki looked up at Volstagg. "My wife, Gunnhilde, is pregnant again!" Volstagg couldn't be certain, but he thought he saw Loki smile slightly, before he directed his attention towards his food again. "I cannot wait to find out whether it's a boy or a girl. My other children can't wait either, especially my youngest, since she wouldn't be… well, the youngest anymore."
While Volstagg talked about his family, Loki ate the rest of his food. After he was done he listened to Volstagg as he went on. Loki didn't look particularly interested, but he didn't look bored either.
When Volstagg exhausted the topic he simply rubbed his belly and said "Yes, well, I should probably be headed back home now, before Gunnhilde becomes worried."
Loki nodded.
Volstagg stood up and took the two empty trays. As he was about to leave he faced Loki a last time. "Loki, do you want me to get you anything next time I visit?"
Loki scrutinized Volstagg as he answered "Will you be returning?" He sounded suspicious, if not wary.
"If you don't mind"
Loki looked at Volstagg, as if analyzing him for something. When it appeared he couldn't find anything he said "A pillow would be nice"
Volstagg nodded and left.
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The very next day Volstagg visited Loki, again with a tray with food and a gift.
"I've brought you a pillow!" Volstagg announced with a booming voice when he approached Loki.
Loki looked up and answered dryly; "Indeed you have."
"And I've brought you something else too; chicken to go along with your meal today"
"How delightful" Loki straightened his back as Volstagg put the tray down in front of him and handed over the pillow. "So" Loki said with a raised eyebrow.
"So?" Volstagg had already sat down.
"Does this mean that your visits are going to occur daily? Or has your wife become boring in bed after she had conceived?"
"I visit when I have the time" Volstagg replied, ignoring the last comment.
Loki didn't say anything further as he began to eat his meal. Once again they sat in silence. Once again Volstagg fumbled with his thumbs, but not because he was searching for a topic to talk about, but to find the courage to bring a particular one up.
Halfway through the meal, Volstagg spoke up "Thor misses you."
Loki immediately stopped eating and looked at Volstagg with a warning glare. Volstagg waited for an answer, but when he realized he wouldn't get one he continued; "Asgard has become a glum place after your sentence." Loki blinked once. "No, that's not true. It became glum long before your sentence, when you first fell into the void."
Loki scoffed, but otherwise he didn't say anything.
After another moment of silence Volstagg spoke again "We all missed you greatly."
"Not another word" Loki said with a low growl, his nostril flaring angrily.
"Loki, please"
"We were never friends!" Every word was said with a growl, dangerously low, Loki became more agitated with every word. "How dare you. None of you cared for me"
"That's not true"
"Leave."
"If you don't believe that we all missed you, then please believe that Thor and your mother did!"
"Leave!"
Volstagg quickly stood on his knees, taking Loki's shoulders in his hands, shaking him slightly. "Please believe me, Loki, you were just as much my friend as Sif and the other warriors were!"
Loki pushed Volstagg back with a snarl. Volstagg fell with an undignified *thump* on his behind, surprised by Loki's strength despite his appearance.
"It's true, Loki, I never considered you anything less"
"That's not how I see it."
Volstagg sighed and sat up properly before replying. "It is true that I didn't talk much to you or made jests with you as much as I did with the others, but…" Volstagg scratched the back of his neck trying to find the right words. "You always kept to yourself, and I never really understood you, I didn't know how to behave around you, I still don't, but you were my friend nevertheless, a comrade in arms!"
Loki stared at him with that scrutinizing look, as if Volstagg was something to be analyzed. Loki was still agitated, and looked like he could attack at any moment, though the chains wouldn't allow it. "What about now? Do you still consider me your 'friend'" Loki said the last word with an angry huff.
"I-I don't know Loki. So much has happened since then" Volstagg couldn't make himself look Loki in the eyes as he answered sheepishly.
"I see." Loki answered, clearly not satisfied with his response.
"But I would like to be friends with you once again" Loki calmed down slightly, but didn't look convinced. "I would!" Volstagg enforced.
"I doubt it." Loki said flatly, implying that he refused Volstagg's offer.
"I mean it. Though I doubt we would become friends again right away, since I don't trust you as much anymore, but I would like to have you around again, and so would the others, I'm sure"
"You're naïve to think the others could forgive me so easily."
"Of course they would, they would just need a bit of convincing! If the Allfather ever chooses to end your punishment, I'll spend all our days drinking and eating with you! What do you say?"
"Don't get your hopes up."
"Well, please think about it"
"I think I'm getting tired"
Volstagg sighed defeated "Then I will leave you to rest"
With a nod of goodbye, Volstagg stood up and began to leave.
"Will you visit again? I need feeding after all" Loki said as nonchalant as possible.
Volstagg chuckled and answered with a smile "Of course I will, what did you expect?"
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"It seems your visits really are becoming daily occurrences" Loki said when Volstagg appeared with another tray of food.
Volstagg put the tray down in front of Loki. "Well, I don't want you to go hungry" Volstagg said to which Loki smiled.
"Thank you, Volstagg" Loki said as Volstagg sat down. The big man looked surprised at him.
"You're…. welcome" he replied and a huge smile formed across his face. "I have to admit" he laughed "I never expected to ever hear those words from you!"
"Why not?" Loki's smile suddenly went from genuine to smug "The food really gives me my strength back" he said as he began eating.
Now that he mentioned it, Volstagg noticed that Loki looked considerably better than the first time he visited. Loki was still pale but not as sickly as before, and he had taken his time looking presentable with combing his hair back with his fingers and draping the blankets around him as elegantly as it was possible. Volstagg didn't say anything as he really looked at Loki. Even though he was chained to a wall in a cave, wearing nothing but blankets, he still managed to look regal.
It must be his pride and the way Loki straightened his back, Volstagg concluded.
Volstagg cleared his throat before talking again "About my offer yesterday" at that Loki's smile disappeared and he stopped eating "I stand by what I said, even if I haven't completely forgiven you yet"
"I don't need forgiveness" Loki scoffed "I have done nothing wrong." Loki glared at Volstagg as if challenging him.
Volstagg was appalled for a moment, before he found his words. "You tried to have the Destroyer kill us!"
"You betrayed me, your rightful king" Loki lost his composure as he spat out the words, his face distorted into a snarl.
"Are you really this deluded, Loki? Or is this who you really are? This power-crazed 'thing' you've become."
"What if I am?" Loki's expression had suddenly changed from a snarl to one of impassiveness. He straightened his back and even though he wasn't taller than Volstagg, he still managed to look down on him. "Would you still eat and drink with me, if Odin chose to end my punishment?"
For a moment Volstagg didn't know what to answer, didn't have an answer. Loki stared expectantly at him with that impassive expression of his, while Volstagg struggled to find an answer.
"How have you become like this? What happened in the void to make you this-" Volstagg didn't finish his question as he gestured at Loki with a notion of his hand.
"Oh" Loki laughed completely devoid of humor. "The void didn't do this to me, all of this happened long before that."
"What do you mean?"
"All these years have I stood in the shadow. It didn't matter how intelligent or capable I was. Always was I overshadowed by Thor, simply because he could boast about it louder than I did. Well, I'm certainly never going to be ignored or considered inferior now."
"Is that why you betrayed us? Because you didn't receive the recognition you think you deserved?"
Loki sighed before replying "No, that's not the reason."
"Then, what is?"
"You didn't answer my question, Volstagg. Would you still feast and drink with me?"
Volstagg looked Loki in the eyes. He made up his mind and answered resolutely; "I would."
At that reply Loki narrowed his eyes "Why?" he asked with suspicion.
Volstagg broke eye-contact and stroked his beard as he replied; "I'm still confused about what happened and why, but I do know one thing," Volstagg looked at Loki again, this time without wavering, "you must have had a good reason for what you did, even if you don't have the courage to tell me."
Loki didn't answer. His eyes were still narrowed, and he looked at Volstagg as if searching for a lie. When he didn't find any, his features softened. "I see."
Volstagg nodded once, whether it was to acknowledge Loki's answer or if it was to confirm to himself that he was telling the truth, he didn't know. "Well, I think I'll retire for today" Volstagg stood up and stretched his arms. "So, goodbye, Loki." Volstagg said awkwardly as he turned around.
"Volstagg? Thank you… for everything." Loki said as Volstagg walked away, which surprised him once again. When the big man didn't know what to say, he simply nodded at left.
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When Volstagg arrived the next day with a tray of food, Loki was gone. After examining the chains, Volstagg concluded that they were opened with force rather than with a key. The blankets that Volstagg gave Loki days ago were folded neatly with the pillow on top, and the tray from his last was put beside it.
Volstagg sighed deeply before collecting the stuff that Loki had left behind and began walking out of the cave. When Volstagg was outside again he took a good look of the surroundings. He didn't know what he was expecting, but everything looked like what it always had.
"What are you going to do now," Volstagg asked. "We're just going to find out, aren't we?"