Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever own Naruto or anything affiliated with said show.

"Speaking"

'Thoughts'

Beware, Ramen Fried My Brain

Naruto sat at the counter in the Ichiraku ramen shop, staring at the menu with drool hanging off of the corner of his mouth. He had just made a deal with Sasuke, and he was currently making a list so he knew which type of ramen he was going to order first. After he finished his end of the bargain that is.

Flashback

"Hey Naruto." Sasuke said as he poked the blonde in the shoulder to wake him up.

Blinking, Naruto glared at Sasuke and tried to lie back down to continue his nap. Suddenly, his head was yanked back up and he found himself once again staring into the eyes of his 'friend'. Although this time, he looked ready to kill. "Eh heh heh." Naruto said sheepishly as he scratched the back of his head.

Still glaring at the blonde, Sasuke started again. "Naruto, I'd like you to do me a favor." He said, mumbling the last part.

Naruto stared at Sasuke confusedly before his statement sank in. "WHAT?!" Then he began to grin smugly. "I knew it. I knew that you weren't perfect." Sasuke just continued to glare. "So what do you need me to do?" Naruto asked. "I can train you, or give you dating advice, or even fashion advice. So what is it? What do you need me to do for you?"

Sasuke's eyebrow began twitching. 'He thinks I need him to train me?' He thought to himself. 'How delusional can he get? And what the hell was that about fashion advice, there's nothing wrong with my clothes.' Tapping his fingers on the counter, he tried to calm down. "I'd like you to come up with a way to get my fan club to leave me alone. I've tired everything I can think of, but they just won't go away."

Cocking his head to the side, Naruto frowned. "That's it? That's all you want me to do. Just convince the girls to leave you alone?"

Nodding, Sasuke continued. "I don't care how you do it; just get them off my back. You can even tell them I'm already going out with some unnamed girl from another village. I'll leave the details up to you." Seeing Naruto hesitate, he added in compensation. "If you do, I'll treat you to ramen twice a week for a month."

Naruto got stars in his eyes and began to drool. "Ramen!" As quickly as it came, the look was gone and in its place was a more serious one. "I'll do it." He said with a nod of his head. "You can count on me."

"I'll leave everything to you then. Deal?" Sasuke asked as he put out his hand.

"Deal." Naruto said, shaking the hand before him.

End Flashback

Now, Naruto was going to do just like Sasuke asked and get the girls to leave him alone. However, he saw no harm in making a few deals on the side. 'Besides' He thought. 'I'd starve if I only had ramen twice a week.'

The next day at class, Naruto put his plan into action. "Hey Ino, Sakura." He said waving the pair over. "I've got a deal to make with you guys."

Sakura eyed him suspiciously. "What do you want Naruto?" Ino just stood there impatiently, waiting to hear this so called deal so she could go see Sasuke.

"Well…" Both girls glared at him to hurry up. "What if I told you that Sasuke likes someone and I know who it is?"

Upon hearing his statement, the girls both got hearts in their eyes and began arguing over who it could be. "It has to be me." Ino said smugly. "Why would Sasuke want to go out with someone who has such a big forehead?"

"Shut up Ino-pig. Sasuke likes me more than he'll ever like you." Sakura said, as flames seemed to erupt behind her.

Knowing where this was headed, Naruto stepped between the two girls. "I'll tell you who he likes, but you each have to buy me ramen two times a week for a whole mon-."

"Deal!" They both said before he even finished his sentence.

"Okay." Naruto began. "But you have to promise not to freak out on me since it's not who you'd expect." They both nodded their heads quickly so he'd continue. "Well…" He said, dragging it out. "He likes…" Naruto's brain froze. 'Who was I going to say again?' He thought to himself. 'Dang, I can't remember. Okay Naruto, think. I'm sure you can come up with something.' Naruto glanced around the room for someone else he could use and came up empty. 'Crap what am I going to do?' He thought to himself. 'If I don't say something soon I'll lose all that tasty ramen.' Suddenly, he heard a noise and turned to look outside. "He likes Gaara!" Naruto blurted out before he could stop himself.

"WHAT? SASUKE LIKES GAARA?!" Sakura and Ino both shouted, before they promptly fainted.

"Whoops." Naruto said, as he watched the girls twitching around on the floor. Suddenly, the air around him got very cold. Turning around, he came face to face with a very pissed off Uchiha. Naruto waved his hands in front of his body in a sign of surrender. "Now Sasuke, I was only doing what you asked." Seeing his eyes narrow even further, Naruto tried again. "Look at it this way; they won't be bothering you anymore." The glare only intensified, and now Naruto was starting to get very worried. "Hey, give me a break. I didn't mean to say it, it just kinda popped out." Obviously that didn't matter, since the murderous look he was receiving seemed to only get darker. Naruto gulped, and started to slowly inch away from the furious boy.

"Now, you die Naruto." Sasuke growled out, as he stalked closer to him. In a flash, Naruto took off out the door screaming for someone to save him, with Sasuke hot on his heels yelling death threats. As Naruto was running out the main doors of the academy, he accidentally knocked over Gaara. Gaara glared at him, but Naruto was far too busy dealing with Sasuke to worry about him.

Gaara continued to glare at Naruto as he ran down a side alley. Finally, he turned away and headed towards the main entrance again. But once again, he was run over. Only this time it was by his rival Sasuke, and somehow both of them ended up on the ground in a tangled heap.

Just about that time, Ino and Sakura had woken up from their little cat naps and were currently pushing past the crowd in front of the window so they could see what all the commotion was. "OH! MY! GOD!" They screamed at the same time. There, right outside the window, lay their Sasuke. Not only that, but he was laying there with Gaara. The two girls looked at each other in shock, and the same thought went through both of their heads before they met the ground for the second time that day. 'NARUTO WAS RIGHT!?'