Title: admission

Author: Lauren

Rating: G

Spoilers: Vague ones for the entire show.

Summary: Jesse reflects on his relationship with Michelle. AKA a sapfest.

Author's notes: My first – and probably only Full House fic. I just heart the Jesse/Michelle scenes and this is my homage to them.

Disclaimer: The characters within do not belong to me.

---

It wasn't supposed to be for long. Danny had approached him at the luncheon following Pam's funeral, looking sullen.

"Jess," he had greeted, pulling his brother-in-law into an embrace. Jesse remembers tensing before returning the hug stiffly, pulling back as soon as he was able.

"Danny, hey."

"I have a huge favor to ask you," the older man sighed, glancing over his shoulder. Stephanie and DJ sat together on the couch, Pam's mother beside them. "My mom's staying with us… for a while, but she can't stay for long. I already asked Joey – an old high school friend, maybe you remember him…"

"Daniel, get to the point."

"Right, sorry. I asked Joey to move in with me to help with the girls and I was wondering if you wouldn't mind doing so as well.

"Move in… here?" Jesse had tried not to sound too disgusted at the thought.

"Yeah. It would be a great help…"

"Let me think about it, yeah?"

"All right," Danny had nodded and reached to embrace him again. Jesse shied away and turned.

Walking outside he found Claire, Danny's mother with his youngest niece.

"Jesse, do you mind?" It must be favor hour, he remembers reflecting as she'd pawned the infant on him. He'd taken her awkwardly, before unbidden, the memory of his sister positioning DJ in his arms ten years before came to the forefront.

He was glad Claire had already turned away and missed the misty glint that his eyes took.

"Hey, munchkin. He had touched a tentative finger to her soft hair, leaning in to meet her gaze dead on. She blinked up at him, the trust and innocence of those blue eyes making his heart flip. "You want me to move in here and help take care of you? I refuse diaper duty though, that's your dad's department."

Michelle had simply blinked again, making a small sound somewhere between gurgle and squeal.

"I'll take that as a yes," he had said, smiling in spite of himself.

It's not that she's his favorite. He loves Stephanie and DJ deeply, unconditionally. But Jesse has always been drawn to Michelle.

One of his first nights living with the Tanner's, he'd awoken to hear muffled sobbing. Concerned, he'd been halfway to the door when he'd realized that it was male. Danny. Unbidden, his own grief had resurfaced; blurring the already dim room and making him shake.

Jesse had slipped out into the hallway, walking to the nursery. By the soft glow of the nightlight, he'd gone to the crib and lifted Michelle out. He pulled her close, pressing his wet face to her fuz of blonde hair and cried himself.

Talking to her was easy from a young age. At first it was because she couldn't talk back, but then it was because she did. Her opinions were naive but heartfelt and every conversation ended with an 'I love you.'

"Uncle Jesse," she had said one afternoon as he'd picked her up from preschool. "Today was not good."

"Why not, Shorty? Do I need to go kick some kid's as – art project?"

"No," she had replied shortly.

"Then what happened?"

"We made mother's day cards," she said gravely. She pulled a decorated piece of construction paper from her bag, thrusting it in his face. "But I don't know who to give mine too. How come I don't have a mommy, Uncle Jesse? Is she lost?"

The subject of Pam, though not taboo, was not brought up often. Pictures of her were still around the house and they often watched home movies, especially around her birthday. But Jesse knew that Michelle had been, and still was to an extent, too young to comprehend the absence of her mother. All she knew was that she wasn't here.

"Munchkin," he said softly, bending down to meet her eye-to-eye. "You do have a mother and she loves you very much. She's just not here right now."

Tears had flooded those beautiful blue eyes of hers, but she did not look away. Crying was not something they did often together, but it was not avoided either. "I want her to be," she whispered, a tear splashing down the side of her face.

Jesse scooped her up, brushing the wetness from her skin. "Me, too, kid."

He has never been big on pet names, but with Michelle they just seem to fit. Munchkin, shorty, they just slip out without thinking. Their closeness was something Jesse hopes will only strengthen as Michelle grows older. Because somehow he's grown to depend on her, on those blue eyes that say, no matter what the situation, that everything will be all right.

That, he knows, is what has kept him here for eight years. He has always held his family dear, but from a distance. His nieces were girls he saw on birthdays or whenever he was in town, pretty girls who giggled and played and called him "uncle." It was a weird title, but something he liked.

Michelle had been a mystery to him. She was a baby, – clearly having no personality - who cried too much. At least, that was the impression he had from his few visits. He'd kiss her and squeeze her and talk in a way that would make her giggle. But Steph and DJ were his main focus.

Moving in, suddenly he was forced to spend time with her, take care of her. Along with Joey the moron, who somewhere along the line became like a brother, who was just as clueless in caring for a baby. But Michelle didn't care, always trusting without prompting.

Maybe that's what drew Jesse to her, that instant acceptance. It didn't matter that he hadn't gone to college, hell, hadn't even graduated. All she knew was that he was her uncle and he loved her. And that was enough.

"Uncle Jesse," she says to him one night. It is after the boys are asleep and Becky is helping Stephanie with math. They are sitting on the couch, just the two of them. She has somehow ended up in his lap, even though they both agree she's getting too old.

"Yeah?" He looks away from the TV.

"I love you"

He smiles, pulling her closer and kissing her forehead. "Really, I had no idea."

She smiles back, snuggling against him. "Silly. I just wanted to say it."

"You can say that all the time, Munchkin." He turns back to the TV, Michelle's hair brushing his cheek.

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

"And what would that be?"

"Well, don't you love me?" She blinks indignantly up at him.

"Of course I do."

"Then say so!" Her outrage is making it very hard not to smile.

"I love you, Michelle." He looks at her as solemnly as he is able.

"Thank you."

When she falls asleep a few minutes later, leaning against his chest, he stays seated for a long time. But he does not once look back at the television.