My fic for yayme2012's challenge.

BANANAS!!!!: BxExBanana. JacobxOC. Bella and Edward have gotten married and Bella's been turned. Suddenly the unthinkable happens. . . . . Edward is changed from a vampire to a Banana! See what happens.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Although I would love to just borrow Edward.

Edward and Bella Cullen lay on the couch in their room. As they laid there Bella was stroking Edward (not like that! Get our mind outta the gutter!). You see just days following their marriage Edward was somehow turned from a vampire into a banana (hereby referred to as Ed-nana). No one was quite sure how, although Alice thinks it has to do with the witch doctors on the island they honeymooned on (and no one's betting against Alice). Bella chose to stay married Ed-nana and they were unloving happily ever after. One day she burst into their room screaming.

"ED-NANA!" she cried

"What is wrong, my precious Bella?" asked Ed-nana (yes Ed-nana can talk)

"I'm PREGNANT!"

"I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screeched Alice popping out of nowhere. "You're the first pregger vampire, EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And you're not just having one baby you're having TRIPLETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yaay! More Vampires to shop for!"

13 months later (what you thought it would be only 9 months? She a VAMPIRE having children with a BANANA!) Bella gave birth to three. . . . children. Penelope was full vampire, Romeo was full banana ("Awwwww! He takes after his father in looks!" said Emmett.), and Sam was part vampire part banana. No one was sure of Sam was a boy or girl so they called it Sam. They grew up normally for 16 years , or as normally as you can get for having a banana for a father and brother and a vampire for a mother and sister, until the day the Sam met Jacob Black.

Jacob was 32 years old and still hadn't imprinted on anyone. He was the only wolf in the pack that didn't have a mate. One day Sam was walking around the treaty line when Jacob smelled her.

"What do you think you're doing around here bloodsucker?" he asked looking at her. The moment his black eyes met her yellow one he knew that she was his mate.

Sam just stared at Jake with her one eye. Her mind was swimming. She smelled the most amazing scent of her life. The two talked for a long time before Sam left for the Cullen house. When hse arrived home she told her mother.

"MOM! I found my singer!" she said .

"That's nice. Who is it?" asked Bella looking at Ed-nana.

"JACOB BLACK!"

Ed-nana roared at this and went on a wolf killing spree. Once all the La Push wolves were dead and he told Sam about it she went to Volterra and Aro killed her for being part vampire and part banana.

Wow. I hope you liked it and VOTE FOR ME!