Title: For Her Sake
Author: StarrySkies
Rating: T
Pairing: Lindsay/Hawkes
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended.
Summary: For the life of him, he can't figure her out, and he starts to wonder how good he really is at his job.
A/N: Set during "Open And Shut."
"Oh good Lord!"
She enters the room in a huff, a hint of her accent lacing her frustration. When she rushes past him, he catches his notes before they float away on the gust of wind she's stirred up.
"I see you've discovered the wrath of Stella," is all he says and returns to the evidence he's examining.
"Oh, there's a name for it?" She exhales loudly, and Hawkes glances to see that his papers are safe.
"Well, not an official one." He cuts his eyes at her over the rims of his reading glasses; she manages a half-smile. He'll settle for that for now.
"How do we tell her that we're beginning to like Grace for both of these murders? You know, without--" She turns her hands as she searches for the right words, coming up empty.
"Having our asses handed to us?"
"I'd prefer to avoid that at all costs, yes." Lindsay plants her hands on the table beside him and nods emphatically.
Hawkes suppresses an urge to laugh at how adorable she looks when she's nervous.
"Simple: We don't."
"We... don't?" How that's supposed to help them, she isn't sure.
"We don't." She starts to object, but he cuts her off. "We keep processing and let her figure it out when there's nothing left to question."
"But she's wasting her time, Hawkes."
"She's not."
"Blunt came to apologize. He didn't come with intent to kill!" Her voice sounds like she's losing patience with him too.
"I know that. And I know you know that. But she needs to keep thinking Grace is innocent."
"What? Why?"
He tilts his head at her and pauses before he speaks. "Because she's still trying to prove herself innocent."
She lowers her eyes to the floor and remembers. Now she gets it. And it baffles her for a moment that she hadn't picked up on it sooner. "She wants to know she was right for saving herself."
He nods in her direction. "She's looking for someone to identify with. And right now, this is all she's got. And maybe it's best if we pretend too."
She leans in toward him and bumps his arm with her own. "Why do you have to be so smart?"
He smiles and shrugs before Lindsay scans the room and then leans on him, her cheek resting on his shoulder. Her hair smells of peaches and cream, making him think of summertime when he was a kid.
Hawkes glances down and notices the look on Lindsay's face become more solemn. He shouldn't have reminded her. And he isn't sure why, but she always reacts this way whenever anyone talks about what happened to Stella. He has his theories, but nothing really concrete. For the life of him, he can't figure her out, and he starts to wonder how good he really is at his job.
"Hey." His voice is hushed and private, the way it is when they're in his apartment alone.
She doesn't move but responds, "Hmm?"
"Don't take it so hard." He reaches up and delicately traces her jaw line with his thumb. It's all he can really do right now, though it's not usually him who cares where they are.
She takes in a deep breath and sighs when he moves his hand away more quickly than she would've wanted if they were outside of the lab.
"Sure." Lindsay smiles softly, hurt gathered in the corners of her mouth. And she stands up straight, scanning the room again when she smoothes her hair back in place with her hands. "I should get back to work," she says and lingers for a moment before taking her first step.
"You okay?"
She nods and he doesn't believe her.
"Hey," he calls when she nears the door.
She spins around slowly with her hands in her pockets. "Hmm?"
"You tell her I named it, and I'll deny it."
A smile, maybe the beginnings of a laugh, sweeps across her face. "Your secret's safe with me."
He watches her walk down the hallway, her eyes focused on her shoes, and he can't help but think that despite all the time they've spent together, maybe he doesn't really know her at all.
End.