Authors Note; So my latest obsession: Supernatural!
Just a quick one-shot type of thing about Dean and how he feels about his father's passing..
Set after series 2x1 (In My Time of Dying)
Dean Winchester hadn't been taking the death of his father as well as he could have been.
After smashing his most treasured possession up, a beautiful 1967 Chevrolet Impala; a gift, in fact, from his father himself, he had no idea what to do next.
One thing was for sure, however, and that was that it was clear to both him and his younger brother, Sam, that they both needed to find the thing that started this; Azazel; a demon whom had terrorised the Winchester's family house all those years ago. Twenty three years ago to be exact.
Azazel had ripped their family apart. John Winchester had never really gotten over the death of his wife, he had spent the remaining years of his life obsessing over finding the source which destroyed her, hunting anything he could, leaving his eldest son alone with his younger sibling on regular occasions, with nothing more than food and a contact telephone number; 'in case of emergencies', he used to tell Dean, and Dean knew what an 'emergency' meant; anything unusual or supernatural, he knew not to waste his time otherwise.
Dean did regret a lot of things from his childhood- well, if you could call it a childhood, that is. He blamed himself for his father's death as well, that's what was worse, the guilt.
Guilt that was so strong it was keeping him awake at night, guilt that would eat away at him until he snapped and confessed the whole scenario- or rather, the scenario which he had imagined inside his own head- came pouring out as easily as fresh blood from an open wound.
His father had died in order for him to live.
His father, his wonderfully courageous father, had given up his soul in order for Dean to live.
He had given his soul to Azazel, because he couldn't bear to see his eldest son die.
Sam had no idea of the cost of his father's death. Dean often wondered whether Sam would view him differently if he was ever to find out the truth. He couldn't bear the thought. He couldn't bear the thought of Sam's disappointment. He could deal with anyone else's, but not Sammy's. Not his little brother's.
Sam Winchester was Dean's life. He was the only good thing that Dean had left in his rapidly crumbling life.
As long as Sam was there next to him, fighting with him, he would always have someone to protect.
He would always have someone to tell him to man up.
It was time to go fight some son's of bitches, with his little brother.
They would find this demon if it was the last thing they did.
They would find him together.