I'm sitting here, in the meadows, where I made memories with him. The moon shines, brightening the whole world, making everything seem so peaceful, so quiet. But it's too quiet. There's no sound of movement, no sound of life. Yet here I am, remembering what I had, so long ago.
It feels like ages until I hear a snap of a twig, a light breath. I stay still like a statue, eyes fixed at the night sky, breaths quick and invisible. He sits, the nerve of him, like nothing has happened.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" His voice shatters the peace. My mind tells me I should be annoyed, that I should get up and leave, maybe yell at him. But that would ruin this picture even more, and where else can I go? I ignore him, blink slowly, and don't move.
He shifts his weight from one side to the other, clothes shuffling on the green grass. I feel my eye twitch ever so slightly from the noise. I can just hear the smile on his face, because of course he noticed it. He sighs deeply, "Beautiful, isn't it?" he repeats, as if he didn't say it before.
He's here, and the silence is long gone. I sigh deeply, sucking in all the fresh air. "Can't say it is. I don't know what beauty is, anymore." I know he's looking at me with that look in his eyes. I don't need to check. It's there.
His hand lifts to caress my face, I can just feel the air currents as he does so. I turn my head away, just in time. "Hermione." Silence. "Hermione." His voice raises up a bit. There's a pause, then "Hermione." He whispers.
"What?" I whisper back, squeezing my eyes shut. The voices are in my head again, and I try to block them out. My head aches, my body's gone numb, but the voices scream on, on and on and on…
"Hermione!" He's shaking me now, my head bobbing back and forth. I push his hands off me, standing up wobbly. I start to walk away, hear him scurry up and chase after me. My pace grows, and he quickens into a jog. I look past my shoulder once, and see his beautiful hair bounce in the wind, messing it up even more, his emerald eyes glistening under the moonlight. I scowl, because he is like an angel, glowing here in this meadow in the middle of nowhere. He's following me, and I break into a run.
The edge is so close, I can see the first pine tree of the forest just a few steps away, but of course I'm no match for him. He grabs my hand and turns me to face him just as I reach for the branch, and we lose balance and topple over. He lands on top of me, knocking the breath out of me. He groans, but he shouldn't be complaining. I'm the one who's trapped under him.
I close my eyes, pretend I am alone, just like a few minutes ago before he arrived. The voices are long gone, just the dead, quiet night, the faint glow of the moon above, nothing but me, and me alone…
"Hermione, open your eyes." I frown, chanting in my head "Alone, alone, alone, alone…" "Hermione. Come. On." He wrenches my hands off my eyes, and I close them just to spite him. He tickles my neck, and I curse softly in my head for telling him once here, in this meadow so long ago, where I was most sensitive and ticklish.
I pop open my eyes and glare at him, holding in squeals and giggles. I don't do that anymore. Not since… I shake my head to get rid of the thought.
"Hermione, please." His hot breath washes over my face, and I feel my face grow warm. There are butterflies in my stomach, my heart is pounding harder as I realize the awkward position we were in. "There's no use hiding out here all alone. Come on, let's go back and celebrate."
I get this sudden strength and push him off. He shouts, surprised, and rolls off to the side. I scramble up, my breathing heavier. I can just feel the anger boiling inside of me, even as I watch him stand and brush off some grass that was on his jacket.
"Celebrate?" His eyes grow wide at my outburst, "Celebrate? What is there to celebrate about?" I feel the tears finally spill out, after holding them in for so long. "Tell me, Harry! Tell me!" I scream, and my voice echoes.
I lower my head, squeeze my eyes shut to get rid of all those hateful tears. I shouldn't be crying anymore, no longer. I shake with anger, and I can't stop, can't control myself. Until his hand slips into mine and he embraces me warmly. I'm still shaking, but he presses himself even closer to me, setting his chin on my head, pushing my hair back in a soothing way. "Shh… It's ok, everything's alright, Hermione. You're fine, you're safe."
I blink the remaining tears away, and tilt my head to look at him. He's staring far away at nowhere, probably thinking about my question. I tug at his shirt and he looks down at me, with his lips slightly parted. And I don't know if it's because of his kind gesture that reminded me of his, or if it was due to my anger bottled up and forcing to emerge yet again, I pushed my lips forcefully to his.
I know he's surprised, but he ignores that and kisses me back furiously, keeping up with my pace. Something is wrong, but I grab a fistful of his shirt and tug him closer, as close as possible, and run my other hand through his hair. He just hugs me tighter, running out of breath but I don't care. I pull on his hair, earning a groan from him, but it's still not enough. He pushes me away to catch his breath, and I grow annoyed. I don't notice my deep breaths too, matching his, just that his lips aren't on mine, snogging the hell out of me.
He notices and dives toward my neck to make me feel better, sucking and nipping at my neck. He reaches my most sensitive spot and bites me hard, and I can't help but moan in pleasure. His hands are traveling upward, making me shiver when he draws patterns on my back. His grip grows stronger and I love how he makes me feel important.
All too soon, his hands, his lips, they all leave me. I open my eyes, and I wish he were still here. There is only Harry, Harry my best friend since first grade, Harry who has always loved me but has never received all of my love and attention.
I feel bad for Harry, because I wish it were someone else here in his place. Someone who I could never be with but still loved dearly, someone who has been my enemy until that faithful day we met here, someone with those gorgeous silver blue eyes and soft blonde hair.
I see him wherever I go, no matter who I see. I mistook Harry for him many times now, and that hurts, because I shouldn't be doing this to Harry. But what hurts most is missing him day and night, wishing he was somehow here again, by my side.
I miss you so much, Draco.