I'm Sorry
Calleigh was sitting in the ballistics lab, listening to the silence. This was her favorite area of the CSI offices. If anyone was looking for her, it was a sure bet she'd be here.
Speedle always knew where to find her. He was the only one, besides Horatio, that knew. Calleigh realized that Speed knew her better than she figured.
She kept remembering Speed and the little things he used to do, most of them were to try and piss her off. Most times, he succeeded.
"Why fill in the number? Why not just sand it all the way down?" she had asked.
Speed shrugged as he answered. "I don't know. Maybe it's a guy thing."
"What? They'll add on or cover up but they won't mess up the chassis?"
"You know what? You're scaring me."
Calleigh smiled at her memories of Speed. Even if he did make her mad at times, she still missed him dearly.
"Look what I've found here," she remembered Speed saying once.
"A bullet?" Calleigh had asked in response.
"No, but is that all you think about?"
"No. I think about guns too." Calleigh had smiled.
Calleigh always got a kick out of Speed. He had such a dry sense of humor. No matter what, he always made her laugh. She missed his laugh. It was infectious. No matter what kind of mood his co-workers were in, his smile and laughter could make them feel better.
He had told her one day that life is seconds, that turn into hours, hours into days, and days into months and months into years. He had said not to let anything get in the way of giving all you have to others. He didn't!
She had felt guilty the day Speed had died. She had been upset with him because of something silly.
"Alright. Which one of you stole my crime light?" she had asked.
"Well, stole is very negative. I…I had borrowed it and I…uh…I replaced it. I put it back." answered Speed.
"Well, it'd be nice if you charged it first. I was a the scene and it flat lined."
"Sounds like she's mad at you," Eric interjected.
"Calleigh, I sincerely apologize."
"Apology accepted. Give me yours."
"Go ahead. It's in my kit."
Calleigh had walked out of the lab after that. She wasn't mad at Speedle. She was just upset that he hadn't asked.
That was why she felt so guilty. She had been upset with him about something so stupid. She was sorry that she had picked a fight over some stupid equipment.
"I've got an officer down!" Calleigh's heart stopped when she heard Horatio's voice on the radio. She caught her breath and headed to the jewellery store.
"I think Speed had to look at his gun."
Calleigh nodded and took the gun. Poor maintenance. She chalked it up to gun malfunction. At least she could protect Speed's name.
She never got to say goodbye to him before he died. She had done that in the morgue while he lay on the cold, silver slab. It took every ounce of strength she had to see him there. She had been in that room several times before, but was never attached to the soul who left the body. She looked at him. His face. There was a sheet covering all but his face. She walked slowly over to him and touched his cheek. Tears poured from her eyes to him like rain.
His funeral. She lost it. Again. She had leaned on Eric Delko so she hadn't fallen to the ground. They had relied on each other in the days, and weeks, to follow. They needed each other more than ever.
Calleigh stood up from the chair and headed to the window. As she looked out, she could see the sun set. Speed's favorite time of day.
"I miss you Tim. We all do." She paused as the tears started to well up in her eyes. As they started to flow, she turned away from the window and closed her eyes.
"I'm sorry Speed."