a/n: This fic is rated M, for drinking, sexual references, and drug references. Basically this is a pretty dark fic, containing a darker version of Toby and Spencer.

Basically this explores a 'bad girl' side of Spencer, who tried to distance herself from Melissa's shadow as much as possible, causing her to be more confident and not afraid to get away from Ali, although the two were closer because of this.

Jenna also did accept Ali's offer in this version, and was never Toby's step sister. I'll elaborate on storylines as questions arise and also incorporate flashbacks into the story as they do in the show.

I'll try to finish this over the summer, so expect weekly updates when possible. If I decide on a date it will be posted next chapter. This isn't my usual fandom but I couldn't get the idea out of my head.

So let's begin and let me know what you think. Expect some justifiable OOC things, they'll be elaborated in the future.

always in the twilight

chapter one

a funeral, and a beginning

by colorshow

"Are you sure you want to be here?" Toby asked, his breath warm against her cheek. Spencer nodded shortly, "She was my friend once upon a time, even if we weren't at the time it happened."

"Right, but how do you feel about seeing everyone?" he questioned, slipping an arm around her waist.

How did she feel about seeing everyone? She wasn't on the best of terms with her old friends since she 'went off the deep end', "It won't be easy, but I need to say goodbye." Spencer said, "You don't have to be here, you know that."

His dimpled smile made her feel the slightest bit better "I want to be here for you, is that so bad? Ali may have hated me but you know she would've loved the crowd here for her funeral."

Spencer smirked "Surprising considering half the town wanted her dead. I just never thought she'd actually be dead, Ali acted as if she was invincible."

Glancing around the room he whispered "We should continue this conversation later, we don't want to be suspects". Spencer shrugged "We already are, aren't we?"

"Spencer, Spence, I need help!" The voice was frantic, and Spencer begrudgingly registered who the voice was, Alison, her former best friend or manipulator, either one worked.

Of course Ali would come to her, because Spencer would always take the fall or help you out. Those days were over though. "Babe, maybe you should check it out." Toby, her boyfriend whispered. At the moment he was shirtless as was she, they'd gone far before, enough for her to know exactly how good his hands were but they had yet to make it final. Being reckless enough for your parents to have you on birth control since the eighth grade had it's benefits. As well as the fact your parents wanted to have you separated so far from your family to go as far as to remodel the barn to make it your 'house'.

Spencer was the Hastings her family rather not recognize as family. 'Shacking Up' with the town anomaly as her parents so eloquently put it only made it worse.

"It's Alison, I want nothing to do with her." She murmured, pressing a kiss to his abs that she loved so much "Besides I'm in my underwear, that would be unfair to both of us." she whispered, relishing the groan that Toby responded with once again connecting their lips in a passionate kiss.

"Spencer Hastings, I will come up there, and I'm pretty sure that you don't want your parents to know you're practically naked up there, do you? With that boyfriend we both know they love so much." Ali continued, effectively once again killing the mood. Pushing herself off a dazed Toby she quickly threw on his shirt and a pair of yoga pants that haphazardly laid on the floor "I'll be back, just let me take care of this." she said to Toby, who nodded in approval "Don't do anything you'll regret."

She trudged down the stairs, and opened the barn door nearly hissing at Ali "What do you want? The days of me taking the fall for your stupid reckless ways are over! So get out of my life once and for all."

Ali smiled dryly, "From eye-fucking the town anomaly to actually fucking him. Bet you enjoy it Spencer, the two biggest outcasts finding comfort in each other, having fun getting high together and drinking away your sorrows?" she taunted.

Spencer's eyes flared and she brutally pushed Ali's shoulders "Like the golden girl has never done anything bad, you live off making others fear you. Bet Aria, Emily, Hannah, and that new girl are still following you around like patient puppy dogs, I know you can't stand that I'm the only one that has ever stood up to you. Says a lot Ali, being a manipulator and all, whatever trouble you're in I bet you deserve it." She turned around and began to walk back inside.

"I need you to help me get out of this Spencer, you're the smartest person I know, you try to hide behind this bad girl persona. You just know you can never live up to Melissa so you try to distance yourself far away from even being grouped in the same category as her. God, Spence, don't you know out of everyone you're the most like me. Minus the leather boots and jacket. I've helped you-" Ali began to protest.

"-No, you've never helped me, Toby he's helped me. Getting away from you has helped me. You act like I don't have a future, at least I haven't buried myself in a web of secrets so deep I'll never get out of Rosewood. I will get out of here.

Whatever it is, I bet you deserve it Ali."

Ali grew red with rage behind her, "Fuck you Spencer."

That was the last time she saw Alison DiLaurentis.

"I saw her that night Toby, do you know how guilty that makes me?" Spencer whispered, Toby shook his head "To be guilty you have to do something Spence. You did nothing."

Spencer shook her head "Let's get this over with once and for all."

"Agreed."

Taking a seat in one the back pews she silently looked for her parents, who were more than likely here, even if they wouldn't let her know. Of course Emily, Aria, Hannah, and Jenna were in the front way, each of them suffering in varying degrees. Spencer hated funerals, ever since going to her Grandmother's six months ago.

"Remember how drunk I got at my grandma's funeral, I hope you have something strong because I think I'll need it." Spencer whispered, scooting closer to Toby as she observed the many questioning gazes cast upon her.

Toby nodded "Whatever you need tonight, as long as you don't pass out."

"As long as it includes pizza, sex, and alcohol I'll be fine." Spencer scoffed, Toby smiled down at her, "That's what I thought."

Her eyes were trained on the casket which sat at the front of the church, the coffin firmly closed, which made sense. Even in death Ali wouldn't want anyone to know her secrets. "The first time I got drunk was with Ali, we were only in eighth grade, how screwed up were we?"

Toby shook up his head "Just because everyone thinks you're screwed up doesn't mean you are."

Before Spencer could respond the ceremony had begun.

Alison DiLaurentis was being put to rest once and for all.

"Can you believe she showed up here?" Hannah asked, nudging Emily's elbow. Causing Emily to look around wildly "What are you talking about, Spencer?"

Hannah nodded, Emily shrugged "Her and Ali used to be really close, we all were close, until she decided she didn't want to be a part of Ali's games. I barely see her around town anymore."

"She looks the same, heavy eyeliner, leather boots and jacket, clinging to Toby's arm. What has she been up to?" Aria asked. Jenna rolled her eyes "Other than sleeping with Toby and drinking herself to sleep who knows?"

"Like that's old news." Aria muttered "Let's just forget about her, this is Ali's day."

"Still here even though she's long gone." Emily whispered.

An hour later the girls all simultaneously received a text as they stood outside the church.

I'm still here bitches -A

Two hours later after she was already half naked and in Toby's arms, her head fuzzy from the alcohol she had consumed, Spencer received a text.

I need your help Spencer, maybe you'll actually go through with it this time. Meet me at 8 at the drinking hole, and bring your boyfriend. Or else. -A

Please review and let me know what you think, it helps me update faster!