Yeah, this is historical. But all the history is Hetaliafied, and I skipped a few pretty big things because either 1) I didn't remember enough to feel secure in writing about it (Vietnam) or 2) I had no idea how to write about it (Civil Rights Movement, JFK). I also have some smaller random things because I remembered them and thought they were pretty cool. Notes at the end if you get lost. So basically, take a pinch of salt, and enjoy!
1763
England was overjoyed. He was finally getting to go home to see little America! He had promised to look after his little brother, and by George, he had done just that! He had seen America right before he left, of course, and introduced him to… Ca… Canada, that was it! But then he had to leave for Europe so that he could discuss terms of surrender with that bloody frog.
Honestly, it had been a bit of a pain, squabbling with France in the New World, but it was well worth it. Even if he had been terrified for America's sake. The boy was so young, and France was vicious, and he had recruited the natives…
Oh well. He was coming home, France was gone from the Americas, and everything was perfect!
"America!" he called out cheerfully. "I'm home!"
"Oh, hi England!" a voice called. England stared in puzzlement and growing horror. No. No way. Where was little America? Who was this strange tall man who… oh bloody hell, was he taller than England? England was never fighting a war for America's sake again if this was what happened!
1773
"But England…" America whined. "I don' wanna!"
"America," England said patiently, "You've finally grown up, so it's time that you started doing your own work and paying taxes." Maybe that will teach you to grow on me, you little brat he added vindictively in his mind. No, he wasn't jealous or resentful at all! Not. At. All.
America crossed his arms sulkily. "But this is stupid! And what's with you making tea so expensive? I'm not gonna drink it if that's what you're doing! I'll make my own stuff! Like coffee! Out of patriotic exploding acorns or something!"
England could feel a headache coming on. "America," he said warningly.
"And I can't go west? What kinda crap is that?" America continued mercilessly. "You know what, your brothers are already going west. I'm just gonna go with them. They're more fun anyways. And they know these great pranks! Like the one with all the tar and the feathers!"
"AMERICA!"
January, 1776
England slowed as he passed by a wealthy shop, noting the title of the book proudly displayed in the window.
"Common Sense?" he read aloud. "About time that America got some."
July 4, 1776
"So, um, you're sure we're doing the right thing, yeah?" America asked nervously.
Benjamin Franklin smiled at him reassuringly as the line of signers slowly shuffled forwards. "Yes. We've already tried petitions. England just won't listen. Remember what we just agreed on? 'When in the Course of human events…'"
"I know, I know," America said quickly, forestalling the recitation of the whole thing. "And there's the whole Lexington and Concord deal. But um… I mean, wow. I'm just… free? No connections to England whatsoever?"
"Only the connections that you would have as equally recognized countries," Franklin said eagerly.
"It's just… kinda weird," America admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm still trying to wrap my head around it."
Franklin smiled encouragingly.
November 1776
"C'mon France!" America begged. "You're always fighting England! What's wrong with fighting him with me?"
France sighed as the wind dramatically blew his hair. "America," he said patiently. "You are an unknown quality. It would be foolish if I attempted to aid you when it is still very possible that England will simply crush you like a bug. I suppose what I'm saying is," he said, drawing close, a bit too close, smiling seductively, "Prove you're worth it."
October 1777
There was a battle, in the rain. America won, but he wasn't sure how happy he was about that.
1783
"AHA! I'm finally free!" America yelled. "Take that old man!"
France and England stood off to the side, watching America yell to the breeze.
"So you finally helped him, you bloody frog," England groused, wincing as his side twinged with pain.
"Oui," France said, looking supremely unruffled. "He finally managed to prove his worth."
England snorted. "He wouldn't have won without you."
France flashed him a quick smile. "I know. Delightful, isn't it?"
England grimaced. "How long do you think the lad will last?" he asked with a dull curiosity.
"Ten minutes," the Frenchman said immediately.
"Five," England countered as America slipped and fell down the hill.
1797
"So um… thanks," America said awkwardly.
George Washington paused in his cleaning. "For what?" he asked curiously.
"Just, you know. I mean, you were my first, and you were… wonderful." America said shyly. "Are you sure you can't stay?"
Washington shook his head. "I think I've had enough of politics. I just want to go back to farming."
"That's cool," America said. "But um… any last advice from my first president?"
Washington smiled and sighed. "All right. Well then… first off, please don't encourage political parties. Did you see what went on with Jefferson and Hamilton? They moderated each other, but my life would have been much simpler if they could have agreed on even one single thing. Even something like what they wanted for breakfast. Just one day of them not arguing over whether eggs or bacon was better…"
"No political parties, got it," America said solemnly, ignoring the president's wistful expression.
"All right then, stay out of Europe, and you'll be fine" Washington said firmly, coming back to the present.
"Eh? You think that's a good idea? I mean, Europe's where England is… and… and… people!" America exclaimed.
"XYZ Affair?" Washington said with an ironic smile. "Jay's Treaty? Neither of those went well. We're a self-sufficient nation now. Please, just stay out of Europe."
America chewed his lip. "I'll try…"
Washington looked at America sternly. "America, please. Listen to me on this. No. Europe. It's bad for your health."
1797, a little while later
England did not appreciated receiving a letter from the president of his former colony warning him to stay away from America because Washington had a musket and was prepared to use it if England did anything to his little boy.
1800
America and Jefferson were walking along one fine day when a rather suspicious looking France shuffled up to them.
"Hey, America," he called softly. He pulled open his coat, showing a map with a significant area outlined in red. "Wanna buy some territory? It's cheap!"
America's eyes went wide and he immediately turned to Jefferson. "Please Mr. President?" he begged. "Please oh please oh please?"
Jefferson uncomfortably fiddled with his shirt collar. "America, I don't know…"
"Aw, c'mon!" America whined. "Pleaaaase?"
Jefferson sighed in defeat. "How much for the territory?" he asked France resignedly, pulling out his wallet.
1807
"Huh," Jefferson said, looking over his newspaper. "England and France are fighting again."
"Big deal," America shrugged. "It's just their thing. I think this is their way of celebrating their anniversary or something. I guess it beats buying plates or whatever."
"Er… well, about that," Jefferson said awkwardly. "You see, England…"
America felt a deep sense of regret in his stomach. "What about England?" he asked.
"Er… you see, England's been impressing our sailors, saying that they're really British and that they're needed for the war. And he's been interfering with our ships, claiming we're helping France and, ah…" Jefferson trailed off at the look on America's face.
"Damn it England!" America swore ferociously. "I thought you were over that pirate phase!"
1807, a few months later
France and England were fighting, but this was such a normal state of affairs with them that they had no problem taking time off to consider the letters that America had sent them.
"So, he's declared an embargo on us?" France asked, puzzled.
"Ah, well, he likes me better," England, said smugly. "He's offered to take the embargo off of me, and just leave it on you."
"Only if you stop pestering him," France noted.
England shrugged. "Yes."
France raised an eyebrow. "Are you going to stop?"
England smirked. "No."
"Ah. So, can you carry on without your dear America's assistance?"
"Of course, you bloody frog!"
Two years later, America dropped the embargo on the both of them as he desperately tried to fight off his cold. England just smirked.
1812
"Canada!" America exclaimed as he burst into his brother's house.
"Ah, America?" Canada asked, confused. "What are you doing here?"
"I am at war with England, because he's being a bastard!" America announced happily.
"So, um, are you lost?" Canada asked tentatively. "England is across the Atlantic… not, you know, north."
"I know that," America said huffily. "But you're English territory, yeah?"
"Yes," Canada said slowly, not liking the direction this was taking.
"And so, in fighting England, I will liberate you from that stupid, overbearing idiot! You can be part of the U.S.!" America announced grandly.
"Um, that's nice America, but I'm fine," Canada said calmly.
America frowned. "Canada," he said warningly.
Canada didn't even flinch. "I'm not going," he said firmly.
One short fight later, and America was limping home as Canada cheerfully settled in to make pancakes.
1823
Many nations were quite surprised by America. He had issued some strange statement called the 'Monroe Doctrine', in which he quite politely told them all to keep the hell out of the Americas. Eyebrows were raised, and the Doctrine was just as politely ignored. Exactly where did America get the impression that he was strong enough to keep them out? Oh yes, he was the 'hero'.
1835
America studied the strange book France had given him curiously. "Alexis de Tocqueville's Democracy in America?" he asked slowly. "What's this all about?"
France shrugged. "A man of my people visited your land and wrote about what he saw. He seems to think you'll have trouble with Russia in the future. Some bizarre nonsense about how each of you will hold one half of the world in your hands. Strange man."
"What's a Russia?" America asked, confused.
1836
"Woah, wait a moment. What the hell do you mean, Texas isn't part of the U.S?" America demanded. "I thought there was the whole Alamo thing and all!"
The luckless private who had been chosen to explain sighed. "Texas has decided to become it's own republic, sir," he said patiently.
"Well screw that! Manifest Destiny is calling!"
1862
America pushed his glasses a little higher on his nose before leaning back over the toilet. "This sucks," he groaned.
"The puking, or all the death?" Canada asked. The last bout of vomiting had brought up quite a bit of blood.
"Both," America moaned. "I think England's making it worse. I mean, he sent me a cursed letter!"
"You're overreacting," Canada said with a sigh.
America just grunted in reply. They sat in a somewhat uncomfortable silence for a few moments before America spoke up again. "Hey, Canada? Would you do me a favor?"
"I'm not making you pancakes," Canada said immediately. "It's not good for you right now."
America gave a weak laugh. "I know that. Just, on my desk, there's a document. Mind bringing it here? You can read it if you like."
Canada nodded, and smiled at America before exiting the small bathroom. He walked quietly through the large house, now falling into disrepair. America had little time or money to fix it up.
Entering the study, Canada easily found the document, and as he slowly turned towards the door he began to read it, lips moving along silently. He was frowning by the time he reached the bathroom.
"America?" he called, only to be answered by the sound of puking. Deciding not to watch, Canada leaned against the wall beside the door.
"This…" he began, before realizing he hadn't read the name of the document.
"Emancipation Proclamation," Alfred said helpfully before bending back over the toilet and commenced spewing once more.
"Right," Canada murmured. Louder, he continued, "You do realize that this only frees the slaves in the South, yeah?"
America stuck his head around the doorframe. "Your point being?"
1867
"So, Mr.," America glanced at the paper in front of him, "Russia. Why should I buy Alaska from you?"
"Alaska is a very good buy," Russia said reassuringly. America thought that perhaps he and Russia could get along. After all, the man smiled so much! "Besides," the nation continued on, "This will encourage friendship between us, and America wishes to be my friend, da? Because it is much better to be friends than… other things." On second thought, maybe that smile was creepy. Just a tad.
America did buy Alaska, although after he bought it he was unsure as to why because nothing really matched with Alaska and he would probably never find a use for it.
1898, after a splendid little war
"So, um, Spain, no hard feelings, yeah?" America said cheerfully. "I mean, I put out the Monroe Doctrine and all, and then when the Cubans are revolting…"
"Oh, it's okay Mr. America," Spain said, perhaps a little less cheerfully than usual. "I just hope you'll get along with everyone."
"Ah, really? I'm the U.S. of A! I'll be okay," America said reassuringly.
Spain quirked an eyebrow. America had been very isolationist recently, but well, if he said he was okay, Spain wasn't going to pry.
"Ah, well, I guess I'll introduce you then," Spain said. "You've met Cuba," he motioned to the tall man angrily smoking a cigar.
America decided to ignore the single digit that was flashed to him.
"And this is the Philippines," Spain continued.
America decided to ignore the angry spew of words directed towards him.
"And Puerto Rico," Spain concluded.
America decided that he liked the only one who did not, in point of fact, insult him. Puerto Rico just glared at him.
1899-1900
"France, c'mon. This is the hero asking you to be a hero to," America pleaded. "Just play fair with everyone else when you're bossing China around."
France sighed. "I understand completely," he said smoothly. I just don't agree.
"England," America said frostily.
"America," England said with a sniff.
"Are you going to accept the Open Door Policy?" America asked coldly.
"I'm reviewing the paperwork." England replied deftly. That means no, you dolt.
"And so that's why I think we should be play nice with China," America concluded.
Germany blinked. He was still getting used to being a nation. He momentarily wished his brother were here, because he was terrible at lying. And then Germany blinked again. Had he just wished his brother were there, in a delicate political situation? Heaven forbid.
"I must consult with my brother," he said politely. I'm not lying, but I still mean no.
"So will you help me out here Italy?" America asked.
"~Ve! Are you sure you don't want some pasta?" Italy asked cheerfully.
"He means we'll think about it," Romano cut in sourly. That means no, you bastard.
"So, um, yeah," America finished lamely. Russia was looking a little… frazzled.
"Of course, friend America," Russia said, still smiling. "But my country is dealing with some… unrest, so it might take some time to process your request." As in a thousand years.
"So, are you cool with that?" America asked hopefully. He and Japan were cool, yeah?
Japan regarded him calmly. "I understand, America. I will act accordingly." By which I mean no.
"And so I am happy to announce that you all have technically agreed to the Open Door Policy!" America announced happily.
There were various disbelieving looks and sounds around the table, but the silence was first split by China. "What the hell, aru! You didn't even consult me!" he shouted, jumping up.
"Ah, but China," Russia said sweetly, wrapping his arms around the distraught nation, "Now I can visit you all the time!"
1915
"Woah, okay, not cool!" America yelled as he burst into the room.
Prussia and Germany turned to regard him confusedly.
Prussia recovered first. "Oh, do you have a problem?" he asked sweetly.
"Uh, yeah!" America said in the tones of 'duh'. "You sunk my passenger ship!"
"Technically, it was England's," Germany pointed out.
"With my people on it!" America shouted, arms flailing.
"And your weapons?" Prussia asked sweetly.
America froze for a second. "They were unarmed," he ground out.
"Oops," Prussia said lightly. "Sorry, Germany here's such a silly boy, but he's very sorry and he won't do it again. Next time, he'll let you know that he's about to sink you."
1919
"All right!" America said cheerfully. "So you all know the gist of my Fourteen Points! Do you all agree?"
Around the table, various countries nursing headaches, broken limbs, and various scrapes wondered exactly how America was so cheerful. Oh yes. Because he was a hummingbird on caffeine with an insane amount of resources and people to spare.
"Yes, yes, America, we understand it," England said briskly. "We just have a few debates about everything."
"You're passing the League of Nations, though, yeah?" America asked nervously.
"Oh, bloody hell," England groaned. "For the last time, it is up for debate!"
"Oh, ok," America said with a little laugh. "That's great, it's just that um… well,Ican'tgetCongresstoagreesoIcan'treallyjoin but other than that it's all good!"
All around the table, nations mentally translated the rushed together words, and then performed some motion of despair or face palm. Oh, America.
1920's
"America?" France asked, confused. America glanced over at him, sighed, then returned to the book he was reading in the chic little café in Paris. "America," France tried again, "What are you doing here? I thought you would be back home, you know, enjoying your little never-ending party. Or running liquor, I don't know."
America gave a dramatic sigh. "It's just not for me. America is a corrupted mess of sores. The Great War has opened my eyes. I'll just live in Paris and ignore America."
"Ah," France said. "One moment." He quickly backed away, and found a telephone.
"England," he said without the usual opening insult, "Get over here and get America off my territory. I am not putting up with his first identity crisis or emotional teenager phase or whatever this is. Or I suppose it could be his midlife crisis. Although in that case, I probably could give him some advice on how to… Hello? England?" France hung up the phone, miffed. "He hung up."
1930's
Oops.
Early 1941
"So, um, yeah, just stop by my place with some money and I'll make sure you have weapons," America said cheerfully.
"Thank you," England said graciously. Because he was a respectable gentleman. He would not yell at America over his slowness. Again.
America sighed as he watched England limp away. He really was sorry, but well… He wanted to stay out of war. It wasn't very heroic.
December 7, 1941
A day that lives in infamy as two nations reflected that, just perhaps, they had screwed up.
1945
England came across a strange sight. "America? Russia? What are you two doing?" he asked in confusion.
"It's a staring contest," America explained without looking away. "This Commie's gonna blink first!"
"Nyet," Russia said with a smile. "America will surely blink first, because capitalism is weak, so therefore America is weak, yes?"
America's eyes gleamed. "I have the bomb," he said softly.
Russia's smile grew. "So do I," he replied.
The tension in the air twisted up a few notches.
"Ah, yes," England stammered, before fleeing the room. Right. Leave Russia and America alone. And make sure that America doesn't get his geography confused again and launch a bomb on England.
1948
Prussia looked up tiredly at the sound of planes. He wasn't sure exactly what he was anymore, but he was alive, and that was enough for him. But he was getting weaker, and his people were hungry because Russia was a bastard and oh God, please don't let those be bomber planes…
He tilted his head in confusion. Was that a… crate? Parachuting from the sky? As it landed, he wandered over curiously. The lettering wasn't Cyrillic, so maybe that meant this box wasn't a trap.
Carefully, he opened it up, and stared in shock. Food, clothes, everything. And on top of it all, a note from America.
"Well," Prussia said mildly. "I guess I should say thanks?" He scanned the box again. "Aw, but no booze," he pouted.
1950's
"England," America said seriously, "Russia is everywhere."
England looked at him strangely. "Excuse me?"
America looked haunted. "Russia is everywhere! He's infiltrated my government, my schools, everything, I just know it! And now he's in space! HE'S EVERYWHERE!"
England politely coughed and scooted over further away. Apparently, the Cold War was frying America's brain.
"But have no fear," America said reassuringly. "For I shall create space lasers to keep us safe!"
England began to wonder why he had come to America at all.
"I like Ike," America said randomly.
October 1962
"Oh good God," England muttered, staring in horror.
"England? What is going on?" France asked in confusion.
"They're playing tic-tac-toe," England groaned, dropping his head into his hands.
France glanced over to where America and Russia were intensely absorbed in their game as Cuba moderated. "Weren't they having a staring contest?" he asked uncertainly.
"They seem to think tic-tac-toe is a better idea now," England muttered.
France blinked. "Well, perhaps this is good," he began. "Maybe we will finally have a winner?"
England looked despairingly at France. "Look you bloody frog, if one of them loses, hell, if one of them wins, they launch the bombs. And the other one will launch their bombs. And we all die."
France and England regarded the intensely focused pair for a second.
"Well, at least they can still get a cat's game?" France offered meekly.
"Sometimes, I think the only way they could have won the game was if they had never played at all," England growled.
February 7, 1964
England sighed as the plane slowly coasted down the tarmac. He wasn't sure why he had come to America, but well… He glanced at the four young band members who were eagerly staring out the window and smiled softly. The lads were so excited, and they were so full of promise. He couldn't just abandon them.
Eventually, the plane was stopped, and the stairs lowered, and immediately the passengers were buffeted by waves of sound.
What the…? England wondered. As he approached the door, he realized the sound was hundred, no thousands of people screaming in joy. England nearly fell over in shock. He certainly couldn't remember the last time America had given anything of his a reception like this!
Still in shock, England followed the band members down the stairs, only to be suddenly tackled to the ground.
"ENGLAND!" America yelled happily, right in his ear. "Oh my God, thank you thank you thank you! This is an absolutely amazing best day ever now! I could totally kiss you right now!"
As England was hauled to his feet and wrapped in a bone-crushing hug, he thought through the warm fuzzy feeling that was slowly short-circuiting his thought process that this was actually the best reception he ever had from anyone.
July 20, 1969
America stared in awe at his television. He had done it. As the words, "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind," echoed around his living room, he pulled Tony into a spontaneous dance.
"I did it Tony!" he cried. "I'm on the moon!"
Tony wasn't sure exactly why this was such a big deal, because the moon was grey and boring, but he was happy that America was happy.
1974
"Good God, have I taught you nothing?" England drawled. "Or did you just loose your mind at last?"
America stared at the carpet. "'s not my fault," he said quietly. "I don' wanna believe it either."
England's shoulders drooped. America really was hurt by this wasn't he? Then again, America had always made it a point to get to know his leaders, to try and not contradict them, to be nice to them. He probably didn't really know how to handle a scandal like this.
"America," he said softly. "It will turn out just fine. It's one rotten leader out of, what? 40?"
"He was the 37th," America said quietly. "And I just… I dunno. And it's so close to my big birthday. I was kinda hoping it wouldn't be so sucky."
November 9, 1989
It wasn't really America's moment, but he felt that he had to be there. He had to smile though. Prussia's greeting of Germany was quite… enthusiastic. As Germany viciously rubbed his lips against the back of his hand, Prussia was just running around, hugging everyone. Austria and Hungary, clinging tightly to each other, watched from a distance with smiles on their faces.
America, however, looked beyond the wall that even now was slowly crumbling as ecstatic citizens viciously attacked it. He saw a tall man, just beyond the mad rush of people, staring at him. America gave a tight little smile and a wave. Russia's smile grew in return, and they stood there for a second, reliving their ever-present staring contest, before Russia wheeled about and walked off.
Thank you for reading. Please, let me know if something's off historically or grammatically. I have a tendency to use obscure slang/made-up words that I don't always catch. Also, I can't spell worth a crap 90% of the time. A few expansionary notes:
1763) I just happen to see America's growth spurt as coming after the French and Indian War (7 Years War to the people across the pond) because that is when America began to recognize his power as a nation, and not as just 'English colonies'.
1773) America references England's brothers moving west. The Scots and the Irish moved past the Appalachian Mnts. in direct disregard of England's orders. The Scot-Irish still make up a large demographic in the Appalachian region, and they had a large influence, particularly when America was young. The Revolution and the years leading up to it is also when America decided that he hated tea and loved coffee.
July 4, 1776) Very important day, yes. Franklin's there cause he's cool. And a pimp. And he was actually there. But anyways, even at this point, America had trouble getting all of his people to join the war effort. Americans kinda sorta wanted their freedom, but that didn't mean they were going to join the army and help out to get it. They were cool with being English if it meant they lived.
October 1777) I kinda associate the battle in the rain with the battle of Saratoga. Mostly because that was the pivotal point of the war, where America managed to defeat the British Army, and get France to finally help him. And it leads to Valley Forge, where America gets to be angsty about England and his chances of winning.
1783) Um, yeah, everyone thought that America (an experimental democracy) would fail completely. Confidence! Plus, there was like, no way America could have won the Revolution without foreign aid, so…
1797) Because Washington was boss. (Actually, like half the founding fathers were awesome, but I couldn't work them in… sadness.) That was actual advice he gave, just slightly embellished by me. The man was smart. XYZ Affair was France jerking us around, and Jay's Treaty was England jerking us around. Neither of them really recognized America as a full-fledged nation yet.
1800) Jefferson, a strict Constitutionalist, wasn't really sure that he wanted/could buy the Louisiana Purchase under the Constitution, but France was selling it cheap because he needed money to help Napoleon and suchlike. And I do mean cheap. Like less than 3 cents per acre cheap.
1807+1812) Yeah, England… was in denial. He kinda kept mucking around in America, didn't remove his forts, stuff like that. See 1797 and Jay's Treaty. So America attacked Canada with flawless logic! He entered with the slogan of "Canada or Bust" or something like that, and exited with "Not One Inch Lost or Gained!". When Canada fights, he means business. And this was when America tended to overestimate his 'heroness'.
1823) The Monroe Doctrine was a spectacular fail when it was issued, because at the time the U.S. had no way of backing it up. This also marked the start of isolationist!America.
1835) Um, yeah. A lot of people were kinda curious about Tocqueville and why he thought the U.S and Russia would be world powers, because at the time they were still in development. And in defense of America: "Oh, Russia? Is he like… that weird guy waaaay over in Washington?" Russia and the U.S. at this point… were rather distant.
1862) A lot of people imagine Civil War!America as bi-polar or something. I can see that, but to me, stomach flu makes sense too. The South was America's food center and all, and the Civil War pretty well bankrupted America, which would give him cold symptoms. England's cursed letter refers to the fact that England really kinda sided with the Confederacy. And the Emancipation Proclamation? Yeah, another screwy American idea. It was South only mostly because Lincoln couldn't afford to upset the border states.
1898) 'Splendid little war' is what one newspaper called the Spanish-American War. Poor Spain tends to get the short end of the stick when dealing with America. We got Florida because Andrew Jackson ignored orders and invaded and kept going until America and Spain were forced to reach an agreement. America also received Guam from the S-A War, but had to pay Spain $20,000. And both Cuba and the Philippines revolted against America shortly afterwards.
1899-1900) Germany was about… 20-30 years old at this point. Prussia had managed to unify all the German states, and he still had a big influence on Germany up through WWI. After the Open Door Policy was implemented, (which did not last long) China held the Boxer Rebellions, which were put down with extreme violence. Russia then proceeded to stick around China and generally bug him to become one. Although 5 years later Russia had Bloody Sunday, and um… ow.
1915) We're talking about the Lusitania here, in case you didn't catch that. It really was a British passenger ship with American passengers that German U-Boats sank. What's generally not mentioned is that it was carrying American weapons to Britain, so technically Germany was in the clear sinking it. But he was supposed to warn ships before sinking them, and he didn't. This helped the U.S. decide he wanted join WWI.
1920's) Yeah, this was all the fun with mobsters and flappers and everything happened, but this was also when we got angsty expatriates who didn't believe in the U.S. anymore. They wrote good books though. A lot of them ended up in France, and it amuses me to think of this as America's emo-teen phase.
1941) While America was late to both World Wars, he was much better about the second one, setting up a variety of programs so that he could give weapons to the allies while still remaining neutral. The one referenced here is the Cash-and-Carry program, where if cash was paid, you got all the weapons you could carry.
1945) Technically, the Cuban Missile Crisis was what was described as a staring contest, but oh well. I think it works here.
1950's) McCarthyism. It was really freaky. And space lasers! Much cooler. I apologize that I couldn't work in poodle skirts. The 'I like Ike' is because the 50's really was that weird. People were screaming about the Reds, but it was totally also the time of prosperity and peace (and babies. Baby Boomers, gah!). And Eisenhower was pretty cool, but the whole 'I like him' was basically what he based his whole political stance off of. People joked that he was the 'missing president' because he was never in his office. He went hunting and golfing and whatnot. He did give us lovely roads though!
October 1962) The Cuban Missile Crisis really was a sort of draw, although Russia backed down first. After this, though, the Cold War kinda… cooled down? Um, got less intense. And points to you if you catch the pop culture reference.
Feb 7, 1964) Beatlemania, a.k.a. the British Invasion a.k.a. when America was totally fangirling for England. Newsreels from the Beatles' arrival actually show some girls fainting. It's hilarious.
1974) Okay, yeah, Nixon was bad. But do you know the really bad part? Before him, people implicitly trusted the president. Even when they criticized him, they held the president with respect, or believed he would help them with their troubles. After Nixon, that trust was pretty well shattered beyond repair, which is part of why today's public is so very cynical of the president. It might have helped if the man hadn't attempted to claim that since he was the president, he could withhold vital info in the court that was trying him for impeachment. Or used the FBI and CIA against each other to conceal evidence.
1989) Not strictly about America, I know, but as we move into the modern age it's all about globalization and how we interact with the rest of the world. Plus, I don't know near as much about modern day times. Sad but true. And Austria and Hungary pop up because 1) I find them extremely cute and 2) Hungary opened her borders to Austria first (cue fangirl squee), allowing a huge wave of East Germans to escape and get to West Germany, which prompted the fall of the Wall. Which prompted the fall of the Soviet Union.