Sheldon's Journal
Dear Journal,
I recently decided to start a diary documenting my life and am glad to have finally started. Although I made this decision half based on my two friends Dr. Raj Koothrappali and not a Dr. Howard Wolowitz, I decided to partake in the Diary Paradigm as an experiment. The other reason that I decided to write in a diary was because I really wanted to document my relationship with Amy Farrah Fowler.
Although I know dating sites are complete hokum I'm interested in Amy's feelings towards humanity. She seemed to share the same feelings as I do towards communication and sarcasm, unless she was being sarcastic. . . It seemed as if I met myself in a female form, however, I know I have to give that thought my look of haughty derision.
After I met her and we exchanged a few sentences I feel as if I followed protocol extremely well by offering her a beverage. However, I was a little tipsy when she ordered the "Tall" Cappuccino because I had sent many angry letters to them specifically saying that the cup must be a lot taller than it is to be classified as such. I quickly told her to switch her order and just get a small hot chocolate instead as the Cappuccino had rat poisoning in it. As the smart woman she is she complied to my request and switched her order. I liked that.
I then ordered the same thing and we sat down at a table. I had her answer the "new friend" questionnaire I put together a while a few days ago preparing for this event. She filled it out with no complaints unlike my slovenly group would have. She was turning out to be a potential new friend. Unfortunately I would start having to decide which friend I had to kick out like I did when I befriended Kripke. Like I said before, a group of five is all I can handle.
I stopped writing for a moment because I heard a noise outside of my room. I climbed out of bed and listened to what was outside. After moving my wardrobe to block the door I scrambled over to the window. Now I'm in Leonard's room and if you couldn't guess Penny was there too participating in their amorous activities. I sat in between them to stop it. Although I didn't want to be in my room I don't want to be here either. They keep craning over my neck trying to steal my genius for sure, and Penny snores. I find it disgusting.
I just grabbed my luminous fish and put them in Leonard's room. He didn't like them.
"Sheldon! Put them away, they're too bright!" he whined.
"Leonard, they're fish, they can't be turned off."
"BE QUIET!" said the snorer.
I don't think I can stand the complaining any longer so I'll stop writing.
Dr. Sheldon Cooper signing out.
Dear Journal,
I woke up this morning to the smell of something delicious from the kitchen. I entered around six and found Penny making sour cream coffee cake.
"Oh, hey Sheldon. Would you like some cake? It will be done in twenty minutes."
"It's Monday."
"So?"
"Monday is oatmeal day."
"Oh for cryin' out loud Sheldon! We've had this discussion before! Just eat the damn food and let go of your schedule!"
"NO!"
I couldn't stand the fighting between us so I ran to my room and grabbed my noise cancelling headphones.
Dear Journal,
Now I'm watching Dr. Who in my seat with the volume on the television as loud as Leonard and Penny a few weeks ago. It wasn't the best quality sound but it was better than listening to the Nebraskan shout in my ear. I turned towards her and saw her moving mouth with no sound coming out. I smiled at her. She was yelling because I woke her up extremely early, oh well.
I returned to watching Doctor Who and have just finished it now. Now I just have to pack my workbag, prepare clothes for tonight's meeting with Amy Farrah Fowler, and move my bowel. I'll leave for work in one hour and continue working on my M-Theory formulae. I will leave for the coffee shop at four post meridian with Leonard as my driver. I'm delighted to see Amy again. Today I prepared an interest form for her. I'll write later tonight.
I had a pleasant prevening with Amy. As it turns out she enjoys monkeys and trains too. We even managed to surface the fact that her I.Q. isn't measurable by regular tests either! We'll see each other in four days time at the coffee shop again, and I can't wait to see her diary pages from her childhood. She told me that her parents fought a lot too, and one of them is even a Christian fanatic like my mother. If we become friends we promised each other that we would meet each other's parents sometime in June 2011. As of now, however, I am home and am preparing for laundry night. It's 8:13 now so I'll leave in thirty seconds to get down there at 8:15.
My laundry is folded and I am preparing for bed. My pyjamas are on and am about to read the new Flash comic book I got Wednesday. I think I'm done writing for now.
Dr. Sheldon Cooper.