Disclaimer: I don't own any of this. Except for the clock. I OWN THE CLOCK!
"You need it."
"NO I DON'T!"
"You do."
"I DON'T!"
"YOU DO."
"I DO NOT YOU !# PANSY!"
There I was, standing there flipping the president of ShinRa off. It was my birthday, so what? Everyone just wants to be nice to the birthday boy and give him a day off. Pfffft. Whatever.
RENO'S DAY.
Rufus:...(Glares.)
Reno:...(Slumps.)
Tseng: Reno! That was un-called for--!
Rufus: Leave him be. He needs to be taught a lesson.
Reno:...(Gulp.) Y-Yessir?
Rufus: You are now on probabtion for desecrating the fundamentals of direct government. Insulting your superior in office, and disobeying a direct order.
Reno: O.O NO. #$. WAY. I actually knew what you said!
Everyone else: (Cue Anime Fall.)
Rufus: You will here by be sentenced to one week probation! (Slams Hammer-thingymabob-of-JUSTICE!)
Tseng: Where'd he get one of those?
Reno: NO WAY. Damn.
Elena: Bye Reno!
Reno: STFU. (Walks out of the room.)
::At Reno's Apartment::
Reno:...staring at the clock
"It has been 2 days, 13 hours, and 49 minutes. Probabtion ends in 5 days, 20 minutes, and 11 minutes."
Reno: Grrr...THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH! (throws clock out of the window)
Clock: Nosir! NOOOOOOOO!
Reno: THAT'S WHAT YOU GET!
Bystander #1: I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN TOO! (runs off)
Reno:NO I DIDN'T MEAN I MEANT THE--! Damn...!
Ding-dong.
Muffled voice: Reno? Reno are you there?
Reno: Coming, COMING JEEZ! (opens door)
Elena: Hi, Reno.
Reno: Whaddya want, you blonde-bimbo-ditz?
Elena: I got you something.
Reno: Eh?
Elena: I baked a cake for you.
Reno: Huh?
Elena: Everyone at the office misses you. Too bad, you're still on probation.
Reno: (pulls her hair) Is that you, Elena?
Elena: DAMMIT! RENO! FORGET THIS! I WAS GOING TO BE NICE FOR YOU BUT NO--YOU JUST WANT TO SPREAD YOUR MISERY AND BE MAD ALL DAY.
Reno: U-uh...I''m sorry, Dude, Elena....
Elena: YOU KNOW WHAT? SCREW YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (throws the cake, which hits Reno on the face)
Reno:... (pieces cake falls off his face)...Yeah...Thanks.
Elena: I'm sorry...Reno...I'm...
Reno: Whatever. (slams door)
Elena:...I'm...Sorry... (walks away)
::LAST DAY, 12:00::
Reno: Today's my birthday. Not like anyone cares...The stars look nice tonight.
Bring!
Reno: (answers) Hello?
Tseng's Voice: We have an urgent mission. After this you're off probation.
Reno: Finally.
Tseng: Good luck. Here's your mission...
::Early Next Morning::
"Welcome back, Reno!"
"Yo, It's Reno!"
"Yeah, yeah, Great to be back."
::Main Office:
Reno: Reno here.
Rufus: Have you a great birthday.
Reno: Hell no.
Rufus: Good.
Tseng: Well, here. Promotion, second-in-command.
Reno: Eh?
Tseng: You're second in command now.
Reno: Weren't you?
Tseng: Reeve's moved on. I'm First-in-command now.
Reno:...
Tseng: We also have a new recruit.
Reno: Who?
Tseng: Elena.
Reno:...(dies)
Author's note:
Yeah, not as funny. So what. By the way, I was always thinking of Elena as a secretary or something. So I made her one. Just in case you were wondering. I haven't mentioned Rude either...