She Was

by Elusive16

After Elsa is in an accident, Anna has to try and live without her one true love. Can she go on without her, or will she let her sorrow consume her?

1. Oh, The Memories

AN: Yo, I am Elusive. This is my first fic, so go a little easy (not too easy though..) I've been writing this for... about 2 months and I feel like I need a second pair of eyes if I wanna keep this story going at a steady pace, so if anyone would like to be a Beta, I'd appreatiate the help. Anyway, on with the story*

Chapter One: Oh, The Memories

The day of the accident was definitely the worst day of my life. I was watching TV, waiting for Elsa to come home from the store, when I got the call from her parents that would change my life.

"Elsa was in an accident..." her mother said her voice shaky and laced with sorrow "and they don't know if she'll pull through."

All I could do was stand there, phone in hand fighting back the tears.

"Where is she?" I asked shakier than I had expected.

"She's at St. Johns. Agdar is still there if you want to go keep him company, I couldn't stay. Having to see her like that..." She took a shaky breath "I just couldn't stay."

That night as I arrived at the hospital, her father was sitting in a chair, face in his hands and he was shaking with sobs. I walked over and put a hand on his shoulder. He looked up at me eyes red and face wet.

"She's...gone."

And at that exact moment, the whole world seemed to slow down. Everything became dull, colors faded, sounds dampened, smells were less fragrant. I ran down the hall after asking "Which room?" and ran into the room they had Elsa in. As soon as I saw her prone form laying in the hospital bed tears welled up in my eyes. I walked over to her placing my hands on each cheek "No... No, Elsa" I choked out as tears ran down my face. A nurse had come in and was asking me questions but I couldn't hear her. I was lost in Elsa's beautiful face, imagining it smiling at me hearing Elsa's wonderful voice say "It's okay... I'm alive. Just a little dinged up." But it never happened. She just laid there cold as ice. The nurse grabbed my shoulder. Slowly I turned towards her and broke down, dropping to the floor and I sobbed.

Now, a month later, I'm at the funeral of the only woman I ever loved trying my hardest not to cry, and clinging to Kristoff like my life depended on it, which at the time, it probably did... As I sit here Elsa's father delivers a speech, one last goodbye to his only daughter and I can't help but remember the first time we met.

January 11 2005*

It was mid winter, about ten years ago, I was 13, in 7th grade, being bullied. As usual, it was Hans the oh so stereotypical bully trying to take my lunch money. But today, I was mad. My mom and dad were fighting, again, and it always infuriated me. So instead of submitting I said "No it's my money. Get your own." Hans didn't like that. He shoved me up against the wall raising his fist. I closed my eyes so tight that the muscles in my face hurt, but then the pressure of Hans pushing against me let up and I hear a meaty thud on the wall next to me and a girl harshly whispered "Listen up you little shit, If you ever bother this girl again, I will kick your ass to the moon."

As I opened my eyes I was graced with the most beautiful sight I've ever seen. Big pale blue eyes, skin almost as white as snow, the faintest little freckles dusted across the bridge of a nose, the most beautiful blonde hair practically blinding me in the sunlight. And Hans running away scared as Hell. She was smiling a little and she said something, but I was so lost in those mesmerizing blue orbs that I couldn't hear her voice, couldn't feel her slowly lifting me from the floor, but I did notice the look of concern in her eyes when I didn't answer "Uh- I um- sorry gotta go" I run a few feet down the hall stop, and yell "Thanks" and I was off again.

As I ran down the hall I was sure I'd never see the girl again. I didn't expect her to sit with me at lunch time that day. Or the next. Or for the rest of the year, until she went off to highschool. We hung out all that summer but then, when it ended, I almost never saw her. She had too much school work, she even got a job mopping the floor at some grocery store. We didn't talk for two years after that, but that's a different story...

Present*

Her father had finished his speech and everyone was going up to say their own personal goodbyes. I sat and waited for my row to go up, and as I did I continued to reminisce.

January 11 2005*

It was lunch time and I had walked into the cafeteria, still thinking of that blonde girl who had saved me from another beating. She was clearly older, maybe by a year or two. She was taller, had less childish features and she had already began developing breasts. As I walked through the lunch line, I saw her. She was walking towards me.

Oh my God! She's walking towards me!

I was beginning to panic when she walked up and gave me the sweetest smile ever "Hi".

I was lost.

Why is she talking to someone like me? Just boring old Anna?

"Wha- Hi me?"

She nods.

"Oh- uh- Hi?" I wave awkwardly.

The second she giggled at my awkwardness, I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this blonde girl.

But I don't even know her name! I should figure it out.

We leave the lunch line and walk over to my table.

Oh my god she wants to sit with me!

Once we're seated I clear my throat to get her attention "My names Anna by the way."

She smiles that beautiful smile "Elsa."

I smile like an idiot "Well it's nice to meet you, Elsa."

She nods, still smiling "Like wise, Anna."

And of course, after about 5 minutes of conversation, I'm rambling like an idiot...

"Whats your favourite food? Mines chocolate. I LOOOOOOVE chocolate. To me it's like the fifth major food group. Although I think it would count as dairy, but whatever! Do you like chocolate? You look like someone who would like chocolate. OH! We should go get chocolate together some time! That would be great! We could totally go on a chocolate date!" I instantly slapped my hand over my mouth after uttering the word 'date'.

"Uh- that's not quite what I meant. Not a date, but like we could go get some chocolate sometime..." I trailed off, face as red as my hair.

Elsa just smiled that sweet smile "I would love that."

As we continued to talk I found out that she was 14, and it was her last year in middle school. That made me a little sad, but I figured it wasn't something to dwell on. I found out she loves winter and just about everything cold, at which I suggest that for our 'chocolate date' we go get Ice cream. Then I found out she's an only child to a rich family somewhere in the northern part of the state. I asked why she wanted to come to public school if she was rich she just grinned and said "So I could meet you" and then she winked. I blushed, again, making me look like a tomato.

We kept talking for the next ten minutes until the bell rang and we had to move to our next class. Elsa waved as she walked away "I'll see you later."

Present*

I didn't realize that I was next in line to 'talk' to Elsa until Kristoff nudged me and whispered something I think was supposed to be supportive or encouraging, but I didn't hear it.

I'm not ready. I don't want to admit that the love of my life is gone. That she isn't coming home with me. That we aren't going to cuddle all night. I don't want to admit she's gone. But she is. And I have to do this if I want to get out of this stuffy place full of tears and sorrow. So I walk up to her open casket and look at her beautiful peaceful face and I break down. I throw my arms around the corpse before me and begin to sob uncontrollably. Up until her mother, Idunn, came and she gently lifts me from Elsa's still form and embraces me in a tight hug. I bury my face in her chest and continue to cry. She lightly runs her hand over my hair, and I feel her tears land on the top of my head, but I don't care. I actually enjoy it. It's nice. She's the mother I always wanted. Caring and loving. No matter what.

I remember when I came out to my mother in 8th grade. She was less than happy. Kept saying something about how she wouldn't have grandchildren. But, that wasn't a memory I wanted to get into right now, for it would only make my crying worse. After I gain some of my composure, Idunn let me go and Kris stepped forward concern in his eyes, but I waved him away. I walk back to Elsa and look down at her again smiling and wiping the tears from my face, and begin 'talking'.

Hey, Els. It's me, Anna. I just want to tell you... That I love you. So much.

I wipe the tears welling up as I imagine her saying "I love you, too" and continue.

I hope that you're happy, where ever you are. It's not too great here… I miss you. I wish I hadn't let you go. I wish I had held you just a bit longer before you left, then maybe you would've missed the car, maybe you'd still be here...

Instead of continuing with the sad train of thought I decided to remember happier times.

Hey, do you remember our first date?

January 20 2005*

It was a cold winter day and we were sitting at my house sharing a tub of chocolate Ice cream. Mom always worked late, and my dad hasn't been around in a couple years. We had talked about all sorts of things. Our favorite colors (Hers is blue), our favorite type of music (Surprisingly punk rock, I thought she seemed like more of a pop kinda person), and we started to talk about our families.

"Me and my mom were close once. You had to use a crowbar to pry me off of her, I never wanted to leave her side. Then she told me she was pregnant. I was so excited! I couldn't wait to have a little sibling to play with. But then three months in, she lost the baby..." I trailed off with a sad expression and Elsa put her hand on my shoulder "I always thought it was my fault, for wanting it so bad. My mother was devastated, and she grew... distant. She didn't even talk for a month" a single tear rolled down my face, Elsa reached over and wiped it away, smiling a sad, apologetic smile. She pulled back "Let's talk about something else."

I sniffle "Okay..." i said as I wipe away the tears.

"So, Anna. How are you doing at school?" she askes

"I suck at math... I can't sit still long enough to pay attention in class."

"Well, if you need help, Anna, I'm always available" she smiles and takes a bite of ice cream.

"Oh, no I couldn't ask you for help" she shrugs, eating more ice cream "Plus I'm not a good learner. You'd need aloooot of patience to deal with me" I scooped up some ice cream and shoved it in my mouth.

"Trust me. I have a lot of patience" she smiles.

I shift my weight in the chair, making it lean forward on the front two legs to try and get the napkins on the other side of the table, but I lost balance and the chair falls out from under me with a loud BANG and I don't have enough time to put my feet under me and I fall to the floor.

Elsa was up in seconds "Oh my gosh, Anna! Are you okay?"

I laugh at myself "Yeah I'm fine."

She smiles "Oh, good" then she helps me to my feet "Well, it's kinda late so I should go" She says still holding my hand.

I slowly let go and pick up the chair.

"Okay. Will I see you tomorrow?"

She gives me a peck on the cheek "Yes" and then she leaves me there, a red stuttery mess.

Present*

I sniffle, and wipe more tears away before they can land on the paler than pale girl laying before me.

Ya know... I was going to propose, when you got home but I can already guess your answer, and I spent all that money. I want you to have it.

I pull a black box out of my pocket and open it up to reveal a silver band with three saphire blue stones in the center. The silver wrapped around the stones in a rope like pattern.

Isn't beautiful, hun? Almost as beautiful as you.

I pull the ring out with a shaky hand, a new flood of tears coming.

I hope my guess was right or this would be really awkward.

I chuckle to myself and put the ring on her finger.

I love you.

I kiss her on the forehead and Idunn walks over and gasps "Anna, that's beautiful" and I let go another wave of tears clinging to Idunn.

"I- I m-m-miss her s-s-s-s-so much" I say between sobs.

"We know sweetheart" It was Agdar "we miss her too." His voice was shaky and he came over and joined the hug.

"And we're here for you, if you ever need to talk about it. About anything." Idunn said sadness laced in her voice.

"Th-th-thank you." I say and calm down a little.

"Here, come sit with us. You are part of the family now" Agdar says with a sad smile.

As I pass Kris, I give him a big hug, the large blonde man wrapped me up a lifted me a few inches off the ground. He'd been my rock for the last month, never leaving my side, always making sure I was eating and getting enough sleep. He was the best friend I could ask for.

We walk over and sit down. As we sit and wait for the other 50 or so people to have their alone time with the beautiful angel in the coffin, I continue with the happy memories.

May 25 2005*

After our 'chocolate date' we hung out all the time for the next 4 months. Mostly at my house and school. But as summer approached Elsa asked something I wasn't really expecting "Do you wanna come over to my house?"

I was excited. And nervous.

What if her parents don't like me? What if I make a total fool of myself?

"Hey, it's okay. I know they'll love you."

Oh crap! Was I thinking out loud?

Elsa smiled "Yes."

I blushed out of embarrassment "Yeah-uh- sure we can hang out at your house. What time?"

"How about right after school? I just figured it'd be easier if you just got on the bus with me" she said shyly.

I smiled "Okay. It's a date." And winked at her. At this point I had started having feelings of wanting to be more than friends with Elsa. I also had googled some things. Like "How to know when a girl likes you" that sort of stuff. Well it was kind of helpful, and me being ever out going I would mercilessly flirt with the beautiful almost 15 year old.

After school we got on the bus and went to her house. When we showed up, my jaw hit the floor. Even though it was close to summer, being so far north, there was still some snow on the ground, but that was hardly the first thing I noticed. Her house was HUGE! I had seen mansions before on TV, and none of them looked that big. It was practically a castle! Elsa put a hand under my chin and closed my mouth.

"Oh my God, Els! This place is freaking GIANT! It's like a little castle! I didn't even know there were any houses this big in Michigan!"

"Well... technically we're in Canada..." Elsa said sheepishly.

"C'mon lets go inside!" I yelled excitedly.

Elsa grabbed my hand and we ran to the front door of the castle like house and we pushed our way through.

"My parents won't be home until morning so you'll have to wait to meet them. But that just means we can do whatever you want to do" She smiled and we ran up the stairs. We ran past some bikes and I stopped dead and still as a statue while Elsa kept going. She was pulled back by my iron grip on her hand and almost fell "Anna, What th-"

"Lets ride these!"

"Where would we go? There's only woods around us."

"Lets just ride 'em in here!"

"Anna we ca-"

"You said we could do anything I want. And I want to ride bikes around the halls!" I say excitedly.

Elsa sighs, a small smile on her face "Okay."

I yelp and jump around happily and drag Elsa over to the bikes resting on the wall. I grab one and jump on peddling down the hall.

Then I turn around and yell "Elsa! Watch this!" I pedal back down the hall then I jump up and stand on the seat of the bike, balancing on one foot "Ta-daaaAAAAAH!" I rode the bike too far and went tumbling down the stairs.When everything stopped spinning I felt arms under me. I opened my eyes to see a set of knights armor. "Thank you, fair knight." I say and pat the hollow suit on the chest then jumped off as Elsa raced down the steps.

"Anna! Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

I hugged her tight "Elsa chill okay? I'm fine. This nice knight caught me" I pointed at the suit of armor and giggled.

"Oh thank god! I thought you got hurt or knocked out because you didnt answer me when I yelled.." She trailed off sadness in her voice "I couldn't bear it if you got hurt, Anna. Please try to be more careful?"

I chuckled and hugged her tighter "Of course."

We continued to ride the bikes around her house until the maids yelled at us for making a mess.

So we went to her room around 10 o'clock and got ready for bed.

"So do you have a couch somewhere or extra blankets for the floor...?" I asked as I looked around.

"Oh, psh, Do you see the size of my bed. We can share" I blushed at the thought of sharing a bed with the beautiful girl. "But if it makes you uncomfortable I c-"

"No, no. I just.. Oh fuck it." I shrugged and climbed on her bed.

"Did you just say 'fuck'?"

"Uh... Yeah?"

"My parents won't even let me say crap... " she said.

"My parents don't really let me swear either... But I usually do it when I'm out with friends and stuff since they can't yell at me. Try it, it's not like you'll get in trouble" I replied.

"Hmm... shit. " she said quietly, which caused me to burst out laughing.

"There ya go! Freeing isn't it??" I say with a smirk.

"You're damn right about that, Anna." She replied, a smirk of her own growing on her face.

She climbed into the bed next to me after we were dressed in our night wear. As she turned the light off I turned to face her back, and realized she had the same idea. Our eyes met and I swear her iris' glowed. We laid there, looking into each others eyes just enjoying the moment.

"Night, Elsa. Love you" I had meant it as a platonic gesture. That was the first time I told someone besides my parents that I love them.

Elsa's eyes went wide and then she relaxed and whispered "I love you, too" and then we both rolled over and went to sleep.

Present*

I wipe my eyes as I exit the church with the Lawrences. I'm going to go stay with them for awhile. I won't be able to go back to mine and Elsa's apartment without crying my eyes out. I ask Kris if he could swing by and grab Olaf, poor cat doesn't even know what's goin' on...

The drive there was relatively quite, aside from the sounds of the car going over bumps.

As we pull up to the house and park I grab my things and I go straight to Elsa's room. And the second I open the door the emotions hit me, like a hard slap to the face leaving me crying and in pain.

Why did I think this was a good Idea?

This is where we fell in love, where we would cuddle all night.

Where we first made-

The rest of my thought is cut off when I begin to cry. I walk over to the bed me and Elsa shared for three years. Where we would laugh together, cry together. I grab the stuffed polar bear I had given her, curl up with it and cry myself to sleep, my last thought being the same as the first night I spent here.

I love you, Elsa.