Matthew Williams had been woken up many, many times, by many, many, different methods. He'd had water dumped on his face, maple syrup drizzled on his stomach, Kumajiro draped over his neck, his nose pinched shut, ice stuffed down his pants, and his every joint cracked. Not counting the countless times the smoke alarm had gone off when a failed attempt to make pancakes resulted in an evacuation of the house. All of which had been perpetrated by a mischievous albino that enjoyed tormenting his best friend/ lover/ cook/ maid.

Constantly.

But this time…

Matthew was standing on his steps, having been raised from his sleep by what sounded suspiciously like German techno music.

Unfortunately, his music senses were correct.

The aforementioned mischievous albino was dancing- buck naked- on Matthew's new kitchen table, the music turned up to ear bleeding, speaker busting, guaranteed to piss off a certain Canadian levels. Right as Matthew opened his mouth to scream at Gilbert to shut the fucking music off now, Gilbert started doing pelvic thrusts. And Matt was left with his mouth hanging open, his face turning an interesting shade of red, and a Prussian who was now aware of his dumbfounded audience.

"HEY MATTIE!" He shouted over the music, not stopping with his dancing. "WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?"

"STOP DANCING LIKE THAT AND PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!" Matthew was now bright crimson, and after another fruitless attempt of yelling at Gilbert to turn off the music and stop dancing, he walked over to the stereo, covering his ears to protect them from the music, and attempted to find the volume knob to turn this shit off.

"DON'T BE A BUZZKILL, MATTIE!" Gilbert bellowed, smirking at the way Matthew's eye twitched when he turned around to face his gyrating boyfriend. "OH, I GET IT. YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE I'M THRUSTING INTO THE AIR INSTEAD OF YOUR ASS!"

"…"

When Alfred came over later to congratulate Matthew on finally getting rid of his ugly old table (and not at all to try and get his dear twin to lend him some money or make pancakes), he found Gilbert and his brother christening said new table, with the German techno still blaring in the background.

"Shit, Matt! Do you have to fuck on every surface in your house? It's not sanitary here anymore!" Alfred covered his eyes and backed out of the room, before sprinting out of the house and trying to touch as little as possible.

"Crazy fucking Canadian," he muttered as he started his car. "I'll never be able to listen to disko Deutsch again…"

Authoress' Random Ramble

been a while since I wrote pure PruCan ^^

This was inspired by an email rp between me and two of my friends, and the quote was too good to pass up (you know which one) :D

Less than three. Less than three