NOTE : This is a 5 + year old manuscript I'm reposting. I WILL / AM editing all 107 of my Twilight stories. Thats over 1.2 million words currently and counting… If you are a longstanding fan please message me with any requests for reposts and I will move it to the top of the repost list. Thank you always fandom friends for carrying me through my darkest times. I owe these stories to you all. Please review I need the motivation.
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Jacob's Strife
Jacob/Bella
Rating MA
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All publicly recognisable characters belong to their respective owners and no copyright infringement is intended.
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Summary: What's really going on when after Bella's graduation Jacob cuts off all contact again and how far is he prepared to go to prove true loves worth?
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Jacob's Strife: One
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"It is vain for the coward to flee; death follows close behind; it is only by defying it that the brave escape." Voltaire.
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"True love grows by sacrifice and the more thoroughly the soul rejects natural satisfaction the stronger and more detached its tenderness becomes." Unknown.
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De ja vous–that's what this was, twenty-four days, the longest we'd been apart since the day I brought the motorcycles to him five months ago and just like before his dad was fielding his calls or not answering the phone at all again and I missed my best friend more than ever, I didn't need to see him I wanted to and I was leaving for college in less than three weeks so I could start my job at the bookstore close to campus, we'd planned to spend as much time possible together once school was out and already our time had been cut in half.
Over the last almost month I'd wondered if maybe this was something Jake was going to do every couple of months or so, that this was just how our relationship would be and I didn't know if I could deal with that, he was the one reliable thing in my life or so I thought even if right now he wasn't acting like it.
No, Jacob had a reason last time. Sam wouldn't let him come. There will be a reason this time. With hindsight I fully understood why Jacob was kept away from me when he first phased but at the time I couldn't help wishing someone had given me a heads up that he was actually ok, that was all I'd needed. Telling me he was ill wasn't the best thing and just hurt even more once I found out he was alive and well walking round half naked in the rain. How did Sam and Billy along with the other elders expect us to simply disappear from each other's lives? We'd always been close right from when he was born even though there had been a long period where I didn't see him once I insisted Charlie came to see me. Still…
I decided that after doing some laundry and packing something's ready to move out I would call Billy and Emily if I had to, even though I knew she probably wouldn't tell me anything at least I could gauge her reaction better. If he didn't want to see me that was fine, I could, I would deal with that. I was leaving for college, I could have a fresh start.
The trouble was I didn't just miss him I missed the whole pack, even the girls that came and went with Paul and Embry on a regular basis. They were a nice, happy, tight knit group. They had become my family in many ways, I'd wondered briefly that maybe I shouldn't come to rely on people at all, that it was just the way things would always be for me.
One o'clock rolled around and Charlie came through the front door, much earlier than expected. I had my iPod in and was singing whilst finishing the mopping the kitchen floor. I jumped about six foot in the air when I felt his hand on my shoulder. I let out an ear-piercing scream, before yanking out my ear buds.
"Dad! What the hell?" His features looked strained as he scratched his forehead. "What is it?" His eyes darted around the room before settling on my wrist, the bracelet Jake had given me. "Why are you home early – I thought you were going out to the big lake?"
"Bells," his voice quiet and cracked. "I. We did. One of the boys – the… err angry one, Paul is it?"
"Yea,"
"He came to get Billy. Said Jake was bad, they needed him to come back." Standing stock still I listened to the words tumble out of Charlie's mouth as I processed each one as it became a more distance echo, each one sounding more and more like I was in a bubble. If Jake was really ill, firstly what the hell had happened for him to be ill this long and secondly why the hell hadn't anyone called me to help if in fact that was the case? Didn't he want me there? Surely the extra pair of hands would be a blessing. We didn't have secrets anymore, he promised there wouldn't be.
"Looks like Jake really is ill this time, Bells." The shrill ringing of the telephone made me jump again as Charlie soothed me rubbing my arms before reaching behind him for the phone.
"Hello… yeah, I just got back." Charlie was silent for a while as I looked out the window into the forest, why didn't he want me there? "Yes, she's here… If you say so… I'll just get her, one minute." I heard him rest the phone on the shelf beneath it and dads hands on my shoulder this time, squeezing me a little. "Bells, Sam says he needs to talk to you." My eyes widened and I spun around quickly snatching up the phone.
"Sam?"
"Jake… he needs you." He sounded exhausted, the room he was in silent to my ears, the Alphas nervous breathing reverberating into the receiver only making my body tense up more and I snapped at him because of my worry.
"What the hell? Did you do this again? Sam, you both told me no more secrets, when I told you everything I knew, you promised Sam!" I couldn't help the sob that came from my chest as I bit my lip trying to hold it in.
"Sam, fuck this, give me the damn phone." I heard the phone being snatched from Sam which only worried me more, why would the alpha let one of his wolves, much less Paul talk to me, talk to him, treat him in that way?
"Look, Isabella. He fucking needs you. He told us to keep you away but it's bull-shit. If there is one person he needs to see right now it's you. I don't know why, I don't fucking understand it but get your pale ass down to Emily's ASAP. Got it?" I could feel Charlie watching me, listening in to what he could.
"What the hell? You have to be kidding me. Not one of you talk to me for almost a month and then out of the blue you want me to come down because even though Jake doesn't want me there you've out numbered him-"
"Look, Swan, if I have to personally drag my furry ass out there pick you up and bring you back here yourself I will, you're fucking coming, understand? Embry and Quil are on the way to meet you." I frowned, what the hell. "Look just come, see him, listen to what's going on then you can leave and never come back if you want. Just do it 'kay? Just one hour." His voice turned soft toward the end trying to persuade me but like I could ever say no to Jacob and hearing those words made up my mind.
Wasn't I going to go down there anyway this afternoon and if Paul, Paul of all people was talking to me, even if he was still being an ass then something big was going on.
"Do you need me to bring anything?" I heard some mumbling throughout what I thought was probably Emily's living room he answered.
"Your overnight things, soap stuff with your scent on." He hung up without a good bye and I stood there with the phone in my hand, shocked, contemplating what the hell could possibly be going on. *** Swallowing I told Charlie that I'd probably stay the night at Emily's and that there was something wrong with Jake but I didn't know what it was yet.
I was grabbing my toiletry bag from the bathroom as I heard footsteps on the porch and Charlie's grumbling when he answered the door. It was only moments later when Embry was at the top of the stairs, looking pale and tired, he scooped me up in his arms, similarly to how Jacob did whenever I saw him.
"Is it bad?" I whispered, he nodded before croaking into the crook of my neck,
"Not like you think though. Come on." He tugged me by the hand to my room. "You have everything right." I nodded as he picked up my backpack and pulled me down the stairs. Charlie and Quil were talking quietly in the hallway as he nodded to Quil, looking even more anxious than when he first came in.
"I'll call you and tell you how things are when I get chance." He nodded telling me not to worry about him before telling me to be safe.
After calling there goodbyes Quil and Embry walked me to the truck, Quil hugging me to him before jumping in the bed. I half expected Embry to take the keys to drive but he climbed stiffly into the passenger seat and stared glassily out the windshield the whole way. Just as we passed the 'Welcome to La Push sign,' Embry spoke, "Pull in at Jakes. I have to grab something, we'll walk the rest of the way." I was utterly confused, it didn't take much, granted but I was just so worried, I just wanted to get to Emily's. Embry sprinted up the lawn into the faded red house as Quil came to the door, shaking, for the first time I was nervous being around the wolves,
"Quil?" He didn't look at me, just looked over my shoulder waiting for Embry.
"We'll be ok in a little while." He swallowed, still shaking. He turned me by the shoulders and I saw Embry walking found the front of my truck with a bundle of cloths in his arms. I frowned, he held a knitted hat out to me of Jakes and asked me to put it on and tuck my hair into it. Which I did before he told me to put the rest of the cloths on over my own. Handing Quil my coat I pulled on an old hoodie of Jakes that I hadn't seen in months and jokingly asked if I needed a balaclava. Quil snorted and Embry rolled his eyes, before I felt Quil's scorching arm around my shoulders squeezing me, kissing my temple. "Damn, we missed you Bella." I shrugged,
"Yea, twenty-four days is a long time."
"We know." The both said solemnly before Quil stepped back and Embry scooped me up and headed for the forest behind Jakes garage.
Before breaking into a sprint Embry looked down at me as I clung to his shoulders and shook his head.
I saw the Black horse sized wolf flanked by the silver on pacing the edge of Sam's yard where Embry put me down, Sam's head bowed and he whimpered as I walked over to him, whining right before I heard an inhuman… roar and my head shot a glance between Quil and Embry who shrugged it off as something normal.
"When you go in, just follow Emily, don't say a word." Quil handed me my bag as Leah stalked into the trees.
"For the love of god get a move on." She yanked me by the arm and unceremoniously pulling me into the house, where Emily was standing in the doorway waiting a solemn look on her face.
The house was eerily quiet, and as she lead me through the living room. I saw the rest of the pack sitting silently around the room. Seeing their expressions I started to shake, this was bad, real bad. What the hell had been going on. Giving Seth a puzzled look from across the room, knowing he would be the one to tell me something I opened my mouth to speak, only for a large hand to cover my mouth.
"No." It was Paul. What the hell? Seth turned away from us as Paul guided me upstairs toward the bathroom and pushed me in before reaching round me turning on the shower and gesturing between myself and the stream of water. "Hot, as hot as you can take it. Don't dry your hair and change into clean cloths when you're done." He looked thoughtful for a moment, "unless your comfortable staying in the towel." My eyebrows shot up as fury over took me. Yes he was a pervert and an ass but he'd never suggested such a lewd thing. He placed his hand back over my mouth before laughing and turning for the door, "I'll wait outside, not a sound remember."
What the hell, what ever had happened had sent them all crazy that was for sure. God knows why but I did as he asked, I decided that it must have been important for Leah to drag me into the house and for Paul to talk to me so much. All the while I could hear growls, whines and inhuman screams coming from down the hall. The longer I stayed in the shower the whines turned to sobs. I knew it was Jacob and he was in pain, a lot of pain.
Wringing out my hair I stepped out of the shower wrapping a towel quickly round my self as I used the sink to brush my teeth, goodness knows why, it was habit. Half way through I realised how stupid it seemed so I spat out the toothpaste, dried quickly and pulled on a pair of jeans and a clean tee before collecting everything up along with my bag and opening the door. As promised Paul was leaning on the wall opposite waiting for me, nodding to the cloths he to the floor and took my bag dropping it at the top of the stairs. I could hear the sobs louder now. Stopping outside what I knew to be the guest room he turned to look at me and for the first time ever Paul looked just as worried and tired as the others. "I…I'll be honest. We don't know if your going to be safe in there. I'm coming in with you but, well, we don't know what else to do. We tried it his way and its just not working. Quil and Embry are in here already." I nodded my hands still trembling. "There's a chair ready for you, I don't want you to move it until were sure he's ok with you being here." Opening the door slightly and stepping back so I could walk in front of him before we heard Jacob's teeth snap together in a snarl. One of his arms shot out to hold me back, "Stay behind the chair Bella." Jacob screamed when he said my name and I felt a tear run down my cheek. Even more unusual for Paul, he took my hand and led me in behind him.
The scene that greeted me made my knees buckle but Paul caught me. Jacob was strapped to what looked like a psychiatric bed and still riling his back arching with every scream and growl, his hands struggling.
He seemed worse now I was in the room. Paul held me by the open door as I buried my face into his chest, I didn't care that it was Paul or that I'd have preferred Embry or Quil, or dare I think it Jake to be holding me right now, but I needed this, warm arms encircling me, holding me upright, tight and safe. "Talk to him." He coaxed gently. I honestly didn't think he could be like this, that he could ever let anyone, especially me this close. Jake's moans stilled for a few moments and I took it as my opportunity to speak.
"Hey, Jake." I swallowed waiting for the growls to start up again. Damn did he growl, it made the hairs on my arms stand up.
"I told you to keep her away," He snapped out, his eyes focused on Paul who dropped his arms from around me suddenly. He didn't answer him, just nodded toward me. I couldn't think of anything to say. This was worse than when I'd been to see Grandma Swan when she was unconscious in the hospital before she passed away. I searched through things I could tell him, leaving for college, work, Charlie.
"I... I got a job, in Seattle. It's a little book store." I was swallowing nervously and Jakes growls never stopped rumbling through his chest. Before this moment I'd never seen Jake look less human, even when he was phased, even as I'd watched him tear Victoria's head from her un-dead body. That was nothing close to this. The sweat poured from his body, the window wide open still you could feel the heat emanating from him, ten feet away. I looked to Paul how motioned for me to continue. I did, I told him every insignificant thing I could think of until after an hour of talking I ran out of things to tell about the bookstore and how I needed to get better because he had to help me buy furniture for my dorm room because there was no way I'd come out of a flat pack warehouse in one piece. He'd been quiet for a while and I made my way to the chair slowly and Paul kneeled down in front of me between Jake and I, as the tears ran down his cheeks I wanted to move forward and brush them away. Jake was biting his bottom lip when he spoke, his voice rough and shaky. Embry and Quil's eyes never left Jake's quivering form. How had he not phased? I kept wondering over and over.
"Did they tell you what was wrong?" I shook my head before realising I had to answer him because he was still to look at me. He seemed weaker now marginally from when I first came into the room, "God damn, you smell so good Bella. Did I ever tell you that? I've always loved the way you smell. Even before I phased." He looked to Quil and swallowed, "Tell her, I'm too tired." Nervously I watched Quil shift uncomfortably in his seat.
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