A/N:
By popular demand, I am making this idea a story. This crazy, stupid idea that's filled with so many fraggin' plotholes... It looks like swiss fucking cheese that got several dozen pounds of buckshot rammed through it. And I don't even know where I'm going to go with this now, because I've changed the plot slightly.
I think that's an issue.
... I'm going to stop whining and fucking write, because you all aren't here to hear my ramblings. Running disclaimer.
High School DxD is a Japanese light novel series written by Ichiei Ishibumi and illustrated by Miyama-Zero. Harry Potter is a series of seven fantasy novels written by the British author J. K. Rowling. This is a fan-based... Something. Please support the official release.
Warning: OOC, AU (Heavily so), mention/possible harems (Highschool DxD... It's kind of mandatory. Of course, if there is ever a harem, I'll try to keep it tasteful.) Master of Death! Harry, possible OC's, blood and guts, swearing, ranting (If loud, pompous monologues aren't your thing, turn back now), poor grammar/syntax at times, strange logic (For the author is a flaming idiot), infrequent updates, overuse of commas, extremely long warnings, as well as...
...Insane, illogical author. Who is a flaming turkey.
Hopefully that warning didn't put anybody off. Enjoy. Viewer discretion is advised.
Rein Hellfire presents...
... Screw it. Let's get to the heart of the cards.
Fuck. Now I want to write a Yu-gi-oh fanfic... Er... Title! Now!
Memento Mori
Chapter One: First Contact
Green eyes opened suddenly, glowing like green balefires before subsiding into 'normal' human eyes. A set of images and memories was processed as the possessor of these jade eyes went about his normal start-up routine for the day.
And one Harry James Potter rose from his slumber, like the great Titans of old, like the Kraken rising from the sea-
... Okay, more like a sleepy teenager waking up after a shit-ton of homework, but who's counting here?
He ruffled his messy jet-black hair wearily as he felt his chest absently, sitting upright in his bed.
A pair of wire-framed glasses were grabbed from their place of rest on a nearby nightstand, before being slid onto the teen's visage.
"Hmm... That's really... Interesting..."
And then, as he put his right hand out onto the surface of the bed to stabilize himself as he got out of bed he felt something warm.
"... What?"
His hand involuntarily squeezed, causing-
"A... Ahnnn..."
A moan from the girl (Girl? What?) in his bed.
Harry's eyebrow twitched. He threw the covers off of his bed to reveal...
... Oh my.
"What." He stated flatly.
"So, let me try to make some sense out of this." Harry began as he massaged his temples irritably.
"You-" he pointed a deceptively slim finger at the crimson-haired girl who had snuck into his house. "You're a devil."
The girl nodded. "That is... Correct."
"Actually, to be more specific, you're a devil from one of the 72 pillars of the Underworld, the Gremory family," he continued, "And your name is Rias Gremory, current Head of House."
"That's right."
The tea kettle began whistling from its position on the stove. Harry perked up at its noise.
"Ah. Tea?"
"Please."
After he had gathered up two cups full of hot tea, Harry continued his monologue.
"And so, I'm a devil now. Because after that incident with the strange tit-flasher, you turned me into a devil to save my life."
Rias took a sip from her cup of tea.
"I'm a little surprised that you'd go out of your way to try to save Issei though."
"It was more like that Fallen Angel-thing decided to attack me. I was walking home when it attacked me. It just so happened that my path intersected the site of the incident."
Rias raised an eyebrow.
"So... You were just... Walking home?"
"Yup!" Harry replied cheerfully. "Just walking home, and I found two lovebirds having a quarrel. The rest, well..." He trailed off.
"... I see." Rias took another sip of her tea. "By the way, this tea is terrible."
"I know. I'm not very good at brewing tea. Or cooking anything for that matter. Er, sorry..." The black-haired boy cleared his throat. "Now, I have a question. Do you always sleep naked with a stranger?"
The crimson-haired girl blinked. "No... Not always..."
"Ah, I see."
There was a brief moment of companionable silence, before Harry chuckled.
"Is there something... Funny about this situation?"
"No, it's just that this is a little ridiculous. Here I am, talking to a devil... And we're talking about tea and sleeping habits of all things. I'm sorry, this is not how I thought this conversation would go."
"You're taking this awfully well..." Rias noted.
Harry snorted. "What, was it supposed to be strange?"
"Well, people flying, throwing spears of light and raising the dead... That's not strange?"
"Oh, you'd be surprised." Harry murmured. "You'd be surprised..."
And the conversation continued.
Harry James Potter watched that strange red-haired girl leave, and ponder over the strangeness of his situation.
Clearly, he was fated to live in interesting times.
Unfortunately for him...
He sighed.
"What do you think of all of this, Death?"
A brief pause.
"Yes, of course. You're all too morbid, aren't you... Considering you're Death, I would think that to be-"
Another pause in Harry's one-sided conversation.
"... That's not funny."
It all began at the end of the Battle of Hogwarts. That was when his troubles started.
The Hallows refused to be separated from their true master. Harry still had the cloak. The wand had refused to be left behind, and one month after Tom Marvolo Riddle's death, the stone had returned to him.
And to Harry's horror, being the master of Death was literal. He was Death's taskmaster now, his overseer... He was Deathless for Death refused to kill its master. Harry Potter could not die.
Harry Potter was the master of Death. And it was a lonely job.
He would forever remain seventeen. His body wouldn't age a day further, frozen at the age when he had ended the Dark Lord's life. However, his soul and mind were a different story.
Harry had seen the world burn in Nuclear Fire. He had seen civilizations rise and fall, had witnessed extinction events, the zombie apocalypse...
He could travel to any dimension in which Death was a unifying force. One of the perks of being the master of Death, as Death was a constant in any universe in any time, and as its Master, Harry could quite literally go anywhere anytime he wanted, so long as he had a clear destination in mind. This, at the very least, helped alleviate boredom and depression for the most part.
Now, one might imagine that Harry was depressed and suicidal after all this time. However, after so many years... He just didn't really care.
That's right. Harry Potter, the Master of Death, doesn't have a death-wish, rather... He's content to remain a bystander now. The affliction he suffers from is boredom. After so many years, he gave up on ever dying, and decided to just accept his condition.
Harry hummed as he poured some cereal into a bowl, and reached into the refrigerator for a pitcher of milk.
It really was quite fortunate that Harry wasn't Death itself. Rather, he could be classified as an immortal human that had somehow managed to gain control over Death through the use of ridiculously powerful magical talismans, crafted by Death itself.
If it hadn't been for that fact, Rias Gremory wouldn't have been able to turn him into a devil, as Gods and Buddhas cannot be turned into Devils.
Speaking of Rias Gremory...
The only reason he had come to this world was because he wanted a break. Some isolation, a normal reclusive life for starters, because after all the excitement that happened in the last universe...
It wasn't fun, and he had had enough excitement for a freaking lifetime. Therefore, a quiet life would probably be better, in order to wind down slightly.
Harry finished off his cereal, before putting his bowl in the sink.
Of course, Fate has to screw him over yet again.
Thus, Harry Potter was definitely not in a good mood, as he trudged his way through the gate of Kuoh Academy and into his classroom, where he plopped his head onto his desk with a sigh.
Not in a good mood, not at all. Because he was getting dragged into a bunch of shit again.
"Well, it might be interesting..." He muttered unconsciously, before jerking upright as a hand slammed down against his desk.
"You!" Hyoudou Issei shouted, pointing a finger at the black-haired immortal. "I've been trying to get your attention for the past minute!"
Harry blinked. Oh dear. It seems like he forgot to put up the Notice-me-not charm he's been using, and-
"You were there, right?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." Harry stated firmly.
"But-"
"I don't know what you're talking about." Harry replied cheerfully.
"I-"
"Sorry, I don't know what you're talking about." Harry repeated, in that same jovial tone.
Yes, Harry Potter was in his 'denial' mode. With luck, maybe this raging pervert would back off. Maybe...
"Don't lie to me! You have to remember her! No one remembers her, but you have to, right?"
Deny. Deny. Just continue to deny, and maybe, just maybe, the pest would go away.
"Sorry, I don't-"
"Something seriously strange is going on here!"
Rias Gremory giggled a little as she watched her new pawns bicker. Well, one was bickering. The other black-haired boy was cheerfully denying any and all claims that the brown-haired pervert was making.
It was actually kind of funny. Kind of.
"Ara? Buchou, what are you doing?"
"Nothing..." Rias replied absently. "Just curious... Akeno. What do you know of our newest additions to our little group?"
"Hmm... Well, you have Hyoudou Issei. A second year student at Kuoh, completely average at everything, and a blatant pervert. Renowned for being one of the 'Perverted Trio'..." Akeno sighed. "A well-known fact is that he came to this school for the express purpose of forming his personal harem."
Cue awkward silence.
"Ahem..." Rias coughed. "Well, what about the other one?"
"Him? Harry Potter. Apparently, he's a foreigner if his name is anything to go by. Third-year student like you and I, though..." Akeno frowned. "I can't remember if he's in any of my classes. And I really don't know anything about him. All I know is that he just showed up for class about two months ago. I'm relatively certain that he's a sponsored student under the scholarship for orphans. Something else that you should know... he has no paperwork."
Rias raised an eyebrow.
"Oh? Is that so?"
"Nothing. Not even a birth certificate. Potter-san seems to be a complete anomaly. No one knows anything about him. Whereas Hyoudou-san is easy to read..."
"I see. So, on one hand we have a pervert of perverts. On the other hand, a complete mystery. Well, I can tell you one thing about him, Akeno."
"Hmm?"
"He makes horrible tea." Rias deadpanned.
The pair sat for a while, before Akeno spoke again.
"Potter-san's going to be useless in a battle. He has no Sacred Gear. No talents. No aptitude for anything, be it swords, hand-to-hand, or magic. A low-class foot soldier."
"Akeno. You're being too harsh." Rias chided gently.
"I'm sorry buchou, but I'm telling it like it is." Akeno replied. "Odds are that Potter-san is going to die very quickly and messily if it ever comes down to a battle, as much as I hate to admit it."
"Well." Rias replied primly. "We're just going to have to train him up, aren't we?"
It was then that the two noticed that the 'argument' between the two Pawns had escalated.
"It sounds like you have a problem, Hyoudou-san. Do you want to talk about your problem?" Harry asked.
"Yes!" Issei roared. "That's what I've been trying to tell you for the past hour!"
Harry pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Alright. Hyoudou-san, right?"
Issei nodded.
"Now, you have a problem with this girl who flashed you-"
"She had delicious looking boobs." Issei chimed in helpfully.
"... Okay." Harry paused and tried to comprehend just how this boy/perverse-being even... "Okay. A girl with delicious looking tits, flashed you. And then proceeded to stab you."
Issei nodded eagerly. Finally! He was getting somewhere!
"She stabbed you. And 'killed' you. And you think I was there, and know something about the crazy boob-monster that used to be your girlfriend, and can help you resolve your problem."
Issei nodded again.
"And your problem is that no one remembers your girlfriend, right?"
More head-nodding.
"Alright. You want a solution to this problem?"
"Yes!"
"And you think that I can give you an answer to your problem?"
"Yes!"
Harry cleared his throat and grabbed Issei by the shoulder, staring at him seriously through the lenses of his glasses. "Well, you came to the wrong person. Personally, I think you need to go home and lie down in order to re-evaluate your life. You're clearly cracking from... Something. Just take it easy, and make sure to avoid tall buildings until you've eliminated any and all sources of stress from your life-"
"I'm not insane!"
Harry blinked. "Okay... That's what all the crazy people say, but I digress. If you're overdosing on any medication-"
"I'm not on drugs! What kind of help is this?"
And so, two figures proceeded to exit Kuoh Academy together. Truly the best of fri-
"Are you sure you're not on drugs, Hyoudou-san?"
"Yes, I'm sure! Are you going to help me or not?"
The black-haired boy raised a placating hand.
"I don't know. That story just seems kind of unbelievable..."
"What do you mean, unbelievable! You were there-"
It was then that a spear of light proceeded to gut Issei like a pig on a spit. The pervert proceeded to flop onto the ground like so much dead meat.
Harry blinked. Then he took off his glasses, and looked up at the sky.
To sum things up, here's a shortened version of what Harry James Potter thought when he was confronted by the Fallen Angel.
Fuck you, Murphy.
"... I think that was rather rude of you." Harry said calmly as he felt another spear of light prod his back lightly.
"Feh. You two are strays anyways. It's too bad, you know." The Fallen Angel, Donaseek stated. "Your master must have been really low-ranking if he chose this hell-hole as his territory. Besides, low-class scum like you don't deserve to be treated with respect."
Harry turned around, to see an old man in a grey frock leering at him rather... Perversely.
Inwardly, he shuddered. Just a little.
"Now, I'll just-"
It was then that two newcomers decided to make their presence known.
"Good evening, Fallen Angel-san." One Rias Gremory stated in a chilly tone. Behind her, her companion hovered near Issei, healing his stab wound with some sort of magical glow.
"I certainly have no grudge against you personally, but if you try to harm my cute little servants, I'm afraid that I may have to interfere."
The Fallen Angel opened his mouth to retort but Harry interrupted him.
"Erm... Now that that's cleared up... Could you stop poking me in the back with your... 'Thing'? It's rather hard, and... Uncomfortable."
"You insolent-"
"Harry-san, you're still untrained." Rias said soothingly. "You might be able to defeat the... Man... With some training, but right now you're not strong enough. So, you might want to stop antagonizing the Fallen Angel before he puts a spear through your back. Speaking of which..."
She gestured to the frock-clad Fallen Angel, who huffed in irritation.
"Che. Fine, take him back. He's next to useless anyways, so if you enjoy having a waste of space then that's your own problem." The old man shoved Harry to the ground. "Insolent brat. You'd best pray that we never meet again. And you, Gremory heiress. So these two belong to you? Does that mean this town is under your protection?"
Rias nodded. "Yes. That is correct."
At her stiff nod, the man sighed reluctantly "Well then. I suppose that I have to apologize for today, but next time... There are others like me who'll slay your servants without a moment's hesitation. Keep your dogs on a tighter leash... Until then, my name is Donaseek. I hope we never meet again."
And with that, he unfurled his black wings and disappeared into the night sky.
Rias sighed, crimson tresses swirling around her face as she helped her bewildered servant up.
"Honestly, you had to go and antagonize the man who held your life in your hands... You know, you could have left things to me, right?"
"Also... Was highly inappropriate allusion really necessary?"
Harry blinked.
"What? What allusion? I didn't make any sort of comparison to anything?"
"Really? 'Could you stop poking me in the back with your thing? It's hard and uncomfortable'. Does that sound familiar?"
"It was true though." The black-haired teen muttered. "His spear WAS hard, and really uncomfortable. I think I have a hole in the back of my shirt now!"
Now Rias was a little bit worried for her servant's sanity. He couldn't possibly be this oblivious. Surely not? It had to be an act, right. Right?
She watched Harry turn his head around in an attempt to search for the frayed hole in the back of his uniform, from where Donaseek had poked him with his spear.
... It's an act. Right?
A/N:
... I'm so tired. I want sleep.
This seemed like a good place to stop. So I'm stopping here, because it's one in the morning where I am. Humans need sleep, and I'm pretty sure I'm still human. I haven't sprouted tentacles of some crap like that... Also, I just got back from a trip abroad. I want the comfort of my nice, cushy bed.
Ahem... Thoughts on the chapter...
I decided to change Harry's base personality. So now, he doesn't really give two fucks about his condition. He's kind of accepted it, reluctantly of course. And now he's bored, which is why he hops around the multi-verse.
That means that he also really doesn't give two fucks about the people around him now, but I'll get into that next chapter. The only reason he came to Kuoh was because, ironically enough, the last universe was so intense he got SICK of excitement and decided to wind down by having a normal, tedious life.
So, Harry's a little upset that he got dragged into this mess. Just a little.
Expect future updates to be about 3-4k words long, since I don't have time to write longer chapters.
Next chapter, Harry meets the peerage, and more shenanigans occur.
Updates will be... Strange, in terms of update dates. I have school, and I'm aiming for the top 5% in my school, so I'm going to be prioritizing my studies over my writing.
I really hope I haven't fucked up anything in this chapter. This is the fourth rewrite of the blasted thing, so... Fingers crossed on that one.
Speaking of chapters, if anyone wants to beta-read this story, go ahead and PM me, and open up a connections thing with me in the DocX sharing feature on this website. I'll check out your credentials later.
And as always, feedback is appreciated.
Now I'm going.
Rein Hellfire is signing out.
Update 1: Edited some stuff near the end.