Runnin
These four lonely walls have changed the way I feel
The way I feel, I'm standing still
And nothing else matters now, you're not here
So where are you? This empty room is missing you
Memories turn to dust, please don't bury us
I got you, I got you
Runnin', runnin', runnin'
Ain't runnin' from myself no more
I'm ready to face it all
Holly watched the scene play out in front of her. This isn't the first time this has happened. She is always Gail's plus one at these parties but Gail has never introduced her as her "girlfriend." She stood by as friends of her parents try to set her up with their sons. They have been dating for six months now. Gail practically lives in her condo but no one knows but their friend at 15 about them. Holly have been understanding of this and whenever Holly brings it up, Gail would climb that tree and stay on that tree a day or two and one time for a week. Holly doesn't question where she had been. When Gail comes back to her, even if it hurts, she takes her back. But this time, tonight was different. As Holly stood by and watched Gail smile and laugh as a childhood friend's Dad told her that his son has been asking about her and that he would love for her to come for dinner with her parents. And Gail accepted.
It was to0o much she told herself. She could not stay here anymore. She fought so hard for the tears not to fall but no matter how much she tried the tears just started falling. She took her coat and walked as fast as she could. In her haste trying to get away she bumped into Traci who saw her looking distraught.
"Holly what's wrong? Where's Gail?"
"I have to go."
"Holly, what happened?"
Holly shook her head and ran out the door.
Traci went to look for Gail and found her talking to who she can only assume is a family friend.
"Excuse me, but can I borrow Gail for a minute, Sir?"
The older man nodded.
"Gail, what the hell happened?"
"What are you talking about? Hey, have you seen Holly?"
"That's why I am asking. I saw Holly walk out the door with tears in her eyes."
"What? Which way did she go?"
"I don't think you will find her out there Gail. She left in a hurry. She looked so sad and hurt."
"Fuck."
"What?"
"The man I was talking to earlier, he was trying to set me up with his son and I was being polite so I accepted it. Fuck. I can't get a hold of her. It is going straight to her voicemail."
"Gail, you and Holly are practically living together. Are you telling me that you haven't told your parents about her?"
"Traci it's not that simple."
"Gail it is that simple. So the times you have brought her to these parties she stood by hearing stuff like this?"
"Traci you are making it sound like I wanted these things to happen.'
"Gail you may not have wanted this but you allowed it."
"I know. Fuck."
"Maybe Holly went home. How about we go back to your place and see if she is there?"
When they got to the condo Holly wasn't there.
She called Holly again and it just kept going straight to her voicemail. Gail also texted her but Holly didn't respond.
After almost three hours of waiting, they finally heard someone at the door trying to put the key in. Gail ran to the door to see a very drunk looking Holly.
"Oh, it's you. You're here."
"Of course I'm here Holly. I have been trying to call you but you weren't answering your phone."
"Traci, I didn't mean to be rude earlier. I just had to get out of there. As you can see, I'm home now. You both can leave."
"Holly, I'm not going anywhere. Baby, please let's talk."
"Tell me Traci, if Steve took you to a party and introduced you as a "friend" and then have to listen to people set him up with their daughter, how would you feel?"
"Holly, I don't think…"
"Come on Traci, just be honest here. You would feel like shit right especially when you two are practically living together. I sure feel like shit. Not only tonight. Did Gail tell you that this happened, hmmm, I think two other times? And each time we argued about it, she ran and climbed up on that tree."
"Baby, come on let's talk about this upstairs."
"No, I want to talk about it now here in front of your friend. You know where I went? I went to a gay club. And for the first time in six months I said "No, I'm not with anybody. I'm single." Just like what you do Gail. And guess how many numbers I got. Here, I'd say I have more than 10 here to choose from."
"But I am so pathetic because even when they were giving me their numbers, I still thought about you. And how I felt I was betraying you. I bet, you never once felt that way because you had accepted these set ups right when I was there. I am so fucking pathetic. And every time you leave when you are up on that tree, I wait for you to come home. You just flash me that beautiful smile of yours and I forget everything. I should have known to not fall in love with a straight girl. I should have learned my lesson. But I thought you were worth the risk. Even if I knew you would break my heart. This is on me because when we first met, you did say you were a cat. But I am so tired of trying to be good enough for you to tell your family that you do have someone special in your life and that someone is me."
Gail was speechless. Here in front of her was Holly who bared her pain to her. The pain she had caused. The pain this wonderful woman didn't deserve.
"Baby, I am sorry. If…"
"Gail please lock up when you leave. Goodnight Traci."
Gail could only nod and watch Holly retreat to what was their bedroom, a bed they shared last night.
Gail felt defeated and helpless. She was lost. How could things go so bad so quickly. She buried her face in her hands trying and cried.
"Gail how about I drop you off at your place? Or you can stay with me tonight."
"No Traci, I am staying here. I'll sleep on the couch. I can't let this go. I can't let her think that I walked out on her. I know she told me to go but I want her to know that I am not going anywhere. If I have to beg, I will. Traci, I love Holly. I really, really love Holly. I am so in love with her. And I am going to fight for us. She is the first to stay even when I left her many times. She said I was worth the risk. Nobody has ever risked their heart for me. She said I was worthy of being loved. And all I ever did was hurt her. I have to make things right Traci."
"I will see you at work tomorrow?"
"Yeah. Thanks Traci."
Gail woke up early the next morning. She really couldn't sleep last night. She kept tossing and turning thinking of ways to approach Holly the next morning.
She decided to make breakfast.
She waited for Holly hoping they could talk before they went to work. She had set the table and had coffee waiting for her.
She looked up when she heard footsteps coming from upstairs. There was Holly with dark circles under her eyes. Just like her, Holly didn't look like she got any sleep.
"Hey, I have breakfast ready. Why don't you sit down and eat before going to work."
Holly didn't answer her. She just stared at her blankly with no emotions.
But Holly took the coffee and poured it in her coffee mug. She took her keys and headed out to the front door.
"Holly wait. Holly please can we talk?"
"I need to get to work."
"Can we talk later?"
Holly didn't answer her. She just looked at her and left.
When Gail got to the station she was swamped with paper work. She texted Holly to meet up for lunch but Holly never answered her text. She called her only for her call to go straight to her voicemail again.
It was around 3 o'clock when Traci came around.
"Hey Gail. Is everything okay?"
"I have been stuck here doing shitty paper work."
"I take it you and Holly didn't talk? I went to the lab and she wasn't there."
"What? What do you mean Holly isn't at the morgue? Did you ask Rodney?"
"I went to the lab to get some results and dropped by the morgue to say "hi" to Holly but she wasn't there. I asked Rodney where Holly was. He said "She is taking some personal time off."
"Personal time off? How long?"
"I don't know Gail."
"Traci, I need to go. I need to go home."
Gail has never driven so fast in her whole life.
When she got to Holly's place, it was quiet. She called Holly's name and ran straight to the bedroom. Holly wasn't there. She checked the closet and noticed some of Holly's clothes were not there. Holly left and she has no idea where she went or when she was coming back.
She called her phone again and just like last night, it went straight to her voice mail.
She sat on their bed and let the tears just fall. She knew this was all her fault and she felt so helpless. She felt her phone vibrate.
"Holly?"
"No Gail, it's Traci. Is Holly at home?"
"No Traci. She left. She took some of clothes with her."
"I talked to Rodney, Gail. Holly told him that she was going home to see her parents. And that she needed some personal time off. He also said that she might be gone for a week depending on Holly. But she could be back as soon as in three days. But she could also extend it to about two weeks."
"I have to go to Vancouver Traci. I have to make things right."
"Maybe Gail, it's better if you give her time. Give her the room to breathe."
"Traci, I know Holly. If I don't go there and talk to her, she will think that I don't care. I need her to know that she is my priority. I need to talk to Ollie. I need to talk to my parents. I don't care. I need to get Holly back."
Gail had to close some cases and file paperwork before she could start her leave. Last night before her flight, she went over to talk to her parents. She told her Mom to stop setting her up on dates because she in a serious relationship and that her name is Holly. She told her mother that what she is going through isn't a phase and that she is deeply in love with Holly. Gail was surprised when her mother said she wanted to meet Holly and to bring her over to a family dinner.
Gail is sitting at the airport waiting for her flight. She has never met Holly's parents before. In fact she has never met her family. When Holly visited her parents, Gail didn't want to go. The first two times Holly visited her parents, Holly asked. But the last time, Holly didn't bother asking her. She remembered when she asked Holly why she didn't ask her, Holly just said "Why bother, you are going to say no anyways." And when her sister was in town, Gail stayed at her place. Gail realized how unfair and selfish she had been. She felt like a total asshole and she doesn't know how Holly could ever forgive her and give her another chance.
The flight was short. After her flight landed, she took the rental car and drove to the hotel to drop pff her stuff. After, she then drove straight to Holly's parents place. It was around 5 o'clock in the afternoon when she got there. She parked the car in front of the house. She took a deep breath and rang the door bell.
A woman, tall and beautiful answered the door. There was no mistaking this was Holly's mother.
"Hello. What can I do for you?"
"I'm. ah, I'm looking for Holly. Holly Stewart."
"And you, wait you're Gail right?"
"Yes, Ma'am. I'm Gail."
"I take it my daughter doesn't know that you are coming?"
"No, Ma'am."
"How rude of me. Come in. Would you like some tea? Water?"
"Water would be good Ma'am."
"Call me Sofia. We have never met."
"Yes and that is my fault."
"So you and my Holly, I don't know what happened, she wouldn't talk to me about it. Is that why you have come here to fix things?"
"Yes. I was a jerk and there was no excuse for what I did."
"You didn't cheat on my Holly, did you?"
"Oh, no Ma'am. I mean Sofia. That is something I would never do. I'm not sure if Holly has told you but I have never been with a woman until Holly. She is my first. I mean, I think I might have always been a lesbian but it was something I didn't know about myself until I met Holly. I am a hard person to get to know. I am moody, a brat and I don't show a lot of emotions. I wasn't out to my parents, well not until last night. So, whenever there was any event and I take Holly with me, I never introduced her as my girlfriend. I come from a line of police officers in Toronto. The Peck legacy so my parents know all these influential people. So whenever there is any kind of police involved event, I am invited and I run into family friends and they always seem to want to fix me up with their sons and nephews. And my Mom kept on fixing me up on these dates."
"Huh."
"I took her for granted."
"Can I tell you a story? Has Holly ever mentioned a Jennifer to you?"
"No. Why?"
"Have you heard of Jennifer Smith?"
"Jennifer Smith? Wait. She was in the news some months ago. She was married to the DA who is now running for Mayor."
"Yes, that Jennifer Smith. Well, she and Holly were together in College. But Jennifer was in the closet. Holly, even though she knew she was a lesbian early on, she never had a relationship. She dated but nothing beyond dates until she met Jennifer in college. Jennifer was couple of years older than her. Jennifer comes from a family of lawyers and politicians. Holly was so in love with Jennifer then. We knew of Jennifer and their relationship but her parents never knew of Holly and their relationship. Holly pleased with her to come out but Jennifer always said that in time she will. They were together for almost three years and then one day, Jennifer just her that she was engaged. Her parents had introduced her to a man who she eventually married because it was a match that benefits both families. Holly had no idea and it hit her like a freight train. And the only thing Jennifer said to her was "She was really sorry." Holly was so devastated. Did you know she was doing her specialty in Brain Surgery and also doing Forensic Pathology?"
"No, I didn't know that."
"After the break up, Holly decided to just concentrate on Forensic Pathology" because she liked the quietness. She didn't want to deal with people so much. She buried herself in her study and for a year didn't date. After that, I mean she dated but she didn't want to commit. She was always honest about not wanting a serious relationship. Now you know why Holly feels strongly about where she stands."
"Yeah. I didn't know this happened to her. So this Jennifer did she ever try contacting Holly again?"
"Funny enough, when it was announced she and her husband were getting a divorce, I ran into her and she asked for Holly's number. Of course, she apologized about what she had done to Holly. She said she wanted to apologize to Holly again and ask for her forgiveness. I didn't give her Holly's number but I am sure she found a way to get Holly's number. I just don't know if they ever talked. Holly never mentioned it."
"My Holly is really serious about you. I can tell when she would talk about you. Holly is a good person. I am not saying this because she is my daughter but people would always tell my husband and I how wonderful Holly is and how caring and warm she is. She always had people interested in her but Holly is always careful about giving her heart away. There's a girl, a childhood friend of hers who lives in Spain. Holly and her grandmother, she was very close to her grandmother, used to spend summers together in Spain. In Spain she met a girl who was three years younger than her and she was and still is in love with Holly. Her name is Julia. But Holly always saw her as a younger sister. Julia is stunning. She is a very beautiful girl. And had suitors waiting to marry her. But she told Holly that she would only marry one of her suitors if Holly marries someone else. She told Holly she will wait for her. The reason I am telling you this is because Holly has many choices and options. I am pretty sure her friends here would try to set her up with women they know. But Holly chose you. And as Holly's mother, and if you really love her and care for her, please make sure that you are in this for good. Because if you are just going to walk away again and break her heart because you don't know what you want and are still confused, just leave now."
"I love her Mrs. Stewart. I am so deeply in love with her. I only want to be with her."
Just then they heard a car pull up.
"Hey Mom, whose car? Oh, it's you. What are you doing here?"
"Hey sweetheart. Where did you go?"
"I went to the batting cage and then stopped at the store."
"Should I call your Dad and tell him to meet us somewhere for dinner?"
"Oh no Mom, I ran into Taylor at the store and of course she called the other girls. She said that we are meeting for dinner to catch up."
"Alright then, I will call your father and tell him and it is just going to be he and I tonight. I will leave you and Gail here to talk."
"Thanks Mrs. Stewart."
I know who you want me to be, but I'm just not there yet
Yeah, the broken road's always been home and it's so hard to forget
Wait for me now
Will you wait for me now?
I know I'm just a fool, but I swear I can change
I can't steal you the stars But I can try everyday
Holly waited until her mother was in her room.
"What are you doing here Gail?"
"I would have been here sooner but I had paperwork to file and stuff."
"I didn't ask you to come here. Funny the other times I wanted you to be here, you refused. And the time that I don't want you here, you're here. It is so typical of our relationship. You only do what you want."
"Holly, I love you and I am so sorry. I don't want to make excuses for my behavior because there is no excuse for the pain I have caused you. But I can only say that I was never ashamed of you. It is not the reason why I never introduced you to my parents. It is me and my insecurities. Everybody knows you are too good for me. And if I gave all of me to you, and then you realized that you could do so much better than me, and then leave me, I will never be able to come back from it. I would never be able to recover, Holly. I know it is stupid and it doesn't make sense. But baby, I just want to have another chance to prove to you that I am so in love with you. Baby please believe me when I say that you are not a phase. I don't want anyone else. I only want you. And only you. You are the most wonderful person I have ever known. And I don't want to lose you. So here I am asking you for another chance. And if you will have me, I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you."
"Gail how can I believe you?"
"I can promise you that I will never hurt you in purpose. I will never do things to hurt you intentionally. I will still be a cat that climbs trees but I promise you that I will always come back to you. Just give me another chance please, Holly. I love you"
A year later…
Holly and Gail are lying in bed after making love for hours. It has been a year since Gail bared her heart and soul and asked Holly for another chance. It took awhile for Holly to give her heart to Gail completely but she knew deep inside that Gail truly loved her. She felt it in everything Gail does.
Gail's parents finally met Holly after they got back from Vancouver. And just like every person that meets Holly, they fell in love with her. In her true fashion, Elaine Peck, of course had done a background check on Holly. And everything she read about Holly impressed her. And when she saw how Gail was with Holly, she truly believed that for the first time, her daughter found someone who understood her and accepted her. She made Gail a better person and one who she always believed her daughter would be. Gail is now a training officer and is taking the exam to be a detective. Gail has always been scary smart. Her ability to remember everything used to be something she was embarrassed about but somehow Holly was able to convince Gail that she should be proud of this gift. Gail speaks different languages and Holly is always so proud to point it out. She sees the love in Holly's eyes when she speaks of Gail and as a mother that is all she could ask for.
Gail knows that she would never tire of making love to Holly. She will never tire of kissing those lips. She had never met anyone like Holly. She is the most beautiful woman she has ever laid eyes on. Her skin is so soft. And her smell so intoxicating. She craves to touch every inch of her. And her taste is the sweetest thing she has ever tasted.
"Baby, marry me?"
"What?"
"Marry me, Holly Stewart. Please be my wife?"
"Are you serious?"
"I am very serious Lunchbox. Marry me. You are the only one I want and would ever want. I see only you not only today, but also tomorrow and forever after. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to have children with you. Your face is the last thing I want to see before I close my eyes and when I open them in the morning. I love you Lunchbox."
"And I love you my crazy cat. And yes, I will marry you."
"Do you want a big wedding?"
"No. I want to marry you now. I don't need a big wedding. We both hate big crowds. "
"Well, let's get out of this bed and get dressed so we can get married."
They bought matching wedding bands and headed to the city hall to get married.
"So where to wife? Where is our honeymoon?"
Anywhere you want. But maybe not Spain."
"Why not Spain?"
"Well, there is a certain Julia that I heard is very stunning and is in love with my bride. I'm afraid that if we go there, she will hire some goons to kidnap me and she will steal my beautiful bride from me."
"You're insane, you know that right? I can't believe my mother told you about Julia."
"I am insane. I am so damn insanely in love with you my Lunchbox."
THE END