By the way, Rachel's email alert is the one I use, from South Park (sort of), Jack's is from a horror/comedy film called "Army of Darkness", and Mick's is from Star Trek: Voyager (a few of you will recognise it. It cracks me up every time I hear it.)
Oh, yeah, and in case you didn't know, none of these characters are mine! 
You've Got Mail
by Sarah LoTuS
It was the end of a long day. The case had been a tough one to crack. Everyone was glad it was over. Unfortunately, the bigger the case, the more the paperwork, and Jeff wanted three detective's reports
yesterday. Jack, Mick and Rachel each sat at their respective desks, typing away. For once, there was no joking, arguing, gossiping or innuendo; the office was uncharacteristically quiet.
For about two minutes.
Oh my God, you've got mail. You bastard!!!
Jack gave Rachel a funny look, "I thought you were supposed to be busy writing a report, Rach, what's with the sound effects??"
The look she gave him would have frozen molten lava. She switched to her email window and discovered one message, from Tayler. It was quite a long message, so she just skimmed
the contents to see if there was anything urgent, then went back to the report.
Oh my God, you've got mail. You bastard!!!
Mick stifled a smile; Jack kept typing. Rachel swapped windows to view the new message. It didn't have a subject line, so she opened it.
Hey Rach, what's with the sour face??
Jack.
Caught by surprise, she shot a look at him. Seemingly oblivious, he typed on. She hit the reply key, typed a short answer, then hit send.
Yo, she-bitch!
Jack jumped; Mick laughed. "What the hell is that??" he asked his superior.
"It's my email alert," he answered, straight-faced. "Why?"
"It's a little bit, um... politically incorrect, isn't it?"
"Suits you," muttered Rachel, without looking up.
"Yeah, very funny," Jack muttered as he opened the email.
It just got that way after working with you for so long.
R.
Unfortunately, Jack Christey felt the need to stir.
Oh my God, you've got mail. You bastard!!!
Mick raised an eyebrow at Rachel, "Is there something going on I should know about, Rach?"
"Nah," she told him, "Just a couple of letters I was expecting."
Before she read Jack's latest offering, Rachel disabled the sound on her desktop.
So who was the first email from?
Rachel sniffed. So he wanted to chat, did he?
Yo, she-bitch!
Jack opened the new mail.
Yo, she-bitch!
Jack glanced up to catch Mick looking at him suspiciously. He shrugged his shoulders at the younger
detective, who went back to his work, shaking his head.
None of your business!
He clicked through to the next message.
Turn your sound off!
From your secret admirer, was it? he typed, and left the sound on just to annoy her.
Yo, she-bitch!
Wouldn't you like to know?
Keeping a straight face was getting to be hard. Your admirer's not a secret, Rach, he typed.
Yo, she-bitch!
I'm not answering you until your sound is off! Mick's getting suspicious.
He's not stupid, he'll figure it out. Who cares anyway? Turn yours back on. He sent the message and
went back to his report, waiting for an answer. A few minutes passed, but none came.
Rachel read Jack's message and deleted it. She decided she was not going to play this game anymore. She had a report to write. She turned her email alert back on in case any
important messages arrived.
Oh my God, you've got mail. You bastard!!!
It was almost immediate. Silently cursing Jack Christey, she opened the email.
So, are you and Jack having a nice conversation there?
She frowned, then checked the from address. MickeyMouse@cops.nsw.gov.au. So, Mick wanted to play, did he? She tapped out a quick reply and hit send.
Get the cheese to Sickbay!
Jack and Rachel simultaneously turned and gave Mick two identical looks of confusion.
"What?" he asked, surprised.
Rachel shook her head and went back to her report, Jack laughed disdainfully. Mick ignored him and
opened the email.
What on earth are you talking about?
C'mon, Rach, you know exactly what I'm talking about, he answered.
Jack was beginning to feel left out. He knew that she was talking to Mick now; he hadn't made those alerts go off.
Oh my God, you've got mail. You bastard!!!
Oh my God, you've got mail. You bastard!!!
Rachel opened Mick's email first. Bugger off, Mick. she sent back.
Jack's email was more interesting.
So how about dinner at my place tonight? I'll starch the sheets for you...
She sent him a suitable reply.
~~ * ~~
Jeff walked down the corridor towards the detectives' office. They should be finished those reports by
now, or at least be hard at work on them. Ah, quiet. It was nice not to have the phones ringing hot, or Jack and Rachel arguing, or Sykes and Tavita joking around. There just wasn't enough quiet around anymore.
As he approached the open door to the detectives office, he heard the tapping of busy fingers typing. They weren't finished then. He decided not to disturb them.
Suddenly the silence was broken.
Yo, she-bitch!
Get the cheese to Sickbay!
Oh my God, you've got mail. You bastard!!!
Oh my God, you've got mail. You bastard!!!
Jeff sighed. Once, just once he would have liked to have had things his way. He wondered whether
kindergarten teachers had these sorts of problems. Probably not; their charges were much more mature.
He decided to leave this one alone. He would go back to his office, put his feet up, and pretend that he
was the boss.
~~ * ~~
Mick frowned as he read Rachel's last message. He typed a confused reply.
Jack tried not to smile as he read the message Rachel had sent him. He couldn't keep the tone of
self-satisfaction from his reply.
Rachel ignored the two replies, and continued typing her report. Two minutes later, she had finished it,
submitted it, and closed MS Works. She then headed off to her email reader to see what her two partners
had written. She read Jack's first.
What do you mean, "Bugger off, Mick"???
She felt her cheeks burning. She couldn't possibly have... Could she? She swallowed and read Mick's reply.
----- Original Message -----
From: Rachel GoldsteinGoldie@cops.nsw.gov.au>
To: Michael Reilly MickeyMouse@cops.nsw.gov.au>
Subject:
>
>Only if I can sleep on the left side of the bed this time.
Um... did I miss something, Rach?
Rachel's face turned crimson. Jack looked up surprised as she made a flimsy excuse and hurried out. Mick continued with his report, chuckling.
~c'est finis
Thanks for reading!! insert standard feedback grovel here> Please? lotus79@startrekmail.com
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