"Taking Over Me"
Song ficlet that includes the song by Evanescence
"you don't remember me but i remember you"
Ginny Weasley, ginger hair, rosy cheeks, and a scarlet heart. Normally her heart was filled with love, the love for only one boy, Harry Potter. But nowadays she threw away all of her emotions, her wishes, her longings, because of one other girl. Though she didn't know it, this girl was the main affection of Harry's heart, her Harry. Cho Chang, tall skinny and well, not a Weasley like herself. Blast this red hair and awful freckles, why do you haunt me? Ginny moaned to herself. Even now, in the Gryffindor Common Room she felt trapped, everything reminded her of him. A single loose thread on a piece of fabric could make her thoughts drift to the shape of that milky white scar on his sensational skin above his green eyes.
When a form entered through the portrait, she thought of it just as a late arriving Gryffindor, so she just threw her head back into her book. Only she knew that it was filled with clipped out news articles of Harry and collages of him. When that figure immerged into sight, she saw distinct features, like his jet-black hair and circular glasses. Ginny needed to escape from him, to get rid of that longing deep inside her heart.
'I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you
but who can decide what they dream?
and dream i do"
Ginny tossed in her bed and became entangled in her bed sheets. Her comforter was tossed onto her floor, forgotten. She opened her eyes in horror, her dream was too real, so real that she didn't know how to make it go away. That picture stained her eyes, she was blinded by him. The only picture she saw was Harry, touching, feeling, and loving. Somebody else. She knew that eventually it would happen. Pain exploded through her chest as she thought of Harry never loving her, she couldn't take rejection, nothing could be worse. She had to tell Harry of her admiration, keeping it just to herself was stupid, and almost as worse are his probable rejection. Ginny was going to tell him of her love, today, and he'd listen.
"I believe in you
i'll give up everything just to find you
i have to be with you to live to breathe
you're taking over me"
It was a mission, a mission to find Harry and express her desires to kiss him and to hold him. This was nothing but a mission to find her love, she only hoped that he felt the same way. Sprinting down the halls, she found them eerily empty, as if they had seen the future and it was gloomy and abandoned.
"Harry!" Her voice echoed down the corridor as she continued jogging through the castle.
As she turned the corner she bumped into someone, no, not just anyone. It was Harry. His jade eyes pierced right through her blushing skin, but they showed no emotion, maybe the concern for a friend, but nothing else.
"Are you all right Ginny?" He asked, interest completely forgotten in his tone.
"No, I'm not all right," Ginny confessed, but that was only the easy part, what she had to say now was crucial to her sanity, "I love you Harry, no, I'm in love with you. And I need to know how you feel."
Harry looked down, and Ginny tried to gain his gaze but he kept his eyes directly away from hers. Ginny didn't pay attention to the sorrow in his eyes, ignoring how hard it was for him to answer.
"I'm sorry Ginny, but I don't like you that way, you know? Don't get me wrong, you are a great friend and all, but it'd be too weird. Again sorry."
Harry didn't wait for Ginny to respond, he just scurried off, out of Ginny's life, forever.
"have you forgotten all i know
and all we had?"
Crushed, broken, shunned, rejected; whatever it was Ginny felt it. At that simple sentence, her heart was ripped in two, then four, until it was shredded up into thousands of pieces. She wanted to cry, to yell, to punch something. She didn't know what to feel so at that moment she realized that not feeling, is better than not knowing what to feel.
It's not all that simple to acquire something that could get it done right. She wanted to bleed, to let out all the thick liquid in her body seep out slowly, painfully. Ginny wanted to suck the life out of her heart by letting it drizzle out, drop by drop, escaping through her skin. Ginny glanced at her wrists, it seemed so simple, and agonizing that there must be a flaw. Whatever it was she couldn't think of it, all she could think of was the sensational feeling she'd get once she was lifeless, and lying in her own blood.
Taking a framed picture of Harry that she secretly kept in her trunk, she smashed it against the post of her bed. She didn't worry about people hearing her, they were all in class. She was skipping, like it mattered to anyone that she was gone, certainly not to The Boy Who Lived, she never mattered to him, not now, not ever.
"Let's see if he ever notices that I'm gone, forever, he can have his precious Ravenclaw," Ginny laughed to herself. Laughing seemed more rational then crying.
She picked up a piece of the shattered glass and ran it lightly down her arm, barely puncturing the skin. Repeatedly she slid it down her arm, pushing a little harder each time until she realized that there was blood saturating the glass.
Of course there was pain, but she didn't feel it. Looking down at her arm gave her a feeling of ecstasy, like something was finally going right. Ever so slowly she brought a new, blood-free, portion of the glass to her neck. Her breathing increase, not because she was scared or nervous, she was excited, and glad to get on with the life process, for death was just a part of life.
Her hand fell limp and she collapsed onto her bed, as blood squirted out of her neck, her main artery was punctured and she'd never breathe again. Even if repaired, she had lost too much blood.
"you saw me mourning my love for you"
There was a shriek coming from the girls dormitories, and being who he was, Harry felt the urge to make sure everything was content. Hurriedly he dashed up the stairs and headed towards the screaming 6th year.
He didn't know who it was, but he saw blood sprawled all over the floor and on the thrown down comforter. Carefully he stepped towards the four-poster as the once bellowing girl burst into tears and ran off. Whomever it was, was most likely a 6th year also, considering this is the 6th year girls dormitories. Harry saw a flash of ginger hair, it was clean but as he moved closer he saw a disfigured corpse lying across the bed, glass in hand. He looked down to the floor and saw his picture shattered, covered in glass.
Ginny had committed suicide and it was entirely his fault. Well, he couldn't help that she was in love with him and needed him so much that if she couldn't have him, she'd die. No, it wasn't his fault at all, it was hers. Then why did he have a pane of guilt in his chest? Slowly he moved his gaze towards her body, hoping that he'd see her just peacefully sleeping, not dead, but it didn't help. Harry clasped her flaccid hand and leaned his face close to her pale one, then kissed the lips of the only girl who had loved him. If only he had come to this decision when she had confessed, one life would still be a part of this world.
"and touched my hand
i knew you loved me then"
Harry couldn't tell anyone the real reason for Ginny's death. They all thought that she was highly depressed, but he supposed they didn't notice the smile the occupied her face. At her last moments of life she was happy, the thought of death made her jovial. That made him feel worse that before, she preferred death over life, if she couldn't have him.
"I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live to breathe
you're taking over me"
They held a funeral for Ginny, of course, as a family friend he was invited. Though it wouldn't help, they had sewed up all the cuts and rinsed her body of blood, but with even without the blood-stained skin, she looked worse then what she had. What he wouldn't give to see her smiling, and even kiss her and hold her. There was only one option, sacrifice.
"I look in the mirror and see your face"
He glanced down at the ripple-less lake, it's surface as smooth as a mirror. Clear as glass Harry thought, right before he plummeted head first into the water. Ginny, soon we'll be together.
"if I look deep enough
so many things inside that are just like you are taking over"
Ginny Weasley, ginger hair, rosy cheeks, scarlet heart, crimson death; only wanted love in her life, and nobody was there to give it to her. Until a boy named Potter finally decided to give her a chance. They shall live on, together in another world.
"I believed in you"