Lee Jordan: Hello. Lee Jordan here, commentating for the only Quidditch match that happens every time Voldemort is defeated twice. This is a special 4-way match between Wizards from the Harry Potter book series, the Animorphs, the people from the Legend of Zelda series, and the cast of Poke'mon. Our referee is James Bond, agent 007. And they're off! The Hogwarts team is clearly dominating on their Firebolts. Unfortunately they could only afford 3 of these top of the line racing brooms. Voldemort is riding a mop, Sirius Black is riding a hippogriff, Draco Malfoy is on a Comet 260 (A flashy-looking but pathetic broom), and Rubeus Hagrid is on foot. The Poke'mon team is on Pidgeottos, and the Zelda team is on one big brown owl. The Animorphs are on- OH NO! The Animorphs team has nothing to fly on, so they turn into chickens and run away. Looks like Bond could use a little bloodshed! Oh, he shot Hermione Granger. That bastard! I'm gonna' kill that asshole. The Snitch seems to be flying away, and according to my Snitch-Cam, it just blew up the Goldeneye Sattelite! A flaming piece of the sattelite blew up the Hogwarts Castle. What the hell happened to the quaffle! It popped! Uh-oh, here comes a basilisk. It's eating everybody! It just ate Albus Dumbledore! There goes Snape, thank God. Look, dementors are coming. Harry Potter fell off his broom and landed with a sickening splat. Voldemort is getting the Dementor's kiss!" Voldemort: Ha! I have no soul, and I am a freakish little pervert!!! HAHAHA! Let's make out, you creep. Look! I got the dementors cloak. Yoo hoo!! I'm a dementor! Jordan:Voldemort just fell down dead, just like the rest of the Quidditch players in the game! Time to check out the minister. Uh-oh. Not the Prime Minister of England! The minister of magic. Ah!!! He's constepated!! Call the Air Force! We must Nuke him!!!!
BOOM!!!!!! The bomb killed every wizard in the world. The End